This Week's Important Florida News!

[gblowfish]

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.

[scho63]

Naked, drunken man with 3 women in car hit 110 mph, police say

My question is were the 3 women naked too? What caused him to go so fast?

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/12/07...0mph-cops-say/

A Florida man with a history of drug, gun and theft arrests was allegedly naked, drunk and driving 110 mph with three female passengers when the Florida Highway Patrol caught up to him on Saturday afternoon.

Noe Dejesus, 33, was released Sunday after posting a $6,000 bond, FOX13 reported. He faces charges of DUI and driving without a license.

Dejesus was pulled over just after 3 p.m. following a report of a car driving recklessly on Alligator Alley. The Highway Patrol officer who clocked Dejesus’ speeding Cadillac initially believed the driver was merely shirtless.

But when Dejesus opened the door and stepped out, he was completely naked, police said.

The trooper allegedly spotted an open 12-pack of Corona and a nearly empty bottle of Crown Royal whiskey in the car, according to the Naples Daily News. Dejesus allegedly smelled of alcohol, was slurring his speech and almost fell down trying to put his pants on.

He declined to perform a field sobriety test and was arrested.

[TLO]

Haven't seen this thread in a while. We need that hot teacher caught having sex with a student thread bumped now.

[scho63]

Suspected Burglar Killed By Alligator While Hiding From Police In A Pond

http://rossmcgposts.tumblr.com/post/...r-while-hiding

A suspected burglar has been killed by an alligator while hiding out in a pond.

The body of Matthew Riggins, 22, was found in water in Barefoot Bay in Florida ten days after he was reported missing.

Police said Riggins was attacked by an 11-foot long alligator while he was hiding out after a series of planned break-ins.

Before he was reported missing, Riggins called his girlfriend to tell her he would be in the area breaking into homes.

Two men dressed in black lurking behind homes were spotted by residents, leading to a police search of the area that involved a helicopter and dog units.

The search was called off but Riggins was reported missing by his family the next day.

Major Tod Goodyear, from the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office, told BayNews9: “He probably went into the lake to hide from the officers and the dog, and came across that gator.

“To hide somewhere to try and get away, and then meeting up with an animal like that, no, I’ve never had that happen before.”

When a police dive team located Riggins’ body, they also came across the alligator, which was euthanised.

Some of Riggins’ remains were found inside the animal’s stomach.

[gblowfish]

I love this thread. I love it a really lot.

[Frosty]

Originally Posted by scho63

they also came across the alligator, which was euthanised.

Man, that's gratitude for you.

[scho63]

Originally Posted by Frosty

Man, that's gratitude for you.

They killed the gator because he didn't have a hunting license!

[scho63]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

I love this thread. I love it a really lot.

ME TOO!

It never stops giving along with the teacher-student sex thread!

[Buehler445]

Originally Posted by scho63

Suspected Burglar Killed By Alligator While Hiding From Police In A Pond

http://rossmcgposts.tumblr.com/post/...r-while-hiding

A suspected burglar has been killed by an alligator while hiding out in a pond.

The body of Matthew Riggins, 22, was found in water in Barefoot Bay in Florida ten days after he was reported missing.

Police said Riggins was attacked by an 11-foot long alligator while he was hiding out after a series of planned break-ins.

Before he was reported missing, Riggins called his girlfriend to tell her he would be in the area breaking into homes.

Two men dressed in black lurking behind homes were spotted by residents, leading to a police search of the area that involved a helicopter and dog units.

The search was called off but Riggins was reported missing by his family the next day.

Major Tod Goodyear, from the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office, told BayNews9: “He probably went into the lake to hide from the officers and the dog, and came across that gator.

“To hide somewhere to try and get away, and then meeting up with an animal like that, no, I’ve never had that happen before.”

When a police dive team located Riggins’ body, they also came across the alligator, which was euthanised.

Some of Riggins’ remains were found inside the animal’s stomach.

