Why do British people talk like idiots?

[RealSNR]

Yes, I know standard American English isn't perfect. And by "talk like idiots" I'm not talking about stupid people who speak English. I'm talking about how normally intelligent British people CHOOSE to talk like idiots.

For example, here's what one of my Facebook friends from London said in a status: "Gods, tonight's 'Doctor Who' was patchy twaddle."

Patchy twaddle, eh? I'm pretty sure you just made that crap up, as if there aren't hundreds of words you could use to mean "bad." It's the words they choose, as well. They seem to fancy themselves as a literary culture, so they choose words that sound fun. All the baby talk crap we use in Standard American English like "wibbly-wobbly" and "bibbity-boppity" had to have come from the brains of these ****ing weirdos.

And yes, I'm aware that Shakespeare invented hundreds of words used by all speakers of English to this very day. But I don't think he went around using all the new words he invented on the street. They were adapted into the daily use over time.

They didn't zoomy-woomy so quackadilly that before they could say "Bob's your uncle!" that people couldn't bloody cochleante a blimey word they was articulating!

[Randallflagg]

Originally Posted by cabletech94

2 words:

PEYTON MANNING.

or

POOP TACO.

FISH 'N CHIPS.

[Donger]

What's all this, then?

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

Originally Posted by Donger

What's all this, then?

You are expected to regale us with many witty British terms and their meanings, I suppose.

[Rausch]

Originally Posted by CupidStunt

Americans are much, MUCH worse "then" Brits.

This.

[Donger]

Originally Posted by Wallcrawler

I have a British girl that works for me. She's pretty cool to have around just to listen to her talk.

The one thing that always gets me is the "TH" being pronounced with an "F".

Three becomes free, months becomes monfs, think becomes fink, etc..

Dilly-dally gets thrown around the place quite a bit, and "numpty prat" has become my new call-sign after repeated pranking.


The best mixup in translation from British to American was the other day.

She comes up to me in front of several customers and asks me if I have a spare rubber she can borrow. We all look at her funny, and it takes her an awkwardly long amount of time to get across that she was actually looking for an eraser.

Apparently erasers are called rubbers in England, and condoms are called "Johnnies".

Hilarious.

That's because she's working class.

[splatbass]

Originally Posted by Valiant

Until you make it to the moon. yes.

There are only three countries in the world that don't use the metric system, Liberia, Myanmar and the US. That isn't something I would brag about.

By the way, the computers on the Apollo flights used the metric system. We literally used the metric system to get to the moon.

Nice use of the eagle/flag, but a complete fail otherwise. No wonder so many other countries think we are idiots.

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

Originally Posted by splatbass

There are only three countries in the world that don't use the metric system, Liberia, Myanmar and the US. That isn't something I would brag about.

By the way, the computers on the Apollo flights used the metric system.

Nice use of the eagle/flag, but a complete fail otherwise. no wonder so many other countries think we are idiots.

Finally, we agree.

[Donger]

Originally Posted by splatbass

By the way, the computers on the Apollo flights used the metric system. We literally used the metric system to get to the moon.

Partially correct. The instruments were displayed in American.

[splatbass]

Originally Posted by Donger

Partially correct. The instruments were displayed in American.

True, but the calculations were done in metric then converted for American consumption.

[Rain Man]

How long is a Canadian football field? I don't think it's metric.

If we switched the metric system, would it bring down scoring in the NFL since the field would be 100 meters? We'd probably see some bad offense for a decade too due to confusion on pass routes.

[splatbass]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

How long is a Canadian football field? I don't think it's metric.

If we switched the metric system, would it bring down scoring in the NFL since the field would be 100 meters? We'd probably see some bad offense for a decade too due to confusion on pass routes.

You don't have to change everything. Canada still uses yards for football (although their field is 110 yards long, with a 55 yard line in the middle), and the UK still uses miles and pints. If it is something that is traditional you can leave it alone, but for most things the metric system is superior (although with all the time I've spent in foreign countries I still can't think in Celsius, I have to convert to Fahrenheit on my computer or phone).

So if it was up to me we would convert to metric, but leave football in yards, leave the Indy 500 in miles, and leave temperature in Fahrenheit.

[Tombstone RJ]

Originally Posted by Valiant

Until you make it to the moon. yes.

I likety it!

[Marcellus]

Originally Posted by splatbass

You don't have to change everything. Canada still uses yards for football (although their field is 110 yards long, with a 55 yard line in the middle), and the UK still uses miles and pints. If it is something that is traditional you can leave it alone, but for most things the metric system is superior (although with all the time I've spent in foreign countries I still can't think in Celsius, I have to convert to Fahrenheit on my computer or phone).

So if it was up to me we would convert to metric, but leave football in yards, leave the Indy 500 in miles, and leave temperature in Fahrenheit.

So what would you exactly gain moving to metric for weight and measurements?

We already use MM for a lot of measurement and it hasn't made damn thing easier I can tell.

[Discuss Thrower]

[splatbass]

Originally Posted by Marcellus

So what would you exactly gain moving to metric for weight and measurements?

We already use MM for a lot of measurement and it hasn't made damn thing easier I can tell.

You don't deal with foreign countries much I take it? For business it would be much better if the entire world used the same units of measurement. And the metric system is much easier to use than our system, believe it or not.

The only argument against going to the metric system is the usual American "We are America, we're not letting no furriners tell us what to do, plus we don't want to learn anything new" BS.