Taking control of the Chiefs franchise

[Hammock Parties]

Fed up with losing in the playoffs? Want to draft a QB? Want to fire Andy Reid?

The Chiefs won't do it, but I will.

Tonight I dusted off my copy of Madden 2008 for the PC, grabbed an updated roster and off we go!

First order of business: simulate the 2015 season. Stop worrying. Everything is fine.



Oops. We lost in the divisional round again.



Your Super Bowl champions:



Onto the offseason!

I'll post retirees, who is cut/resigned, and if there are any intriguing fake quarterbacks for selection in the 2016 draft.

[Hammock Parties]

Thanks for tuning in live. I'll post a recap in a bit.

Outstanding game. You can watch the replay online! Actual game starts at 13 minute mark.

[Hammock Parties]

Week 16: Pats @ Chiefs

The division on the line! Will the Chiefs host a playoff game or go on the road and face Big Ben?

A thick blanket of snow covered the Arrowhead turf as the Patriots kicked off against the Chiefs. Immediately Kansas City turned to the ground game and went right down the field. A long drive ended with a short TD pass to Chris Lamont:



The Patriots, predictably, answered by going after Marcus Peters:



The 32 D held, though, allowing just a field goal. Alex Smith horribly underthrew a deep ball on the next series, though, leading to a Patriots TD.



Fortunately for the Chiefs, Sam Shields was having outstanding game. Calvin Johnson was doing nothing.



Shields later picked off Nick Foles.



At that point, Alex Smith managed to un**** himself. Well, not really. A potential Patriots pick 6 instead went for a Travis Kelce TD. Still, 14-10 Chiefs at the half.



Smith's run of luck continued, as another Patriots INT was wiped out by a pass interference penalty.



Fortunately, the drive continued. Lamont turned in a big play on third and 13, leading to another FG. 17-10 Chiefs.



The Patriots were not going to go away quietly, though. Megatron finally got a big catch, but New England settled for a field goal.



The Chiefs then punted, pinning the Patriots deep inside their own territory. Peters shocked the entire universe by making the game-changing play: as Nick Foles threw a backwards pass, he broke through a block and turned the lateral into a fumble. A large fat man recovered.



A quick Chiefs TD followed, and trailing 24-13, Foles tried in vain to go deep on the 32 D.



Charles iced the game with a huge run.



A huge victory for the Chiefs, who claim the AFC West crown. The loss eliminates the 9-7 Patriots from the playoffs, with the Titans taking the final spot due to a superior conference record. Tennessee will visit the Chiefs on wild-card weekend.

Tune in Saturday at 3 to watch live!

http://www.twitch.tv/malschiefs

Madden NFL 08 PC v0.0 Game Log - Patriots at Chiefs

Team               Q1   Q2   Q3   Q4   OT      FINAL
Patriots            3    7    0    5    0         15
Chiefs              7    7    3   14    0         31

Game Statistics:                 Patriots     Chiefs
First Downs                            23         19
Third Down Conversions                  7          7
Third Downs                            14         11
Third Down Percentage               50.0%      63.6%
Fourth Down Conversions                 2          0
Fourth Downs                            2          0
Fourth Down Percentage             100.0%       0.0%
Two Pt Conversions Made                 0          0
Two Pt Conversions Attempted            0          0
Two Pt Conversion Percentage         0.0%       0.0%
Offense Redzone Num                     3          4
Offense Redzone TDs                     1          3
Offense Redzone FGs                     2          1
Offense Redzone Percentage         100.0%     100.0%
Rushing Attempts                       13         37
Rushing Yards                          51        195
Rushing Average                       3.9        5.3
Rushing TDs                             0          1
Passing Yards                         336        139
Passing Completions                    36         15
Passing Attempts                       53         20
Completion Percentage               67.9%      75.0%
Passing Average                       6.3        6.9
Passing TDs                             1          3
Offensive Pass Interceptions            2          1
TOTAL OFFENSE                         387        334
Defensive Pass Interceptions            1          2
Punt Return Yards                       0          8
Kick Return Yards                     118         64
Punts                                   2          2
Punt Avg                             38.0       28.0
Fumbles                                 2          0
Fumbles Lost                            1          0
Penalties                               3          4
Penalty Yds                            22         36
Turnovers                               3          1
TIME OF POSSESSION                  21:38      26:22

