Funny Stuff Clean jokes can be funny too! - Page 40

Frankie · 05:17 PM

Or at least good for a chuckle. Here's something completely different (for this BB). This thread is dedicated to ONLY CLEAN JOKES. Please post any clean joke that you find funny or at least amusing. We will not call you "dorks." Not in this thread. Let's see what you've got,... and share them.

Don't worry about repeat jokes. Nobody has time to check all posts.

**Scorp** · 04-03-2009, 02:22 PM

Haha That is funny right there.

blazzin311 · 04-03-2009, 02:26 PM

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant.
While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?"

The woman shakes her head, "no.."

Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?"

The woman begins to turn blue, and again shakes her head, "no."

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress,
yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it afore!"

**doomy3** · 04-03-2009, 02:28 PM

Uh oh, now you've offended Sam Hall.

**Scorp** · 04-03-2009, 02:29 PM

Hell he offended more then half of this board.

blazzin311 · 04-03-2009, 02:38 PM

wasnt' trying to offend anyone. sorry if that's the case. Dont hate me everyone. lol

blazzin311 · 04-03-2009, 02:39 PM

Ah ha. I guess i over looked that.

**Gonzo** · 04-03-2009, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blazzin311

Ah ha. I guess i over looked that.

Forget about it....

blaise · 04-03-2009, 02:45 PM

I bet they were at a Waffle House.

Archie F. Swin · 04-03-2009, 02:47 PM

so next time I see a purdy woman chokin....

yep

**Buck** · 04-03-2009, 02:49 PM

You can get Cutler Jersey's in the Broncos Pro Shop for like $9 right now.

blazzin311 · 04-03-2009, 03:47 PM

A business man got on an elevator.

When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who

greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F."

He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled

her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F."

The man smiled back to her and once again replied, "S-H-I-T."

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.

'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?"

The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday'

**RealSNR** · 04-03-2009, 03:49 PM

And the pirate says, "Arrrrgh, it's drivin' me nuts!"

blazzin311 · 04-03-2009, 03:49 PM

BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN

Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

4 - 5 lb. Chicken
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT)
Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.

Listen for the popping sounds. When the chicken's ass blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it's done.

And, you thought I couldn't cook...

**Bowser** · 04-03-2009, 03:49 PM

I chuckled.

**Scorp** · 04-03-2009, 03:50 PM

09-25-2005, 09:00 AM
Frankie Banned Join Date: Jul 2001 Casino cash: $10004900	Clean jokes can be funny too! Or at least good for a chuckle. Here's something completely different (for this BB). This thread is dedicated to ONLY CLEAN JOKES. Please post any clean joke that you find funny or at least amusing. We will not call you "dorks." Not in this thread. Let's see what you've got,... and share them. Don't worry about repeat jokes. Nobody has time to check all posts. Last edited by Frankie; 07-10-2011 at 05:17 PM..
Posts: 26,959

04-03-2009, 02:22 PM	#586
Scorp Whiskey Tango Foxtrot OVER! Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Hell Casino cash: $6629000	Haha That is funny right there. __________________
Posts: 4,507

04-03-2009, 02:28 PM	#588
doomy3 Supporter Join Date: Aug 2005 Casino cash: $5363539	Uh oh, now you've offended Sam Hall.
Posts: 12,854

04-03-2009, 02:29 PM	#589
Scorp Whiskey Tango Foxtrot OVER! Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Hell Casino cash: $6629000	Hell he offended more then half of this board. __________________
Posts: 4,507

04-03-2009, 02:38 PM	#590
blazzin311 Blazzin311 Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Miami, FL Casino cash: $9475101	wasnt' trying to offend anyone. sorry if that's the case. Dont hate me everyone. lol
Posts: 1,429

04-03-2009, 02:39 PM	#591
blazzin311 Blazzin311 Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Miami, FL Casino cash: $9475101	Ah ha. I guess i over looked that.
Posts: 1,429

04-03-2009, 02:45 PM	#593
blaise In Search of a Life Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Plano, TX Casino cash: $9999900	I bet they were at a Waffle House.
Posts: 22,188

04-03-2009, 02:47 PM	#594
Archie F. Swin This is the way Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Wichita Falls, Texas Casino cash: $9975673	so next time I see a purdy woman chokin.... yep __________________ "No Two People Will Do It The Same, You got It Down...When You Appear to Be In Pain!"
Posts: 11,800

04-03-2009, 02:49 PM	#595
Buck Take a Chill Pill Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: South Carolina Casino cash: $8319900	You can get Cutler Jersey's in the Broncos Pro Shop for like $9 right now.
Posts: 44,562

04-03-2009, 03:47 PM	#596
blazzin311 Blazzin311 Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Miami, FL Casino cash: $9475101	T-G-I-F vs. S-H-I-T A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F." He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T." The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F." The man smiled back to her and once again replied, "S-H-I-T." The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. 'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?" The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday'
Posts: 1,429

04-03-2009, 03:49 PM	#597
RealSNR Special Teams ACE!!! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Where the hell is SNR Casino cash: $2360208	And the pirate says, "Arrrrgh, it's drivin' me nuts!"
Posts: 90,443

04-03-2009, 03:49 PM	#598
blazzin311 Blazzin311 Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Miami, FL Casino cash: $9475101	new chicken recipe BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try. 4 - 5 lb. Chicken 1 cup melted butter 1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good.) 1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT) Salt/pepper to taste Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven. Listen for the popping sounds. When the chicken's ass blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it's done. And, you thought I couldn't cook...
Posts: 1,429

04-03-2009, 03:49 PM	#599
Bowser sorta mod-ish Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: KC North Casino cash: $3441616	I chuckled.
Posts: 100,680

04-03-2009, 03:50 PM	#600
Scorp Whiskey Tango Foxtrot OVER! Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Hell Casino cash: $6629000	__________________
Posts: 4,507