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Old 02-17-2017, 08:49 AM  
penguinz penguinz is offline
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F'ing Squirrels...
Changed oil in jeep last Friday. Did not drive it on Saturday. One Sunday went to drive it and was running like ass and check engine light flashing which is a sign of cylinder misfire.

Open hood and a ****ing squirrel had built a nest. Almost completely filled with leaves and sticks.

Bastard chewed through the electrical connector to one of the fuel injectors.

All squirrels need to die.

The end.
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Old 02-17-2017, 12:46 PM   #16
Buehler445 Buehler445 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
A squirrel missed a branch outside my house a couple of years back and fell onto the concrete. He was unconscious and a house guest told me distraughtly. I wasn't sure what to do, so I made a little stretcher out of a paint roller pan and towel, and moved him from the front yard to the back yard, where at least he wouldn't be vulnerable to cats and dogs and bikes. I wasn't sure what I'd do if he didn't recover, but a couple of hours later than stretcher was empty and the squirrel was very friendly to me after that. I think it's always good to have allies.
The correct answer is hit him in the head with a hammer and toss him (in a bag) in the garbage.
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Old 02-17-2017, 12:47 PM   #17
Buehler445 Buehler445 is offline
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Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO View Post
I knew exactly what this thread was about before I ever opened it.

You got lucky it was just that
Right. We have an old 62 Ford truck. Goddamned raccoon got up there and made a nest. He tore EVERY wire off that damn thing. Battery cables and all.

Like a squirrel on roids.

And don't ever let a packrat get going. **** those ****ers.
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Old 02-17-2017, 12:54 PM   #18
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Kill squirrels every chance you get. Kill them all.
22 cal pellet rifle works best.
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Old 02-17-2017, 01:03 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Buehler445 View Post
Right. We have an old 62 Ford truck. Goddamned raccoon got up there and made a nest. He tore EVERY wire off that damn thing. Battery cables and all.

Like a squirrel on roids.

And don't ever let a packrat get going. **** those ****ers.
The absolute worst. Those freaking things need to be removed from the planet.
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Old 02-17-2017, 01:50 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by Dartgod View Post
I'll bet that if squirrels had been stealing your tomatoes, you would have laughed and fed him a bowl of antifreeze instead.
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Originally Posted by Buehler445 View Post
The correct answer is hit him in the head with a hammer and toss him (in a bag) in the garbage.
Neither of those solutions would have given me a long-term tree ally.
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Old 02-17-2017, 01:52 PM   #21
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Rats with bushy tails. When I lived in an apartment, I had a balcony that I would hang Christmas lights on. Every year the ****ers would eat through the lights. I finally got a trap, caught one, and left it in there to thrash around pissing and shitting itself for days. After that, the other assholes got the message.
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Old 02-17-2017, 01:53 PM   #22
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Yeah I drop them when I see them because the little bastards eat a bunch of apples off my apple trees. One of my Dobermans hates them more than I do and always lets be know when one is running around in the trees. The dog literally a has different tone of bark when it spots a squirrel. I highly recommend these for the task, they make less noise than a pellet gun and drop them like a lead balloon.

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Old 02-17-2017, 03:20 PM   #23
penguinz penguinz is offline
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Originally Posted by Buehler445 View Post
Antifreeze?

Seriously though, get yourself a hunting dog. They'll leave you alone.
We have a field lab. Back yard has zero squirrels or rabbits. Guess I will have to start parking in back yard.
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Old 02-17-2017, 03:58 PM   #24
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How to reboot a squirrel:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa3lgb_5Aio
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Old 02-17-2017, 04:25 PM   #25
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Speaking of squirrels, how the hell are there so many squirrels yet in my 54 years of life I have never seen two squirrels screwing each other?

They must be shy little sex machines!
Maybe they go to somebodies house down the road that jerks them off and inseminates the females.
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Old 02-17-2017, 04:31 PM   #26
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Maybe they go to somebodies house down the road that jerks them off and inseminates the females.
They must have really tiny hands......
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Old 02-17-2017, 04:38 PM   #27
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I like squirrels. But they chewed the crap out of my plastic landscape lights at my old house.

New House-no squirrels. No trees. Too much construction.

There are a few threads about them.
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Old 02-17-2017, 05:24 PM   #28
cabletech94 cabletech94 is offline
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i have customers that feed those little bastards from their backyards.
then they cant understand why their lines to the house are constantly being chewed on........
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Old 02-17-2017, 05:43 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
A squirrel missed a branch outside my house a couple of years back and fell onto the concrete. He was unconscious and a house guest told me distraughtly. I wasn't sure what to do, so I made a little stretcher out of a paint roller pan and towel, and moved him from the front yard to the back yard, where at least he wouldn't be vulnerable to cats and dogs and bikes. I wasn't sure what I'd do if he didn't recover, but a couple of hours later than stretcher was empty and the squirrel was very friendly to me after that. I think it's always good to have allies.
Are you also the president of PETA ?
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Old 02-17-2017, 06:54 PM   #30
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Hating on squirrels always reminds me of the father of one of my (least favorite) ex-GFs. He lived in a house in the woods in Wisconsin, and was a bird lover. Had a couple of feeders, and the squirrels would always eat all the bird seed, which made him progressively angrier and crazier. He'd sit outside with a pellet gun on weekends and shoot squirrels all day long - sometimes he'd get 20 or 30 of them in a day. And of course, being in the woods in Wisconsin, for every squirrel he killed, five more would take it's place.

I dumped his psychotic bitch daughter back in 1990 - I wonder if he's still at it?
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