Individual Stats: Chiefs
PASSING                        CMP  ATT  YDS  PCT   YPA SACK   TD  INT LONG RATING
Alex Smith                      15   20  159   75   7.9    3    3    1   26  116.5

RUSHING                        ATT  YDS   AVG LONG   TD  FUM
Jamaal Charles                  26  153   5.8   45    0    0
Charcandric West                 7   25   3.5    9    1    0
Alex Smith                       3   11   3.6    7    0    0
Anthony Sherman                  1    6   6.0    6    0    0

RECEIVING                      REC  YDS   AVG LONG   TD DROP  YAC
Travis Kelce                     5   69  13.7   22    1    0   33
Chris Lamont                     3   36  12.0   26    1    0   10
Chris Conley                     1   21  21.0   21    0    0   13
Jamaal Charles                   3   18   6.0    8    1    0    8
Jeremy Maclin                    3   15   5.0    8    0    1    7

KICKING                        FGM  FGA  PCT FGSBLOCKED  XPA  XPM  PCT XPSBLOCKED KICKOFFS TOUCHBACKS
Cairo Santos                     1    1  100          0    4    4  100          0        6          0

PUNTING                        ATT  YDS   AVG LONG BLOCKS IN20 TOUCHBACKS
Dustin Colquitt                  2   56  28.0   33      0    2          0

KICK RETURNS                   ATT  YDS   AVG   TD LONG
Tai Campbell                     3   64  21.3    0   23

PUNT RETURNS                   ATT  YDS   AVG LONG   TD
Tai Campbell                     1    8   8.0    8    0

DEFENSE                        TOT LOSS SACK   FF FREC  YDS   TD  INT  RET   AVG DEFLECTIONS SAFETIES CTH ALLOW BIG HITS
Zach Brown                       9    1    0    1    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Cortland Finnegan                7    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           1        0         2        0
Keith Rhodes                     6    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           1        0         0        1
Sam Shields                      5    1    0    0    0    0    0    1    0   0.0           2        0         1        0
Tyvon Branch                     5    0    0    0    0    0    0    1    5   5.0           1        0         0        0
Marcus Peters                    4    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           1        0         2        0
Brandon Spikes                   3    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           1        0         1        0
Justin Houston                   3    0    1    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Dontari Poe                      3    0    0    0    1    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Phillip Gaines                   2    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Dee Ford                         2    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Shamarko Thomas                  1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Allen Bailey                     1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Jeremy Maclin                    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Tai Campbell                     1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0
Tamba Hali                       0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0

BLOCKING                      PANCAKES SACKS ALLOWED
Anthony Sherman                      5             0
James O'Shaughnessy                  4             1
Laurent Duvernay-Tard                2             0
Keith Mosling                        2             0
Austin Howard                        2             0
Eric Fisher                          1             2
Mitch Morse                          1             0
Demetrius Harris                     1             0
Travis Kelce                         1             0


Individual Stats: Patriots
PASSING                        CMP  ATT  YDS  PCT   YPA SACK   TD  INT LONG RATING
Nick Foles                      36   53  344   67   6.4    1    1    2   33   76.3

RUSHING                        ATT  YDS   AVG LONG   TD  FUM
Dion Lewis                      11   49   4.4   13    0    0
Julian Edelman                   1    4   4.0    4    0    0
Nick Foles                       1   -2  -2.0    0    0    1

RECEIVING                      REC  YDS   AVG LONG   TD DROP  YAC
Rob Gronkowski                   7   82  11.7   20    0    0   36
Julian Edelman                   8   70   8.7   23    0    0   21
Danny Amendola                   6   55   9.1   17    0    1   17
Calvin Johnson                   9   55   6.1   23    0    0   10
Dion Lewis                       4   34   8.5   20    1    0   29
Scott Chandler                   1   33  33.0   33    0    0   13
James Develin                    1   15  15.0   15    0    0    9

KICKING                        FGM  FGA  PCT FGSBLOCKED  XPA  XPM  PCT XPSBLOCKED KICKOFFS TOUCHBACKS
Stephen Gostkowski               2    2  100          0    1    1  100          0        3          0

