ChiefsPlanet Your best Story - Page 8

**Iowanian** · 03-20-2015, 10:01 AM

Tell us your best story. Your best day, the wildest thing you've seen, an event in your life.

I'm looking for the story that defines your life, the one you'd tell your grandkids around a campfire, the one you and your old friends re-tell half a box of beer into a night.

Tell us about the time you saw your dad kill a bear with his case knife, the day you won the lottery, the turd that was born with your child, the day your grandpa took you fishing.....good, bad, ugly. Your best story.

The only rule, it has to be true to the best of your memory. Go.

**SAUTO** · 03-21-2015, 07:41 PM

My experiences in life range from growing up in armourdale to crack houses in juniper gardens to the outlaws west side Chicago clubhouse to a wedding thatcost well over ten million dollars that I sat at the family table for.

Beat that ****ers

**TinyEvel** · 03-21-2015, 07:46 PM

When I was in fifth grade I had a friend named Jimmy Guiliamo. He was a chubby Italian kid who moved to L.A. from Chicago. He was kind of an idiot but seemed to be the only kid on the block who would take bigger risks than me, so we became fast friends and were always getting into trouble.

We were in separate classes, but would schedule synced times to get bathroom hall passes, and we’d meet up out by the gym and do stupid things like shoot slingshots at birds and low-level vandalization like dipping wads of toilet paper into the sink and tossing them up and sticking them to the bathroom ceiling.

One afternoon we’re doing the latter, trying to cover one whole ceiling tile with toilet paper when Jimmy says, “I dare you to shit on the floor.” Now, the last thing (or the first thing) you want to do is dare me to do something, because I’d surely do it (point in case: my childhood hero is Evel Knievel). So I go into the stall, face the toilet, drop my Toughskins and proceed to squat. The unfamiliar posture took me a few seconds to get moving, but I eventually produced a long, dangling stinky tail.

But I guess Jimmy was wondering what was taking so long, and he started to look under the door to see what I was up to. That’s when the Dookie hit the deck right in front of his face, with a resounding slap like a mackerel being tossed onto a dock.

I wipe up and exit the stall with the proud smile of an accomplished dare-taker. Jimmy at this point is laughing hysterically. And by hysterically I mean maniacally. Like a crazy person or a comic book villain, it was like giant green HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! was scribbled across the room in front of his face.

But gradually, his laughter turned. His smile began to flatten. His eyebrows slid down his forehead and hooded his eyes in a worried, terrified stare. The “HA!”s were slowing down. Something was wrong. Something wasn’t so funny any more.

Like the Nazi in the bowler and round glasses at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jimmy began to realize that all hell was about to break loose. No more HA!s. Now just a few coughs. And then. Barf. Lots and lots of barf.

I was lucky enough that he turned towards the sinks before his lunch exited his face at 35 miles per hour. Must’ve been pizza because he painted the sinks pink. He wipes his mouth on his sleeve and says ‘I gotta see the nurse” and heads for the exit.

I’m thinking he’s gonna rat me out for dropping a deck deuce, so I try to stop him. But he gets out the door first and pukes again. He’s now shuffling as fast as he can towards the office, a fast walk across the schoolyard, and he looks like he’s gonna pass out. These three girls are standing under a tree, and he levels himself on it, one says “are you ok?” And he BARFS AGAIN right there at their feet.” They all shriek in disgust and run away.

Jimmy continues to amble towards the offices and I’m skipping along next to him yelling into his ear as quietly as possible “Please don’t tell them I shit on the floor. Please don’t tell them I shit on the floor! Tell them you’re sick!”

I went back to my classroom and just expected the principal to call me out of class at any minute, but they never did. Jimmy was a stand-up guy. And so was I.

**Easy 6** · 03-21-2015, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO

My experiences in life range from growing up in armourdale to crack houses in juniper gardens to the outlaws west side Chicago clubhouse to a wedding thatcost well over ten million dollars that I sat at the family table for.

Beat that ****ers

I once shot my way into that crackhouse with a 38 revolver and another pistol hidden up my sleeve that I slung into action outside of my jacket...

The girl I was after didn't even want me, go figure...

But I'm here to save you Sauto, lets go before these weirdos mount a counterattack...

**J Diddy** · 03-21-2015, 07:54 PM

July 4, 1992

My mother had been battling cancer for about 1.5 years and we all knew the end was near. I was almost 18 and like a typical teenager I was bound to celebrate the holiday with friends. However, on a crazy whim I decided to go visit Mom at the hospital before going out.

Much to the disappointment of my friend who rode along with and had to wait many hours in the hall I sat there with my mother, watched the fireworks from out of the hospital windows at St. Johns and had the goodbye talk.

I'll never forget that night. At 17 everyone is out to get you but after that I knew that my mother loved me. For 3 hours we watched fireworks and I probably cried buckets but it didn't matter. When I left she went into a coma 2 hours later and passed away on the 7th.

**SAUTO** · 03-21-2015, 07:54 PM

Sauto never needs saving, I'm the captain.

