Get a well-earned sympathetic pat on the back in this thread.

[Direckshun]

I like you guys and I want to try something positive and new.

We here at CP are known for being harsh assholes.

But this thread, we're going to be something different.

Tell us what's eating you, this evening. It can be a big huge deal, or it can be something smaller. It doesn't matter.

I am going to politely ask everybody who responds in this thread to react with empathy, politeness, and any respectful advice that's requested of the person asking.

Inevitably, there will be people who want to storm the thread with their typical assholishness, and I request anybody reacting with anything less than positive empathy to be "downvoted" until their post vanishes. Don't quote them or respond.

Go ahead.

What's bothering you? How can we make your evening more bearable in any way?

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I was about to make a thread about this, but wasn't sure if it was worth it.

My parents are nice people, but they refuse to have an adult relationship with me. They constantly say things like, "You're always going to be five years old to us,", and unbelievably act like there's some chance that I'll move into their house with them at some point. The odds of that are so far below zero that it blows up computers to even try to calculate it.

It's creepy first of all, but it's also very disrespectful. They don't acknowledge the fact that I've been an independent adult for decades, and this 'you'll always be a little boy to us' talk disregards everything I've accomplished in my life. As they get older, it seems to be getting worse and worse. It's really disappointing that they can't evolve the relationship and see me for who I am.

It must royally blow, especially because you see how they interact with peers and such, and they are the charming, intelligent, clever people you've always admired them for. And yet that part of them vanishes when they talk to you, they regress into these versions of themselves that you no longer have use for. I would imagine that's frustrating in short doses and infuriating in large doses.

I'm sorry to hear that, Rain Man.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by RippedmyFlesh

Rain Man not to justify their behaviour but as a parent I can tell you one of the saddest conclusions I came to was my kids didn't need me. They are good kids and love me but don't need me for anything and I should be proud of their independence. But it's hard to just be a parent in name because when they were young it always my most important job and now it's done. No parent wants it to end.

I can understand that feeling, but I would hope or expect it to be a transitory thing. At some point you accept it and build a different relationship, I hope. My parents seem to be moving the other direction, and it's getting to the point where it's weird and disturbing. My mother told me recently that my real home is not my house, but hers, and mine is just "a place where you keep your stuff". Um, pardon me, mom, but I've lived in my house longer that I lived with my parents, and oh, by the way, I live there with my wife.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud

Everyone in my family has had their appendix removed. I knew there would come a day when my children would face that same reality.

Last night, my oldest began crying about stomach pain in the appendix region. I immediately told my wife to take her to the ER nearest by. They ran some tests and afterwards, told us that they didn't have a Pediatric surgeon on staff.

Meanwhile, I was taking care of the 5 year old and texting constantly. They took an ambulance to an affiliated hospital 13 miles away (or 45 minutes LA time). They ran test after test and couldn't make a determination.

After I dropped off the 5 year old this morning at school, I headed over, explained the situation to the Resident Dr. My daughter was vomiting constantly. The surgeon was due to arrive at 2pm, so we suffered for hours. The performed a CT scan (this is after 3 Ultrasounds) and found fluid outside of her ovaries. They weren't sure if it was an Ovarian cyst that burst or something else. The appendix looked fine.

Finally, the doc arrived and I impressed upon her our family history of appendicitis. She took note and took my daughter into surgery. Before that, she said that she might need to sever her Small Colon and reattach. She also warned that if the Small Colon was Black, and therefore deprived of oxygen, she'd have to sever it and put in a Colostomy insert (for a bag). After three months, she'd go back in and attempt to reattach the Small Colon.

About an hour later, the nurse called. Surgery was complete. They found that at birth, her Small Intestine kinked up like a hose, so she removed the excess tissue. She also said that she was looking for any reason to remove the appendix due to our family history and said the tip was slightly inflamed, so it's gone.

After 14 hours at the hospital today, I'm home. My wife is staying overnight, again, and I"ll go back tomorrow. My daughter's surgery was a success. Too many close friends reached out and the 5 year old is staying with one of her best friends tonight (and a great couple).

All that said, after losing my 14.5 year old Lab and best friend just last week and now this, it's been a fairly rough March.

That would indeed be a rough month. I still miss my cats who passed away several years ago. Glad your daughter's on the mend.

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud

Everyone in my family has had their appendix removed. I knew there would come a day when my children would face that same reality.

