Chiefs Alternate History Madden Franchise: Can Joe Montana take KC back to the SB?

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Return of Mals: Joe Montana Edition

Downloaded a 1993 NFL Roster updated for Madden 17 last night.



All teams and players are edited to reflect their 1993 counterparts. Steve Young, Troy Aikman, Warren Moon and JOE MONTANA are all on this roster along with every other starter AND backup from 1993. This roster is so accurate it has Andre Ware on the Lions. Titans serve as the Oilers, Texans and Jags are full of generic assholes.

Chiefs have Joe, Marcus, DT, Smith, Carter, etc. Whoever did this is a genious and even got the player equipment right. Faces are computer-generated and coaches are wrong, but can't have everything.





The goal: get the Chiefs back in the SB with Montana at starting QB. Franchise will run until Joe retires. Not allowed to switch QBs.

LET'S DO THIS!

[Chromatic]

FRANCHISE HIS ASS. THE TIMELINE MUST BE KEPT WHOLE

[Hammock Parties]

What do you want to bet Montana doesn't retire?

There's no way I'm paying Steve ****ing Bono $12 million or whatever though.

Franchise/trade/rape twice a year.

[Chromatic]

What is montana's overall still at?

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Originally Posted by Chromatic

What is montana's overall still at?

87

[Chromatic]

you probably still got another 2-3 seasons of him then.

[Hammock Parties]

THIS IS WHY WILLIE DAVIS IS A PIECE OF SHIT BOWSER

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Week 9: Browns @ Chiefs

The Browns are only 3-5 this season but have some serious talent. Eric Metcalf, Derrick Alexander, Michael Jackson, Everson Walls, Anthony Pleasant, Michael Dean Perry and Jamir Miller...yowza!

This isn't gonna be easy. In fact, strap in, because this was a wild one.

Spoiler!

The ****ening has begun! Eric Metcalf gets through a crack at the line and is gone. I'm already scared of him.



Meanwhile, the Browns defense is destroying my OL. I have absolutely no running room, and no time to throw.





Fortunately for me, my defense is playing quite well at the moment. Saftey blitz!



Offense, un**** thyself.



See? All I need is just a second after my drop is done. That's all I need. Plz, O-line. PLZ.

The Browns respond with a drive and only need a half yard to score. But I have TED WASHINGTON.



SPLAT. That was awesome. Fortunately, I am a complete ****ing moron.



That's Everson Walls picking Joe Montana. IRL he was retired, and that's one of the things I love about this roster. Still, an incredibly stupid throw. The defends holds CLE to 3, though.



Oh, Christ. I am a turnover machine. The defense holds CLE to 3. They are playing amazing. Then the Browns do the dumbest thing I've ever seen: play a Cover 3 and press the corners with 4 seconds left in the half, ahead 16-7.



Yes, that's a touchdown every time with Joe, sorry. Two-point game at halftime despite my blunders. Let's GO. I get the kickoff.



BIG HURDLE by Keith Cash, who leads the 1994 Chiefs in receptions. This leads to a one-yard TD dive by Marcus Allen. I've got the lead!



Marquez Pope pounds Michael Jackson and forces a glorious fumble. Another great trade executed by LTGIMPS, Carl Peterson. I seem to be on track for a win now, provided I avoid turnovers, but I punt, and the Browns get a field goal.

Down 22-20 with 2:38 left, I do something really dumb.



Yeah, just a total brain fart of an INT. All I needed was a FG and I've ****ed this up. The Browns line up for a FG that will force me to get a TD to win.



AND THEY SHANK IT. I start at the 41 with plenty of time and again, all I need is a field goal. I've got this.



MONTANA MAGIC! The Chiefs are going to win this game.



Ahhhh, Dale Carter with the game-ending pick. Now all I need to do is run this clock out.



OH CHRIST. WHAT THE ****. **** ME.



OH GOD. WHY DID I PLAY COVER 3!?!?



And just like that, I waste a 310 yard, 4-TD game from Montana.

Metcalf ****s me for 161 yards on 25 carries.



Owned.

[Chromatic]

Taking all of your snaps behind center does you a huge deservice, especially against strong front 7s.

