How do you handle the death of a loved one?

[TLO]

Hey everyone.

My grandmother is quite ill, and I believe we're all at the stage where we know the time for her to be taken from this life has come. The only question that remains is for how much longer will we have her?

I've never had a close family member die before - and I'm fearful for how things will go for my family and I when she does go.

Suggestions. How you handled similar situations. All would be most beneficial.

Thank you everyone

[DaFace]

I don't think there is any one answer. Cherish the time you have left. Once she's gone, celebrate her life. Take solace in the fact that she made it as far as she did and presumably had a full life.

You're allowed to be sad. You're allowed to grieve. Things will get easier as time goes on.

But overall, just hang in there. It's a part of life and, sadly, it gets easier with experience.

[Iowanian]

You just do.

Make the most of your remaining time. Focus on the good things.

Usually I just stay busy.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

30 pack , guzzle .

[TimBone]

Sorry to hear it, Smoke. Daface and Iowanian gave good advice. Also, I might recommend writing down and storing memories you have of her right now, while they are strong in your mind. That way, if they fade as time moves on, you can't read the notes you saved and live them in your mind again.

[mikeyis4dcats.]

My grandmother was relatively easy, she was elderly and had been in bad health.

My brother was suicide and relatively out of the blue, it has been 5 years and I still have dreams sometimes and get choked up about it sometimes.

[Frazod]

I was closer to my maternal grandmother than anybody else in my life. Her death was tough, although she had suffered from dementia for years and by the time she passed it was a blessing that the ordeal was over. I finally got the point where I couldn't go see her - the last time I did, she had no idea who or even what I was and sat there playing with a doll babbling like a toddler. There had been at least a spark of recognition prior to that, but it was gone. I remember I walked out of the nursing home, sat in my car and cried like a little girl. Compared to that, the funeral was a piece of cake.

Just try to be strong for those around you who can't. There are no easy answers.

Good luck to you and your family getting through it.

[Red Dawg]

When I was young I lost two close friends at the same time. I've also buried my mother and lost a few other friends. You get over it when you get over it. No magic time time table and no magic cure. Everyone is different.

[Fish]

Everyone is different. And sometimes, that can even be an awkward or uncomfortable thing. Some people use humor, which others find infuriating. Some want to be alone, while others require companionship. Play it by ear...

[CaliforniaChief]

I'll add a few things.

1. There are signs in the dying process, but everything moves differently with everyone. Don't try to be there at the "right time", just be there as much as you can.

2. Tell her what she means to you. Tell stories. Talk about your life. Talk about anything. Even when or if she goes into a non-responsive rate, scientists tend to believe based on brain waves that people are still very much perceiving what's going on around them.

3. I don't know if this applies to you, but my faith has played a huge part in grieving and going through this. I've found great strength in God's presence and the knowledge that He's with me.

Praying for you!

[Hammock Parties]

My first set of grandparents were pretty old when they passed away so I was pretty well prepared. Didn't bother me much.

The same with the second set, who are still alive, but I'm much closer to them, so I think I'll be a wreck.

[dirk digler]

Big Smoke I am very sorry for you and your family. I had lost several family members prior but when my maternal grandma passed it was very very hard for me. She was basically my 2nd mom and I told her everything and she was always there for me. She lived a long life, 95, but it still didn't make it easy.

I also understand what you mean about being fearful for your family. My grandma was the glue of that side of the family. She kept everybody close and had gatherings etc and I knew that when she was gone everybody would go their separate ways and that is exactly what happened.

But just so you know, it does get easier with each passing day. My mom passed 3 years ago and my dad is getting close and then that will be it. It will be rough for awhile but does get easier with time.

[kcxiv]

day by day! There is nothing you can do, its going to suck for a long long time. i lost my sister 4 years ago. You dont really recover you just learn to deal with it. It doesnt get easier.

She was like my 2nd mom. I needed anything i could count on her 100 percent. She was basically the 2nd person in this life that i would trust with anything number 1 being my actual mother.

It just sucks man! You will get through it though.

[Frazod]

I also hope you don't have any asshole family members to deal with. When my cousin died a couple of years ago, there was a small group of people seated in the front of the chapel during the visitation, not ten feet from the body, cackling and carrying on like they were drinking at a bar. Among them were my aunt, who was also the dead girl's aunt, and my own wicked stepmother. It absolutely infuriated me. Nothing my asshole stepmother does surprises me, but for my aunt to do that, while her sister sat a few feet away quietly sobbing by herself looking at her daughter's body..... ****. It's your niece's funeral, you rotten old bitch - have a little respect.

God I hate that side of my family. And I have to endure them all again at a wedding in June. But unfortunately the only one left that I actually like is the one getting married.

[Demonpenz]

You don't know how you will feel, don't be surprised if you laugh at weird times and sad at happy times. When people die you really get to see the outside world doesn't dictate our emotions, it's the way we approach the outside world. If you look at loved ones as "they ae gone, let's say goodbye to grandma" well you are going to have a sense of loss. If you approach it like "Her physical body is not alive but her conscience or soul is still here" or something like that it makes the grief a bit bearable. If you are real scholar you could journal about it and that way when death comes to the next person you won't have fear weighing you down. Also if you want to cry shout whatever do it man. You have a right to express what you are feeling **** those pussies fronting like they are hard. You know everyone hurts at some point.