Let's hear the most offensive jokes you can think of! - Page 3

Clint in Wichita · 05-22-2003, 11:43 AM

To avoid a debate, you may want to leave out the ethnic jokes. However, if you do decide to post an ethnic joke, it won't bother me at all.

My first contribution, heard about a week ago:

Q: What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

A: Not being reeruned.

Next?

**ChiTown** · 05-22-2003, 12:36 PM

Three vampires walk into a bar. One orders a blood on the rocks.
Another orders a double blood. The third simply asks for a mug of hot water.
"Why didn't you order blood like everyone else?" asks the bartender.
The vampire pulls out a tampon and says, "I'm making tea!"

**ChiTown** · 05-22-2003, 12:40 PM

Mum walked into the bathroom one day and found
young Johnny furiously scrubbing his dick with a
toothbrush and toothpaste.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, young
man?!" she exclaimed.
"Don't try to stop me!" Johnny warned. "I'm gonna
do this three times a day, because there's no way I'm
gonna get a cavity that looks and smells as bad as my
sister's."

Mr Grimm · 05-22-2003, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by siberian khatru
I can see I'm going to loooooove this thread!

I'm just waiting for some Church Lady poster to drop in and admonish all of us for being so insensitive. "You realize this IS a public BBS. The family of Christopher Reeve or some vegetable could read this and have their feelings hurt! Put yourself in their place. How would YOU feel?"

If i were Christopher R. Likely....
i wouldn't feel much at all!!!

fbal4lif32 · 05-22-2003, 12:45 PM

With the Hitler movie fresh on the mind....
How many Jews can you fit into a car?

6. 2 in the front, 2 in the back, 2 in tbe ashtray.

**Baby Lee** · 05-22-2003, 12:46 PM

A little dated:

Magic Johnson goes to his physician for an update on his HIV. Doc says "I got good news and bad news."

"What's the good?"

"You'll live to be 95."

What's the bad?"

"95 pounds."

fbal4lif32 · 05-22-2003, 12:49 PM

How do you starve a Bosnian?

Hide the food stamps under his soap.

Mr. Mean · 05-22-2003, 12:52 PM

Q: Why do Catholic priests like to shower with twelve year olds?

A: Because when you smooth their hair back, they look like they are nine.

angel · 05-22-2003, 12:53 PM

Whats something that only women can do?

Get laid after they're dead

angel · 05-22-2003, 12:55 PM

How do you make a baby drink?

Stick it in the blender.

**BigMeatballDave** · 05-22-2003, 12:57 PM

A West Virginian father takes his daughter to the doctor cuz she's having feminine problems...

The Dr. asks: Is she sexually active?

Father: No, she just lays there...

**KcMizzou** · 05-22-2003, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by angel
How do you make a baby drink?

Stick it in the blender.

good gawd, angel...

who'da thunk it...

**ChiTown** · 05-22-2003, 12:58 PM

A Leper with lots of money went to a five-star restaurant to have his best and last dinner. He wasn't turned away despite his appearance and the oozing leprotic wounds in his body. He was served as equally as the other patrons of the restaurant. In the middle of his meal, a disgusted patron called on to the manager of the restaurant to complain. Angrily, she told the manager "How can you allow such thing in your fine establishment". The manager replied "but Madam, despite the way he looks, he is a paying customer and he deserve the same rights as everyone else dining here". She said "No! I wasn't talking about the Leper. I mean...the blind guy sitting behind him dipping his bread into the Leper's neck".

siberian khatru · 05-22-2003, 12:59 PM

Methinks

is more the

ndbbm · 05-22-2003, 01:00 PM

What's the difference between Madonna and a Kit Kat?

You only get four fingers in the Kit Kat.

bkkcoh · 05-22-2003, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ChiTown
She said "No! I wasn't talking about the Leper. I mean...the blind guy sitting behind him dipping his bread into the Leper's neck".

