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Old 09-06-2014, 10:42 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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The night before Chiefsmas
'Twas the night before Chiefsmas, when all through Arrowhead
No one had a clue to beat the Titans, and the franchise was dead.

But helmets were hung in their lockers with fear
In hopes that Fat Andy had not drunk too much beer.

The Chiefs were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of checkdowns danced in their heads;

And Dorsey in his jammies, and Clark in his nightgown
Had just settled down after drinking the town

When out on the field there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the press box I flew like a flash,
Tore open the gate, past Hali smoking hash.

The moon shining down on the fresh-painted grass
Made me think of a god awful Alex Smith pass.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A big red bus, the Kansas City Chiefs were here!

With an old coach, so fat, with a great big gut!
Yes, it was Andy, who jiggled his barbecue butt.

More rapid than Jamaal Charles his players they came
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them with shame.

"Now, Alex! Now Avery! Now, Parker and Smith!
On, Fisher! On Fulton! On Allen and whoever the **** is starting at right tackle!

You all ****ing suck! You can't ****ing ball!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

So back to the locker room, at the sound of the horn!
The players ran off, to avoid Fat Andy's scorn.

And then, in the hallway, I heard footsteps come.
It was Fat Andy and the Chiefs, even before the sun!

As I logged off the Planet, and was turning around,
Down the aisle Fat Andy came with a thunderous bound.

He was dressed all in red, yes, he looked overweight.
And said, "The Titans are going to kill us, bring on your hate."

A bundle of ribs he had tucked under his arm.
He promised, he'd eat them, after Alex bought the farm.

Said Andy: Alex will throw 40 passes, for a total of 100 yards.
We won't win at Arrowhead, I'd rather just go play cards.

Have you seen the Titans defense, and their monster Jurrell Casey?
Alex will run for his life, his escapes will be quite hasty.

Anyway, we don't have Bowe, but we've got this guy named Hammond.
But that's just because our GM sucks, and should have his head examined.

Meanwhile, our new offensive line will surely make our QB fall.
But Alex doesn't care, he's got some three yard passes for us all!

Did you know with his new contract, he bought a sweet new land rover?
He's actually betting on the Titans, here's a hint: take the over!

Fat Andy then closed his playbook, and got back on the bus
He added, "by the way, Alex's throwing arm is full bloody pus."

"Also, it's the opener, so our fans will be really loud!
"But when we're down by three touchdowns, their heads will be bowed."

He sprang to his seat, to his team gave a shout,
And away they all drove, ready for the rout.

But I heard Fat Andy exclaim, thinking just how the Chiefs had sucked.

"JUST GIVE ME A TOP TEN PICK, CUS BOY THIS TEAM IS ****ED!"
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Old 09-06-2014, 10:46 PM   #2
TimBone TimBone is offline
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Bravo.
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Old 09-06-2014, 10:47 PM   #3
OldSchool OldSchool is offline
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OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 09-06-2014, 11:02 PM   #4
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Old 09-06-2014, 11:02 PM   #5
Gadzooks Gadzooks is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
He added, "by the way, Alex's throwing arm is full bloody pus."
Im not sur wat yur sayn hear.
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Old 09-06-2014, 11:07 PM   #6
Buehler445 Buehler445 is offline
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Dude. As much as I don't like 2 2nds or his new contract, Alex isn't that bad. He's not brees or Rodgers but he's not Cassel either.
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Old 09-06-2014, 11:08 PM   #7
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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The lines are drawn, Claythan.
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Old 09-06-2014, 11:18 PM   #8
teedubya teedubya is offline
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Today is actually a game we can win... It's the next few after that are concerning.

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Old 09-06-2014, 11:20 PM   #9
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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I do think this team is going to be better than many on this board anticipated, including myself.

We do tend to overlook that we have the most dynamic non-QB in the league, and a really, really good front seven when it's totally healthy.

I keep projecting 5-11, but 8-8 is a legit possibility.
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Old 09-06-2014, 11:22 PM   #10
O.city O.city is offline
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Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
I do think this team is going to be better than many on this board anticipated, including myself.

We do tend to overlook that we have the most dynamic non-QB in the league, and a really, really good front seven when it's totally healthy.

I keep projecting 5-11, but 8-8 is a legit possibility.
They could win 10 or 11 and it wouldn't surprise me. I don't think they will, but I don't think there's much difference in a 6/7 win team and a 9/10 win team with as thin as the margins are in the nfl.
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Old 09-06-2014, 11:35 PM   #11
OldSchool OldSchool is offline
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Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
I do think this team is going to be better than many on this board anticipated, including myself.

We do tend to overlook that we have the most dynamic non-QB in the league, and a really, really good front seven when it's totally healthy.

I keep projecting 5-11, but 8-8 is a legit possibility.
I could honestly see us going anywhere from 6-10 to 11-5.

Anything in between that would not surprise me one bit.
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OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.OldSchool has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 09-06-2014, 11:36 PM   #12
Gonzo Gonzo is offline
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0-16 **** it.
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I loved the guy on top of the pole starting at around 3:15.
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Old 09-06-2014, 11:42 PM   #13
New World Order New World Order is offline
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****ing awesome
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Old 09-06-2014, 11:44 PM   #14
Rasputin Rasputin is offline
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Pourass O-line


Could have one of the best pass rushing units in the league, but have suspect secondary.


Alex Smith average but Jamaal Charles is beast.

Dwayne Bowe is out first game.


Alex Smith is going be lucky get out of this season alive.
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Old 09-07-2014, 12:01 AM   #15
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
The lines are drawn, Claythan.
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???

IS THIS NOT WHY YOU ARE HERE?

*SPIT*
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