Eye-Oh-Wayne-E-an AMA

[Iowanian]

Today is a milestone day of sorts for me and I'm a little reflective. I've got some unexpected downtime so today is your lucky day.

Answers will reflect the questions...serious will be taken seriously, great questions will receive a thoughtful answer, and anything else will be handled accordingly.

[Shag]

Is a hotdog a sandwich?

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by Shag

Is a hotdog a sandwich?

Unless you're sitting on it......

A hotdog contains all of the options and essential ingredients to be a sandwich. Meat-bread-condiments....you can add cheese, chili, relish, kraut. If you're poor, you can split the hotdogs, fry them and serve on toast, or my preferred method, toast with some scrambled eggs on top of that.

In short, if you're a real American, you can bet your ass that a hotdog is a sandwich.

[Bowser]

Did you ever think you'd be posting on this site 17 years after its creation?

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by Bowser

Did you ever think you'd be posting on this site 17 years after its creation?

17 years ago, I thought internet people were nerds and used to make fun of people in my life who did the chat rooms and online sites to converse. I remember one friend who was always going to meet people she called friends, and I laughed at her and made a lot of gang bang jokes.

What's strange is I still feel weird about it, and never tell people in my real life that I participate here and find it somewhat embarrassing. I'd catch far more grief at deer camp if they found out about my participation here than if they learned of my internet history.

That said, I have met some people from here over the year and do consider them friends. The very first person I met from this site about 16 years ago will be where I am in an hour, because we have developed a professional mutually beneficial relationship that began with fart jokes here.

The past several years I've thought I was closer to not posting anymore, but there are some people here that as odd as it is to say I consider friends, and have shared some shit with a couple that I don't talk about to people in my "real" life. Some of you are good sonnabitches.

[Simply Red]

what's your current opinion on me? Considering our rough start - out of the gate in 2015?

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by Simply Red

what's your current opinion on me? Considering our rough start - out of the gate in 2015?

I don't recall a "rough start" with you unless it was under a different username, but it could be like the school yard bully that people hate and he doesn't remember being a dick to them.

I think you're a very sincere guy, I'm guessing a good human being/neighbor but you're one odd duck. You seem nice.


As to Spencer Ware....I'm pretty excited about his return to the lineup this year. He offers power running that the Chiefs have missed, and his ability to take carries to keep Hunt fresh will be huge in the 4th quarter. Both of these guys with fresh legs and the ability to catch the ball are exciting. I also think he'll offer an upgrade in pass protection.


Of the 3 posters you listed, I'd be happy to see any of them return for different reasons. Gaz was a gentleman who had a quirky sense of humor and some football knowledge, Endelt was funny and you never knew what he was going to do...its' unfortunate he lost the planet in the divorce. Mr Blonde was very interesting, but most of his legend is probably due to the way he left. Give me a coin toss on Endelt and Gaz but I'm probably secretly hoping it's endelt because of the humor.

[Simply Red]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I don't recall a "rough start" with you unless it was under a different username, but it could be like the school yard bully that people hate and he doesn't remember being a dick to them.

I think you're a very sincere guy, I'm guessing a good human being/neighbor but you're one odd duck. You seem nice.


As to Spencer Ware....I'm pretty excited about his return to the lineup this year. He offers power running that the Chiefs have missed, and his ability to take carries to keep Hunt fresh will be huge in the 4th quarter. Both of these guys with fresh legs and the ability to catch the ball are exciting. I also think he'll offer an upgrade in pass protection.


Of the 3 posters you listed, I'd be happy to see any of them return for different reasons. Gaz was a gentleman who had a quirky sense of humor and some football knowledge, Endelt was funny and you never knew what he was going to do...its' unfortunate he lost the planet in the divorce. Mr Blonde was very interesting, but most of his legend is probably due to the way he left. Give me a coin toss on Endelt and Gaz but I'm probably secretly hoping it's endelt because of the humor.

Sounds great! Thanks for the response!

[Buehler445]

If you could grab a mulligan on any specific moment in your life what would it be?

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by Buehler445

If you could grab a mulligan on any specific moment in your life what would it be?