PUNTING                        ATT  YDS   AVG LONG BLOCKS IN20 TOUCHBACKS
Ryan Allen                       2   76  38.0   45      0    0          0

KICK RETURNS                   ATT  YDS   AVG   TD LONG
Danny Amendola                   1   23  23.0    0   23
Keshawn Martin                   5   95  19.0    0   25

PUNT RETURNS                   ATT  YDS   AVG LONG   TD
Keshawn Martin                   0    0   0.0    0    0
Danny Amendola                   0    0   0.0    0    0

DEFENSE                        TOT LOSS SACK   FF FREC  YDS   TD  INT  RET   AVG DEFLECTIONS SAFETIES CTH ALLOW BIG HITS
Dont'a Hightower                 9    1    2    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        1         2        0
Jamie Collins                    9    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           1        0         2        0
Patrick Chung                    5    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Chandler Jones                   4    2    1    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Seth Buckley                     4    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0
Thomas DeCoud                    4    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Logan Ryan                       3    0    0    0    0    0    0    1    6   6.0           0        0         0        0
Malcolm Butler                   3    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         3        0
Jimmy Lewis                      2    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Dion Lewis                       1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Akiem Hicks                      1    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Alan Branch                      1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Shaq Mason                       1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Tarell Brown                     1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0
Jerod Mayo                       1    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Rob Ninkovich                    1    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0
Keshawn Martin                   1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Duron Harmon                     1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0

BLOCKING                      PANCAKES SACKS ALLOWED
Nate Solder                         10             0
Rob Gronkowski                       9             0
Branden Albert                       8             0
Shaq Mason                           5             0
Calvin Johnson                       4             0
Julian Edelman                       2             0
Josh Kline                           2             0
Ryan Wendell                         2             0
Jeremy Zuttah                        1             0
Akiem Hicks                          1             0


Game Log Ends
------------------------------------------------------------

[New World Order]

Mals this is your chance for the entire forum to love virtual Alex Smith.

Don't **** this up!

[Hammock Parties]

Scouting report for Chiefs-Titans matchup.

Titans don't have much on offense, but no glaring weaknesses. Offensive line is very solid.

Slightly concerned about Dorial Green Beckham, as I have no one that can really match up with his height.

Delanie Walker worries me. I will be spying Mariota from the get go with Zach Brown.

Their defense has three problems for me: Jurell Casey, Brian Orakpo and Wesley Woodward.

Those three could cause problems for my running game. Orakpo against Fisher and Casey on the same side.

Offensively, I'd like to go after their 5-8 rookie corner with Lamont.

Oh, and guess who's coming to dinner...





Playoff stream is live at 3

http://www.twitch.tv/malschiefs

[Hammock Parties]

Wild-card: Titans @ Chiefs

80,000 pixelated Chiefs fans had one question on their minds as the Chiefs kicked off to start their playoff game: could the 32 D stop Marcus Mariota and the Titans?

Early on, no. The Titans went right down the field and were deep in Chiefs territory. On third and 1, however, the biggest fattest mother****er on the Chiefs defense said NO MORE. Rookie Terry Buchanan beat his man clean off the line and flattened Mariota.



The Titans kicked a field goal, but the Chiefs responded with a terrific drive. They stalled in the red zone, but on third and 13, rookie sensation Chris Lamont hauled in a jump ball for his first TD of the day.



Another big fat Chief then made another big fat play. Stephen Paea got in Mariota's face on an attempted screen pass, resulting in a backwards pass that was recovered by Kansas City.



Alex Smith then did the most un-Alex Smith thing ever: immediately following the turnover, he ignored a wide open fullback and said **** IT IM GOIN' DEEP. Lamont made like Randy Moss and committed A DISGUSTING ACT with his 2nd TD of the day.



From that point forward, the Chiefs began to beat the shit out of Mariota. A ripped mother****er did the honors this time, as Allen Bailey crushed Mariota, holding the Titans to a FG just before halftime.



After a long drive, Lamont then almost had his third TD of the first half, but the pass was just a bit underthrown. The Chiefs led 20-6 going into the break.



