Let's hear the most offensive jokes you can think of! - Page 5

Clint in Wichita · 05-22-2003, 11:43 AM

To avoid a debate, you may want to leave out the ethnic jokes. However, if you do decide to post an ethnic joke, it won't bother me at all.

My first contribution, heard about a week ago:

Q: What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

A: Not being reeruned.

Next?

**Baby Lee** · 05-22-2003, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ChiTown
Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms? For better traction in the mud.

- "Bruce" brand condoms - the Steel Belted Rubber

**ChiTown** · 05-22-2003, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by siberian khatru
How do you drive Helen Keller crazy?
Lock her in a room with stucco walls.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a doll house in the backyard?
Neither did she.

I love it!

siberian khatru · 05-22-2003, 01:19 PM

One day Jesus was walking by the pearly gates when St. Peter asked him to watch the gates for a few minutes. Jesus agreed and in a few minutes he saw an old, old man approach. This man was old! He walked very slowly, had a halting gait, and long white hair and beard.

When Jesus asked if he could help, the old man advised him in a shaky voice that he was looking for his son. Jesus wanted to help
but didn't think he could as there were millions of people there.

"I know I can identify him very easily by the holes in his hands and feet," states the old man.

Jesus does a double take and says, "Father?"

The old man looks at Jesus and says, "Pinocchio?"

**Dartgod** · 05-22-2003, 01:21 PM

Q: How do you get 1,000 dead babies in a Volkswagen?

A: Food processor

Q: How do you get them out?

A: A straw or Doritos

angel · 05-22-2003, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ENDelt260

I'm glad to see someone representin' w/ the dead baby jokes.

oh I've got more if you guys want 'em

angel · 05-22-2003, 01:27 PM

What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion.

You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby

**Dartgod** · 05-22-2003, 01:27 PM

Q: How do you make a dead baby float?

A: Take your foot off of it's head.

**Dartgod** · 05-22-2003, 01:28 PM

Q: How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?

A: Nail its other hand to the floor.

**ChiTown** · 05-22-2003, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dartgod
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?

A: Take your foot off of it's head.

Ouch!

GD, am I ever glad my wife doesn't read this BB

angel · 05-22-2003, 01:29 PM

What's more fun than a barrel of dead babies?

Sticking pins in their eyes.

**Baby Lee** · 05-22-2003, 01:30 PM

Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his ass.

angel · 05-22-2003, 01:30 PM

what's the first thing a woman should do after coming home from a battered wife's seminar?

the dishes if she knows what's good for her

**ChiTown** · 05-22-2003, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ENDelt260
So... immediately after a woman gives birth, the doctor's holding the baby. As we walks over to hand it to the mother, he stops short, and launches the baby across the delivery room. The baby smacks up against the wall, and lands with a thud on the floor. The doctor runs over to it, picks it up, and starts punching the hell out of it. Then he drop kicks it to the other side of the room. The doctor picks the baby up by the ankles and is swinging it in circles around his head when he realizes the whole time the mother's been screaming and crying, "STOP!!! NO!!! MY BABY!!!" On and on. The doctor just looks at her w/ a smirk and says, "Relax.... he was already dead!"

That is so FN wrong, I can't comment any further

**Dartgod** · 05-22-2003, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by angel
What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?

You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork

Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?

So you can tell which ones are still alive.

angel · 05-22-2003, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ENDelt260
So... immediately after a woman gives birth, the doctor's holding the baby. As we walks over to hand it to the mother, he stops short, and launches the baby across the delivery room. The baby smacks up against the wall, and lands with a thud on the floor. The doctor runs over to it, picks it up, and starts punching the hell out of it. Then he drop kicks it to the other side of the room. The doctor picks the baby up by the ankles and is swinging it in circles around his head when he realizes the whole time the mother's been screaming and crying, "STOP!!! NO!!! MY BABY!!!" On and on. The doctor just looks at her w/ a smirk and says, "Relax.... he was already dead!"

ah, memories-- that was my first dead baby joke- ever since, I was hooked

05-22-2003, 11:43 AM
Clint in Wichita Veteran Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	Let's hear the most offensive jokes you can think of! To avoid a debate, you may want to leave out the ethnic jokes. However, if you do decide to post an ethnic joke, it won't bother me at all. My first contribution, heard about a week ago: Q: What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not being reeruned. Next?
Posts: 4,458

05-22-2003, 01:19 PM	#63
siberian khatru 21st Century Schizoid Fan Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Gates of Delirium Casino cash: $2524950	One day Jesus was walking by the pearly gates when St. Peter asked him to watch the gates for a few minutes. Jesus agreed and in a few minutes he saw an old, old man approach. This man was old! He walked very slowly, had a halting gait, and long white hair and beard. When Jesus asked if he could help, the old man advised him in a shaky voice that he was looking for his son. Jesus wanted to help but didn't think he could as there were millions of people there. "I know I can identify him very easily by the holes in his hands and feet," states the old man. Jesus does a double take and says, "Father?" The old man looks at Jesus and says, "Pinocchio?"
Posts: 69,189

05-22-2003, 01:21 PM	#64
Dartgod Wasted away again... Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: in Margaritaville Casino cash: $7380000	Q: How do you get 1,000 dead babies in a Volkswagen? A: Food processor Q: How do you get them out? A: A straw or Doritos __________________ If you shed a tear for me, please make it a tear of joy. -Joe Tracy (Nzoner) . .
Posts: 51,124

05-22-2003, 01:27 PM	#66
angel so cute Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Small Town Kansas Casino cash: $10004900	What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby
Posts: 1,264

05-22-2003, 01:27 PM	#67
Dartgod Wasted away again... Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: in Margaritaville Casino cash: $7380000	Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: Take your foot off of it's head. __________________ If you shed a tear for me, please make it a tear of joy. -Joe Tracy (Nzoner) . .
Posts: 51,124

05-22-2003, 01:28 PM	#68
Dartgod Wasted away again... Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: in Margaritaville Casino cash: $7380000	Q: How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? A: Nail its other hand to the floor. __________________ If you shed a tear for me, please make it a tear of joy. -Joe Tracy (Nzoner) . .
Posts: 51,124

05-22-2003, 01:29 PM	#70
angel so cute Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Small Town Kansas Casino cash: $10004900	What's more fun than a barrel of dead babies? Sticking pins in their eyes.
Posts: 1,264

05-22-2003, 01:30 PM	#71
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $6838598	Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A. Wiped his ass. __________________ We need the kind of courage that can withstand the subtle corruption of the cynics - E.W.
Posts: 95,642