This Week's Important Florida News!

[gblowfish]

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.

[notorious]

Originally Posted by displacedinMN

[Rausch]

Originally Posted by notorious

Opossum doesn't care. Opossum doesn't give a shit......


GB

Laugh all you want but a drunk/rabid Opossum is a creature to be feared.

[gblowfish]

Who wants BBQ? What's that dry rub you're using???

https://thetakeout.com/florida-man-a...ibs-1822006145

Martin County Sheriff’s deputies arrested Maeli Aguilar-Alvarez, of Indiantown, Florida, in mid-December for shoplifting “a full rack of ribs,” two packs of hamburger buns, nine pieces of fried chicken and an unspecified quantity of mashed potatoes from a grocery store, the TC Palm uncovered earlier this week.

Law enforcement spotted the culprit when he removed the aforementioned ribs from his pants just outside the Rines Market IGA. Police charged the alleged thief with retail theft of the groceries valued at $32.49.

Although only the ribs were cited as inside his trousers, it begs the question: What spectacular pair of pants could fit a full rack of ribs, two packs of hamburger buns, nine pieces of fried chicken and an unspecified quantity of mashed potatoes? Can we purchase this at REI? Furthermore, where is the best placement for ribs inside your pants? Front or back?

Aguilar-Alvarez reportedly smelled of alcohol. His pants, we would presume, smelled far more delicious.

[cabletech94]

https://www.facebook.com/topic/Silve...uI7I6KnbYo6fVs

i almost posted this in the lounge. good thing i looked up what state it was.
quick link: dont efffing touch monkies you knobs!

[displacedinMN]

BOYNTON BEACH, Fla. — A fourth person has died in Florida after being struck by a new high-speed train.

Boynton Beach police spokeswoman Stephanie Slater Police said Wednesday the train struck a bicyclist. No other details were released.

Just days earlier, as the new Brightline train was offering preview runs before its debut, it struck and killed a 32-year-old woman who was crossing the tracks. Witnesses told police the woman tried to make it across after the guard rails were down, attempting to beat the train.

The Brightline train began its service Saturday running between Fort Lauderdale and West Palm Beach. It will expand to take passengers from Miami to Orlando.

A woman was struck in July in Boca Raton in an apparent suicide, and another woman was hit in Deerfield Beach.

[displacedinMN]

Meet the Florida woman who wants to marry Tetris
Amazing This morning
Noorul Mahjabeen Hassan appeared on This Morning and said she had previously been in a relationship with a calculator



the thread that keeps on giving

[displacedinMN]

TALLAHASSEE, Florida - Daylight Saving Time may soon be abolished in the Sunshine State if Florida lawmakers pass proposed legislation to put an end to the practice of setting clocks back and forward every six months.

Florida House Bill 1013 and its companion Florida Senate Bill 858 both passed committees and will now move to a vote before the entire legislative branches.

Unlike northern states in the continental U.S. that only experience around 9 hours of daylight during the shortest days of Winter, Florida has over 10 hours of daylight during the shortest day of the year - the Winter Solstice.


If the bills pass both legislative branches and Governor Rick Scott signs 'The Sunshine Protection Act' into law, Florida would then ask the U.S. Congress for an exemption to Daylight Savings Time, which has already been granted to the sunny states Arizona and Hawaii.

History of Daylight Saving Time

Daylight Savings Time started in Europe during World War I as a way to economize fuel usage. The United States started Daylight Savings Time a year after WWI ended in 1918.

Benjamin Franklin did not propose Daylight Saving Time. This misconception grew out of the proverb "Early to bed, and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise" that was published in Franklin's Poor Richards' Almanac.

How to Correctly Spell and Say Daylight Saving Time

Is it "Daylight Savings Time" or "Daylight Saving Time"? The correct term is without the "s" but the added "s" has become widely used in the United States.

Daylight Saving Time Bad For Your Health

Losing an hour of sleep is bad for your health, studies find. The overall rate for stroke was 8% higher and heart attacks 10% higher in the days following the daylight saving time change.

[notorious]

Florida is doing something right.


I would love it if Kansas gave me back an extra hour of daylight in the evenings during winter.