The game then began to bog down a bit. The Titans were stuffing KC's running game, and though Smith had played well in the first half, a terribly lofted ball turned into a pick to start the second half.



Even so, the Titans could not take advantage. Cortland Finnegan, the key Chiefs acquisition of 2016, completely ****ed his old team with a pick that led to a 23-6 Chiefs advantage.



What followed next was truly thickening. And dithguthting. With the Titans in panic mode and passing almost every play, Justin Houston began to take Eric Fisher out behind the woodshed.



He ravaged her. Again. And again.



Winston moaned like a whore in the 4th quarter.



Thickening. Dithguthting.



The Chiefs move on to face the dreaded Colts.



Around the league: Derek Carr threw for 406 yards and 3 TDs in Oakland's wild-card rout of Pittsburgh. If Oakland can take out #1 seed Miami, they will travel to KC or Indianapolis for the AFC Championship game.

Madden NFL 08 PC v0.0 Game Log - Titans at Chiefs

Team               Q1   Q2   Q3   Q4   OT      FINAL
Titans              3    3    0    7    0         13
Chiefs              7   13    3    0    0         23

Game Statistics:                   Titans     Chiefs
First Downs                            18         17
Third Down Conversions                  4          5
Third Downs                            13         12
Third Down Percentage               30.8%      41.7%
Fourth Down Conversions                 2          0
Fourth Downs                            4          0
Fourth Down Percentage              50.0%       0.0%
Two Pt Conversions Made                 0          0
Two Pt Conversions Attempted            0          0
Two Pt Conversion Percentage         0.0%       0.0%
Offense Redzone Num                     1          3
Offense Redzone TDs                     1          1
Offense Redzone FGs                     0          2
Offense Redzone Percentage         100.0%     100.0%
Rushing Attempts                       25         37
Rushing Yards                         121        134
Rushing Average                       4.8        3.6
Rushing TDs                             0          0
Passing Yards                         183        169
Passing Completions                    20         14
Passing Attempts                       36         24
Completion Percentage               55.6%      58.3%
Passing Average                       5.1        7.0
Passing TDs                             1          2
Offensive Pass Interceptions            1          2
TOTAL OFFENSE                         304        303
Defensive Pass Interceptions            2          1
Punt Return Yards                       0         14
Kick Return Yards                      47         67
Punts                                   3          3
Punt Avg                             41.3       25.0
Fumbles                                 1          0
Fumbles Lost                            1          0
Penalties                               7          6
Penalty Yds                            70         55
Turnovers                               2          2
TIME OF POSSESSION                  23:25      24:35

Individual Stats: Chiefs
PASSING                        CMP  ATT  YDS  PCT   YPA SACK   TD  INT LONG RATING
Alex Smith                      14   24  175   58   7.2    1    2    2   26   74.1

RUSHING                        ATT  YDS   AVG LONG   TD  FUM
Jamaal Charles                  27   72   2.6   13    0    0
Alex Smith                       4   39   9.7   15    0    0
Antonio Emanuel                  5   17   3.3   11    0    0
Anthony Sherman                  1    6   6.0    6    0    0

RECEIVING                      REC  YDS   AVG LONG   TD DROP  YAC
Chris Lamont                     5   74  14.7   22    2    0   11
Jeremy Maclin                    2   31  15.5   17    0    0   15
Antonio Emanuel                  2   29  14.5   26    0    0    5
Travis Kelce                     3   22   7.3    9    0    1    9
Jamaal Charles                   2   19   9.5   14    0    0   16
Chris Conley                     0    0   0.0    0    0    1    0

KICKING                        FGM  FGA  PCT FGSBLOCKED  XPA  XPM  PCT XPSBLOCKED KICKOFFS TOUCHBACKS
Cairo Santos                     3    3  100          0    2    2  100          0        6          3

PUNTING                        ATT  YDS   AVG LONG BLOCKS IN20 TOUCHBACKS
Dustin Colquitt                  3   75  25.0   36      0    1          0

KICK RETURNS                   ATT  YDS   AVG   TD LONG
Tai Campbell                     3   66  22.0    0   30
Anthony Sherman                  1    1   1.0    0    1

