Poo Light Special at Kmart

[cosmo20002]

Maybe Wal-Mart isn't so bad...


Cops: Woman Pooped Inside Box At Kmart


APRIL 1--A Wisconsin woman who went to Kmart to return merchandise left behind a repulsive surprise for workers, according to police.

Melissa Jacobson, 49, was busted Monday night after she allegedly slipped behind a cash register at the Racine business and urinated and defecated in a box full of store security tags.

At the time of her arrest, Jacobson was wearing a shirt with a picture of a dump truck and the phrase “Dropping A Load,” a cop noted.

Alerted by a “funky” odor, an unfortunate Kmart employee discovered the soiled cardboard box, which was leaking urine, according to a misdemeanor criminal complaint filed yesterday against Jacobson.

A review of store security footage revealed that Jacobson (seen above) entered the business Monday morning and approached the customer service desk, where she sought to return merchandise.

As detailed in the complaint, Jacobson is seen walking to Aisle #1, where she “loosened her pants and squatted down” near the cash register. After a minute, Jacobson “is seen reaching for paper towels beneath the counter. When Jacobson was finished, she is seen approaching the customer service desk again.”

The complaint does not indicate why Jacobson decided to defecate in the box (especially since the store bathrooms were 50 feet away). A Kmart worker told cops that Jacobson was a regular customer, “so she should know where the public restrooms are located.”

After returning to the Kmart customer service desk, Jacobson completed her return and exited the retailer.

Thanks to the return paperwork, police were able to identify Jacobson as the woman seen in the surveillance video. When confronted at her residence, Jacobson denied relieving herself at Kmart. A cop noted that Jacobson, however, was wearing the same color sneakers and pants as the perpetrator seen in the store video. Also, when asked what jacket she was wearing inside Kmart, Jacobson showed an officer "the same jacket that he observed in the video."

Jacobson was charged with disorderly conduct and two counts of resisting or obstructing an officer, according to Circuit Court records. Jacobson, a Racine resident, is free on $500 bond and is scheduled for an April 30 pre-trial conference.

As part of her bond conditions, Jacobson has been ordered to have “No contact with victim store, Kmart.”

[cosmo20002]

Ah, shit....Q

My thread title is better though.

[threebag]

So far with your vote it's 1 for you and 1 for George.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

We found who sired Bambi and Bitch?

[KCFalcon59]

Poo Q!

[alpha_omega]

Ha, Q Light Special.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Originally Posted by alpha_omega

Ha, Q Light Special.

Damn you!!

(Beat me to it.)