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Old 05-13-2017, 07:45 PM  
Hog's Gone Fishin Hog's Gone Fishin is offline
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Confused Bronco fan caught in Portland
PORTLAND, Ore. (KATU) - Portland Police say they've arrested a man for allegedly "masturbating vigorously" outside a nonprofit.
Someone called 911 on May 3 reporting they saw a man exposing himself outside New Avenues for Youth on Southwest Ninth Avenue. When officers responded, several witnesses pointed out the suspect, whose "erect penis was exposed to the public while he masturbated vigorously," court documents say.
When an officer asked him why he was doing that in public, the man said he was on meth, wanted to go back to prison, and said he "[expletive] hates Portland," documents say.
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Old 05-13-2017, 08:02 PM   #2
cwhocares cwhocares is offline
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We had a mentally challenged person at work and one day he was found in the stairwell masturbating by 2 lady supervisors. They told him he needed to stop as he was in a lot of trouble. His answer was one of the best I've ever heard. He said

"F@#k you. I'm on break." Honest to God, True story.
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Old 05-13-2017, 08:12 PM   #3
mdchiefsfan mdchiefsfan is offline
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Originally Posted by cwhocares View Post
We had a mentally challenged person at work and one day he was found in the stairwell masturbating by 2 lady supervisors. They told him he needed to stop as he was in a lot of trouble. His answer was one of the best I've ever heard. He said

"F@#k you. I'm on break." Honest to God, True story.
Haha! I have one like that: I had a kid that gathered the carts at the Bass-Pro Shops, where I started Loss Prevention. He wasn't fully there, but was a genuinely great person, and would talk with anyone.

Due to his job, during the winter, he would frequently wear ski masks (something easily purchased at the store). I guess he had to go to the ATM inside the bank, within the mall shopping center, and it never occurred to him to take his ski mask off when walking in a bank.

People began to get uncomfortable, and finally an employee approached him, and told him he couldn't wear that in the bank. His response, and I kid you not, was,"Look lady, it's ****ing cold outside!"
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Old 05-13-2017, 09:09 PM   #4
Squalor2 Squalor2 is offline
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Originally Posted by cwhocares View Post
We had a mentally challenged person at work and one day he was found in the stairwell masturbating by 2 lady supervisors. They told him he needed to stop as he was in a lot of trouble. His answer was one of the best I've ever heard. He said

"F@#k you. I'm on break." Honest to God, True story.
dunno where you work but if they supervise a stairwell in 'furious masturbation' as well as the shit you make?.
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Squalor2 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Squalor2 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Squalor2 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Squalor2 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Squalor2 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Squalor2 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Squalor2 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Squalor2 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Squalor2 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Squalor2 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Squalor2 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 05-13-2017, 09:33 PM   #5
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Old 05-13-2017, 09:35 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by cwhocares View Post
We had a mentally challenged person at work and one day he was found in the stairwell masturbating by 2 lady supervisors. They told him he needed to stop as he was in a lot of trouble. His answer was one of the best I've ever heard. He said

"F@#k you. I'm on break." Honest to God, True story.
It starts with candy wrappers. Ends in 'tard spooge.
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Old 05-13-2017, 10:02 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by cwhocares View Post
We had a mentally challenged person at work and one day he was found in the stairwell masturbating by 2 lady supervisors. They told him he needed to stop as he was in a lot of trouble. His answer was one of the best I've ever heard. He said

"F@#k you. I'm on break." Honest to God, True story.
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Old 05-13-2017, 10:04 PM   #8
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PORTLAND, Ore. (KATU) - Portland Police say they've arrested a man for allegedly "masturbating vigorously" outside a nonprofit.
Someone called 911 on May 3 reporting they saw a man exposing himself outside New Avenues for Youth on Southwest Ninth Avenue. When officers responded, several witnesses pointed out the suspect, whose "erect penis was exposed to the public while he masturbated vigorously," court documents say.
When an officer asked him why he was doing that in public, the man said he was on meth, wanted to go back to prison, and said he "[expletive] hates Portland," documents say.
He doesn't sound confused. He sounds determined.
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Old 05-14-2017, 06:23 AM   #9
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Well, Portland does suck.
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Old 05-14-2017, 07:10 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by cwhocares View Post
We had a mentally challenged person at work and one day he was found in the stairwell masturbating by 2 lady supervisors. They told him he needed to stop as he was in a lot of trouble. His answer was one of the best I've ever heard. He said

"F@#k you. I'm on break." Honest to God, True story.
You just won the Internet
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Old 05-14-2017, 08:27 AM   #11
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