Last night, my oldest began crying about stomach pain in the appendix region. I immediately told my wife to take her to the ER nearest by. They ran some tests and afterwards, told us that they didn't have a Pediatric surgeon on staff.

Meanwhile, I was taking care of the 5 year old and texting constantly. They took an ambulance to an affiliated hospital 13 miles away (or 45 minutes LA time). They ran test after test and couldn't make a determination.

After I dropped off the 5 year old this morning at school, I headed over, explained the situation to the Resident Dr. My daughter was vomiting constantly. The surgeon was due to arrive at 2pm, so we suffered for hours. The performed a CT scan (this is after 3 Ultrasounds) and found fluid outside of her ovaries. They weren't sure if it was an Ovarian cyst that burst or something else. The appendix looked fine.

Finally, the doc arrived and I impressed upon her our family history of appendicitis. She took note and took my daughter into surgery. Before that, she said that she might need to sever her Small Colon and reattach. She also warned that if the Small Colon was Black, and therefore deprived of oxygen, she'd have to sever it and put in a Colostomy insert (for a bag). After three months, she'd go back in and attempt to reattach the Small Colon.

About an hour later, the nurse called. Surgery was complete. They found that at birth, her Small Intestine kinked up like a hose, so she removed the excess tissue. She also said that she was looking for any reason to remove the appendix due to our family history and said the tip was slightly inflamed, so it's gone.

After 14 hours at the hospital today, I'm home. My wife is staying overnight, again, and I"ll go back tomorrow. My daughter's surgery was a success. Too many close friends reached out and the 5 year old is staying with one of her best friends tonight (and a great couple).

All that said, after losing my 14.5 year old Lab and best friend just last week and now this, it's been a fairly rough March.

That is really outstanding, though.

I'm not medical personnel or anything, but it's kind of crazy that your daughter went so long with a fundamental issue in her small intestine and it only now began to affect her. Thank goodness she only suffered for a relatively small amount of time.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Direckshun

It must royally blow, especially because you see how they interact with peers and such, and they are the charming, intelligent, clever people you've always admired them for. And yet that part of them vanishes when they talk to you, they regress into these versions of themselves that you no longer have use for. I would imagine that's frustrating in short doses and infuriating in large doses.

I'm sorry to hear that, Rain Man.

"No longer have use for" is a good way to put it. They were fine parents, but that role for them ended decades ago. My theory is that they're romanticizing that time period because they're lonely now, with both of their kids living far out of town.

[wazu]

Originally Posted by Bugeater

No, but BEP did suggest nude modeling for an art school, which is a related field.

There you go, man. Art modeling. For new-age, freaky, let's paint the old-man types. The Marge Simpsons of the world.

[wazu]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I was about to make a thread about this, but wasn't sure if it was worth it.

My parents are nice people, but they refuse to have an adult relationship with me. They constantly say things like, "You're always going to be five years old to us,", and unbelievably act like there's some chance that I'll move into their house with them at some point. The odds of that are so far below zero that it blows up computers to even try to calculate it.

It's creepy first of all, but it's also very disrespectful. They don't acknowledge the fact that I've been an independent adult for decades, and this 'you'll always be a little boy to us' talk disregards everything I've accomplished in my life. As they get older, it seems to be getting worse and worse. It's really disappointing that they can't evolve the relationship and see me for who I am.

Sorry man. I've literally never heard of this problem. That's the kind of weird thing grandparents and some uncles/aunts do. I seriously have an uncle who still marvels at how I "just keep getting taller" every time he sees me.

Anyway, there there, Rainman. There, there.

[wazu]

Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud

Everyone in my family has had their appendix removed. I knew there would come a day when my children would face that same reality.

Last night, my oldest began crying about stomach pain in the appendix region. I immediately told my wife to take her to the ER nearest by. They ran some tests and afterwards, told us that they didn't have a Pediatric surgeon on staff.

Meanwhile, I was taking care of the 5 year old and texting constantly. They took an ambulance to an affiliated hospital 13 miles away (or 45 minutes LA time). They ran test after test and couldn't make a determination.

After I dropped off the 5 year old this morning at school, I headed over, explained the situation to the Resident Dr. My daughter was vomiting constantly. The surgeon was due to arrive at 2pm, so we suffered for hours. The performed a CT scan (this is after 3 Ultrasounds) and found fluid outside of her ovaries. They weren't sure if it was an Ovarian cyst that burst or something else. The appendix looked fine.

