Poop This sucks..Divorce. What is the best Online "D" site to use? - Page 3

Holladay · 10:35 PM

Been married for 24 yrs. 2 kids (18 son and 20 daughter), he is going Ks Nat Guard/KU(Pit St) ROTC route to be an officer, she graduates in 3 yrs, major int'l studies (whatever that is) minor bus minor soc.

Wife is German, met whilst in the Army Frankfurt. Did Desert Storm etc . Left Army as Capt and started my own bus. You look back, the hand writing is on the wall.

To get married, I called the Justice of the Peace in E-town (outside Ft Knox)..what does it take to get married. 30 min, $50. Put me down for 1:00pm next day. Next call was to an attourney...what does it take to get divorced. Uncontested...$200 and 30 min. Done. Married..1992.

She is a firecracker...good and bad. Smart and a Neat Freak. Through the yrs there have been many issues. Won't go into them yet. Asked a client which happens to be a Judge, years ago about keeping the kids (after wife went weirdo and put her hand through a glass window). Judge said no way to get kids???

Years flash forward. Stuff happens...small. We have talked D.

Last couple points. She was away in Germany for a month. She is, as mentioned before, a neat freak. I built a stairway into her loft (major deal), sweep, mop, dust, the whole house...cleaned the toilets. First thing she says when she comes home was "you didn't clean the microwave".

Last night, I asked if we could snuggle for a bit. ( We don't sleep in the same room, I snore) She didn't answer, later went up to her room and she is watching a internet German Soap Opera in bed. I asked which is more important...soap or snuggle. Soap. Last straw.

Thus this post.

So, this type of stuff has happened through years and am done. I have 20 yrs left (aged 52) and don't want to do this anymore...

She doesn't love me, I want to and do...but can't. 2 way street. Thus the D word.

Really don't want it to get nasty, nor her. I found a on-line D site. You fill out the forms and take it to a judge.

Which is the best one?

I wanna have fun my next 20 yrs( sex 3 times thus far this year

) , not be bitched at. Kids are gone, thus that issue is mute.

Thoughts?

Sorry, I need to see Jamal have more carries to see if he can carry the rock full time. NOW it is a football thread.

Thanks

Mojo Jojo · 10-19-2016, 05:24 AM

Get an attorney. Better safe than sorry,

tmax63 · 10-19-2016, 05:40 AM

I have never once heard any of my friends say "boy I wish I hadn't wasted that money on a lawyer for my divorce". On the other hand I've heard "that bitch and her lawyer took me to the cleaners" by a lot of them. Choose your camp. If it really is that agreeable then it won't take as much of your lawyer's time and your money and if things get twisted you've got help.

MIAdragon · 10-19-2016, 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cave Johnson

You've heard of the phrase penny wise and pound foolish, right?

If he's fine with her keeping hers and him keeping his then no need for lawyers (at the initial filling anyway). The state gov site will have the documents you need to print and fill out. If she decides to get cray and go to mediation then lawyer up. Good luck bud go get happy, it's never too late.

Marcellus · 10-19-2016, 06:07 AM

Good luck, you are doing the right thing.One of my favorite quotes is from Mike Rowe -

Quote:

What you do, who you’re with, and how you feel about the world around you, is completely up to you.

Skyy God · 10-19-2016, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Holladay

Man, thanks for your thoughts.

She is a great "business partner/family manager" with a sharp german tongue! With the kids gone...don't think I need that anymore. I was fantizing about finding another girl with "match.com". Boy, I was gonna be restrictive...that prolly would blow me outta the water from the start. lol.

But the new ADVENTURE. I haven't had that for 25 yrs.

I'm thinking, she knows what is going on. She has a bunch of assets in Germany. 50/50. She doesn't want to loss those. I don't want them. Kids gone...easy. Show her the online docs...discuss..sign.

If she pulls a Linda Blair (Exorcist for you youngsters...nice tits btw), do the attorney route.

Again, she has assets, thats the leverage.

There is no affair (other dude or duddette for me...yet), just fallen out of love.

She has expecting me to have talked to the attorney. Even has said "well, what did the attorney say".

This should be fine. I just wanted some CP ideas. If you hear of mutil gun shot deaths in lil Hiawatha, you will know it didn't go as planned. BIG JOKE. some CPer's are gonna freak. hheheh

As this is your first (and hopefully last) divorce, I can assure you there are concerns you don't know about. At least pay $500 for a good attorney to go over them with you.

