Home and Auto Cockamamie Hog Shit that Pisses You Off

'Hamas' Jenkins · 01-04-2015, 03:38 PM

I had to buy a new battery, which normally isn't such a big deal. However, when I went to pop it out at the store (to avoid the core charge) the nut on the negative terminal was rounded off and I didn't have the tools to cut it off.

I get home and let it go for a few days, because I didn't feel like ****ing with it.

Just went outside and managed to get the 10mm rounded nut off with an 11/32 socket (didn't have to use the Dremel to cut it off, fortunately), but the metal strips that secure the battery down from the top are inveterate ****ing ****s, particularly the back strip, which is secured by a foot long rod with a hooked tip.

Trying to fit that mother****er into the back slot made me feel like one of those Apple slaves that launch themselves from the top of the factory into a better life. Of course, every time you try to tighten the front screw it moves the back post and nothing short of a ****ing voodoo spell was going to get that mother****er in.

That's the part that pisses me off about car repair. The job itself is never particularly difficult, but there is always one asshole mother****er of a fastener, nut, or screw the ends up taking 20 times longer than the ****ing job itself.

Am I the only one so enraged by such stupid shit?

**Buehler445** · 01-04-2015, 03:50 PM

This is why I'm a shit mechanic. Dad is a ****ing wizard at making shit like that work.

I can make spreadsheets do amazing things, but can be brought to my knees by a ****ing fastener.

Wife's car isn't better. She has an 11 Buick Regal. I change the oil in it because I like to check things over while I'm in there (and I'm cheap). So it has an internal oil filter, which is cool. So it's got a cap on it that takes 1-1/4. No problem. I've got a socket. Mother****er it's under a bunch of shit. No problem I've got a wrench. But you can't get to it straight, and you have to run the wrench through these ****ing wiring conduits (always a good ****ing idea). So that's the best option, and you have to fight to get maybe 1/25th of a turn at a time. It takes me 8 - 10 min just to get the ****ing oil filter out. Then I have to get the bitch back on. Mother**** GM.

**chefsos** · 01-04-2015, 03:55 PM

Hell, this thread is my life. I'm generally raging and cursing and throwing things when I'm working on something, because dumb shit makes me crazy, especially when I just know it's coming. I'll try to think of an interesting example. brb

**SAUTO** · 01-04-2015, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buehler445

This is why I'm a shit mechanic. Dad is a ****ing wizard at making shit like that work.

I can make spreadsheets do amazing things, but can be brought to my knees by a ****ing fastener.

Wife's car isn't better. She has an 11 Buick Regal. I change the oil in it because I like to check things over while I'm in there (and I'm cheap). So it has an internal oil filter, which is cool. So it's got a cap on it that takes 1-1/4. No problem. I've got a socket. Mother****er it's under a bunch of shit. No problem I've got a wrench. But you can't get to it straight, and you have to run the wrench through these ****ing wiring conduits (always a good ****ing idea). So that's the best option, and you have to fight to get maybe 1/25th of a turn at a time. It takes me 8 - 10 min just to get the ****ing oil filter out. Then I have to get the bitch back on. Mother**** GM.

They sell a socket that fits those for about 7bucks. It's even made to clear that plastic intake.

http://www.autotoolworld.com/product...FSwLMgodVmAAeg

Makes it simple

**Buehler445** · 01-07-2016, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buehler445

This is why I'm a shit mechanic. Dad is a ****ing wizard at making shit like that work.

I can make spreadsheets do amazing things, but can be brought to my knees by a ****ing fastener.

Wife's car isn't better. She has an 11 Buick Regal. I change the oil in it because I like to check things over while I'm in there (and I'm cheap). So it has an internal oil filter, which is cool. So it's got a cap on it that takes 1-1/4. No problem. I've got a socket. Mother****er it's under a bunch of shit. No problem I've got a wrench. But you can't get to it straight, and you have to run the wrench through these ****ing wiring conduits (always a good ****ing idea). So that's the best option, and you have to fight to get maybe 1/25th of a turn at a time. It takes me 8 - 10 min just to get the ****ing oil filter out. Then I have to get the bitch back on. Mother**** GM.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO

They sell a socket that fits those for about 7bucks. It's even made to clear that plastic intake.

http://www.autotoolworld.com/product...FSwLMgodVmAAeg

Makes it simple

I was looking through some old pictures on my phone and remembered this thread. Everybody REP THIS MAN. Holy ****ing hell. I can get that oil filter off in about :45 now (after I find all the damn tools).

