Poop Have you ever been so constipated that... - Page 2

MTG#10 · 06-23-2015, 07:49 AM

...you had to help it out with your finger because you were afraid you'd pink sleeve if you pushed any harder? Asking for a friend.

**Bowser** · 06-23-2015, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KCUnited

I went 7 days without shitting after having my knee reconstructed. Once the dam broke it was the most awkward shit I ever took because my knee was in a brace that wouldn't bend so I was sitting there unloading a weeks worth of shit with one leg sticking out straight.

Have you ever seen that "How To Basic" guy on YouTube? I picture you being him the first time you blew out your o-ring in a week after surgery while sitting on the pot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bishop_74

If a woman can do it... you can do it. Push you slut!

ChiliConCarnage · 06-23-2015, 10:06 AM

I've never had poopin problems.

MTG#10 · 06-23-2015, 10:29 AM

All I can say is thank God I keep a box of disposable gloves in the bathroom (for cleaning).

bishop_74 · 06-23-2015, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MTG#10

All I can say is thank God I keep a box of disposable gloves in the bathroom (for cleaning).

... for your friend.

KCUnited · 06-23-2015, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

Have you ever seen that "How To Basic" guy on YouTube? I picture you being him the first time you blew out your o-ring in a week after surgery while sitting on the pot.

I'll have to look that up, but I'm almost positive I should have qualified for an epidural.

Zebedee DuBois · 06-23-2015, 11:12 AM

The section at the
grocery store called "Produce".
Go regularly.

**TimBone** · 06-23-2015, 11:21 AM

This is the other side of having it packed in there for all those years.

Warrior5 · 06-23-2015, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MTG#10

When its already started to crown you cant really run to the store to buy these products.

So you're saying the jumper was in the door...

raybec 4 · 06-23-2015, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warrior5

So you're saying the jumper was in the door...

Sounds like the jump master needed to push him out

**Munson** · 06-23-2015, 12:15 PM

Sounds like your "friend" is just looking for an excuse to play with his balloon knot.

GloryDayz · 06-23-2015, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MTG#10

When its already started to crown you cant really run to the store to buy these products.

eDave · 06-23-2015, 12:26 PM

Do what mathematicians do; work it out with a pencil.

KC native · 06-23-2015, 02:32 PM

I have never been constipated.

Boiled Chicken · 06-23-2015, 02:38 PM

Ask your co-worker in the next stall to come over and push on your shoulders.

Chromatic · 06-23-2015, 02:50 PM

That's not even the worst kind of constipation. That's Defcon 5 constipation. Defcon 1 is when you're literally throwing up feces because you're so backed up.

Never happened to me. I only found that out because I was constipated for a week last summer and looking at the wiki made me paranoid.

06-23-2015, 07:49 AM
MTG#10 Mammoth penis Join Date: May 2006 Location: Springfield Casino cash: $7444386	Have you ever been so constipated that... ...you had to help it out with your finger because you were afraid you'd pink sleeve if you pushed any harder? Asking for a friend.
Posts: 11,432

06-23-2015, 10:06 AM	#17
ChiliConCarnage TACO SALAD Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: yes Casino cash: $1618468	I've never had poopin problems.
Posts: 5,898

06-23-2015, 10:29 AM	#18
MTG#10 Mammoth penis Join Date: May 2006 Location: Springfield Casino cash: $7444386	All I can say is thank God I keep a box of disposable gloves in the bathroom (for cleaning).
Posts: 11,432

06-23-2015, 11:12 AM	#21
Zebedee DuBois Veteran Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: floating in a tin can Casino cash: $1705199	The section at the grocery store called "Produce". Go regularly. __________________ What am I even doing here? Last edited by Zebedee DuBois; 06-23-2015 at 11:16 AM.. Reason: converted to Haiku
Posts: 3,773

06-23-2015, 11:21 AM	#22
TimBone Mostly Ignored Join Date: Jul 2013 Casino cash: $8499985	This is the other side of having it packed in there for all those years.
Posts: 18,096

06-23-2015, 12:15 PM	#25
Munson Roy E. Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Olathe, KS Casino cash: $11779646	Sounds like your "friend" is just looking for an excuse to play with his balloon knot.
Posts: 22,740

06-23-2015, 12:26 PM	#27
eDave Banned Join Date: Jan 2013 Casino cash: $9998560	Do what mathematicians do; work it out with a pencil.
Posts: 53,803

06-23-2015, 02:32 PM	#28
KC native Banned Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Fort Worth, TX Casino cash: $10049239	I have never been constipated.
Posts: 24,946

06-23-2015, 02:38 PM	#29
Boiled Chicken Starter Join Date: Dec 2008 Casino cash: $3058129	Ask your co-worker in the next stall to come over and push on your shoulders.
Posts: 378	0 1

06-23-2015, 02:50 PM	#30
Chromatic Veteran Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Earth Casino cash: $10018551	That's not even the worst kind of constipation. That's Defcon 5 constipation. Defcon 1 is when you're literally throwing up feces because you're so backed up. Never happened to me. I only found that out because I was constipated for a week last summer and looking at the wiki made me paranoid.
Posts: 1,305