Parents shying away from Winnie The Pooh

[Demonpenz]

As a parent, I feel like everywhere I turn, someone is warning me about the dangers of letting my children watch TV. While I agree that it can be harmful in large doses, honestly, what really matters to me is just making sure that when my children do watch TV, they’re watching shows that impart some sort of positive value into their lives. This also means steering them away from programs that might affect them negatively, which is why I never allow my children to watch anything featuring Winnie the Pooh, the fat virgin.

If you’re unfamiliar, Winnie the Pooh is a brainless bear who lives in the forest and slowly makes the world bad. He has beady serpent eyes and zero genitals, which is something we know because he never wears any pants or undergarments. In fact, he’s practically bragging about not having a penis. But even if he did have a penis, he wouldn’t know it, because his fat belly would keep him from seeing anything below his sad bear tits. It makes me mad just thinking about it. This bear, he just wanders around eating honey out of a jar with his bare hands like a fat savage. I hate it.

One thing that can be assumed about the dickless sad sack called Winnie the Pooh is that he is a virgin. He clearly has never ****ed. He is a simpering, high-voiced virgin who spends all his time leering at a little boy named Christopher. It’s disgusting. I don’t want my kids being exposed to that. I’m not going to be like, “Hey, kids, come watch the emasculated bear with the scary fingerless hands who’s never ****ed a day in his life and who is obsessed with a little boy of a different species.” That’d be irresponsible and gross.

He is a simpering, high-voiced virgin who spends all his time leering at a little boy named Christopher.

“But what do you let your kids watch?” you might ask. I’d much rather my kids watch the **** machine named Big Bird. Big Bird is the towering human bird from PBS who you can tell is just constantly ****ing. He’s got that swagger. There are a lot of good lessons children can learn from a major-league pussy-crusher like Big Bird, such as the importance of confidence, courage, and friendship.

Winnie the Pooh, on the other hand, wouldn’t know the first thing about courage. If he were on United Airlines Flight 93, for example, not only would he have not joined the revolt against the terrorists, but he probably would’ve gotten down on his yellow knees and sucked the terrorists’ cocks one by one. “Oh, bother!” he would shrug as the al-Qaeda operatives drilled the back of his throat with their pube-slathered ding-dongs.

What a coward, this pathetic bear.

I cannot fathom how any parent could ever willingly expose their children to trash like Winnie the Pooh. It seems like a guaranteed recipe to ensure that your kids grow up to be pitiful, dead-eyed perverts who will never know the heavenly joys of ****ing. If you want your kids to grow up to be brave and smart, you should let them watch either the impressive sex duck Big Bird, the cunning potato named Arthur, or Babar the indoor elephant. Winnie the Pooh is a walking disease, and if I ever catch my kids watching him, I will spank them with my belt. And if you’re a good parent, you will do the same.

Parents
Virginity
TV
Influences
Winnie The Pooh
Children
Wow
Incredible
Growing Up
Dads
Kids
Inspiring

[WhawhaWhat]

This wasn't even worth your time while you copy and pasted it.

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-...-i-don-2842#1,

[In58men]

Shy away from deez nutz


Oh yeah who ****ing cares

[Amnorix]

I will say that I prohibited Caillou from my house after noticing a couple episodes. I absolutely could not take the whiny brat's voice or attitude. Yeah, I know that the episode always turned around and Caillou learned an importnat lesson, blah, blah, blah, but the pain to get there was too high.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Amnorix

I will say that I prohibited Caillou from my house after noticing a couple episodes. I absolutely could not take the whiny brat's voice or attitude. Yeah, I know that the episode always turned around and Caillou learned an importnat lesson, blah, blah, blah, but the pain to get there was too high.

Watch out, man. Caillou is on his way to kill you with a shovel.

[The Franchise]

Originally Posted by Amnorix

I will say that I prohibited Caillou from my house after noticing a couple episodes. I absolutely could not take the whiny brat's voice or attitude. Yeah, I know that the episode always turned around and Caillou learned an importnat lesson, blah, blah, blah, but the pain to get there was too high.

Caillou is ****ing horrible.

[ChiTown]

Originally Posted by Pestilence

Caillou is ****ing horrible.

Everything coming out of Canada sucks - except for Labatt Blue and Molson Golden.....

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Pestilence

Caillou is ****ing horrible.

He's going to be busy with that shovel.

[ClevelandBronco]

Sarah and Duck.
Sarah and Duck.
Sarah and Duck.
SarahandDuck.

[DaneMcCloud]

Originally Posted by ChiTown

Everything coming out of Canada sucks - except for Labatt Blue and Molson Golden.....

And French Canadian strippers

[BWillie]

pooh is a savage

[threebag]

I use to frequent The No 5 Orange in Vancouver, smoking hot strippers.

[TLO]

I liked Franklin as a kid. Clifford was ok too.

[threebag]

I figured you big smoke as a Mr Rogers with a side of Teletubbies type

[TLO]

Originally Posted by threebag02

I figured you big smoke as a Mr Rogers with a side of Teletubbies type

Yeah well you strike me as someone who picks their own ass and then smells it - so there's that.