**SAUTO** · 03-21-2015, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy

July 4, 1992

My mother had been battling cancer for about 1.5 years and we all knew the end was near. I was almost 18 and like a typical teenager I was bound to celebrate the holiday with friends. However, on a crazy whim I decided to go visit Mom at the hospital before going out.

Much to the disappointment of my friend who rode along with and had to wait many hours in the hall I sat there with my mother, watched the fireworks from out of the hospital windows at St. Johns and had the goodbye talk.

I'll never forget that night. At 17 everyone is out to get you but after that I knew that my mother loved me. For 3 hours we watched fireworks and I probably cried buckets but it didn't matter. When I left she went into a coma 2 hours later and passed away on the 7th.

rip. If he was a real friend he understood.

**J Diddy** · 03-21-2015, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO

rip. If he was a real friend he understood.

He did. In fact never said a word about it.

**SAUTO** · 03-21-2015, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy

He did. In fact never said a word about it.

True. That's a true friend

**Iowanian** · 03-21-2015, 08:14 PM

That isn't a story, that is a cliff note, mr lug nut. Details dam it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO

My experiences in life range from growing up in armourdale to crack houses in juniper gardens to the outlaws west side Chicago clubhouse to a wedding thatcost well over ten million dollars that I sat at the family table for.

Beat that ****ers

rabblerouser · 03-21-2015, 08:18 PM

I'm still alive.

**SAUTO** · 03-21-2015, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

That isn't a story, that is a cliff note, mr lug nut. Details dam it.

We've met before, if we ever meet again I'll tell em all.
most won't ever believe them.

Hell I've had George Clinton in the back seat of a ford Taurus after a concert with four other guys and me running around the projects trying to score. His security want too happy when we showed back up.

ThaVirus · 03-21-2015, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Seahawk

As he was climbing in he had one leg on the tower and the other still on the deck, my wife is hugging his leg trying to pull the boat back towards the dock. It was a real thrill for her...

I'll bet...

Chiefs4TheWin · 03-21-2015, 08:54 PM

I'll categorize this as an everlasting disdain story. I'll never forgive this person lol.

In 4th grade, I had a teacher named Mr. Bridges. Guy was a towering monster. 6'6 or so, being a 4th grader, guy was intimidating as hell.

Anyways, a classmate of mine lifted up a girl in my classes dress, then blamed me for it.

During lunch this hulking sob calls me up to the teachers table. He asks "did you lift up whats her names dress?" I'm like "I have no idea what your talking about."

As soon as I finished that sentence he reaches out and grabs me by the throat, pulls me right up to his face, and asks the question again. Out of sheer terror I say yes.

I spent every recess from then till 6th grade facing a brick wall. He made sure my life was miserable every chance he got. He never told my parents, and for some reason neither did I. He made sure every teacher knew what I "had done"

I now work for that school district, every time I visit the elementary school I have to see his name on a plaque of retired teachers who "promoted amazing achievements" etc etc.

I wanna rip that plate off more than anything ever. If I ever met the guy again and knew it was him, I would , swear to god, nail him right in the face. I have never been in a fight before or been aggressive towards anyone. That would seriously end if i ever ran into that despicable human being ever.

Oh well fun times!

**SAUTO** · 03-21-2015, 08:57 PM

My dad would have ****ed that teacher up.

He always told me if they wanna whoop me he best be there or he's whopping them.

Chiefs4TheWin · 03-21-2015, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO

My dad would have ****ed that teacher up.

He always told me if they wanna whoop me he best be there or he's whopping them.

Funny enough just found him on Facebook lol. This revelation and alcohol may not mix.

03-20-2015, 10:01 AM
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4778454	Your best Story Tell us your best story. Your best day, the wildest thing you've seen, an event in your life. I'm looking for the story that defines your life, the one you'd tell your grandkids around a campfire, the one you and your old friends re-tell half a box of beer into a night. Tell us about the time you saw your dad kill a bear with his case knife, the day you won the lottery, the turd that was born with your child, the day your grandpa took you fishing.....good, bad, ugly. Your best story. The only rule, it has to be true to the best of your memory. Go.
Posts: 61,525

03-21-2015, 07:41 PM	#106
SAUTO Shit Join Date: Jun 2008 Casino cash: $10039067	My experiences in life range from growing up in armourdale to crack houses in juniper gardens to the outlaws west side Chicago clubhouse to a wedding thatcost well over ten million dollars that I sat at the family table for. Beat that ****ers
Posts: 55,715

