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07-05-2013, 10:50 AM | |
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
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The Pussification of the American Male Demonstrated by a Longass, Boring ****ing Post
Dear Chiefsplaneteers,
I need help. When it comes to dressing myself and looking cool in doing so, I struggle. I've been told the last few years that I dress nicely, but this is ONLY because my wife picks out my outfits for me. Over the years, I've literally had to learn the hard way about apparent fashion "no-no's" by someone pointing out to me how stupid I looked by wearing certain combinations of clothing. In every single one of these instances, I had already worn that clothing combo SEVERAL times and spent the rest of the day thinking about how many people had thought I looked stupid as hell over the years for dressing that way. Examples: A.) I had a girlfriend in high school, who prior to leaving my house for the county fair (ugh), she INSISTED that I did not wear Doc Martin boots with shorts and that I changed into either some jeans or put some sandals on. B.) We had a freaking exchange student from Brazil who had a better sense of our culture's fashion than I do. The first week he lived with us, he said to me, "why do you do this, wearing your socks with sandals? I think this is kind of weird." I was like, "oh, I think that's how we do it in the U.S.A." He was like, "no, it isn't." He was right. C.) I had another girlfriend in high school who insisted that I did not wear navy blue and black together. D.) In my first Senior year of college (I had 2 of them), we arrived at this club and one of my best friends was like, "dude I think it's the funniest thing in the world that every time you wear a black dress shirt, you also wear a brown belt and brown loafers with it." I was like, "what's wrong with that?" He was like, "dude, that is a HUGE fashion no-no. Didn't you know that?!?! I never said anything to you because you are always acting like a jackass, so I figured you were doing it to be funny. Omg Swaff, you can be so stupid." And boy did I feel stupid...I had been doing that my entire life. Obviously, dressing cool does not come naturally to me. So, I got this thing in the mail from SI. They had an offer that I thought was freaking awesome. A one year subscription to SI and a jacket of a team of your choice for $29. You can check out the offer and the jacket here: http://www.si.com/offer29 I generally just disregard mail like this, but I decided to go through with this one and am pretty pumped about it. I'm real pumped about the jacket, for the only Chiefs jacket I have at the moment is a 1990's Starter jacket that my grandma found at a resale shop and bought for me. I don't mind it, but my wife won't be caught dead with me if I wear it, so I never wear it...I'll probably end up donating it...to the resale shop. Here is a pic of the jacket: Is this jacket presentable/cool enough to wear to a game or to wear out in public at the bar while watching the game? I literally don't know, I have no fashion sense and my wife is a Steelers fan, so of course she doesn't think it looks cool. Help a fashionably challenged brotha out. Thanks. Sincerely, rico <3 XOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXO <3 Last edited by rico; 07-06-2013 at 11:09 AM.. Reason: All hail milkman!!!!!!! |
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07-06-2013, 10:16 AM | #106 | |
Keep doubting J MFing Houston
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I'm kidding, of course. You'd have to be an idiot to risk your education for a quick buck. |
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07-06-2013, 10:40 AM | #107 |
Banned
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07-06-2013, 10:45 AM | #108 |
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
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07-06-2013, 10:49 AM | #109 |
Dumbass!
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Can we rename this thread?
"The pussification of the American male, demontrated by a longass, boring ****ing post".
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07-06-2013, 11:04 AM | #110 | |
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
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Quote:
I mean, I disagree with you labeling me a pussy and all...for I am far from one (I guess it's a matter of perspective), but you are so highly respected here, I don't want to make the entire planet butt-hurt by not honoring your wishes. |
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07-06-2013, 11:11 AM | #111 | |
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
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Quote:
Had to use, "****ing," for "freaking" wouldn't fit.....but all in all, I feel great about this. Thanks for the suggestion, milkman!!! Edit: I don't know why the title isn't showing up in the lounge...it shows up when you click on the link. Hmmmm... |
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07-06-2013, 11:17 AM | #112 |
best in the biz
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....this thread is a joke, right?
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07-06-2013, 11:21 AM | #113 |
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
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No. I am like Rain Man (Dustin Hoffman style) when it comes to fashion sense. With an exception of wrestling t-shirts, I don't by any of my own clothes. I just...don't pay attention much to what people are wearing. I mean, I notice the shit I hate. For example, I hate "Tapout" shirts. Other than that though, I don't know shit.
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07-06-2013, 02:53 PM | #114 |
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When you put on clothes in the morning, do you look in the mirror to see how it looks or do you just walk out?
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07-06-2013, 02:55 PM | #115 | |
Unsparing
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Destroy them. Immediately.
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1. Merciless, severe. 2. Given freely and generously. 100% refusal to overrate 20 year Head Coaches with ZERO ****ing rings as a Head Coach. CP's Official Professor of 'Dem Blues for 2019/2020! |
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