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Old 10-12-2016, 11:15 AM  
Saccopoo Saccopoo is offline
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Fellas! Have you ever faked an orgasm?
As I stated in pork belly thread, I'm currently seeing a girl who has taken it upon herself as a personal mission to try and purify all of the negative kharma that she's accumulated over her lifetime by sexing me into oblivion. Like she's a one woman Make a Wish Foundation/Disneyland combined and I'm the recipient of her amazing altruism.

I've been seeing her for about two months and at this point, I find myself lying to her about being busy on days that I am not just so I don't have to have any more sex.

She's really attractive, is willing to do anything (and I mean ANYTHING) and I am completely worn out. I have friction damage up and down the unit, my balls ache and she could teach fifth year proctologists lessons on how to stimulate the male prostate. I really can't take another vibrator shoved up my ass. Seriously.

Yesterday she's at my house an 9 am to 6 pm (because she decided to play hooky from work to have sex all day.) I'm worn out. So I decide to fake an orgasm in hoping that it would give me a brief reprieve. Bad idea. She takes that as a challenge to have it start all over again, so right into the oral sex combined with hand job into sex again. Oh, she also thinks that marijuana/THC is beneficial to helping fight cancer, so she keeps trying to get me high all the time.

I kinda experienced this before - right after I got divorced and I was dating a girl that was apparently attempting to **** whatever inner demons she had out of her. Stripped or broke every screw and bolt in my bed. She even laced my cocktail one night with ecstasy and viagra.

I'm kinda getting worn out and in my state, I'm not sure that's a good thing.

Recommendations?
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Old 10-13-2016, 10:01 AM   #91
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
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Can confirm. I'm 34 and live in a college town. And up until I started dating my fiance, it had become a free for all. It was impossible to go out and not get laid, unless you just flat out didn't want to. Furthermore, most of the girls were up for about anything. Nothing was off limits.
Good thing goats are cheap.
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Old 10-13-2016, 10:21 AM   #92
Mosbonian Mosbonian is offline
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Nothing more fun on a Thursday afternoon lunch break than sitting here reading this stuff and laughing out loud in a crowded lunch room. People look at you like you are crazy because when they ask what you are laughing about you answer with "honestly I can't say if I want to keep my job".
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Old 10-13-2016, 10:29 AM   #93
RockChalk RockChalk is online now
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Good thing goats are cheap.
They also don't talk back. Some kick a little bit though.
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Old 10-13-2016, 10:33 AM   #94
vailpass vailpass is offline
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They also don't talk back. Some kick a little bit though.
Not if you put their hind feet in your boots.
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Old 10-13-2016, 12:34 PM   #95
ChiTown ChiTown is offline
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Not if you put their hind feet in your boots.
- There is a man with some REAL life experiences:.....
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Old 10-13-2016, 01:03 PM   #96
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Old 10-13-2016, 01:07 PM   #97
Saccopoo Saccopoo is offline
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Good for you Sacc! I dated a nympho back in the day and it was fantastic. I do recall faking an orgasm or two just so I could stop and give my poor dick a break. It's crazy how sore it can get after multiple orgasms.
One guy gets it.

Had to fake it in the hot tub last night probably due to intoxication more than anything. Woke up at 9:00 this morning, vomited the bag of fritos I ate at 2:00 and I just got a text saying "I'm coming over for lunch!"

Not "Can I come over for lunch?" just a declarative "I'm coming over for lunch."

And I know it's not for lunch. And I have to go puke again. And I have to clean the house. ****.

It would be a whole lot easier if I was making this shit up or if I was gay.

Have fun today kids.
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Old 10-13-2016, 02:49 PM   #98
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Old 10-13-2016, 03:05 PM   #99
Rasputin Rasputin is offline
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Originally Posted by Saccopoo View Post
One guy gets it.

Had to fake it in the hot tub last night probably due to intoxication more than anything. Woke up at 9:00 this morning, vomited the bag of fritos I ate at 2:00 and I just got a text saying "I'm coming over for lunch!"

Not "Can I come over for lunch?" just a declarative "I'm coming over for lunch."

And I know it's not for lunch. And I have to go puke again. And I have to clean the house. ****.

It would be a whole lot easier if I was making this shit up or if I was gay.

Have fun today kids.
Why go through the trouble of cleaning house if your not trying to impress her anymore? Also if your puking from drinking why the **** would you even bother cleaning house if a chick is just going jump your bones? Save yourself the energy.
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Old 10-13-2016, 05:56 PM   #100
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Why go through the trouble of cleaning house if your not trying to impress her anymore? Also if your puking from drinking why the **** would you even bother cleaning house if a chick is just going jump your bones? Save yourself the energy.
You let a chick see a dirty house she will never clean again. She only keeps up with what is expected. Clean my house, suck my dick, and make me a ****ing sandwich.
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