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Reload this Page Other Sports Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 15 - Pablo versus Pestilence
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View Poll Results: Who wins?
Pablo 32 58.18%
Pestilence 23 41.82%
Voters: 55. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-07-2018, 08:41 PM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 15 - Pablo versus Pestilence
Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is.

Venue - In a strip club (normal crowd present)
Starting Distance - 68 feet

Pablo

Main Weapon - Baseball Bat with six nails studded into it
Backup Weapon - Bowie knife

Prep Time - 13 Minutes
Special Factors - An angry trained pit bull is on a leash that is welded to your non-weapon wrist

Pestilence

Main Weapon - Two Handed Sword
Backup Weapon - Bullwhip

Prep Time - 11 Minutes
Special Factors - An unreachable 8 year-old kid 50 feet away will shoot you with a BB gun every 60 seconds, starting at t=0.
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Old 07-07-2018, 09:35 PM   #16
Bowser Bowser is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pablo View Post
He's ****ed. He had better land a killshot on the dog the first swing and hope I don't connect with a bat to the temple as he does it. Even if he only gravely injures the pit bull with his first swing it will still have enough power and fight in it to really **** up his day.

He's dead. I take the money out of his wallet and then take sloppy stripper head over his disfigured corpse.
That little bastard with the BB gun is going to bury one in your dickhole. Better sic Cujo on his ass as soon as you're done going Tony Gwynn on Pest. Give the dog something to do while Destiny takes your temperature.
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Old 07-07-2018, 11:09 PM   #17
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I think Pest here. The sword has longer reach than the bat. One swift swing to the head of the dog, jump back and stab Pablo. The whole thing is over in 45 seconds rendering the kid irrelevant
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Old 07-08-2018, 12:48 AM   #18
TimBone TimBone is offline
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Originally Posted by Why Not? View Post
I think Pest here. The sword has longer reach than the bat. One swift swing to the head of the dog, jump back and stab Pablo. The whole thing is over in 45 seconds rendering the kid irrelevant
No ****ing way. I like Pest, but you've gotta be pretty proficient with a two handed sword to pull off a move that smooth.

Pest, how skilled are you with a big was sword?
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Old 07-08-2018, 09:09 AM   #19
Buehler445 Buehler445 is offline
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Originally Posted by TimBone View Post
No ****ing way. I like Pest, but you've gotta be pretty proficient with a two handed sword to pull off a move that smooth.

Pest, how skilled are you with a big was sword?
It shouldn't be too tough of a maneuver. Pablo wouldn't be able to charge very hard because of the dog. Sure he could close some ground, but Pest should be able to keep the distance he needs because he's unencumbered.

Even if he just wounds the dog, should be fine because the pair won't get any faster.

If it's a respectable sword the balance should be good enough to do the hacking without any trouble. I watched some interesting videos from scholagladiatoria (link) about how swords are made for speed and aren't some lumbering heavy ass weapon. With the serious length advantage it should work. Like I said, it will take some respectable footwork, but I like Pest here.
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Old 07-08-2018, 11:26 AM   #20
The Franchise The Franchise is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TimBone View Post
No ****ing way. I like Pest, but you've gotta be pretty proficient with a two handed sword to pull off a move that smooth.

Pest, how skilled are you with a big was sword?
I was a huge nerd back in the day and used to have sword fights with my friends. ****ing truth.
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Old 07-08-2018, 11:43 AM   #21
The Franchise The Franchise is offline
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There’s a normal crowd of people in the strip club which means Pablo and his dog have to maneuver all of that.
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Old 07-08-2018, 11:54 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pablo View Post
He's ****ed. He had better land a killshot on the dog the first swing and hope I don't connect with a bat to the temple as he does it. Even if he only gravely injures the pit bull with his first swing it will still have enough power and fight in it to really **** up his day.

He's dead. I take the money out of his wallet and then take sloppy stripper head over his disfigured corpse.
Does the dog (assuming it survived) get to watch??
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Old 07-08-2018, 03:15 PM   #23
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The dog is dead. Pest could hold the damn sword straight out and kill that thing as it charges, pulling Pablo along for the ride. Good luck swinging that bat one handed with a ****ig dog dragging you around and jerking on your arm. BB gun kid is irrelevant. Pablo doesn’t have enough balance for this.

Pest’s Only disadvantage is his tiny soft non flexible baby fists.
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Old 07-08-2018, 03:21 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cave Johnson View Post
Does the dog (assuming it survived) get to watch??
If the dog survives, it would spend all of its extra time sniffing crotches.
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Old 07-08-2018, 03:28 PM   #25
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Pest throws his wife to the dog and lands a clean swipe on Pablo.
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Rudy tossed tigger's salad would the whole thing.Rudy tossed tigger's salad would the whole thing.Rudy tossed tigger's salad would the whole thing.Rudy tossed tigger's salad would the whole thing.Rudy tossed tigger's salad would the whole thing.Rudy tossed tigger's salad would the whole thing.Rudy tossed tigger's salad would the whole thing.Rudy tossed tigger's salad would the whole thing.Rudy tossed tigger's salad would the whole thing.Rudy tossed tigger's salad would the whole thing.Rudy tossed tigger's salad would the whole thing.
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Old 07-08-2018, 03:29 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rudy tossed tigger's salad View Post
Pest throws his wife to the dog and lands a clean swipe on Pablo.
You think he's bringing his wife to a strip club?
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Old 07-08-2018, 04:27 PM   #27
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Gotta go with Pablo. He seems to have the advantage between the dog, and the kid shooting Pest (who the **** brought an 8 year old to a strip club btw). Also the lighter weapon will help. Gotta take Pablo!
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Old 07-08-2018, 04:44 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cave Johnson View Post
Does the dog (assuming it survived) get to watch??
He feasts on innards as the stripper feasts on my innards.
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Old 07-08-2018, 06:55 PM   #29
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You think he's bringing his wife to a strip club?
Maybe she works there.
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Old 07-09-2018, 12:26 AM   #30
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You people need to walk a dog sometime. Especially one that wants to ****ing kill something. No way you could win a fight with a dog chained to you. Pestilence losing is a crime.
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