PUNT RETURNS                   ATT  YDS   AVG LONG   TD
Tai Campbell                     2   14   7.0   10    0
Anthony Sherman                  0    0   0.0    0    0

DEFENSE                        TOT LOSS SACK   FF FREC  YDS   TD  INT  RET   AVG DEFLECTIONS SAFETIES CTH ALLOW BIG HITS
Zach Brown                       6    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Brandon Spikes                   6    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        1
Justin Houston                   5    1    3    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Dontari Poe                      5    1    1    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Ron Parker                       5    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           1        0         0        0
Keith Rhodes                     4    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        1
Sam Shields                      4    0    0    0    1    1    0    0    0   0.0           2        0         2        0
Austin Bennett                   4    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0
Cortland Finnegan                3    0    0    0    0    0    0    1    0   0.0           2        0         3        0
Allen Bailey                     2    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Marcus Peters                    2    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           1        0         0        0
Dee Ford                         1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Anthony Sherman                  1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Chris Lamont                     1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Stephen Paea                     1    0    0    1    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Terry Buchanan                   1    0    1    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Shamarko Thomas                  1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0
Tyvon Branch                     0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           1        0         0        0

BLOCKING                      PANCAKES SACKS ALLOWED
Anthony Sherman                      3             0
Keith Mosling                        3             0
Eric Fisher                          3             0
Austin Howard                        2             0
James O'Shaughnessy                  2             0
Jamaal Charles                       1             0
Travis Kelce                         1             0
Demetrius Harris                     1             0


Individual Stats: Titans
PASSING                        CMP  ATT  YDS  PCT   YPA SACK   TD  INT LONG RATING
Marcus Mariota                  20   36  204   55   5.6    5    1    1   33   69.7

RUSHING                        ATT  YDS   AVG LONG   TD  FUM
Trent Richardson                16   67   4.1   17    0    0
Marcus Mariota                   6   37   6.1   14    0    1
Jalston Fowler                   3   17   5.6   10    0    0

RECEIVING                      REC  YDS   AVG LONG   TD DROP  YAC
Harry Douglas                    6   52   8.6   16    1    0    6
Kendall Wright                   3   48  16.0   33    0    0    8
Josh Hill                        2   39  19.5   21    0    0    1
Justin Hunter                    2   21  10.5   17    0    0    0
Jalston Fowler                   3   16   5.3    8    0    0    3
Delanie Walker                   1   14  14.0   14    0    0    2
Dorial Green-Beckham             2   13   6.5   10    0    0    1
Trent Richardson                 1    1   1.0    1    0    0    0

KICKING                        FGM  FGA  PCT FGSBLOCKED  XPA  XPM  PCT XPSBLOCKED KICKOFFS TOUCHBACKS
Ryan Succop                      2    2  100          0    1    1  100          0        0          0
Josh McKenzie                    0    0    0          0    0    0    0          0        4          0

PUNTING                        ATT  YDS   AVG LONG BLOCKS IN20 TOUCHBACKS
Brett Kern                       3  124  41.3   43      0    0          0

KICK RETURNS                   ATT  YDS   AVG   TD LONG
Kendall Wright                   3   47  15.6    0   17

PUNT RETURNS                   ATT  YDS   AVG LONG   TD
Kendall Wright                   0    0   0.0    0    0

DEFENSE                        TOT LOSS SACK   FF FREC  YDS   TD  INT  RET   AVG DEFLECTIONS SAFETIES CTH ALLOW BIG HITS
Brian Orakpo                     8    4    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0
Wesley Woodyard                  7    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Dennis Jarvis                    5    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0
Paul Kruger                      5    0    1    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Tyrone Humphrey                  3    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Perrish Cox                      3    0    0    0    0    0    0    2   16   8.0           3        0         1        0
Jay Ratliff                      2    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Jurrell Casey                    2    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Da'Norris Searcy                 2    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0
DaQuan Jones                     2    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Corey Graham                     2    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0
Dorial Green-Beckham             1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Harry Douglas                    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Karl Klug                        1    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Trent Richardson                 1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Blidi Wreh-Wilson                1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
DeShawn Shead                    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0

BLOCKING                      PANCAKES SACKS ALLOWED
Taylor Lewan                        15             0
Eric Winston                        11             3
Delanie Walker                       7             0
Brian Schwenke                       2             1
Josh Hill                            2             0
Kevin Kent                           2             0
Donald Thomas                        1             1
Louis Vasquez                        1             0
Jalston Fowler                       1             0
DaQuan Jones                         1             0


Game Log Ends
------------------------------------------------------------

[Hammock Parties]

Chiefs @ Colts:

Can either stream tonight at 11 or next week. Anyone up for tonight?