It also seems that most of your passing yards come with huge bombs. Where is the WCO?

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Chromatic

Taking all of your snaps behind center does you a huge deservice, especially against strong front 7s.

It also seems that most of your passing yards come with huge bombs. Where is the WCO?

1. To maintain the integrity of this 1993/1994 sim, the Chiefs will take no shotgun snaps, as they didn't in those seasons, and Joe Montana even in SF almost never took shotgun snaps. Plus, trust me, if I used my regular playbook it would be way too easy. That thing is a finely tuned machine.

2. The west coast offense is alive and well. Keith Cash is my leading receiver. My second-leading receiver is Quinn Early, who hasn't caught a bomb all year. If I get Davis (or Birden) one-on-one with a slow corner who's pressing him, though, sayonara mother****er.

I throw a lot of short crossing patterns, outs, corners and screens, and mix in the deep ball, often audibiling to a shot play if the opportunity presents itself.

Allow me to break down the numbers for you:

Cash - 50 rec, 555 yards, 1 TD
Early - 42 rec, 663 yards, 7 TD
Davis - 30 rec, 775 yards, 7 TD
Givins (IR) - 22 rec, 275 yards, 3 TD
Lee - 18 rec, 78 yards
Birden - 17 rec, 241 yards, 2TD
Allen - 14 rec, 56 yards
Walls - 11 rec, 124 yards, 1 TD

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Week 10: Chiefs @ Eagles

Randall Cunningham! Herschel Walker! Mighty Mouse! This should be fun.

Spoiler!

Marcus Allen is so old and slow. Will he ever make another big play?



WOO! Look at that blocking. Chris Hinton was a very good pickup. Now, can I stop Randall? He goes DEEP for Fred Barnett.



Ugh, dammit, Deion. The Eagles punch it in and it's 7-6. But this will be a fine day for my offense and running game.



Monana finds Willie "all he catches is deep balls where is the west coast offense" Davis on the out and the Chiefs punch in their second TD of the day. 13-7. But the Eagles are pretty good.



Ouch. Nice tackle, Dale. But the #2 defense holds and it's 13-10.

Meanwhile, Joe Montana is cooking, and calls this slick audible inside the red zone.



20-10, Chiefs. Montana completes his first 12 passes of the game, and as the third quarter gets underway, he makes the silliest throw I've ever seen on a screen pass.



LOL. Well, whatever works, Joe. The Chiefs are rolling in this one. Cunningham isn't done though, and ****s me with this deep ball, which results in a TD.



Too little, too late for the Eagles, though. They move the ball into the red zone with 3 mins left, and appear to score on 4th down, but...



Nope. Barnett was clearly out of bounds. That's actually an impressive bit of programming by EA (unless it's scripted).



The Chiefs get a good solid road win and see their running game get cranked up again, as Marcus Allen runs for over 120 yards. Montana finishes an efficient 19 of 21 passing.

The Chiefs are tied with the Buffalo Bills for the one seed.

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Week 11: Chiefs @ Chargers

Since their unlikely win at Arrowhead, the Chargers have won three in a row to even their record at 5-5. I'm currently 8-2, and the Broncos are 6-4. This is a key game in the AFC West.



A loss, and everything tightens up. Get ready, because this game is going to be a rollercoaster.

Spoiler!

The Chiefs couldn't stop Natrone Means in the first game and he rips off enough yardage on SD's first drive to get them a field goal. Montana responds with his own drive. Birden takes it to the 1 after almost FALLING DOWN on his route. Phew.



7-3 Chiefs after Marcus plunges in. The Chargers get all the way inside the 10, but the Chiefs, who lead the league in fewest red zone TDs allowed, shut that shit right down.



7-6. The Chiefs get another drive going but are forced to settle for 3.



Ah, ****. Just what I need. a 7-6 game against a team that can smoke me with their RB.



HELL YEAH JOE! THROW THAT BALL BEHIND GREG AND GET PICK SIXED. Am I ****ed again?



OH MY. NOW I'M REALLY ****ED. It's Steve Bono time.



HOLY SHIT STEVE. COULD YOU HAVE THROWN THAT BALL ANY WORSE?