Finally, the doc arrived and I impressed upon her our family history of appendicitis. She took note and took my daughter into surgery. Before that, she said that she might need to sever her Small Colon and reattach. She also warned that if the Small Colon was Black, and therefore deprived of oxygen, she'd have to sever it and put in a Colostomy insert (for a bag). After three months, she'd go back in and attempt to reattach the Small Colon.

About an hour later, the nurse called. Surgery was complete. They found that at birth, her Small Intestine kinked up like a hose, so she removed the excess tissue. She also said that she was looking for any reason to remove the appendix due to our family history and said the tip was slightly inflamed, so it's gone.

After 14 hours at the hospital today, I'm home. My wife is staying overnight, again, and I"ll go back tomorrow. My daughter's surgery was a success. Too many close friends reached out and the 5 year old is staying with one of her best friends tonight (and a great couple).

All that said, after losing my 14.5 year old Lab and best friend just last week and now this, it's been a fairly rough March.

Thank God they were able to avoid the colostomy bag situation. Sounds like a hell of a month. Giving you a warm embrace through the internet. Shhhhh... no words. Just feel.

[carcosa]

You all seem very nice, to
Me.

[New World Order]

Originally Posted by wazu

Sorry man. I've literally never heard of this problem. That's the kind of weird thing grandparents and some uncles/aunts do. I seriously have an uncle who still marvels at how I "just keep getting taller" every time he sees me.

Anyway, there there, Rainman. There, there.

How old is he?

[New World Order]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I was about to make a thread about this, but wasn't sure if it was worth it.

My parents are nice people, but they refuse to have an adult relationship with me. They constantly say things like, "You're always going to be five years old to us,", and unbelievably act like there's some chance that I'll move into their house with them at some point. The odds of that are so far below zero that it blows up computers to even try to calculate it.

It's creepy first of all, but it's also very disrespectful. They don't acknowledge the fact that I've been an independent adult for decades, and this 'you'll always be a little boy to us' talk disregards everything I've accomplished in my life. As they get older, it seems to be getting worse and worse. It's really disappointing that they can't evolve the relationship and see me for who I am.

My dad will lecture me about shit I haven't even done or did incorrectly 10+ years ago (I'm 32).

[Chief Northman]

It’s therapeutic to dump the pain fellas. Well wishes to everyone, and sincerely.

I can’t take my own advice at the moment and am apathetic with my current career situation and the marriage/parenting is suffering because of it.

[JD10367]

Originally Posted by Bugeater

This was just touched on in another thread, so I'll spill my guts here too.

I'm going to be 50 in a couple months, and 4 months ago I walked away from my 2nd career, and I have no idea what I'm going to do now.

I did the same and it sucks. Just turned 50 a few months back. Have a shit job now pay-wise but no one wants to hire a 50 year old guy.

Originally Posted by Direckshun

That is really outstanding, though.

I'm not medical personnel or anything, but it's kind of crazy that your daughter went so long with a fundamental issue in her small intestine and it only now began to affect her. Thank goodness she only suffered for a relatively small amount of time.

Agreed. I had an intestinal kink as a baby and they found it pretty quickly because I couldn’t keep anything down, and they had to do surgery.

[patteeu]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I was about to make a thread about this, but wasn't sure if it was worth it.

My parents are nice people, but they refuse to have an adult relationship with me. They constantly say things like, "You're always going to be five years old to us,", and unbelievably act like there's some chance that I'll move into their house with them at some point. The odds of that are so far below zero that it blows up computers to even try to calculate it.

It's creepy first of all, but it's also very disrespectful. They don't acknowledge the fact that I've been an independent adult for decades, and this 'you'll always be a little boy to us' talk disregards everything I've accomplished in my life. As they get older, it seems to be getting worse and worse. It's really disappointing that they can't evolve the relationship and see me for who I am.

I have the very same issue with my mother. My dad wasn’t that way and when he was around, I think it moderated those inclinations in my mom. Since he passed a few years ago, it’s fallen on me to take care of my mom. She’s still living independently but she needs help with finances and almost all decision making and she’s lonely living alone so I spend a lot more time with her. It’s especially frustrating that she acts like her kids still need parenting while she’s the one who’s becoming more child-like due to diminishing mental and physical capabilities. Of course, her heart is in the right place as I’m sure is true with your parents.

Luckily for both my mom and me, my sister is going to move back to Kansas City to move in with her.

[rabblerouser]

Just found out my grandpa has cancer. Just passed the one year anniversary of my grandma passing. They raised me and really gave me the foundation for everything that I have...

It sucks.