Anyway, here is the proof.

The requisite tool.

You can see a Standard 1-1/4" socket would be too blasted tall. Moreover, you can't get a goddamn extension in there because of the stupid motor mount frame. So you have to have a u-joint mother****er to get it around the corner

Who would have thought that you would need not 1 but 2 special goddamned tools to change the stupid oil.

And lookie here. Stupid Deere that I hate so much has a similar filter on their tractors and they can seem to engineer it to get a ****ing tool on there. Excellent work GM, you are stupider than Deere. Excellent work.

Anyway, send JASONSAUTO Some goddamned rep ASAP. Many thanks bud.

**SAUTO** · 01-07-2016, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buehler445

I was looking through some old pictures on my phone and remembered this thread. Everybody REP THIS MAN. Holy ****ing hell. I can get that oil filter off in about :45 now (after I find all the damn tools).

Anyway, here is the proof.

The requisite tool.

You can see a Standard 1-1/4" socket would be too blasted tall. Moreover, you can't get a goddamn extension in there because of the stupid motor mount frame. So you have to have a u-joint mother****er to get it around the corner

Who would have thought that you would need not 1 but 2 special goddamned tools to change the stupid oil.

And lookie here. Stupid Deere that I hate so much has a similar filter on their tractors and they can seem to engineer it to get a ****ing tool on there. Excellent work GM, you are stupider than Deere. Excellent work.

Anyway, send JASONSAUTO Some goddamned rep ASAP. Many thanks bud.

Lol, glad to be of service man.

Funny thing is I see this thread and even look at the date and thought it was a couple days ago, so I read you post again and typed out almost word for word the exact same response again and it hit me that I had told you about it before,

Earthling · 01-07-2016, 08:29 PM

I had a 10 min. job once of putting a rubber washer in my shower to stop a small leak. Once the handles were removed I noticed it had been dripping down the drywall behind the wall tiles. I ended up ripping the tiled walls out and at that point noticed that the floor had been getting the drip-down as well. I had to take out the tub and toilet and had to replace the sub-flooring plywood. My 10 min. job took me three or four days overall.

**Lzen** · 01-08-2016, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buehler445

This is why I'm a shit mechanic. Dad is a ****ing wizard at making shit like that work.

I can make spreadsheets do amazing things, but can be brought to my knees by a ****ing fastener.

Wife's car isn't better. She has an 11 Buick Regal. I change the oil in it because I like to check things over while I'm in there (and I'm cheap). So it has an internal oil filter, which is cool. So it's got a cap on it that takes 1-1/4. No problem. I've got a socket. Mother****er it's under a bunch of shit. No problem I've got a wrench. But you can't get to it straight, and you have to run the wrench through these ****ing wiring conduits (always a good ****ing idea). So that's the best option, and you have to fight to get maybe 1/25th of a turn at a time. It takes me 8 - 10 min just to get the ****ing oil filter out. Then I have to get the bitch back on. Mother**** GM.

I'm pretty sure GM engineers smoke a lot of weed.

**TribalElder** · 01-04-2015, 03:52 PM

I recently replaced my battery but the minions at war mart do the install for free

It was the best deal on a battery after looking around at different brands so **** it

**bevischief** · 01-06-2015, 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TribalElder

I recently replaced my battery but the minions at war mart do the install for free

It was the best deal on a battery after looking around at different brands so **** it

war mart?

**loochy** · 01-06-2015, 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bevischief

war mart?

I didn't know that dick cheney opened a line of retail stores.

**Buehler445** · 01-06-2015, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bevischief

war mart?

I'm going to start shopping there.

**Rain Man** · 01-04-2015, 03:53 PM

Screws and bolts are why I work in an office.

**BigMeatballDave** · 01-04-2015, 03:55 PM

Vise grips. Use them. I've had to several times over the years when this happens.

**Buehler445** · 01-04-2015, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marcellus

Pretty much everything that has to do with plumbing.