This will be the toughest question for me to answer, not because of not knowing but because I've spent too many late nights thinking about it.

In some ways, I wish I had a bucket full of mulligans I could use but I have always wondered if the things I would change had a purpose. Is there a reason the things I'd do over happened that have resulted in the person I am and the life I have today, and in most cases the answer is yes.

One thing I'd do that probably would have improved my life but not changed it...I wouldn't have cut as much weight in High School wrestling. I think it played a major factor in a health issue I've had since I was 17. I fight a lot of stomach issues today that started with barfing before the finals of a tournament and still exist today.

My biggest concern with the real answers are that they aren't pleasant. I'm providing three answers to this, one had a positive result, one is yet to be determined and the last I'm unable to find a reasoning. So...for the purposes of this answer, my assumption is I KNOW the result of an event and can change it.

1. When I was 17 we had a farm accident where a cow went wild and stomped my mom up pretty bad, I was maybe 20' away when it happened and by the time I got to her she was hurt badly, and the cow turned on me and I ended up with some broken stuff and a hospital stay. Given a mulligan, I would be able to prevent those events and save my mother a badly broken leg and some pretty cool head scars. The one reason I wouldn't is because that event really put life into clarity for my folks and myself. I was kind of an asshole 17 year old at the time, and I've never disrespected my parents in any way since that day...so in a way, a lot of good came out of it. They relaxed a lot and seem to enjoy their lives more since that day.

2. When my son was 3 I was at a small gathering with friends on the 4th of july. We had a bon fire in a fire ring, were sitting around just having a couple of beers(literally 1-2) and were going to watch a friend shoot off some fire works. I was closer than 10' away, but my son was shaking his butt at the fire(because he was wet from a cooler splashing on him) and tripped on the ring fell flat on his back into the fire. I pulled him out pretty fast and dunked him in a pond, but given a mulligan I'd stop that event 100 times out of 100. He's ok today, just has some scars. He's tougher than boiled owl shit. Maybe this event changed something that I don't know, maybe it helped define something for my kid, maybe it helped me re-prioritize my work-family dynamic because I was working too much...Don't know but I know I'd react a minute faster knowing what I know. Please get rid of those metal fire rings. Build something safer with landscaping blocks a couple wide with some rock in the middle.

3. I'm going to just post this even though I don't want to...., and I've mentioned/deleted it when I was drunk a couple of times. Last summer I was outside with my kids one evening and heard yelling at a neighboring farm. Without going into graphic detail, I jumped in my truck and drove 1/2 mile thinking I was going to stop a domestic assault for some neighbors I didn't know....It wasn't. When I got there a couple of other close relatives had also arrived and were starting CPR on a child that had drowned in a pool. I worked on the child for quite a while and it did not have a happy ending. A lot more to it, but I'm not sure if my mulligan would work, but If I had a mulligan I'd probably go 1-2 minutes faster than I did and hope it made a difference...but I'm not sure it would. I'd go half an hour earlier and shake the parents into paying attention if that was in the rules.... I'm still trying to figure out the lesson on this one because it's a shit sandwich. The majority of the people who know me personally don't know this story.....Still shouldn't share it but I'm going to for this reason. I have guilt and I have a personal need to 'right the wrong'.

I started donating blood because this event has to have some positive result for my own sanity. I'm sharing that story to encourage you to become CPR certified if you're not, and if you have kids that are new parents encourage THEM to do it. Maybe the reason that happened and my instinct to respond was so that someone here will read this, get certified and save someone. It doesn't always work and I can't describe how much is sucks when it doesn't, but I've been there when people didn't know what to do.....So. If you're reading this, help me right a wrong in my life and do something positive in the name of a child you don't know. It would take you half an hour to donate blood and help someone. It brought me back to my old support of 37forever. Also important....send those kids to swim lessons as soon as you can get them in. If you can't afford it, call me.

I'll never answer a tougher question.

[Buehler445]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

This will be the toughest question for me to answer, not because of not knowing but because I've spent too many late nights thinking about it.

In some ways, I wish I had a bucket full of mulligans I could use but I have always wondered if the things I would change had a purpose. Is there a reason the things I'd do over happened that have resulted in the person I am and the life I have today, and in most cases the answer is yes.

