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Old 08-05-2014, 07:47 PM   Topic Starter
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My boyfriend of 4 years doesn't want to get married because of reddit
http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromoso...t_want_to_get/

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For all of my life I always thought I would get married one day and have children. When I met my boyfriend I was sure that he was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Things between us were great we moved in together after 6 months of dating and things were great. My boyfriend compared to other guys I dated had the best clean up habits, and we never argued about chores or any of that stuff.

We started making wedding plans however, every time we would set a time frame or so he would back off. I talked to my friends and family they told me to just give him space and that things will sort themselves out. I took a more hands off approach however, that didn't work either. I eventually confronted him if we are ever going to get married and he told me it will be a couple months after his younger sister's wedding.

I was ecstatic, and I started making plans on who would be my bridesmaids, where it would be, all the little details. However, when time started to roll around he told me that he is up for getting married he just doesn't want the legal trouble. He told me that he is okay with having a wedding ceremony, but we would not be getting a marriage contract.

I fought with him a lot on this, we argued and basically his fears are that he will end up like spreadsheet husband, or I would divorce him and ruin him financially. I asked him if he would accept getting a prenup, but he told me no, that those can be thrown out. He never had these fears of marriage until reddit. He has read a lot of the men's rights sections and they have convinced him that marriage is horrible.

I don't know what to do now, had I known this was his position earlier I would never have stayed with him. I don't want to be someone's girlfriend when I am 40,50. I want to have the respect of being his wife. I want to know that he will give me and our future family the commitment of marriage. As of now, my options are rather bleak.

a). Go along with his deal, have a wedding but no marriage. and hope for the best.

b). Look to try to find someone new in my 30s and get married and have kids in an extremely short and rushed time line.

c). Try to find someone, end up alone and never get to experience motherhood.

If you ladies have any tips for me please share.
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Old 08-05-2014, 07:48 PM   #2
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Old 08-05-2014, 07:50 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Big Smoke View Post
I always knew you were teh gay.
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Old 08-05-2014, 07:59 PM   #4
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Solid gif response.

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Old 08-05-2014, 11:18 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by KCtotheSB View Post
Solid gif response.

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haha. yep. I avoided going with a gay accusation response because I knew Clay would have something ready to go as a retort.
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Old 08-05-2014, 07:51 PM   #6
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Probably should have changed the title a little bit.
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Old 08-05-2014, 07:53 PM   #7
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Once they start living together for a specific amount of time they become legally married anyway.
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:15 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Guru View Post
Once they start living together for a specific amount of time they become legally married anyway.
Depends on the state.

I know the guys feeling. I have the same exact fears.
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:17 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by hometeam View Post
Depends on the state.

I know the guys feeling. I have the same exact fears.
Yep, its not like that here in Cali. They dont give a shit how long you been living together. Your only married, if your well go get married.
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:24 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Guru View Post
Once they start living together for a specific amount of time they become legally married anyway.
Not every state recognizes common law marriage, and it's typically 7 years of uninterrupted cohabitation.
Most states now require both persons publicly have held out that they view themselves as "married" - essentially a meeting of the minds like in contract law, as opposed to a tolling clause based upon a time of duration.
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Old 08-06-2014, 08:17 AM   #11
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Once they start living together for a specific amount of time they become legally married anyway.
This
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Old 08-05-2014, 07:53 PM   #12
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Old 08-05-2014, 07:54 PM   #13
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She sounds annoying.
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Old 08-05-2014, 07:55 PM   #14
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They should split. Option B for her!
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Old 08-05-2014, 07:58 PM   #15
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He obviously doesn't trust her, so she shouldn't trust him. I say split.
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