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Old 02-05-2015, 10:06 PM  
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Valentinowanian Extravaganza
I like to help so here is my special offer to each of you...

In honor of Valentine's Day and as a way to screw hallmark, I, Iowanian propose a deal with you...

If you desire and promise to follow through I offer my humble services
Post a number of facts about your significant other and I will compose a custom poem on your behalf.

Your deal is you have to hand make a card, copy the poem into the middle and use it as your only card. You also have to report back on the response of the mate. If you post your response in the form of a ms paint drawing I will reward you.
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Old 02-24-2015, 03:47 PM   #91
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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On the bright side, that's 2 more scores than the Chiefs receivers can claim in the past 16 months.

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Originally Posted by wazu View Post
So, am I wrong or did only 2 of the 15 or so people who Iowanian did this for follow through with their end of the bargain?
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Old 02-24-2015, 04:01 PM   #92
MTG#10 MTG#10 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wazu View Post
So, am I wrong or did only 2 of the 15 or so people who Iowanian did this for follow through with their end of the bargain?
Well I couldn't use mine for obvious reasons...
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Old 02-24-2015, 04:10 PM   #93
TimBone TimBone is offline
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Originally Posted by Buzz View Post
smelled like popcorn.
Buttered popcorn
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Old 02-24-2015, 08:44 PM   #94
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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My wife loved it. I even showed her the alternate stanza later and she laughed her ass off.

Much of secks was had.
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Old 02-24-2015, 08:50 PM   #95
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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So what's you are saying is we can count a third touchdown reception. Nice.
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Old 02-24-2015, 09:34 PM   #96
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Originally Posted by TimBone View Post
Buttered popcorn
Racist, reported, I like mine slightly burnt.
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Old 02-24-2015, 09:49 PM   #97
stumppy stumppy is online now
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I could use a little help with an something I'm thinking about posting on craigslist.

It's not for me it's for my dog, a border collie mix named Dodger. (He's the mutt in my avi.) What I'd really like to do for my buddy is find someone who has a female in heat that wouldn't mind introducing the two for a very short term relationship.
The poor fella hasn't ever gotten laid. He's 3 years old and needs a girlfriend. Hell, he even knows that 'girlfriend' means a female. Comes from running with a friends female healer for several months when he was a pup.
He hasn't gone to humping legs or anything but I don't know how much longer thats going to last.
Wording his 'personal ad' just right would go a long ways towards hooking the poor bastard up.
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Old 02-25-2015, 11:26 AM   #98
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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HELP WANTED. For a friend
Who goes by the code name of Dodger.
Mans best friend for life, a virgin in strife
I'd like to find him some bitches to Rodger.

A boarder collie he might be of mix
no papers to certify his breed
but a playdate with your she-dog
will take care of his needs.

Dodger won't care if she's short, fat or bald
or if her pedigree is top billing
as long as her tail is up
and her back side he's drilling

...A while they bone in the yard
and you're a chic in the mood
I might show you my hang-down
and you too, can get screwed.
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Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-25-2015, 11:30 AM   #99
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian View Post
So what's you are saying is we can count a third touchdown reception. Nice.
I really want to make a joke about a TE getting the reception, but it just wouldn't be accurate.
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Old 02-25-2015, 11:31 AM   #100
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian View Post
HELP WANTED. For a friend
Who goes by the code name of Dodger.
Mans best friend for life, a virgin in strife
I'd like to find him some bitches to Rodger.

A boarder collie he might be of mix
no papers to certify his breed
but a playdate with your she-dog
will take care of his needs.

Dodger won't care if she's short, fat or bald
or if her pedigree is top billing
as long as her tail is up
and her back side he's drilling

...A while they bone in the yard
and you're a chic in the mood
I might show you my hang-down
and you too, can get screwed.
You're a romantic at heart.
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Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-25-2015, 04:13 PM   #101
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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I can't help it FMB, I just can't leave poor Dodger in limbo like that, never knowing the gentle nuzzle of a lover that doesn't have a stumpy spoon of peanut butter.
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Old 02-28-2015, 11:49 PM   #102
stumppy stumppy is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian View Post
HELP WANTED. For a friend
Who goes by the code name of Dodger.
Mans best friend for life, a virgin in strife
I'd like to find him some bitches to Rodger.

A boarder collie he might be of mix
no papers to certify his breed
but a playdate with your she-dog
will take care of his needs.

Dodger won't care if she's short, fat or bald
or if her pedigree is top billing
as long as her tail is up
and her back side he's drilling

...A while they bone in the yard
and you're a chic in the mood
I might show you my hang-down
and you too, can get screwed.


Perfect
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stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 03-01-2015, 08:48 AM   #103
stumppy stumppy is online now
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http://springfield.craigslist.org/wan/4912408452.html

I guess theres nothing to do but wait.
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stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 03-02-2015, 05:32 PM   #104
stumppy stumppy is online now
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Quote:
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http://springfield.craigslist.org/wan/4912408452.html

I guess theres nothing to do but wait.
Lasted one and a half days. 'Content Flagged for Removal'
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stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 03-02-2015, 06:17 PM   #105
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Try try again. Maybe remove the last stanza. You had better share any responses.
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Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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