05-22-2003, 11:43 AM
Clint in Wichita Veteran Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	Let's hear the most offensive jokes you can think of! To avoid a debate, you may want to leave out the ethnic jokes. However, if you do decide to post an ethnic joke, it won't bother me at all. My first contribution, heard about a week ago: Q: What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not being reeruned. Next?
Posts: 4,458

05-22-2003, 12:36 PM	#31
ChiTown Stroking to the SB Champs! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Flatlands of Kansas Casino cash: $3213962	Three vampires walk into a bar. One orders a blood on the rocks. Another orders a double blood. The third simply asks for a mug of hot water. "Why didn't you order blood like everyone else?" asks the bartender. The vampire pulls out a tampon and says, "I'm making tea!" __________________
Posts: 39,346

05-22-2003, 12:40 PM	#32
ChiTown Stroking to the SB Champs! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Flatlands of Kansas Casino cash: $3213962	Mum walked into the bathroom one day and found young Johnny furiously scrubbing his dick with a toothbrush and toothpaste. "What the hell do you think you're doing, young man?!" she exclaimed. "Don't try to stop me!" Johnny warned. "I'm gonna do this three times a day, because there's no way I'm gonna get a cavity that looks and smells as bad as my sister's." __________________
Posts: 39,346

05-22-2003, 12:45 PM	#34
fbal4lif32 You talkin' to me? Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: On the Waterfront Casino cash: $10004900	With the Hitler movie fresh on the mind.... How many Jews can you fit into a car? 6. 2 in the front, 2 in the back, 2 in tbe ashtray. __________________ "You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word." -Al Capone, Robert De Niro in The Untouchables
Posts: 3,502

05-22-2003, 12:46 PM	#35
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $6838598	A little dated: Magic Johnson goes to his physician for an update on his HIV. Doc says "I got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "You'll live to be 95." What's the bad?" "95 pounds." __________________ We need the kind of courage that can withstand the subtle corruption of the cynics - E.W.
Posts: 95,642

05-22-2003, 12:49 PM	#36
fbal4lif32 You talkin' to me? Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: On the Waterfront Casino cash: $10004900	How do you starve a Bosnian? Hide the food stamps under his soap. __________________ "You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word." -Al Capone, Robert De Niro in The Untouchables
Posts: 3,502

05-22-2003, 12:52 PM	#37
Mr. Mean Starter Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: spfd Casino cash: $10004900	Q: Why do Catholic priests like to shower with twelve year olds? A: Because when you smooth their hair back, they look like they are nine. __________________ You buy me a soda and you try to molest me in the parking lot
Posts: 74

05-22-2003, 12:53 PM	#38
angel so cute Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Small Town Kansas Casino cash: $10004900	Whats something that only women can do? Get laid after they're dead
Posts: 1,264

05-22-2003, 12:55 PM	#39
angel so cute Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Small Town Kansas Casino cash: $10004900	How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
Posts: 1,264

05-22-2003, 12:57 PM	#40
BigMeatballDave GBM 8-12-15 Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Dayton, Oh. Casino cash: $10052154	A West Virginian father takes his daughter to the doctor cuz she's having feminine problems... The Dr. asks: Is she sexually active? Father: No, she just lays there...
Posts: 59,997

05-22-2003, 12:58 PM	#42
ChiTown Stroking to the SB Champs! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Flatlands of Kansas Casino cash: $3213962	A Leper with lots of money went to a five-star restaurant to have his best and last dinner. He wasn't turned away despite his appearance and the oozing leprotic wounds in his body. He was served as equally as the other patrons of the restaurant. In the middle of his meal, a disgusted patron called on to the manager of the restaurant to complain. Angrily, she told the manager "How can you allow such thing in your fine establishment". The manager replied "but Madam, despite the way he looks, he is a paying customer and he deserve the same rights as everyone else dining here". She said "No! I wasn't talking about the Leper. I mean...the blind guy sitting behind him dipping his bread into the Leper's neck". __________________
Posts: 39,346

05-22-2003, 12:59 PM	#43
siberian khatru 21st Century Schizoid Fan Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Gates of Delirium Casino cash: $2464950	Methinks is more the
Posts: 69,212

05-22-2003, 01:00 PM	#44
ndbbm No mas Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Amish Country. Casino cash: $10004900	What's the difference between Madonna and a Kit Kat? You only get four fingers in the Kit Kat.
Posts: 4,524