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Old 06-25-2015, 07:53 PM  
Saccopoo Saccopoo is offline
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Hey Hootie!! I need some relationship advice!
Hoots, I'm going to lay out a situation. Tell me what you'd do.

It's been about 2.5 years since I've been laid. Basically because I don't care. Animals screw. It's just a base physical act that tends to complicate things in general. And I know. I've been laid plenty prior.

However, this past week, some of my co-workers and myself went out for some drinks to blow off some steam after a brutal couple of weeks and I proceeded to get pretty freaking drunk. Subsequently, I was told my no less than three girls that night that they had crushes on me. Probably something you don't want to tell a guy who hasn't been laid in two and a half years who's been drinking hard for four hours. Anyway, I now have naked pictures on my phone of four women (aged 19, 23, 38, 47) and I kinda made out that night with another one who is best friends with the 38 year old who is dating one of my good friends. (Who has subsequently asked me if I wanted to take her swimming while her boyfriend was at work.)

Also, I might or might not have had sex with the 23 year old in the back seat of a guys car who was the designated driver that night while he was driving us home.

So, what would you do in such a situation? I ask you because I'm looking for some solid, objective advice versus some horrible moralistic bullshit that I know I'm going to get from some of the other dudes around here. And it sounds like a situation you would have put yourself in at one time or another. Help me out bro.
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Old 06-25-2015, 08:09 PM   #16
The Franchise The Franchise is offline
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Old 06-25-2015, 08:10 PM   #17
The Franchise The Franchise is offline
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Oh and worthless without said pics.
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Old 06-25-2015, 08:11 PM   #18
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Old 06-25-2015, 08:13 PM   #19
Kman34 Kman34 is offline
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Will need to see those naked pics before any advice can be given....
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Old 06-25-2015, 08:16 PM   #20
lewdog lewdog is offline
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I'm surprised the scent of a vegan pussy didn't throw them off.
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Old 06-25-2015, 08:18 PM   #21
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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This is just ****ing weird, man.

Even I get laid once in 2.5 years.
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Old 06-25-2015, 08:20 PM   #22
loochy loochy is offline
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Don't be jealous of the hot streak bro

Besides, we could be talking about a quartet of 4's here! You just don't know!
Oh, hell, I'd be excited too. I just find it odd that he says he doesn't want anyone's advice but then starts a thread about it.

And how do you not get laid in 2 years? That should just happen by accident at a minimum.
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Old 06-25-2015, 08:22 PM   #23
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Will need to see those naked pics before any advice can be given....






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Old 06-25-2015, 08:23 PM   #24
Bowser Bowser is offline
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I'm surprised the scent of a vegan pussy didn't throw them off.


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Hootie's ween, btw
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Old 06-25-2015, 08:24 PM   #25
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Hootie's ween, btw
Flaccid and burning from the herp?
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Old 06-25-2015, 08:25 PM   #26
lewdog lewdog is offline
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Hootie's ween, btw
They now make condoms that change color if there is an STD present during intercourse. I say we use part of CPs donation for the server and buy him a few boxes. He can report back on how long it takes him to make a condom set that covers the colors of the rainbow.
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Old 06-25-2015, 08:30 PM   #27
Hootie Hootie is offline
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They now make condoms that change color if there is an STD present during intercourse. I say we use part of CPs donation for the server and buy him a few boxes. He can report back on how long it takes him to make a condom set that covers the colors of the rainbow.
You think I use condoms?
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Old 06-25-2015, 08:32 PM   #28
Bowser Bowser is offline
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Flaccid and burning from the herp?
Herparrheaphlyis. And you can see the burning crabs jumping to their death, as well.
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Old 06-25-2015, 08:33 PM   #29
Saccopoo Saccopoo is offline
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You think I use condoms?
That's why I asked you specifically.

You're my boy Hootie.
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Old 06-25-2015, 08:39 PM   #30
Saccopoo Saccopoo is offline
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This is just ****ing weird, man.

Even I get laid once in 2.5 years.
Actually, before that I had a five year abstinence streak going. A similar thing happened and I hit a hot streak with dating three girls at the same time to bust that one.

It's just how it happens with me. Miles and miles of desert and then an oasis pops up that has unlimited Mai Tai's served by topless waitresses.

So, Hootie, why dump the older two of the four ladies? Both are pretty attractive. I'm sure you won't be able to bounce a dime off their ass like you can with the 19 and 23 year old, but shit man, as long as I'm slumpbusting I was thinking that I should just go for broke. I'm even thinking about banging my friends chick as well. Great cans.
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