03-21-2015, 07:46 PM	#107
TinyEvel Just a li'l Evel Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Bald. Goatee. Jorts. Casino cash: $5427131	When I was in fifth grade I had a friend named Jimmy Guiliamo. He was a chubby Italian kid who moved to L.A. from Chicago. He was kind of an idiot but seemed to be the only kid on the block who would take bigger risks than me, so we became fast friends and were always getting into trouble. We were in separate classes, but would schedule synced times to get bathroom hall passes, and we’d meet up out by the gym and do stupid things like shoot slingshots at birds and low-level vandalization like dipping wads of toilet paper into the sink and tossing them up and sticking them to the bathroom ceiling. One afternoon we’re doing the latter, trying to cover one whole ceiling tile with toilet paper when Jimmy says, “I dare you to shit on the floor.” Now, the last thing (or the first thing) you want to do is dare me to do something, because I’d surely do it (point in case: my childhood hero is Evel Knievel). So I go into the stall, face the toilet, drop my Toughskins and proceed to squat. The unfamiliar posture took me a few seconds to get moving, but I eventually produced a long, dangling stinky tail. But I guess Jimmy was wondering what was taking so long, and he started to look under the door to see what I was up to. That’s when the Dookie hit the deck right in front of his face, with a resounding slap like a mackerel being tossed onto a dock. I wipe up and exit the stall with the proud smile of an accomplished dare-taker. Jimmy at this point is laughing hysterically. And by hysterically I mean maniacally. Like a crazy person or a comic book villain, it was like giant green HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! was scribbled across the room in front of his face. But gradually, his laughter turned. His smile began to flatten. His eyebrows slid down his forehead and hooded his eyes in a worried, terrified stare. The “HA!”s were slowing down. Something was wrong. Something wasn’t so funny any more. Like the Nazi in the bowler and round glasses at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jimmy began to realize that all hell was about to break loose. No more HA!s. Now just a few coughs. And then. Barf. Lots and lots of barf. I was lucky enough that he turned towards the sinks before his lunch exited his face at 35 miles per hour. Must’ve been pizza because he painted the sinks pink. He wipes his mouth on his sleeve and says ‘I gotta see the nurse” and heads for the exit. I’m thinking he’s gonna rat me out for dropping a deck deuce, so I try to stop him. But he gets out the door first and pukes again. He’s now shuffling as fast as he can towards the office, a fast walk across the schoolyard, and he looks like he’s gonna pass out. These three girls are standing under a tree, and he levels himself on it, one says “are you ok?” And he BARFS AGAIN right there at their feet.” They all shriek in disgust and run away. Jimmy continues to amble towards the offices and I’m skipping along next to him yelling into his ear as quietly as possible “Please don’t tell them I shit on the floor. Please don’t tell them I shit on the floor! Tell them you’re sick!” I went back to my classroom and just expected the principal to call me out of class at any minute, but they never did. Jimmy was a stand-up guy. And so was I.
Posts: 11,809

03-21-2015, 07:54 PM	#109
J Diddy Don't Be A Dick Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Joplin Casino cash: $6927192	July 4, 1992 My mother had been battling cancer for about 1.5 years and we all knew the end was near. I was almost 18 and like a typical teenager I was bound to celebrate the holiday with friends. However, on a crazy whim I decided to go visit Mom at the hospital before going out. Much to the disappointment of my friend who rode along with and had to wait many hours in the hall I sat there with my mother, watched the fireworks from out of the hospital windows at St. Johns and had the goodbye talk. I'll never forget that night. At 17 everyone is out to get you but after that I knew that my mother loved me. For 3 hours we watched fireworks and I probably cried buckets but it didn't matter. When I left she went into a coma 2 hours later and passed away on the 7th.
Posts: 33,637

03-21-2015, 07:54 PM	#110
SAUTO Shit Join Date: Jun 2008 Casino cash: $10039067	Sauto never needs saving, I'm the captain.
Posts: 55,715

03-21-2015, 08:18 PM	#115
rabblerouser left blank intentionally Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Belize Nuts Casino cash: $4694897	I'm still alive. __________________ MY ADOPT-A-CHIEF : Jody Fortson Jr.
Posts: 32,166

03-21-2015, 08:54 PM	#118
Chiefs4TheWin Veteran Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Hollidaysburg, PA Casino cash: $3472783	I'll categorize this as an everlasting disdain story. I'll never forgive this person lol. In 4th grade, I had a teacher named Mr. Bridges. Guy was a towering monster. 6'6 or so, being a 4th grader, guy was intimidating as hell. Anyways, a classmate of mine lifted up a girl in my classes dress, then blamed me for it. During lunch this hulking sob calls me up to the teachers table. He asks "did you lift up whats her names dress?" I'm like "I have no idea what your talking about." As soon as I finished that sentence he reaches out and grabs me by the throat, pulls me right up to his face, and asks the question again. Out of sheer terror I say yes. I spent every recess from then till 6th grade facing a brick wall. He made sure my life was miserable every chance he got. He never told my parents, and for some reason neither did I. He made sure every teacher knew what I "had done" I now work for that school district, every time I visit the elementary school I have to see his name on a plaque of retired teachers who "promoted amazing achievements" etc etc. I wanna rip that plate off more than anything ever. If I ever met the guy again and knew it was him, I would , swear to god, nail him right in the face. I have never been in a fight before or been aggressive towards anyone. That would seriously end if i ever ran into that despicable human being ever. Oh well fun times!
Posts: 4,013

03-21-2015, 08:57 PM	#119
SAUTO Shit Join Date: Jun 2008 Casino cash: $10039067	My dad would have ****ed that teacher up. He always told me if they wanna whoop me he best be there or he's whopping them.
Posts: 55,715