This Week's Important Florida News!

[gblowfish]

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.

[gblowfish]

This is pretty sad, actually...

A Florida mom faces multiple charges after four kids leapt from her car, because they say she was drunk behind the wheel.

Angela Woodworth, 45, had her 11-year-old son and three of his friends in her car on Tuesday night, according to the Gainesville Sun. At about 8:30 p.m., the four children were seen running into a Steak ’n’ Shake in Gainesville.

The children, who witnesses said seemed terrified, told police that Woodworth was drunk and unable to keep control of her vehicle. They said that they jumped out of the car after she hit a pole.

Woodworth made it to the Steak ’n’ Shake shortly thereafter and allegedly screamed at the kids and followed them around inside the establishment, witness Josh Kramer told News4Jax.

Police say they found receipts confirming that Woodworth bought two pitchers of beer at a bowling alley and four other drinks at a Ruby Tuesday restaurant.

She was arrested and charged with felony child neglect, marijuana possession, possession of drug paraphernalia and resisting an officer without violence. She was not, however, charged with driving under the influence.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/0...ushpmg00000022

[Rausch]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

She was arrested and charged with felony child neglect, marijuana possession, possession of drug paraphernalia and resisting an officer without violence. She was not, however, charged with driving under the influence.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/0...ushpmg00000022

[GloryDayz]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

This is pretty sad, actually...

A Florida mom faces multiple charges after four kids leapt from her car, because they say she was drunk behind the wheel.

Angela Woodworth, 45, had her 11-year-old son and three of his friends in her car on Tuesday night, according to the Gainesville Sun. At about 8:30 p.m., the four children were seen running into a Steak ’n’ Shake in Gainesville.

The children, who witnesses said seemed terrified, told police that Woodworth was drunk and unable to keep control of her vehicle. They said that they jumped out of the car after she hit a pole.

Woodworth made it to the Steak ’n’ Shake shortly thereafter and allegedly screamed at the kids and followed them around inside the establishment, witness Josh Kramer told News4Jax.

Police say they found receipts confirming that Woodworth bought two pitchers of beer at a bowling alley and four other drinks at a Ruby Tuesday restaurant.

She was arrested and charged with felony child neglect, marijuana possession, possession of drug paraphernalia and resisting an officer without violence. She was not, however, charged with driving under the influence.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/0...ushpmg00000022

Gainsville!!

[gblowfish]

Police in Florida say a 24-year-old man is accused of aggravated domestic battery after trying to circumcise his 20-month-old nephew.

The Ocala Star-Banner (http://bit.ly/1zve9rV) reports the child's father went to the grocery store Saturday evening and left his two brothers-in-law with the sleeping boy.

According to police, the child was bleeding when the father returned. Larry Leroy Floyd told the father he circumcised the boy. Floyd left the apartment and the father took his child to a hospital. His condition was not available.

Floyd remained in jail Monday morning. It wasn't known whether he has an attorney.

[seclark]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Police in Florida say a 24-year-old man is accused of aggravated domestic battery after trying to circumcise his 20-month-old nephew.

The Ocala Star-Banner (http://bit.ly/1zve9rV) reports the child's father went to the grocery store Saturday evening and left his two brothers-in-law with the sleeping boy.

According to police, the child was bleeding when the father returned. Larry Leroy Floyd told the father he circumcised the boy. Floyd left the apartment and the father took his child to a hospital. His condition was not available.

Floyd remained in jail Monday morning. It wasn't known whether he has an attorney.

?

[gblowfish]

!!!

[Rausch]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Larry Leroy Floyd told the father he circumcised the boy.

This has been or is about to be a new character on "Justified..."

[stumppy]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

This is pretty sad, actually...

A Florida mom faces multiple charges after four kids leapt from her car, because they say she was drunk behind the wheel.

Angela Woodworth, 45, had her 11-year-old son and three of his friends in her car on Tuesday night, according to the Gainesville Sun. At about 8:30 p.m., the four children were seen running into a Steak ’n’ Shake in Gainesville.

The children, who witnesses said seemed terrified, told police that Woodworth was drunk and unable to keep control of her vehicle. They said that they jumped out of the car after she hit a pole.

Woodworth made it to the Steak ’n’ Shake shortly thereafter and allegedly screamed at the kids and followed them around inside the establishment, witness Josh Kramer told News4Jax.

Police say they found receipts confirming that Woodworth bought two pitchers of beer at a bowling alley and four other drinks at a Ruby Tuesday restaurant.

She was arrested and charged with felony child neglect, marijuana possession, possession of drug paraphernalia and resisting an officer without violence. She was not, however, charged with driving under the influence.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/0...ushpmg00000022

Damn, sounds like my mom. Was involved in a similar ....uh....event when I was about 11 yrs old. Unfortunately there was nothing or nobody around except for the gravel covered pavement. Hurt like hell running barefoot on it but I made it back to where I was staying without her catching up with me.

[seclark]

~

[Eleazar]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Police in Florida say a 24-year-old man is accused of aggravated domestic battery after trying to circumcise his 20-month-old nephew.

The Ocala Star-Banner (http://bit.ly/1zve9rV) reports the child's father went to the grocery store Saturday evening and left his two brothers-in-law with the sleeping boy.

According to police, the child was bleeding when the father returned. Larry Leroy Floyd told the father he circumcised the boy. Floyd left the apartment and the father took his child to a hospital. His condition was not available.

Floyd remained in jail Monday morning. It wasn't known whether he has an attorney.

Holy ****. I can't imagine how painful that must have been.

The kid could have bled out.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Originally Posted by seclark

~

Ever use clippers to take out a swollen taste bud? Hurts like a muther****er for like 5 seconds, then it's over and no more swollen taste bud.

[seclark]

Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!

Ever use clippers to take out a swollen taste bud? Hurts like a muther****er for like 5 seconds, then it's over and no more swollen taste bud.

you must have some big buds, bud.
sec

[Fire Me Boy!]

Originally Posted by seclark

you must have some big buds, bud.
sec

Nah, it's kinda precision surgery getting that swollen bud between the blades.

[seclark]

Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!

Nah, it's kinda precision surgery getting that swollen bud between the blades.

ouch...don't tell me any more.
sec

[Fire Me Boy!]

Originally Posted by seclark

ouch...don't tell me any more.
sec

It's enough to make you get a little teary.