Also, good luck meeting a dude on Match.

BlackHelicopters · 10-19-2016, 07:08 AM

Walk away fast. Don't look back. Give her what she wants. Easier. No regrets. Just get out.

**luv** · 10-19-2016, 07:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eDave

Why do you keep saying you have 20 years left?

We used a paralegal for ours. Real cheap. It's just paperwork. Unless there is a protracted battle, that should work for you. We settled the separation of stuff before applying.

As a paralegal, all I can say is that I hope all they did was file for you. Anything else is considered legal advice, which paralegals are not supposed to give. We are not licensed.

BWillie · 10-19-2016, 07:37 AM

Das Scheidung.

Germans have superior minds compared to the rest of the world. But they are annoying as ****. Tell her to go eat some wiener schnitzel & stomp around your house doing whatever the hell you want before they take it away. Make awesome microwave meals that explode all over the microwave while cooking them, and don't clean it up.

The guy always gets ****ed in divorces. It's bullshit.

Cordellcordell.com

ndws · 10-19-2016, 07:45 AM

Went through this very thing a few years ago.

She was from another state, we separated, and I filed locally. She needed to accrue some time back in her home state to establish residency (or something like that) before she could file for divorce there, meaning any/all court hearings would have been there.

So by filing here, it gave me some leverage to settle on our own, and only use the hearing to make it official.

It was still a pain in the ass. We settled on a cash number, then she would walk away from the house and land. Then she tried upping the number, but if we could settle and sign some documents, she didn't need to appear for the hearing...only me. So I used that as leverage to back her off her newly inflated number. If she wanted that larger amount, she could lawyer up, go to court, and fight me for it...meaning she would ultimately get less than what I was offering by time she factored in travel, lawyer fees, etc. And that worked in my favor.

You gotta talk to a lawyer before you pull the trigger. Even if its mutually agreeable, its still a good idea. They will give you some pretty good insight. In my case, we rolled the division of equity into alimony, so I got a tax break on it.

When it was all said and done, I think my lawyer charged me $900 (which included filing and court fees), and his time for drawing up the settlement, and going to court in another town, etc. Yeah, it seems like a large amount, but really...at the end of the day, that peace of mind in knowing that everything was going to be addressed and finalized made that an easy check to write.

It looks like we are in the same neck of the woods (in fact we probably know some of the same people if I had to guess), so if you want his name/number, PM me. He's over in Doniphan Co. He'll talk to you for free at first, and any time I needed to talk to him, he answered the phone and didn't tack anything on.

Weapon X · 10-19-2016, 07:48 AM

Sorry to hear about your divorce, OP.

...but I do love the phrasing of the thread title. To answer your question, I would assume Grinder is the best online D site out there, but I'm straight so idk

**Bwana** · 10-19-2016, 07:48 AM

Sorry to hear about your situation, but get an attorney just to be on the safe side. After you get this thing wrapped up, start living life again and enjoy yourself.

**ptlyon** · 10-19-2016, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Weapon X

Sorry to hear about your divorce, OP.

...but I do love the phrasing of the thread title. To answer your question, I would assume Grinder is the best online D site out there, but I'm straight so idk

Good to know

Fish · 10-19-2016, 08:33 AM

Just be careful. I understand your desire to keep it cheap and amicable. But you cannot depend on that being the case. A handwritten note in the basement isn't going to be legally binding. You're married in the US, and her assets in another country might not be so easily used as leverage once you get down to it. I'd certainly ask a lawyer before assuming it to be the case. I'm afraid I've seen too many fellas stroll into their divorce expecting a nice easy negotiable split with both sides playing nice. And $75,000 and 4 years later they're still in the process. Don't just expect her to do the nice thing because of your prior relationship, even if she currently says she would. If you can do it cheap and without lawyers, go for it. But I'd be damn sure about your legal standing before throwing caution to the wind. Seen too many good fellas waltz into that meat grinder.....