One thing I'd do that probably would have improved my life but not changed it...I wouldn't have cut as much weight in High School wrestling. I think it played a major factor in a health issue I've had since I was 17. I fight a lot of stomach issues today that started with barfing before the finals of a tournament and still exist today.

My biggest concern with the real answers are that they aren't pleasant. I'm providing three answers to this, one had a positive result, one is yet to be determined and the last I'm unable to find a reasoning. So...for the purposes of this answer, my assumption is I KNOW the result of an event and can change it.

1. When I was 17 we had a farm accident where a cow went wild and stomped my mom up pretty bad, I was maybe 20' away when it happened and by the time I got to her she was hurt badly, and the cow turned on me and I ended up with some broken stuff and a hospital stay. Given a mulligan, I would be able to prevent those events and save my mother a badly broken leg and some pretty cool head scars. The one reason I wouldn't is because that event really put life into clarity for my folks and myself. I was kind of an asshole 17 year old at the time, and I've never disrespected my parents in any way since that day...so in a way, a lot of good came out of it. They relaxed a lot and seem to enjoy their lives more since that day.

2. When my son was 3 I was at a small gathering with friends on the 4th of july. We had a bon fire in a fire ring, were sitting around just having a couple of beers(literally 1-2) and were going to watch a friend shoot off some fire works. I was closer than 10' away, but my son was shaking his butt at the fire(because he was wet from a cooler splashing on him) and tripped on the ring fell flat on his back into the fire. I pulled him out pretty fast and dunked him in a pond, but given a mulligan I'd stop that event 100 times out of 100. He's ok today, just has some scars. He's tougher than boiled owl shit. Maybe this event changed something that I don't know, maybe it helped define something for my kid, maybe it helped me re-prioritize my work-family dynamic because I was working too much...Don't know but I know I'd react a minute faster knowing what I know. Please get rid of those metal fire rings. Build something safer with landscaping blocks a couple wide with some rock in the middle.

3. I'm going to just post this even though I don't want to...., and I've mentioned/deleted it when I was drunk a couple of times. Last summer I was outside with my kids one evening and heard yelling at a neighboring farm. Without going into graphic detail, I jumped in my truck and drove 1/2 mile thinking I was going to stop a domestic assault for some neighbors I didn't know....It wasn't. When I got there a couple of other close relatives had also arrived and were starting CPR on a child that had drowned in a pool. I worked on the child for quite a while and it did not have a happy ending. A lot more to it, but I'm not sure if my mulligan would work, but If I had a mulligan I'd probably go 1-2 minutes faster than I did and hope it made a difference...but I'm not sure it would. I'd go half an hour earlier and shake the parents into paying attention if that was in the rules.... I'm still trying to figure out the lesson on this one because it's a shit sandwich. The majority of the people who know me personally don't know this story.....Still shouldn't share it but I'm going to for this reason. I have guilt and I have a personal need to 'right the wrong'.

I started donating blood because this event has to have some positive result for my own sanity. I'm sharing that story to encourage you to become CPR certified if you're not, and if you have kids that are new parents encourage THEM to do it. Maybe the reason that happened and my instinct to respond was so that someone here will read this, get certified and save someone. It doesn't always work and I can't describe how much is sucks when it doesn't, but I've been there when people didn't know what to do.....So. If you're reading this, help me right a wrong in my life and do something positive in the name of a child you don't know. It would take you half an hour to donate blood and help someone. It brought me back to my old support of 37forever. Also important....send those kids to swim lessons as soon as you can get them in. If you can't afford it, call me.

I'll never answer a tougher question.

That’s a hell of an answer. All the best to you.

[Simply Red]

Also - are you excited for Spencer Ware's return? I seem to think he's forgotten around here.

[srvy]

Originally Posted by Simply Red

Also - are you excited for Spencer Ware's return? I seem to think he's forgotten around here.

I smell a trade.

[Buns]

Why is today a milestone for you, if you don't mind me askin?

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by Buns

Why is today a milestone for you, if you don't mind me askin?

Not a big deal, just one of those Milestone birthdays that has me reflective. I'm closer to death than birth for sure.