New Dating Megathread

[Buck]

Luv's old thread is in the HOC for being too big.

Post all your dating questions, comments, concerns, advice, and scrutiny in here!

[LoneWolf]

Originally Posted by Douche Baggins

Oh thank you IPad gods for turning these images into blue boxes.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Originally Posted by Chocolate Hog

Who the **** is frank reynolds

He is a man that attempts to pick up chicks by dropping a magnum condom and a wad of hundreds in front of them. He also goes after the scraps after his two friends bang the broad. In ever search of a bang maid to suit his desires. Proficient in banging out back in dumpsters as well.

[Perineum Ripper]

So here is the update on the situation with Squirrel

I had 1 day of normal before the weekend became a cluster ****..I woke up to cops knocking on my door..not having done anything wrong I figured someone was hurt or dead..they said they needed to ask some questions..started asking me where I was that night..who I was with..what my mood was like..had I been drinking..so I stopped answering after that question and asked what it was about..apparently Squirrel had been thrown down stairs.."thrown"..I said I was calling my lawyer..they asked me to go with them..I asked if I was under arrest..they said no..so I said bye and shut the door..called my buddy who is a lawyer he called the cops and talked to someone..lawyer called back said he was picking me up and we would go talk..went and explained to the police it couldn't be with me because I was with someone at home when this "accident" happened

After dealing with that I went to the city..was enjoying my time..A buddy called said him and his wife got into it..she was needing a place to stay..He was staying because his parents were there..so I said she could stay at the house..told them where the key was..so I'm sure you can tell where this is going..she parked her new Cadillac CTS in the drive..apparently Squirrel drove by while she was outside packing in her bag..The friend said a car stopped on the highway then took off..well sometime that night I'm guessing Squirrel came by and ****ed that brand new car up..she keyed it good..scratched in some nice colorful words..then busted out the drivers window with a brick

The friend called I said call the cops..I came home..The cops checked everything out..dusted the car..The brick..so it's under investigation

The number change was due to the fact I got tired of waking up to hundreds of texts and dozens of calls..not much excitement to that

So my lawyer buddy said to call cops every time something happens and whenever the investigation is done if she is the one who is pointed a restraining order gets filed..until then it's a toss up if it will be approved

The thing that makes me laugh but scared at the same time if Squirrel would find out..The person I was with on the "accident" night is Squirrels best friend..I have been hanging out with her since the start..even before Squirrel..she is cool..she has said from day one..it's all for fun..so she is on my side about Squirrel and my Double Agent for Intel

[luv]

Way too much drama.

[Rudy tossed tigger's salad]

What? This must be one ugly bitch. Between this and MTG, I'm never moving to MO

[Hammock Parties]

lol. i love dating wizards.

Originally Posted by Heinzanova

I used todo something like coffee.

but then I got really active with donating and helping at the local humane society.

Chicks that like dogs > * chicks.

So what I would do is have them meet me there, saying we could go somewhere else together just easy parking and I was going to be there "Helping socialize a few strays that came in, we found their mother killed on the side of the road".

This wasn't always true, but how could a girl refuse to meet up with you when you are helping homeless puppies.

This sets a tone that you are a great guy, maybe a keeper. They drop their guard quickly. Usually take them in and show them a few dogs, take them in the restricted puppy area, and gauge how good of a person they are. Do they get down on the ground and let the puppies jump all over them or are they trying to stay 'clean'.

Next they usually trust me enough to go somewhere in my car. Typically I start a date off in a low profile car, usually the S class. I try to **** around enough in the car when we get in so they notice the sign infront of the space that says my name. So they ask about why I have my own parking space, and I get the chance to explain how I donated over half the money to build the current building.

Now the panties are wet, zomg he is a good guy and he is clearly rich. So modest.

I now try to steer them to a roof top wine bar in the Row. This has a great view, classy snacks and amazing wine. This also lets me play in my element, I know everyone at the Row, everyone at the wine bar. They make sure not to let on that they are girl number two or three of the week, but they also make it seem like I am a man of the community.

I try to get them as drunk as possible at the wine bar, it is a good wine bar, we can watch the sunset from the roof top bar. If they are still here at sunset not only are they comfortable with me, but they also are drunk and their panties are whimsical.

The wine bar is on top of the hotel, I happen to have an apartment in this hotel (my office is near by, main reason).

We usually finish by them getting a taxi in a few hours over to their car at the dog shelter, the really good ones I let stay till the morning and drive them over.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Originally Posted by mac459

So here is the update on the situation with Squirrel

I had 1 day of normal before the weekend became a cluster ****..I woke up to cops knocking on my door..not having done anything wrong I figured someone was hurt or dead..they said they needed to ask some questions..started asking me where I was that night..who I was with..what my mood was like..had I been drinking..so I stopped answering after that question and asked what it was about..apparently Squirrel had been thrown down stairs.."thrown"..I said I was calling my lawyer..they asked me to go with them..I asked if I was under arrest..they said no..so I said bye and shut the door..called my buddy who is a lawyer he called the cops and talked to someone..lawyer called back said he was picking me up and we would go talk..went and explained to the police it couldn't be with me because I was with someone at home when this "accident" happened

After dealing with that I went to the city..was enjoying my time..A buddy called said him and his wife got into it..she was needing a place to stay..He was staying because his parents were there..so I said she could stay at the house..told them where the key was..so I'm sure you can tell where this is going..she parked her new Cadillac CTS in the drive..apparently Squirrel drove by while she was outside packing in her bag..The friend said a car stopped on the highway then took off..well sometime that night I'm guessing Squirrel came by and ****ed that brand new car up..she keyed it good..scratched in some nice colorful words..then busted out the drivers window with a brick

The friend called I said call the cops..I came home..The cops checked everything out..dusted the car..The brick..so it's under investigation

The number change was due to the fact I got tired of waking up to hundreds of texts and dozens of calls..not much excitement to that

So my lawyer buddy said to call cops every time something happens and whenever the investigation is done if she is the one who is pointed a restraining order gets filed..until then it's a toss up if it will be approved

The thing that makes me laugh but scared at the same time if Squirrel would find out..The person I was with on the "accident" night is Squirrels best friend..I have been hanging out with her since the start..even before Squirrel..she is cool..she has said from day one..it's all for fun..so she is on my side about Squirrel and my Double Agent for Intel

This thread is worthless without pics...per PM of course

Figured she would be driving by, but damn....This will not be pretty when she finds out you are poking her friends

[Hammock Parties]

Simply Red and I are going on an adventure.

[NewChief]

Mac's story is getting pretty incredible.

[Canofbier]

Originally Posted by Douche Baggins

Simply Red and I are going on an adventure.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Canofbier

I prefer to think of it like this.

[Katipan]

It will start that way, but it's going to end like this.

[Canofbier]

This chick sounds a bit too adventurous for me:

[Hammock Parties]

God, dating in Minnesota is probably like going out to a pasture.

[Canofbier]

Originally Posted by Douche Baggins

God, dating in Minnesota is probably like going out to a pasture.

It's pretty bipolar; there are lots of smart, interesting women and then a lot whose life ambitions boil down to "i like being outside and drinking beer, treat me like a princess because I am one lol! JESUS #1 go packers/vikings!!"

Still, it's far better than I imagine the KC area to be.