Life Depression...

munkey · 12-14-2012, 08:36 PM

How do you deal with it?

Prison Bitch · 12-14-2012, 08:37 PM

Chiefs games.

CoMoChief · 12-14-2012, 08:39 PM

I agree.....the Matt Cassel Comedy Show cheers me right up.

**Bugeater** · 12-14-2012, 08:40 PM

Do something fun.

munkey · 12-14-2012, 08:40 PM

I'm talking suicide depression...I could give a shit about the Matt Casshole or the chiefs...

**mdchiefsfan** · 12-14-2012, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Argo

maybe he was just asking how other people specifically deal with it?

This post has me thinking otherwise:

Quote:

Originally Posted by munkey

I'm talking suicide depression...I could give a shit about the Matt Casshole or the chiefs...

**ChiTown** · 12-14-2012, 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by munkey

I'm talking suicide depression...I could give a shit about the Matt Casshole or the chiefs...

We are here for you, bro. Seriously, there's not a damn thing we won't do for you. First, call that number. Then, lets talk it out

**1ChiefsDan** · 12-15-2012, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by munkey

I'm talking suicide depression...I could give a shit about the Matt Casshole or the chiefs...

I handle it with counseling and Lexapro. Going on almost 2 years without and incident.

Rasputin · 12-15-2012, 12:44 PM

Hope I'm not boring anyone. That seems to be a lot of text to read, not use to writing that much.

I was feeling good about myself & sporting a new

tattoo on my arm I got in mexico. It was funny on the trip people came up to me and wanted to buy my Chiefs hat off my head. I sold my hat for fifty bucks and that is like 500 dollars in Mexico. I wanted to go back to Mexico & sell NFL hats.

Another year went by and in 2008 my back was just hurting so bad I decided I couldn't handle the pressure of route work and had to call it quits. With out telling my wife I switched jobs and worked nights with handicap person of need. My wife was not happy as we took a pay cut along with paying so much in child support. We both felt at the time it was best if I moved out and we get a divorce. It was another blow to the ego to have failed two marrages. We stayed friends tho over the years. Stress of it all was just getting me down. I moved into a shitty appartment but started work more hours and got a new GF.

My new girl friend at the time let me move in with her and again Scotch was my best friend. Typically I would find girls that didn't seem to have a problem with me drinking. My kids didn't seem to care for her & my depression came back so I wanted to live on my own for a while. I got my own place but I wanted to still see my girl friend. I was working mad hours to keep a roof over my head & stress was overwhelming me. Worse than depression is stress I think for me. I just don't handle the stress of paying all the bills & child support and working 120 to 140 hours a week. That stress got to me the day after I drank before my work. My GF came by my place to see how I was doing and she saw I wasn't doing good and wanted to take me to the hospital. This is a night in November of 08. On the way to the hospital I wanted to jump out of the car. She pulled me in & yelled at me. She checked me into the behavior unit in Salina. My head was spinning and agian everything cloudy. I looked for any opportunity to end myself. In the bathroom I wrapped a cord around my neck. My GF was outside the door so I waited for another opportunity.

They put me in a room to myself, gave me some paper and a pencel to write with for me to write what was bothering me. In the morning I had tryed to use that pencel to push a hole in my wrist. I was making a cross but pushed as hard as I could to puncture the skin when staff walked in. Again with the angels I guess?

This was 8 years after my first attempts at it.

Break.

**Rausch** · 12-15-2012, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KC Tattoo

They put me in a room to myself, gave me some paper and a pencel to write with for me to write what was bothering me. In the morning I had tryed to use that pencel to push a hole in my wrist. I was making a cross but pushed as hard as I could to puncture the skin when staff walked in. Again with the angels I guess?

This was 8 years after my first attempts at it.

Break.

Thank Christ!

Long story short you're not as good or bad as you think you are.

Life sucks, hard, you outlast it.

If you're ever in doubt ask Gene...

Rasputin · 12-15-2012, 01:29 PM

I'm just trying to get to the hope part as that is what is important in my life, having hope.

I spent at least five days there as they ballanced out the meds they put me on and set me up with therapy. Also a Dr. for my depression pills. I think he used me as a guinny pig. He put me on Geodon shit. The dosage he put me on made my muscles contract or have an affect on the body much like having parkinsons for a day. That freaked me out. If I took another dose of it I really could have been ****ed up or dead. The Dr. backed off the prescription of it but I worked at getting off of them. I did continue to take trazadone to help sleep and with the back pain.