ZOMG

[gblowfish]

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. —A Port St. Lucie woman is free on bail after being arrested for a fight over flatulence.

Police were called to a home recently on a domestic battery complaint.

Donald Meikle told police that he was passing gas in bed when his wife, Dawn, began elbowing him on his arm. He said his wife eventually kicked him out of their bed because he would not stop passing gas.

Donald Meikle said he got back into the bed and passed gas again. He said his wife started kicking him again. At that point, he said he began to restrain his wife out of concern for his safety.

Donald Meikle said that while he was restraining her, her lip was split open.

Dawn Meikle gave the same version of events to police.

She was arrested for domestic battery and later released.

http://www.kmbc.com/national/fight-o...t%20Type=Story

[gblowfish]

Nothing better than starting off this week with another Important News Story out of Florida. This is an oldie but a goodie, and one of my favorite News Story Headlines:

Police Say Man With No Hands and No Legs Is Armed and On the Run


Authorities in Florida are searching for an armed quadruple amputee who's reportedly been on the run since Tuesday, hoping to question him about his involvement in a double murder.

Sean Petrozzino, 30, reportedly lost his legs, hands and parts of his arms to bacterial meningitis years ago. Police say he moved in with his parents last week after separating from his wife amidst some serious financial issues.

Both of his parents were both found dead Tuesday morning after Sean's mother, Nancy Petrozzino, failed to show up for her job as a schoolteacher.

Sean Petrozzino was last seen on an ATM surveillance camera Tuesday morning. Although police say he's currently a "person of interest" and not an official suspect in the double murder, a spokesperson did caution that he's armed with a gun.

A prosthetics expert told the Orlando Sentinel you don't need a hand to shoot both your parents—just the will—as most guns can apparently be fired by the handless, "without special devices."

[GloryDayz]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Nothing better than starting off this week with another Important News Story out of Florida. This is an oldie but a goodie, and one of my favorite News Story Headlines:

Police Say Man With No Hands and No Legs Is Armed and On the Run


Authorities in Florida are searching for an armed quadruple amputee who's reportedly been on the run since Tuesday, hoping to question him about his involvement in a double murder.

Sean Petrozzino, 30, reportedly lost his legs, hands and parts of his arms to bacterial meningitis years ago. Police say he moved in with his parents last week after separating from his wife amidst some serious financial issues.

Both of his parents were both found dead Tuesday morning after Sean's mother, Nancy Petrozzino, failed to show up for her job as a schoolteacher.

Sean Petrozzino was last seen on an ATM surveillance camera Tuesday morning. Although police say he's currently a "person of interest" and not an official suspect in the double murder, a spokesperson did caution that he's armed with a gun.

A prosthetics expert told the Orlando Sentinel you don't need a hand to shoot both your parents—just the will—as most guns can apparently be fired by the handless, "without special devices."

Evidently not the same guy...





But it can be done...



And WTH????

[scho63]

1. Florida woman arrested after drinking wine, eating rotisserie chicken while driving motorized cart around Wal-Mart

http://wthitv.com/2016/01/02/florida...ound-wal-mart/



CITRUS COUNTY, Fla. (WFLA) – A woman ate sushi, cinnamon rolls and the majority of a rotisserie chicken, while drinking wine and driving a motorized shopping cart at Walmart, according to the Citrus County Sheriff’s Office. She was arrested for shoplifting and other charges.

It happened at the Lecanto Walmart on Tuesday. Citrus deputies responded after the store loss prevention employee contacted them about an alleged shoplifter he had in custody. The employee told deputies that he had noticed the woman acting suspiciously driving the motorized shopping cart.

He could see a half-empty bottle of wine in her cart. He also said he watched her grab a box of sushi from the shelf, eat a piece and put the box back. She did the same with cinnamon rolls and mini muffins. He says he then saw her eat the majority of a rotisserie chicken while on the shopping floor.

The woman, Josseleen Elida Lopez, 20, consumed $32.36 worth of food and wine while at the store, deputies say.

