Tip for Job Seekers

[Rain Man]

Show up at your freakin' interview on time. Seriously. If you show up 45 minutes late to a JOB INTERVIEW, it makes a BAD IMPRESSION. I don't care if you missed your bus or overslept or had other things going on. I don't care at all.

There are no excuses for being late to a job interview. Zero. If you were pulling people out of a burning car en route to the interview, that's great and I commend you for it, but it only takes three minutes to pull people out of a burning car. You should have planned ahead to be within sight of the interview location an hour before your interview. You should still be on time, but with a slight aroma of burning rubber and a great story for me.

I guess possibly if you were on your way to an interview in Holland and you saw a dam breaking, and you put your finger in the dam, and it then took an hour for the dam repairers to show up, then that might be a feasible excuse since you saved countless lives. But I'd still want to see it on the news that evening, and I'd want to know that there were no other people around who could have switched fingers with you.

Here's how you go to a job interview:

1. Drive to the interview with plans to be there an hour early.
2. Walk to the front door of the place an hour early just to be sure you know where it is.
3. Go to the nearest coffee shop and check out the company's web site and come up with some good questions and talking points.
4. Show up 10 minutes early.

Sheesh. Humanity amazes me sometimes.

[Eleazar]

Other great stuff not to do is trashing your current boss or employer, asking about how much time off you get.

Criticizing our choice of vendors or the way we do things when you know nothing about the reasoning, or telling us all about everything you want to change as soon as you walk in is irritating. You need to have a certain humility about you.. that humility being knowing that you don't know everything.

[kc rush]

I just had someone show up a day early for a position I am filling. I'm a bit torn since they are qualified, personable and had a great interview (when we did it on the proper day). But this is a detail oriented job and they put things on their calendar wrong.

[Mennonite]

Originally Posted by kc rush

I just had someone show up a day early for a position I am filling. I'm a bit torn since they are qualified, personable and had a great interview (when we did it on the proper day). But this is a detail oriented job and they put things on their calendar wrong.

****in' time zones.

[TribalElder]

Calendars ... How do they work

[Mennonite]

"Oh, a Gregorian calendar...my bad. Your secretary didn't say anything about that."

[cosmo20002]

Get a new e-mail address.
Don't use hornyguy69@yahoo.com in your contact info.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by cosmo20002

Get a new e-mail address.
Don't use hornyguy69@yahoo.com in your contact info.

I had a female job applicant do something like that once. she didn't make it to the interview round, but I was intrigued.

[kc rush]

Only apply for the job you are qualified for if there are multiple openings if you want to be taken seriously.

We have three openings, one entry level, one with 1-2 years experience with a specific skill set and one with 8+ years and a proven track record.

I had some guy 4 years out of college with no relevant experience ask to be considered for all three positions.

[Psyko Tek]

Originally Posted by Pestilence

I love that shit.

Me: What software do you have experience with and what level of proficiency are you at?

Interviewee: I know Microsoft Office.

Me: And?

Interviewee: Oh, I know Outlook, Word and Excel.

Me:

my resume proudly states that I remember DOS
life is to short and I am too much of an asshole not to **** with people

[rockymtnchief]

Keep the humor on the legal side.

My job came down to me and one other guy. He was more qualified than me, but took his humor a little too far. We were both asked what we would do if the company gave us $2000. It was December, so I said I'd spoil my kids for Christmas. His reply was, "Buy a brick of cocaine".

Not a good answer for a job taking care of expensive equipment.

[Jiu Jitsu Jon]

Originally Posted by Psyko Tek

my resume proudly states that I remember DOS
life is to short and I am too much of an asshole not to **** with people

Do they even teach BASIC anymore? I like to get my GOTOs and my A$ on every so often.

[Valiant]

Originally Posted by KC native

Yes, don't be late.

But as someone who has had a disproportionate share of bullshit interviews.

Don't bring me in for an interview if:

1. You've already offered someone else the position. (had an interview that within 15 minutes of leaving, I received a call stating that they were surprised at how well I did in the interview but they had already offered the position to someone else and they had accepted that day).

2. Have zero intention of hiring me. I get it. I have a Hispanic surname. Even if I decline to self identify (which I do), it makes it easy for you to check the EEOC boxes. I've had at least 6-7 interviews where the interviewer has never seen my resume before I walked into the room. I've also been told more than once, "You know when you look at a resume and you get a mental picture of what that person looks like, well you're not what I pictured walking through the door. Those are the fun ones because I killed those interviews.

Blood in, blood out is one of my favorite movies. It is like Oz, stole the movie for their series.

[Valiant]

Originally Posted by kc rush

Only apply for the job you are qualified for if there are multiple openings if you want to be taken seriously.

We have three openings, one entry level, one with 1-2 years experience with a specific skill set and one with 8+ years and a proven track record.

I had some guy 4 years out of college with no relevant experience ask to be considered for all three positions.

Meh, you can either do the job or you cannot. My friend applied for a job, no experience out of college at Cerner. They accidentally gave him the wrong job, not the entry level one. Noticed it after a year, saw that he was excelling, kept him there with a huge pay raise.

[Rasputin]

Originally Posted by Jiu Jitsu Jon

Do they even teach BASIC anymore? I like to get my GOTOs and my A$ on every so often.

I think this signature exceeds the proper amount of signature space. Mods please smite Jiu Jitsu signature.


Because **** you Raider fan.

[Buehler445]

Originally Posted by Cochise

Don't write on your resume that you know Microsoft Office. That's like telling me that you know how to use a telephone.

To be fair, there is a lot of variation in Excel skills. Just opening the shit and calculating a mortgage payment is far different than proficiency. There really aren't a lot of people proficient in excel unless they've taken some really high level classes or job experience. It really depends on the position.

Originally Posted by Dave Lane

And to my credit I haven't shown up late to apply for a job since 1979.

Of course I haven't applied for one since then.

You old. I wasn't born then.

Originally Posted by BucEyedPea

I have no need for Excel. But I can do a masterful PP and know word.
But I still best at Adobe Illustrator, Photoshop or a Page Layout program. Ya' know the more difficult programs. So why should I be able to know Excel? Beats me!

Apples and oranges. Excel is strictly math. Powerpoint, Word, Illustrator, Photoshop and web development are decidedly NOT math.