[BigRedChief]

https://www.reddit.com/r/thalassopho...YK&sh=6bd6a3ac

[eDave]

Lana Del Rey Kidnapping Attempt Thwarted by Orlando Police

Mike Hunt, 43, of Riverview, Florida, was arrested by Orlando Police Department officers just feet away from the Amway Center where the singer (real name Elizabeth Grant) was playing a show Friday night. Hunt was in possession of a knife and tickets to a show but, according to police, was never able to make it inside the venue or in contact with the singer.



https://www.thewrap.com/lana-del-rey...rlando-police/

[gblowfish]

Freshly Squeezed Florida News:
http://kfor.com/2018/03/07/truck-spi...source=twitter

OKALOOSA COUNTY, Fla. – It wasn’t happy hour, but the beer was flowing on an interstate in Florida.

A South Carolina truck driver was carrying 60,000 pounds of Busch beer on Interstate 10 in Okaloosa County, Florida, early Wednesday morning when the accident happened. According to WEAR, he traveled outside of his lane, causing the truck to overturn onto its passenger side, spilling his cargo.

The driver, 44-year-old Michael Nolan Powell, sustained minor injuries in the crash and was cited for careless driving.

No other injuries were reported.

[gblowfish]

TAMPA, Fla. —

A woman who visited Hamburger Mary’s in Tampa is suing the establishment for $1.5 million after, she said, she was injured by a drag queen’s breast.

According to the complaint, Neldin Molina said she was with other guests and family members at the restaurant for dinner in May of 2015 to celebrate a friend’s birthday.

The suit said Molina was unaware of the drag queen show until music began playing and she heard someone at another table mention the show, the complaint said.

Molina, sitting with her back to the table, watched the show before turning back around and continuing to eat and socialize with her friends.

When Molina turned around again, she said performer Amanda D’Hod pointed at her and began to walk toward her table. In the complaint, Molina said she turned back around, not wishing to draw attention to herself.

Amanda D’Hod, the complaint alleges, touched Molina’s shoulder and then walked in front of her and grabbed her head. The complaint said the performer then “wiggled her breast against the Plaintiff’s face and head eight times.”

The performer allegedly grabbed Molina’s face and pushed it and shook it several times before pounding it against D’Hod’s chest violently.

The complaint said Molina began to experience a headache and neck pain and told the manager what had happened.

Molina later went to the emergency room at Memorial Hospital of Tampa for cervical pain and uncontrollable headaches, the complaint said.

Molina is seeking $1.5 million for medical costs and expenses for the past, present and future, as well as for pain she suffered physically and mentally. The complaint also states that the restaurant failed to advise anyone of possible danger.

http://www.kmbc.com/article/woman-al...llion/19297560

[notorious]

Nightclub Shuts Down After Woman and Midget Ride Horse Into Crowd Of Partygoers

The city of Miami Beach shut down a nightclub on Friday after video surfaced showing a woman in a bikini riding a spooked horse into a crowd of people.

The incident happened at the Mokai Lounge sometime between Wednesday evening and the early morning hours of Thursday, according to a city document obtained by HuffPost.

Attendees at the event recorded the commotion and posted footage to social media. One video showed a man trying to pull the seemingly resistant horse into the club as a man and woman ride on top of the animal. A second video shows the woman on the horse amid a tightly packed crowd of people. The horse throws the woman off before slowly walking through the crowd as people cheer.

City Manager Jimmy Morales revoked the club’s business license on Friday, The Miami Herald reports. A city press release cites the incident as being a hazard to public safety and possible animal cruelty.

The woman seen in the video “appeared to be an employee from the club, but that’s still under investigation,” Miami Beach spokeswoman Melissa Berthier told HuffPost.

The Miami Beach Police tweeted on Friday that authorities had found the horse seen in the video and that the it was “deemed to be healthy and safe.”

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/nigh...214856785.html

[eDave]

On a more serious note:

FIU pedestrian bridge collapses days after installation; people, cars trapped underneath. Several fatalities.

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/loca...205316174.html

[Baby Lee]

Originally Posted by eDave

On a more serious note:

FIU pedestrian bridge collapses days after installation; people, cars trapped underneath. Several fatalities.

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/loca...205316174.html

They were stress testing?

Over live traffic?

Before the central tension suspension installed?

WTF?!?!