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09-08-2012, 09:44 PM | Topic Starter |
I'll be back.
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The Night Before Chiefsmas
'Twas the night before Chiefsmas, when all through Arrowhead
Not a creature was stirring, and no one wore red. But helmets were hung in their lockers with care In hopes that Fat Romeo soon would be there The Chiefs were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of dead Falcons danced in their heads; And Pioli in his jammies, and Clark in his nightgown Had just settled down after drinking the town When out on the field there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the press box I flew like a flash, Tore open the gate, past Hali smoking hash. The moon shining down on the fresh-painted grass Made me think of a tight little cheerleader's ass. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, A big red bus, the Kansas City Chiefs were here! With an old coach, so fat, with a great big gut! Yes, it was Romeo, who jiggled his Patriot Way butt. More rapid than Jamaal Charles his players they came And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name; "Now, Albert! now, Breaston! now, Cassel and Powe! On, Charles! on Flowers! on, Dorsey and Poe! To the edge of the sideline! Protect my damn ball! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!" So back to the locker room, at the sound of the horn! The players ran off, herded by Zorn. And then, in the hallway, I heard footsteps come. It was Romeo and the Chiefs, even before the sun! As I logged off the Planet, and was turning around, Down the aisle Romeo came with a thunderous bound. He was dressed all in red, yes, he looked good. And said, "Eric Berry's back and laying the wood." A bundle of blitzes he had tucked under his arm, He promised, to the Falcons, they would do great harm. Said Romeo: Matt Ryan scored two points in his last awful game. They won't win at Arrowhead, or it will be my shame. Have you seen their left tackle, he sucks really hard! Also, I love things deep fried in delicious lard. Anyway, we don't have Hali, but Justin Houston is a beast! We'll rush him, drop eight, and hold them to field goals, at least. Meanwhile, our new offensive line is really on the ball! Cassel will have time to throw, three-yard passes for all! Don't worry about Flowers, his foot will be fine. Besides, all you guys ever do is whine, whine, whine. Romeo then closed his playbook, got back on the bus He added, "by the way, Poe will crush all enemies to dust." "Also, it's the opener, so our fans will be loud! "I'm anticipating a thunderous roar from our red swaddled crowd! He sprang to his seat, to his team gave a shout, And away they all drove, ready for the bout. But I heard Romeo exclaim, as he guzzled cream cheese and jelly, "I'M SO ****ING FAT, MATT RYAN GET IN MY BELLY! |
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09-08-2012, 09:48 PM | #2 |
Baba Ganoush
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Not sure what to think of this
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09-08-2012, 09:50 PM | #3 |
Permitted
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09-08-2012, 09:51 PM | #4 |
I'll be back.
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It's tradition, you asshole.
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09-08-2012, 10:03 PM | #5 |
stax of wax
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So is waiting to start game threads until midnight but we haven't won any playoff games doing that either.
Just sayin.
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courtesy of BoneKrusher "Baseball? It's just a game. As simple as a ball and bat, yet as complex as the American spirit it symbolizes. It's a sport, a business and sometimes a religion." Ernie Harwell |
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09-08-2012, 10:10 PM | #6 |
Dumbass!
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This team hasn't won jack since 1970, so I highly doubt that anything we've done here in the last 12 years has any any affect on anything that has happened on the field.
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09-08-2012, 09:50 PM | #7 |
**** SOC & **** YOU
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A more fitting Chiefs / Christmas mashup...
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09-07-2013, 10:44 PM | #8 |
I've Made a Huge Mistake
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09-08-2012, 10:10 PM | #9 |
Veteran
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Gay
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09-08-2012, 10:15 PM | #10 |
Mahomes Dynasty
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I'm still starting the official game thread.
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09-08-2012, 10:19 PM | #11 |
¡RIOS MIO!
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Good effort and amusing, but the phrases weren't all matched to one another (different numbers of syllables, inconsistent flow). That made it kind of awkward to read at times.
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09-08-2012, 10:20 PM | #12 |
I'll be back.
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It's as shitty as our team is!
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09-08-2012, 10:24 PM | #13 |
PermaBanned
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Stanzas six and seven are money. Made me laugh...
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09-08-2012, 10:27 PM | #14 |
Rookie
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This was great. Way to go.
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09-07-2013, 10:34 PM | #15 |
I'll be back.
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Bah humbug, mother****ers. Coal in Alex Smith's stocking.
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