[New World Order]

Originally Posted by Mals

Chiefs @ Colts:

Can either stream tonight at 11 or next week. Anyone up for tonight?

I'll be online working. So sure.

[Easy 6]

Welp, its official... Carolina wins a defensive battle in the first round of OT, 16 - 10... PS4 Madden says so.

Newton was picked once and had no td's, but almost doubled Mannings yards.

Stewart went 18 for 98 with 2 td's and was mvp, Tolbert was clutch on third and shorts, Olsen had a long of 45.

[Hammock Parties]

Alright, we'll do the Colts game at 11.

Chiefs pick up another FA surprise...DE Mike Daniels. He will start and try to add some pass rush against Andrew ****. Paea's lard ass to the bench.

If I don't run the ball tonight I'm ****ed.

[lewdog]

It's happening now!!!!!!

[Hammock Parties]

That was a ****ing blast. Recap coming. NO SPOILERS.

[Hammock Parties]

AFC Divisional Playoff: Chiefs @ Colts

I've been waiting for you, Andrew ****. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete.

Spoiler!

The Chiefs, completely afraid of The Great and Powerful ****, wisely chose to receive the opening kickoff, and proceeded to gain a series of "**** you" first downs, featuring nothing but smashmouth running.

Then disaster struck, as Alex Smith was sacked and left the game with a shoulder injury.



Head coach Andy Reid pulled backup Garrett Grayson aside and whispered clear instructions:

"Yell HUT, wait until Chris Lamont outruns everyone, and throw him the ball. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT ANOTHER RECEIVER."



Fortunately Smith came back in the game and threw a TD to Lamont three plays later.



Andrew **** then got the ball and ****ed the Chiefs.



Even the amazing Cortland Finnegan was powerless against the assault. The game was tied 7-7. It seemed that Andrew's ****ening had begun.



The Chiefs did nothing to dissuade the notion that the Colts would now savagely bend them over and have their way with them. Alex Smith threw a pick on KC's next possession.



The Great and Powerful Andrew **** then continued his ****ening.



The Chiefs seemed resigned to their fate at this point. And then something curious happened: Andrew decided to **** himself!



The Chiefs took the turnover and did their best with it.



Yes, this was shaping up to be a classic Chiefs playoff game. But something was different. The score was 7-7 at halftime. This was not the Chiefs midseason defense of old, bleeding from every orifice courtesy of Andrew ****. No sir. This was a Chiefs defense with...CORTLAND FINNEGAN. THE ULTIMATE IN RAPE DEFENSE!



So emboldened were the Chiefs by Finnegan's play, that they went up 10-7 on a 51-yard field goal, and then something amazing happened for the first time ALL YEAR: ALEX SMITH PERFECTLY LED A RECEIVER DOWN THE FIELD.



HOLY SHIT! The Chiefs scored ANOTHER touchdown. It was 17-7 and they were doing the ****ing! This resistance only made the Colts' penis harder, and so they went right back to ****ing the Chiefs with their other stud.



The Chiefs then punted, and it seemed the ****ening would begin anew. So confident were the Colts that they went for it on 4th and 1 from their own 45. Terry Buchanan, fatass hero of the divisional round, had something to say about that, though.



Alex Smith saw the fat man crush Andrew ****, and then decided he could throw ANOTHER touchdown. The Chiefs went back up by 10 with time running out in the 4th.



After a series of minor penetrations into the Chiefs' defense, then Marcus Peters decided he had had quite enough.



GOOD GOD! Everyone on the Chiefs was ****ing Andrew ****! Justin Houston took a turn! Down on your knees, pivot man!



There is no joy in ****ville, mighty Andrew has ****ed out.



