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Old 10-12-2014, 05:05 AM  
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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A relationship question.
I was talking to my lady the other day about cheating.

I asked her questions about it, pushing the boundaries of what she would consider cheating. For instance, what if I decided to **** another man? Is that cheating? She said it would weird her out greatly and yes, she would consider it cheating.

What if I was ****ing the guy to hurt him? Like, what if I ****ed a dude for some overzealous hazing for a fraternity I'd theoretically be in?

She thought about that one a long time. I suppose because romance was not involved, it made her question the nature of cheating.

Cheating, she eventually concluded. Also, very clearly, a sex crime.

Alright, how about an animal? What if I ****ed a cow?

She gave it a hard think, and said that THAT TOO is cheating. Also, beastiality. But I would be cheating on her with a horse. Or whatever it was.

Alright. How about a tree? It's a living organism, but it's not an animal with a vagina or anus.

Finally, paydirt. She discerned that ****ing a tree is extremely disturbing for her to even think about, however in her eyes I wouldn't be cheating if I did it.

So my question to you guys is:

Do you know any hot trees you guys can hook me up with?

I'm looking for slutty trees, too. Trees that are just ****ing asking for it.

And before you ask, yes: I do like some junk in the trunk.
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Old 10-12-2014, 05:07 AM   #2
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Oh hell yes.

Let's do this thing.
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Old 10-12-2014, 05:11 AM   #3
Bufkin Bufkin is offline
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I recommend flowering dogwood if you're looking for a quickie that's both effective and pleasurable. If you want to work for your money shot, there's always the sugar maple. If you're simply wanting a good old fashioned without any further contact, then the lodgepole pine is your bag. Me personally? I live by the motto "once you go quaking aspen, you never go back". If you have any specific questions, PM me.
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Old 10-12-2014, 05:34 AM   #4
Coochie liquor Coochie liquor is offline
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Old 10-12-2014, 05:43 AM   #5
ChiliConCarnage ChiliConCarnage is online now
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tree slut
a crazy hippie biatch who sexually grinds against the tree bark to stimulate her clitoris.
Laura Jo is a tree slut.
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Old 10-12-2014, 05:50 AM   #6
Baby Lee Baby Lee is offline
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Old 10-12-2014, 06:05 AM   #7
R8RFAN R8RFAN is offline
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Old 10-12-2014, 06:11 AM   #8
rico rico is offline
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

http://facebook.com/thepindoctors
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Old 10-12-2014, 06:33 AM   #9
RealSNR RealSNR is online now
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Go **** an evergreen.
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I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.
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Old 10-12-2014, 06:39 AM   #10
RealSNR RealSNR is online now
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Is it just trees? Or any kind of plant?

If you're not picky...

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I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.
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Old 10-12-2014, 06:39 AM   #11
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Originally Posted by SNR View Post
Go **** an evergreen.
This.
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Old 10-12-2014, 06:40 AM   #12
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Originally Posted by SNR View Post
Go **** an evergreen.
Check your rep - since D'shun isn't answering - i asked you the same question - can't find anything online.
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Old 10-12-2014, 06:42 AM   #13
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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thanks.
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Old 10-12-2014, 06:43 AM   #14
RealSNR RealSNR is online now
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Check your rep - since D'shun isn't answering - i asked you the same question - can't find anything online.
I responded with a rep.

If Direckshun never responded, it sounds like you were barking up the wrong tree.
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I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.
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Old 10-12-2014, 06:52 AM   #15
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Is it just trees? Or any kind of plant?

If you're not picky...
I'm looking for really any plant that's sturdy enough to take a good rogering.

Flowers, as have been suggested, are not strong enough.

A cactus is. But I don't like it rough.
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