I continued to be depressed & stressed for another year and since I lost the amount of hours I was working only could work 40 hours I ended up homeless. Even though I was working I could not afford a place on my own. I lived out of my mini van and also at the homeless shelter. That sucked. I dealt with it all the time thinking suicide. I apparently suck at succeeding so I got by just doing what I could do to survive. I continued to drink and go to AA for spells to get a couple months sober and drink again. I had a good sponcer but didn't call him much.

A couple miracals had to happen for me to wake up. I got a new job with another handicap agency september of 09. My dad was passing away and I spent the night with him in his room & in the morning I got to see the love he had for me in his eyes & it was something I hadn't fealt in a long time. I fealt a spiritual connection that would stay with me. I knew then I had to change my thinking somehow. I didn't want those creapy thoughts in my head. Upon his passing I did go out that weekend with my brother and cousin to remanence the old good times growing up. The bar closed early and I ended up taking a handful of trazadone because I didn't want to quit drinking. That was a horible mix as it made me throw up blood. THat was the last time I drank October 4 2009.

All this time I just wanted to be there for my kids I just wanted to be DAD. I fealt much of that was taken away but for the most part it was my own doing. Now three months sober I had to make a choice. I was determined to put my past behind and made a decision not to be depressed & Much of that had to do with having the opportunity to be DAD to my daughter again after she was taken out of her moms do to shit with her step dad. Instead of killing him like I wanted too, I turned my selfesh ass around and from help got my own place so she could live with me. It took another 6 months but I was happy the day we got to go home together and I have done my damndest to be the best father I can be to her and also my son. I am happy about that and hold no regret. Not easy at all dealing with a teen full of anger either. I don't blame her she has every right to be for what she went through. Also it wasn't about me any more. I am at my best to help others and especially being here for my kids.

I just don't want to go through the hell to get to this point again. We are a happy family now with our struggles. I am determined not to let those struggles get me down. This is why I tell my story.

**Shogun** · 12-14-2012, 08:42 PM

Discuss Thrower · 12-14-2012, 08:43 PM

You don't.

Chiefnj2 · 12-14-2012, 08:43 PM

1. Write down this number: 1-800-273-8255
2. Log off CP and call the number.

HonestChieffan · 12-14-2012, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chiefnj2

1. Write down this number: 1-800-273-8255
2. Log off CP and call the number.

This. Dont do whatever you are thinking

12-14-2012, 08:36 PM	Topic Starter
munkey Veteran Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Bend Oregon Casino cash: $10007596	Depression... How do you deal with it?
Posts: 3,140

12-14-2012, 08:37 PM	#2
Prison Bitch Rabbi Goldmann Join Date: Nov 2012 Casino cash: $5450159	Chiefs games.
Posts: 87,025

12-14-2012, 08:39 PM	#3
CoMoChief Mahomes Dynasty Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Parts Unknown Casino cash: $8052254	I agree.....the Matt Cassel Comedy Show cheers me right up. __________________
Posts: 39,156

12-14-2012, 08:40 PM	#4
Bugeater The Maintenance Guy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate Casino cash: $6252680	Do something fun.
Posts: 70,443

12-14-2012, 08:40 PM	#5
munkey Veteran Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Bend Oregon Casino cash: $10007596	I'm talking suicide depression...I could give a shit about the Matt Casshole or the chiefs... __________________ "In the time of chimpanzees I was a munkey"
Posts: 3,140

12-15-2012, 12:44 PM	#9
Rasputin Tip of the hat LIV Champs Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: ks Casino cash: $3485421	Hope I'm not boring anyone. That seems to be a lot of text to read, not use to writing that much. I was feeling good about myself & sporting a new tattoo on my arm I got in mexico. It was funny on the trip people came up to me and wanted to buy my Chiefs hat off my head. I sold my hat for fifty bucks and that is like 500 dollars in Mexico. I wanted to go back to Mexico & sell NFL hats. Another year went by and in 2008 my back was just hurting so bad I decided I couldn't handle the pressure of route work and had to call it quits. With out telling my wife I switched jobs and worked nights with handicap person of need. My wife was not happy as we took a pay cut along with paying so much in child support. We both felt at the time it was best if I moved out and we get a divorce. It was another blow to the ego to have failed two marrages. We stayed friends tho over the years. Stress of it all was just getting me down. I moved into a shitty appartment but started work more hours and got a new GF. My new girl friend at the time let me move in with her and again Scotch was my best friend. Typically I would find girls that didn't seem to have a problem with me drinking. My kids didn't seem to care for her & my depression came back so I wanted to live on my own for a while. I got my own place but I wanted to still see my girl friend. I was working mad hours to keep a roof over my head & stress was overwhelming me. Worse than depression is stress I think for me. I just don't handle the stress of paying all the bills & child support and working 120 to 140 hours a week. That stress got to me the day after I drank before my work. My GF came by my place to see how I was doing and she saw I wasn't doing good and wanted to take me to the hospital. This is a night in November of 08. On the way to the hospital I wanted to jump out of the car. She pulled me in & yelled at me. She checked me into the behavior unit in Salina. My head was spinning and agian everything cloudy. I looked for any opportunity to end myself. In the bathroom I wrapped a cord around my neck. My GF was outside the door so I waited for another opportunity. They put me in a room to myself, gave me some paper and a pencel to write with for me to write what was bothering me. In the morning I had tryed to use that pencel to push a hole in my wrist. I was making a cross but pushed as hard as I could to puncture the skin when staff walked in. Again with the angels I guess? This was 8 years after my first attempts at it. Break. __________________ A Brave Man Once Requested Me To Answer Questions That Are Key 'Is It To Be Or Not To Be' And I Replied Oh Why Ask Me
Posts: 54,962