CHIEFS WIN! The Raiders defeat #1 seed Miami and will visit the Chiefs at ARROWHEAD for the AFC Championship. Can the Chiefs get revenge on the Raiders for sweeping them during the regular season? ****!

Madden NFL 08 PC v0.0 Game Log - Chiefs at Colts

Team               Q1   Q2   Q3   Q4   OT      FINAL
Chiefs              7    0   10    7    0         24
Colts               0    7    7    7    0         21

Game Statistics:                   Chiefs      Colts
First Downs                            16         15
Third Down Conversions                  7          3
Third Downs                            15         10
Third Down Percentage               46.7%      30.0%
Fourth Down Conversions                 1          2
Fourth Downs                            1          3
Fourth Down Percentage             100.0%      66.7%
Two Pt Conversions Made                 0          0
Two Pt Conversions Attempted            0          0
Two Pt Conversion Percentage         0.0%       0.0%
Offense Redzone Num                     4          2
Offense Redzone TDs                     3          2
Offense Redzone FGs                     0          0
Offense Redzone Percentage          75.0%     100.0%
Rushing Attempts                       33         14
Rushing Yards                          84        113
Rushing Average                       2.5        8.1
Rushing TDs                             1          1
Passing Yards                         261        277
Passing Completions                    19         22
Passing Attempts                       28         33
Completion Percentage               67.9%      66.7%
Passing Average                       9.3        8.4
Passing TDs                             2          2
Offensive Pass Interceptions            1          1
TOTAL OFFENSE                         345        390
Defensive Pass Interceptions            1          1
Punt Return Yards                      25          0
Kick Return Yards                      73         75
Punts                                   4          4
Punt Avg                             43.5       48.8
Fumbles                                 2          1
Fumbles Lost                            0          1
Penalties                               4          3
Penalty Yds                            32         30
Turnovers                               1          2
TIME OF POSSESSION                  29:51      18:09

Individual Stats: Colts
PASSING                        CMP  ATT  YDS  PCT   YPA SACK   TD  INT LONG RATING
Andrew Luck                     22   33  304   66   9.2    4    2    1   51  103.6

RUSHING                        ATT  YDS   AVG LONG   TD  FUM
Tyrone Whitfield                10   89   8.8   55    1    0
Andrew Luck                      3   15   5.0    8    0    1
T.Y. Hilton                      1    9   9.0    9    0    0

RECEIVING                      REC  YDS   AVG LONG   TD DROP  YAC
Donte Moncrief                   9  109  12.1   31    2    0    9
Phillip Dorsett                  4  102  25.5   51    0    0   17
T.Y. Hilton                      5   70  14.0   28    0    0    6
Coby Fleener                     3   17   5.6    9    0    1    5
Griff Whalen                     1    6   6.0    6    0    0    0

KICKING                        FGM  FGA  PCT FGSBLOCKED  XPA  XPM  PCT XPSBLOCKED KICKOFFS TOUCHBACKS
Pat McAfee                       0    0    0          0    0    0    0          0        3          0
Nick Folk                        0    0    0          0    3    3  100          0        0          0

PUNTING                        ATT  YDS   AVG LONG BLOCKS IN20 TOUCHBACKS
Pat McAfee                       4  195  48.7   54      0    0          0

KICK RETURNS                   ATT  YDS   AVG   TD LONG
Phillip Dorsett                  4   75  18.7    0   23

PUNT RETURNS                   ATT  YDS   AVG LONG   TD
Phillip Dorsett                  1    0   0.0    0    0

DEFENSE                        TOT LOSS SACK   FF FREC  YDS   TD  INT  RET   AVG DEFLECTIONS SAFETIES CTH ALLOW BIG HITS
Tony Jefferson                   7    2    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         2        0
DeMarcus Ware                    7    2    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0
D'Qwell Jackson                  5    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         2        0
Dwight Lowery                    5    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0
Ahmad Brooks                     4    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0
Vontae Davis                     4    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         1        0
Charles Johnson                  4    1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Jeremy Pittman                   3    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Greg Toler                       3    0    0    0    0    0    0    1   -4  -4.0           0        0         1        0
Jerrell Freeman                  3    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Calais Campbell                  3    0    1    1    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Darius Butler                    2    0    1    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Phillip Dorsett                  1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Jonathan Newsome                 1    0    0    1    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Clayton Geathers                 1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0

