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Old 07-05-2013, 10:50 AM   Topic Starter
rico rico is offline
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The Pussification of the American Male Demonstrated by a Longass, Boring ****ing Post

Dear Chiefsplaneteers,

I need help. When it comes to dressing myself and looking cool in doing so, I struggle. I've been told the last few years that I dress nicely, but this is ONLY because my wife picks out my outfits for me.

Over the years, I've literally had to learn the hard way about apparent fashion "no-no's" by someone pointing out to me how stupid I looked by wearing certain combinations of clothing. In every single one of these instances, I had already worn that clothing combo SEVERAL times and spent the rest of the day thinking about how many people had thought I looked stupid as hell over the years for dressing that way.

Examples:

A.) I had a girlfriend in high school, who prior to leaving my house for the county fair (ugh), she INSISTED that I did not wear Doc Martin boots with shorts and that I changed into either some jeans or put some sandals on.

B.) We had a freaking exchange student from Brazil who had a better sense of our culture's fashion than I do. The first week he lived with us, he said to me, "why do you do this, wearing your socks with sandals? I think this is kind of weird." I was like, "oh, I think that's how we do it in the U.S.A." He was like, "no, it isn't." He was right.

C.) I had another girlfriend in high school who insisted that I did not wear navy blue and black together.

D.) In my first Senior year of college (I had 2 of them), we arrived at this club and one of my best friends was like, "dude I think it's the funniest thing in the world that every time you wear a black dress shirt, you also wear a brown belt and brown loafers with it." I was like, "what's wrong with that?" He was like, "dude, that is a HUGE fashion no-no. Didn't you know that?!?! I never said anything to you because you are always acting like a jackass, so I figured you were doing it to be funny. Omg Swaff, you can be so stupid." And boy did I feel stupid...I had been doing that my entire life.

Obviously, dressing cool does not come naturally to me.

So, I got this thing in the mail from SI. They had an offer that I thought was freaking awesome. A one year subscription to SI and a jacket of a team of your choice for $29. You can check out the offer and the jacket here: http://www.si.com/offer29 I generally just disregard mail like this, but I decided to go through with this one and am pretty pumped about it. I'm real pumped about the jacket, for the only Chiefs jacket I have at the moment is a 1990's Starter jacket that my grandma found at a resale shop and bought for me. I don't mind it, but my wife won't be caught dead with me if I wear it, so I never wear it...I'll probably end up donating it...to the resale shop.

Here is a pic of the jacket:



Is this jacket presentable/cool enough to wear to a game or to wear out in public at the bar while watching the game? I literally don't know, I have no fashion sense and my wife is a Steelers fan, so of course she doesn't think it looks cool. Help a fashionably challenged brotha out. Thanks.

Sincerely,

rico

<3 XOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXO <3

Last edited by rico; 07-06-2013 at 11:09 AM.. Reason: All hail milkman!!!!!!!
Posts: 13,257
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