**ptlyon** · 10-19-2016, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fish

Just be careful. I understand your desire to keep it cheap and amicable. But you cannot depend on that being the case. A handwritten note in the basement isn't going to be legally binding. You're married in the US, and her assets in another country might not be so easily used as leverage once you get down to it. I'd certainly ask a lawyer before assuming it to be the case. I'm afraid I've seen too many fellas stroll into their divorce expecting a nice easy negotiable split with both sides playing nice. And $75,000 and 4 years later they're still in the process. Don't just expect her to do the nice thing because of your prior relationship, even if she currently says she would. If you can do it cheap and without lawyers, go for it. But I'd be damn sure about your legal standing before throwing caution to the wind. Seen too many good fellas waltz into that meat grinder.....

Short hand translation: Bitches be crazy

Good luck OP

Halfcan · 10-19-2016, 08:43 AM

It would be best if you can hire a lawyer together-much cheaper. If you agree on all the assets-this is the way to go.

If you hire a lawyer and then she gets one-they are only out for themselves. Billable hours. They are ****ing crooks-all of them. Charge you $100 bucks to send you a letter- $50.00 for a phone call stating - no progress. Lawyers use your emotions against you to "Win" -and in the end it cost you a lot more.

10-18-2016, 10:27 PM
Holladay Veteran Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $2629480	This sucks..Divorce. What is the best Online "D" site to use? Been married for 24 yrs. 2 kids (18 son and 20 daughter), he is going Ks Nat Guard/KU(Pit St) ROTC route to be an officer, she graduates in 3 yrs, major int'l studies (whatever that is) minor bus minor soc. Wife is German, met whilst in the Army Frankfurt. Did Desert Storm etc . Left Army as Capt and started my own bus. You look back, the hand writing is on the wall. To get married, I called the Justice of the Peace in E-town (outside Ft Knox)..what does it take to get married. 30 min, $50. Put me down for 1:00pm next day. Next call was to an attourney...what does it take to get divorced. Uncontested...$200 and 30 min. Done. Married..1992. She is a firecracker...good and bad. Smart and a Neat Freak. Through the yrs there have been many issues. Won't go into them yet. Asked a client which happens to be a Judge, years ago about keeping the kids (after wife went weirdo and put her hand through a glass window). Judge said no way to get kids??? Years flash forward. Stuff happens...small. We have talked D. Last couple points. She was away in Germany for a month. She is, as mentioned before, a neat freak. I built a stairway into her loft (major deal), sweep, mop, dust, the whole house...cleaned the toilets. First thing she says when she comes home was "you didn't clean the microwave". Last night, I asked if we could snuggle for a bit. ( We don't sleep in the same room, I snore) She didn't answer, later went up to her room and she is watching a internet German Soap Opera in bed. I asked which is more important...soap or snuggle. Soap. Last straw. Thus this post. So, this type of stuff has happened through years and am done. I have 20 yrs left (aged 52) and don't want to do this anymore... She doesn't love me, I want to and do...but can't. 2 way street. Thus the D word. Really don't want it to get nasty, nor her. I found a on-line D site. You fill out the forms and take it to a judge. Which is the best one? I wanna have fun my next 20 yrs( sex 3 times thus far this year) , not be bitched at. Kids are gone, thus that issue is mute. Thoughts? Sorry, I need to see Jamal have more carries to see if he can carry the rock full time. NOW it is a football thread. Thanks Last edited by Holladay; 10-18-2016 at 10:35 PM..
Posts: 3,582

10-19-2016, 05:24 AM	#31
Mojo Jojo Veteran Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Johnson County Casino cash: $10013802	Get an attorney. Better safe than sorry,
Posts: 3,341

10-19-2016, 05:40 AM	#32
tmax63 Veteran Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $3250400	I have never once heard any of my friends say "boy I wish I hadn't wasted that money on a lawyer for my divorce". On the other hand I've heard "that bitch and her lawyer took me to the cleaners" by a lot of them. Choose your camp. If it really is that agreeable then it won't take as much of your lawyer's time and your money and if things get twisted you've got help. __________________ An armed member of society is a citizen, an unarmed member is a subject.
Posts: 3,807

10-19-2016, 07:08 AM	#36
BlackHelicopters Spiraling down the Drain Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Dante's Ninth Circle Casino cash: $2720588	Walk away fast. Don't look back. Give her what she wants. Easier. No regrets. Just get out. __________________ "We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87
Posts: 31,664