BLOCKING                      PANCAKES SACKS ALLOWED
Anthony Castonzo                    16             0
Joe Reitz                           11             2
Hugh Thornton                        4             0
Coby Fleener                         4             0
Phillip Dorsett                      4             0
Khaled Holmes                        4             0
Jack Mewhort                         3             1
Donte Moncrief                       3             0
T.Y. Hilton                          3             0
Dwayne Allen                         1             0
Tyrone Whitfield                     0             1


Individual Stats: Chiefs
PASSING                        CMP  ATT  YDS  PCT   YPA SACK   TD  INT LONG RATING
Garrett Grayson                  1    1   35  100  35.0    0    0    0   35  118.7
Alex Smith                      18   27  238   66   8.8    2    2    1   56  103.6

RUSHING                        ATT  YDS   AVG LONG   TD  FUM
Jamaal Charles                  26   64   2.4   11    1    0
Antonio Emanuel                  3   13   4.3   10    0    0
Anthony Sherman                  2    8   4.0    8    0    0
Alex Smith                       2   -1  -0.5    0    0    1

RECEIVING                      REC  YDS   AVG LONG   TD DROP  YAC
Chris Lamont                     8  120  15.0   37    1    0   79
Jamaal Charles                   3   61  20.3   56    0    1   26
Jeremy Maclin                    3   42  14.0   16    0    2   15
Travis Kelce                     4   41  10.2   19    1    0    1
Charcandric West                 1    9   9.0    9    0    0   14

KICKING                        FGM  FGA  PCT FGSBLOCKED  XPA  XPM  PCT XPSBLOCKED KICKOFFS TOUCHBACKS
Cairo Santos                     1    2   50          0    3    3  100          0        4          0

PUNTING                        ATT  YDS   AVG LONG BLOCKS IN20 TOUCHBACKS
Dustin Colquitt                  4  174  43.5   50      0    1          0

KICK RETURNS                   ATT  YDS   AVG   TD LONG
Tai Campbell                     2   74  37.0    0   52
Chris Lamont                     1   -1  -1.0    0    0

PUNT RETURNS                   ATT  YDS   AVG LONG   TD
Tai Campbell                     4   25   6.2   10    0
Chris Lamont                     0    0   0.0    0    0

DEFENSE                        TOT LOSS SACK   FF FREC  YDS   TD  INT  RET   AVG DEFLECTIONS SAFETIES CTH ALLOW BIG HITS
Zach Brown                       4    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           1        0         0        0
Sam Shields                      4    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Marcus Peters                    4    0    0    0    0    0    0    1    1   1.0           0        0         2        0
Cortland Finnegan                4    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           2        0         3        0
Phillip Gaines                   3    0    1    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Justin Houston                   3    1    2    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           1        0         0        0
Keith Rhodes                     3    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Tyvon Branch                     3    1    0    0    1   -2    0    0    0   0.0           3        0         0        0
Shamarko Thomas                  2    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Tai Campbell                     2    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        1
Ron Parker                       1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Terry Buchanan                   1    0    1    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Allen Bailey                     1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Trent Campbell                   1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Antonio Emanuel                  1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0
Dee Ford                         1    0    0    0    0    0    0    0    0   0.0           0        0         0        0

BLOCKING                      PANCAKES SACKS ALLOWED
Laurent Duvernay-Tard                2             0
Antonio Emanuel                      2             0
Austin Howard                        2             1
Eric Fisher                          1             0
Anthony Sherman                      1             0
Travis Kelce                         1             0
Mitch Morse                          1             0
Demetrius Harris                     1             0

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Alex!!!

[lewdog]

One of the most epic games I have ever witnessed. I thought after Whitfield's run, that game would turn and the Chiefs would roll over.

Alex played great down the stretch. The one footed heave to Kelce in the end zone was a thing of magic. Similar to Montana to Clark back in 1982.....This time we will dub it, "The heave."
Just magic.

[Hammock Parties]

The play of the game was Buchanan. I still can't believe the Colts went for it on 4th and 1 from their own 46 with 11 minutes left.

AFCCG Monday at 11.

http://www.twitch.tv/malschiefs