12-15-2012, 01:29 PM	#11
Rasputin Tip of the hat LIV Champs Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: ks Casino cash: $3485421	I'm just trying to get to the hope part as that is what is important in my life, having hope. I spent at least five days there as they ballanced out the meds they put me on and set me up with therapy. Also a Dr. for my depression pills. I think he used me as a guinny pig. He put me on Geodon shit. The dosage he put me on made my muscles contract or have an affect on the body much like having parkinsons for a day. That freaked me out. If I took another dose of it I really could have been ****ed up or dead. The Dr. backed off the prescription of it but I worked at getting off of them. I did continue to take trazadone to help sleep and with the back pain. I continued to be depressed & stressed for another year and since I lost the amount of hours I was working only could work 40 hours I ended up homeless. Even though I was working I could not afford a place on my own. I lived out of my mini van and also at the homeless shelter. That sucked. I dealt with it all the time thinking suicide. I apparently suck at succeeding so I got by just doing what I could do to survive. I continued to drink and go to AA for spells to get a couple months sober and drink again. I had a good sponcer but didn't call him much. A couple miracals had to happen for me to wake up. I got a new job with another handicap agency september of 09. My dad was passing away and I spent the night with him in his room & in the morning I got to see the love he had for me in his eyes & it was something I hadn't fealt in a long time. I fealt a spiritual connection that would stay with me. I knew then I had to change my thinking somehow. I didn't want those creapy thoughts in my head. Upon his passing I did go out that weekend with my brother and cousin to remanence the old good times growing up. The bar closed early and I ended up taking a handful of trazadone because I didn't want to quit drinking. That was a horible mix as it made me throw up blood. THat was the last time I drank October 4 2009. All this time I just wanted to be there for my kids I just wanted to be DAD. I fealt much of that was taken away but for the most part it was my own doing. Now three months sober I had to make a choice. I was determined to put my past behind and made a decision not to be depressed & Much of that had to do with having the opportunity to be DAD to my daughter again after she was taken out of her moms do to shit with her step dad. Instead of killing him like I wanted too, I turned my selfesh ass around and from help got my own place so she could live with me. It took another 6 months but I was happy the day we got to go home together and I have done my damndest to be the best father I can be to her and also my son. I am happy about that and hold no regret. Not easy at all dealing with a teen full of anger either. I don't blame her she has every right to be for what she went through. Also it wasn't about me any more. I am at my best to help others and especially being here for my kids. I just don't want to go through the hell to get to this point again. We are a happy family now with our struggles. I am determined not to let those struggles get me down. This is why I tell my story. __________________ A Brave Man Once Requested Me To Answer Questions That Are Key 'Is It To Be Or Not To Be' And I Replied Oh Why Ask Me
Posts: 54,962

12-14-2012, 08:43 PM	#13
Discuss Thrower "You like to drink?" Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: "I like to drink." Casino cash: $3236869	You don't. __________________ Chiefs 2016 Opponents: Home: JAX, TEN, NO, TB, NYJ. Away: HOU, IND, ATL, CAR, PIT Chiefs 2017 Opponents: Home: BUF, MIA, PHI, WSH, AFC North. Away: NE, NYJ, NYG, DAL, AFC South
Posts: 42,701

12-14-2012, 08:43 PM	#14
Chiefnj2 In Search of a Life Join Date: Mar 2007 Casino cash: $7873688	1. Write down this number: 1-800-273-8255 2. Log off CP and call the number. __________________ Mismanaging the clock.
Posts: 22,392