Need a new faucet? Get ready for 43 trips to the hardware store because nothing you had works with the new faucet even if they look identical.

Changing out a dishwasher? May as well buy a new house.

**** plumbing. Right in the tooth.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigMeatballDave

Vise grips. Use them. I've had to several times over the years when this happens.

Every time I use them, the fastener is then done. If I did it on battery cables I'd never get it tight again, I'd just have to buy a new end.

01-04-2015, 03:38 PM	Topic Starter
'Hamas' Jenkins Now you've pissed me off! Join Date: Jan 2006 Casino cash: $8009572	Cockamamie Hog Shit that Pisses You Off I had to buy a new battery, which normally isn't such a big deal. However, when I went to pop it out at the store (to avoid the core charge) the nut on the negative terminal was rounded off and I didn't have the tools to cut it off. I get home and let it go for a few days, because I didn't feel like **ing with it. Just went outside and managed to get the 10mm rounded nut off with an 11/32 socket (didn't have to use the Dremel to cut it off, fortunately), but the metal strips that secure the battery down from the top are inveterate ing s, particularly the back strip, which is secured by a foot long rod with a hooked tip. Trying to fit that motherer into the back slot made me feel like one of those Apple slaves that launch themselves from the top of the factory into a better life. Of course, every time you try to tighten the front screw it moves the back post and nothing short of a ing voodoo spell was going to get that motherer in. That's the part that pisses me off about car repair. The job itself is never particularly difficult, but there is always one asshole motherer of a fastener, nut, or screw the ends up taking 20 times longer than the **ing job itself. Am I the only one so enraged by such stupid shit?
Posts: 74,826

01-04-2015, 03:50 PM	#2
Buehler445 Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Scott City KS Casino cash: $2294734	This is why I'm a shit mechanic. Dad is a **ing wizard at making shit like that work. I can make spreadsheets do amazing things, but can be brought to my knees by a ing fastener. Wife's car isn't better. She has an 11 Buick Regal. I change the oil in it because I like to check things over while I'm in there (and I'm cheap). So it has an internal oil filter, which is cool. So it's got a cap on it that takes 1-1/4. No problem. I've got a socket. Motherer it's under a bunch of shit. No problem I've got a wrench. But you can't get to it straight, and you have to run the wrench through these ing wiring conduits (always a good ing idea). So that's the best option, and you have to fight to get maybe 1/25th of a turn at a time. It takes me 8 - 10 min just to get the ing oil filter out. Then I have to get the bitch back on. Mother** GM.
Posts: 56,790

01-04-2015, 03:55 PM	#3
chefsos Fifty eight sixty two... Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Felton, DE Casino cash: $8497676	Hell, this thread is my life. I'm generally raging and cursing and throwing things when I'm working on something, because dumb shit makes me crazy, especially when I just know it's coming. I'll try to think of an interesting example. brb
Posts: 9,449

01-07-2016, 08:29 PM	#7
Earthling MVP Join Date: Apr 2001 Casino cash: $10008447	I had a 10 min. job once of putting a rubber washer in my shower to stop a small leak. Once the handles were removed I noticed it had been dripping down the drywall behind the wall tiles. I ended up ripping the tiled walls out and at that point noticed that the floor had been getting the drip-down as well. I had to take out the tub and toilet and had to replace the sub-flooring plywood. My 10 min. job took me three or four days overall. __________________ AND SOMETIMES IT'S NOT SO EASY ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR ONLY FRIEND TALKS SEES LOOKS AND FEELS LIKE YOU AND YOU DO JUST THE SAME AS HIM -Jiimi Hendrix
Posts: 5,995

01-04-2015, 03:52 PM	#9
TribalElder Arrowhead Trail of Tears Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: KansasCity Casino cash: $2390441	I recently replaced my battery but the minions at war mart do the install for free It was the best deal on a battery after looking around at different brands so **** it
Posts: 29,162

01-04-2015, 03:53 PM	#13
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3298491 VARSITY	Screws and bolts are why I work in an office. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,448

01-04-2015, 03:55 PM	#14
BigMeatballDave GBM 8-12-15 Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Dayton, Oh. Casino cash: $10052154	Vise grips. Use them. I've had to several times over the years when this happens.
Posts: 59,997