My studly defense is hanging on by a thread, and the Chargers get a field goal. It's do or die time, Bono. Are you going to ****ing die?



OHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO BONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!



In a wild turn of events Chris Miller throws a pick on the very next snap. UN**** YOURSELF BONO. PLEASE.



Oh Christ. Bono throws a perfect ball and JJ Birden drops it, and it's picked. GREAT.





HAHAHAHA MY DEFENSE IS INVINCIBLE. THEY WILL NOT LET ME LOSE.



YOU DID IT STEVE! THIS GAME IS ****ING TIED! YES, YES, BONO YOU STUD!

Can the kicker that shall go unnamed give the Chiefs the lead?



CHIEFS WIN! STEVE BONO IS A HERO! He finishes 4 of 11 for 77 yards with 1 TD, 2 INT and a fumble, but HE SURVIVED.



AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Fishpicker]

Originally Posted by Spider2YBanana

Cash - 50 rec, 555 yards, 1 TD
Early - 42 rec, 663 yards, 7 TD
Davis - 30 rec, 775 yards, 7 TD
Givins (IR) - 22 rec, 275 yards, 3 TD
Lee - 18 rec, 78 yards
Birden - 17 rec, 241 yards, 2TD
Allen - 14 rec, 56 yards
Walls - 11 rec, 124 yards, 1 TD

where's Kimble Anders?

[Chromatic]

I am so happy you'll have to rely on Bono til the.... wait super bowl?

Hahahaha, good luck.

[Hammock Parties]

Anders is mostly a blocker. I don't throw to the FB much. Once in awhile off play action. He is the first sub at third down back, that's why he had that screen pass TD.

Originally Posted by Chromatic

I am so happy you'll have to rely on Bono til the.... wait super bowl?

Montana is out seven weeks. There's five weeks left in the regular season. Madden's injury return logic is cloudy, but it's possible he could be back for the divisional round early ala Sanders. He will definitely be back for the AFC Championship game.

We're going to get the best of the '94 and '95 Chiefs in one postseason!

I only wish kicking wasn't automatic.

The challenge now is if I can hold on to my bye. I don't know if I can make it through two playoff games with Bono. If there's ANY pressure, Madden's ratings logic kicks in and his passes fly off target.

[Hammock Parties]

Week 12: Raiders @ Chiefs

The Chiefs own the Raiders, and Steve Bono already beat them earlier this year. This one's as good as a W, right? The playoff race is tightening.

Spoiler!

Bono drives the Chiefs deep into Raider territory on their first possession. This is going well.



OHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BONOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

That dodgy bit of ****ery leads to a 10-0 deficit. Fortunately, the Raiders are helpless against my ground game.



That score holds until Derrick Thomas steps up to the plate.



Oh MY, what a play. The defense and running game are working. Surely Bono won't **** this up.



OH MYYYYYYY WHAT A PLAY. Steve Bono is cocking this up.



. The ****, man. Bono threw that lousy ass ball last week and then unleashes that dime. Well, I'll take it. 16-14 at the half. It remains that way through a puntfest third quarter, when the Chiefs ground game seizes control with 4:45 left.



one who sucks the penis MOTHER****ER AND TITS! Is EVERYONE on this team determined to turn the ball over. I'm so ****ed.



GOD IN HEAVEN. WHAT A PLAY BY DERRICK THOMAS. Rob Fredrickson cements the fact that he should be the starter with a HUGE momentum-changing play. All my rape-artist defense has to do is hold Jeff Pisstetler down for a couple minutes.



WHAT THE SHIT DEION. To make matters worse, the Raiders get the two-point conversion so a field goal only forces overtime. It's time for Oh No Bono to do his best Joe Montana impression. I only have 1:14 and one timeout.



HAHAHAHAHA. STEVE BONO BITCHES. I LOVE THIS SHIT AND I MAY MOVE TO ENGLAND. The Raiders respond by moving the ball to my 17 with 9 seconds left. DRAMA!



And the Chiefs pull out another nailbiter. Bono seems to have kickstarted the "shot with luck 1995 Chiefs" season early.

He finishes 14-19 for 244 yards with 2 TD and 2 INT.

Allen adds 114 yards on 16 carries.