Hypothetical: Serving as a Prison Proxy

[Rain Man]

In the Civil War, a rich person who was drafted into the Army could pay someone else to serve for him as a "substitute". One would think that this was a popular program among wealthy people.

In a hypothetical situation, assume that a scandal occurs in Congress of epic proportions. It appears that 52 Senators are about to go to prison for selling their votes to fund a new program to build a hypersonic stagecoach.

In a late-night voting session, the Senate and House approve a bill that allows people to pay someone else to serve time for them in prison. The final Senate vote was 52 to 48 to approve it.

You are approached by a wealthy business owner from your state by the name of Hiram Higginbotham. Mr. Higginbotham is willing to pay you to serve a one-year prison term that he got due to inciting a brawl in a wine and cheese bar.

You don't know the exact prison you'd be going to, but you can generally assume that it is a state prison with the following attributes:

1. You'll share a cell with one random prisoner.

2. 10 percent of prisoners are violent criminals, 10 percent are gang members, and 80 percent are nonviolent.

3. You'll be in your cell for 14 hours a day, working for 6, in a big group room for another 2, then 1 hour for meals and 1 hour outside.

4. You will have "wake up" and "lights out" at specified times.

5. Your work will likely involve cleaning stuff, working in the prison laundry, working in the prison cafeteria, or work of a similar nature. You'll earn roughly 28 cents an hour that will go into your prison commissary account.

6. You can be visited by your immediate family (spouse, kids, parents, etc.) and by an attorney or other advocate.

7. The cost of your room and board is, of course, provided by the state.

You will be allowed to tell anyone you wish - inside or outside prison - that you are there as a "substitute" and it will not appear on your criminal record. Assume that society views serving as a "substitute" to be a relatively low-class activity, but recognizes that it's not like being a felon or anything.


What's the lowest amount that you would take to serve Mr. Higginbotham's sentence?

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by BucEyedPea

Sounds like a decent deal. Think of all that reading, graphics and artwork I could do for myself. I'd so it for $2 million. Then start a business mass producing some of my work when I got out. Plus no bills for the year while in. Oh well maybe for art materials.

That's something I've never been clear on. If I go to prison, can I have note pads and writing implements to write a book? Can I bring books to read? Or do I have to stare at walls and give myself homemade tattoos all day? I'm not sure what's allowed.