10-19-2016, 07:37 AM	#38
BWillie Future NBA Finals MVP Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Earth Casino cash: $2441241	Das Scheidung. Germans have superior minds compared to the rest of the world. But they are annoying as **. Tell her to go eat some wiener schnitzel & stomp around your house doing whatever the hell you want before they take it away. Make awesome microwave meals that explode all over the microwave while cooking them, and don't clean it up. The guy always gets ed in divorces. It's bullshit. Cordellcordell.com __________________ Who wants free money? Use the link below to sign up at Bovada, BetOnline, Black Chip Poker and Ignition. Contact me for private deals, spot bonuses, possible rakeback or any questions! Bovada, Ignition, BetOnline, Black Chip Poker: baldeaglepoker.com Bovada Poker is back! Get up to $500 poker deposit bonus.**
Posts: 45,948

10-19-2016, 07:45 AM	#39
ndws Starter Join Date: Oct 2012 Casino cash: $10010931	Went through this very thing a few years ago. She was from another state, we separated, and I filed locally. She needed to accrue some time back in her home state to establish residency (or something like that) before she could file for divorce there, meaning any/all court hearings would have been there. So by filing here, it gave me some leverage to settle on our own, and only use the hearing to make it official. It was still a pain in the ass. We settled on a cash number, then she would walk away from the house and land. Then she tried upping the number, but if we could settle and sign some documents, she didn't need to appear for the hearing...only me. So I used that as leverage to back her off her newly inflated number. If she wanted that larger amount, she could lawyer up, go to court, and fight me for it...meaning she would ultimately get less than what I was offering by time she factored in travel, lawyer fees, etc. And that worked in my favor. You gotta talk to a lawyer before you pull the trigger. Even if its mutually agreeable, its still a good idea. They will give you some pretty good insight. In my case, we rolled the division of equity into alimony, so I got a tax break on it. When it was all said and done, I think my lawyer charged me $900 (which included filing and court fees), and his time for drawing up the settlement, and going to court in another town, etc. Yeah, it seems like a large amount, but really...at the end of the day, that peace of mind in knowing that everything was going to be addressed and finalized made that an easy check to write. It looks like we are in the same neck of the woods (in fact we probably know some of the same people if I had to guess), so if you want his name/number, PM me. He's over in Doniphan Co. He'll talk to you for free at first, and any time I needed to talk to him, he answered the phone and didn't tack anything on. __________________ Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. -Benjamin Franklin
Posts: 416

10-19-2016, 07:48 AM	#40
Weapon X Starter Join Date: Sep 2016 Location: Alkali Lake Casino cash: $10000400	Sorry to hear about your divorce, OP. ...but I do love the phrasing of the thread title. To answer your question, I would assume Grinder is the best online D site out there, but I'm straight so idk
Posts: 117

10-19-2016, 07:48 AM	#41
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2139553647	Sorry to hear about your situation, but get an attorney just to be on the safe side. After you get this thing wrapped up, start living life again and enjoy yourself. __________________ Adventure is dangerous....but monotony can kill you.
Posts: 69,740

10-19-2016, 08:33 AM	#43
Fish Ain't no relax! Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $2288919	Just be careful. I understand your desire to keep it cheap and amicable. But you cannot depend on that being the case. A handwritten note in the basement isn't going to be legally binding. You're married in the US, and her assets in another country might not be so easily used as leverage once you get down to it. I'd certainly ask a lawyer before assuming it to be the case. I'm afraid I've seen too many fellas stroll into their divorce expecting a nice easy negotiable split with both sides playing nice. And $75,000 and 4 years later they're still in the process. Don't just expect her to do the nice thing because of your prior relationship, even if she currently says she would. If you can do it cheap and without lawyers, go for it. But I'd be damn sure about your legal standing before throwing caution to the wind. Seen too many good fellas waltz into that meat grinder..... __________________
Posts: 47,515

10-19-2016, 08:43 AM	#45
Halfcan In Search of a Life Join Date: Aug 2005 Casino cash: $7327995	It would be best if you can hire a lawyer together-much cheaper. If you agree on all the assets-this is the way to go. If you hire a lawyer and then she gets one-they are only out for themselves. Billable hours. They are ****ing crooks-all of them. Charge you $100 bucks to send you a letter- $50.00 for a phone call stating - no progress. Lawyers use your emotions against you to "Win" -and in the end it cost you a lot more.
Posts: 43,200