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View Poll Results: What is the Worst Kind of Shit?
Explosive, foaming diarrhea 25 25.77%
Tarry earthworm craps 7 7.22%
Creamy peanut butter poops 20 20.62%
Asshole stretching bowling ball shits 20 20.62%
Premature breakers 7 7.22%
Incomplete evacuation 14 14.43%
False alarm dumps. All farts, no dirt. 4 4.12%
Voters: 97. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 03-19-2014, 09:19 PM  
'Hamas' Jenkins 'Hamas' Jenkins is offline
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What is the Worst Kind of Shit?
Please support your response with relevant examples.
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Old 03-20-2014, 11:29 AM   #76
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Originally Posted by Rausch View Post
I'm pretty sure you could pull off the handy.

And the Japanese are very diverse in their poops.

Everything from squat-n-grunt to complete pampering...
I honestly think there's a lot to be said for the squat n grunt. Collectively our society would have to start working on their core muscles but that would kill two birds with one turd.
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Old 03-20-2014, 11:31 AM   #77
Rausch Rausch is offline
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I honestly think there's a lot to be said for the squat n grunt. Collectively our society would have to start working on their core muscles but that would kill two birds with one turd.
Truth.
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Old 03-20-2014, 11:32 AM   #78
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My mother has a super fancy Japanese toilet thing that does everything. Warms, wets, dries, powdered, hand job. That is far too complicated for me.

But I would so install a nice urinal in a well used bathroom.
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Old 03-20-2014, 11:49 AM   #79
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At least with the bowling ball shit you feel as though you've accomplished something with your day.
Nothing says relief like when that's over with. You feel lighter, almost like tapping the weight off of a baseball bat and skipper gives you the "swing away" signal.
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Old 03-20-2014, 11:56 AM   #80
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gonzo View Post
At least with the bowling ball shit you feel as though you've accomplished something with your day.
Nothing says relief like when that's over with. You feel lighter, almost like tapping the weight off of a baseball bat and skipper gives you the "swing away" signal.
Those can be awful, especially before they reach the sphincter and they are stretching out around the descending/sigmoid colon region and you can't quite tell if you have to take a bowling ball shit or if you are passing a kidney stone. I've pissed out a kidney stone...and have taken a few spike-covered bowling ball shits in my day...it feels similar when the shit is in that region I mentioned.
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Old 03-20-2014, 12:03 PM   #81
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Any room for this chart to roughly determine what your shits mean?
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Old 03-20-2014, 12:06 PM   #82
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Worst? The shit of 1001 wipes. The kinds of shits where no matter how much you wipe your ass, you just. Can't. Seem. To. Get. Your. Asshole. CLEAN!

On the opposite end of the spectrum is the clean poopie, where you wipe once, see nothing on the paper, and give a quick fist pump.
hahaha. immediately made me think of this. funny stuff.
@ 1:10

NSFW language....

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Old 03-20-2014, 12:08 PM   #83
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Here's the worst:

You have incredible back spasms. I mean any straining in the abdomen - a sneeze, cough or even a sniff - will put you on the floor in incredible pain. To combat this, the doctor puts you on Oxycontin but forgets to mention the nasty side effect of constipation.

A couple of days later, you are still in incredible pain when the urge to defecate (Pink Floyd reference there) hits. Suddenly you find that it's bowling ball poop time and you must spend an hour alternating between your back killing you and your butt killing you.
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Old 03-20-2014, 01:43 PM   #84
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Old 03-20-2014, 01:46 PM   #85
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Truth.
Now show us dem titties!
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Old 03-20-2014, 01:56 PM   #86
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Now show us dem titties!
She has.

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Old 03-20-2014, 03:22 PM   #87
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I voted bowling ball with the caveat that said bowling ball is actually a fireball. Bowling ball shits can bring on hemorrhoids as well, so that's an added bonus.

Really, anything outside of a clean breaker could be argued to be The Worst Kind of Shit.
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Old 03-20-2014, 03:23 PM   #88
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Old 03-20-2014, 06:17 PM   #89
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Quote:
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For me, though, the worst is dropping a load outdoors...like at a camp out, or a field party. Doesn't matter the consistency, you're gonna have a bad time. Our bodies have forgotten the poo-in-nature instinct.

I once took a shit under an overpass on the highway whilst on a road trip. It might have been the most stressful, traumatic experience of my life.
Ahhhhhhh the old field poop taken them everywhere imaginable working outside as a land surveyor. Taken under culverts overpasses bridges. Worked under the old Paseo Bridge in KC over the Missouri River. There are scaffolding crawl paces under it. we had to get level elevations on the steel beams under the roadway decking. Well midway about under the bridge the urge hit. There was no making to land and the truck and quik stop. So hung a cheek over the steel and droped mud 70 feet below into The Big Muddy. You work out in it you learn to prepare and deal with it. Teepee in the Rawls.

Second most awesome place to poop is is on a sky scrapper under construction. They put out Porta potti that are half height like sawed in two. there is no roof so when you poo your head sticks out through the roof. This is due to the high winds and resistance to blowing over and making a mess. Well was on the about 24the floor and it was open steel decking the concrete floor had not been poured yet. This was the ATT Town Pavilion right across the street was the 10 Main Center Building. You could see the office workers like almost reaching out to shake hands. Well I had to take a shit bad so im sitting there doing the business and I look over and see 2 gals and about 3 dudes looking over. So I just wave. I mean there is no doubt what your doing especially when you gotta stand and wipe. After I stepped back out I faced them and took a bow.
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Old 03-20-2014, 06:28 PM   #90
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