When the deputies arrested her, they found two empty syringes, one in her purse and one in her backpack. She told detectives she had used the syringes to shoot up meth earlier.

When they asked her why she took the food she said she was hungry and didn’t want to bring it outside of the store. She told them she knew that what she was doing was wrong.

She was arrested on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges.


2. Florida woman arrested after 5 kids found by highway in only diapers

http://wncn.com/2015/12/31/florida-w...-only-diapers/



A 24-year-old woman was arrested on suspicion of child neglect after five young children were found attempting to cross a Florida highway wearing nothing but heavily soiled diapers, police said.

The kids, aged from 1 to 5, were stopped by a motorist before they entered traffic lanes on Route 19 outside Spring Hill, 40 miles north of Tampa, Tuesday morning.

The children were unable to say their names or where their parents were. The youngest child, a 1-year-old girl, had a “severe rash on various parts of her body” that appeared to have been there for several weeks, according to a statement from Hernando County Sheriff’s Office Wednesday.

Deputies had been at the scene for 30 minutes when they were approached by Samantha McCarthy, who told them that the children she was caring for at a nearby Motel 6 went missing while she was asleep.

The 24-year-old told officers her door was locked and she had no idea how the children got out. She added the youngest child’s rash had been there for two-to-three days and she planned to seek medical treatment later that day.

However, deputies said they confirmed McCarthy had no mode of transport and had made no appointment with a doctor. Officials from Florida’s Department for Children and Families searched the motel room and found no food and only minimal clothing.

McCarthy was arrested on suspicion of child neglect and her bond was set at $5,000. Officials did not state her relationship to the children.

The Department for Children and Families took all five children, aged 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1, into custody and the youngest child was taken to hospital for treatment for her rash.


3. Police: Naked Florida woman booked after abandoning child, urinating on police

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/...110-story.html



DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. (AP) — Police have booked a woman they say abandoned her child and fought officers as they arrested her.

Multiple news outlets report Daytona Beach police arrested 34-year-old Jennifer Cael Thursday on charges including child neglect and resisting an officer with violence.

According to a charging affidavit, Cael left her child with strangers Thursday night at a lobby of an apartment complex.

Police later found Cael intoxicated and naked inside an apartment. Police say she approached officers and punched one in the chest. They say she also urinated on them when they tried placing her in handcuffs.

She was being held at Volusia County Branch Jail. It's unclear if she has an attorney.

[scho63]

I just love Floriduh!

No Cash To Open A Bank Account? Don't Do What This Guy Allegedly Did

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/...0cad15e65c401?

Steve Leon Coley Jr. of Florida walked into a Bank of America to open an account, but the teller told him he didn't have the $25 minimum. Police say he solved the problem in a simple way -- he robbed the place.

The 36-year-old was arrested Wednesday hours after he entered the bank to make his first deposit, according to WTSP.com.

Deputies in Pasco County said the suspect showed his Florida driver's license to the teller on his first visit and returned around 2:47 p.m. demanding money, according to TampaBay.com.

Police say Coley left with an undisclosed amount of cash and was spotted walking down the street counting money.

The arresting officer said Coley fit the description of the suspect and that he had the exact amount of money stolen from the bank in his possession, according to ABC Action News.

Coley was arrested on one count of robbery without a weapon. He was taken to the Land O'Lakes Detention Center, according to jail records.

[eDave]

Originally Posted by scho63

1. Florida woman arrested after drinking wine, eating rotisserie chicken while driving motorized cart around Wal-Mart

I eat stuff from my cart all the time. I just hand them the empty container and they scan it as bought. M&M's especially. I've popped a 40 before as well, but I hid the drinking of it. That was frowned upon by the clerk, who also found it funny.

[BigMeatballDave]

I go to Walmart like once a month to get my meds and do a little shopping. I go before 9am so it's not busy at all and I cruise around in one of the motorized cars.

I used to worry about an employee telling me to get my fat ass off, but most people see the huge zipper on the side of my head and go about their business.