***** Official NEW Dating Mega Thread, Part 2 *****

[TLO]

Let's do this.

[The Franchise]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

What's everyone's feeling on dating a girl with a child who isn't yours?

I married one. What would you like to know?

[scho63]

Originally Posted by Li'l Smokey

4x in one night? She's trying to suck me dry.

I'm not impressed!

[scho63]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

What's everyone's feeling on dating a girl with a child who isn't yours?

Originally Posted by Pestilence

I married one. What would you like to know?

Is she over 18 and is she hot?

[Discuss Thrower]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

What's everyone's feeling on dating a girl with a child who isn't yours?

Never.

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by Pestilence

I married one. What would you like to know?

Did you already have children of your own? I should say that I don't so this is an entirely new experience for me.

I'm just curious as to your general experience. Obviously it didn't bother you too much. I'm guessing if you really love the girl then you'll make it work. I'm just a bit leery of the situation for whatever reason. It's baggage, you know?

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by scho63

Is she over 18 and is she hot?

Yes and yes, although she does have stretch marks everywhere.

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower

Never.

You hush.

[The Franchise]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

Did you already have children of your own? I should say that I don't so this is an entirely new experience for me.

I'm just curious as to your general experience. Obviously it didn't bother you too much. I'm guessing if you really love the girl then you'll make it work. I'm just a bit leery of the situation for whatever reason. It's baggage, you know?

Everything is going to be baggage, man.

As to my experience. I didn't have any children going into the relationship. I met her after her ex-husband had been kicked out for being a worthless POS wife beater. I didn't meet her daughter (10 months old) for a couple of months. After I did....I fell in love with the kid. Obviously we got married, had twins and now my step-daughter is 8 years old.

Just remember this....

You're dating the girl....not her kid. There is nothing that says that you have to meet the kid right away. If she's forcing you to meet her kid....then you can always leave. There are single moms that want to have fun and date without bringing their kid into it and there are single moms who are looking for a father for their kid. It's up to you to figure out which one she is.

[TimBone]

I don't see why not. Most times, if she's a good mother, you won't be around the youngster very often in the beginning. That will give you time to assess your feelings for the girl, and decide if you care for her enough to take on the responsibility of helping to raise someone else's child.

[TimBone]

Originally Posted by Pestilence

Everything is going to be baggage, man.

As to my experience. I didn't have any children going into the relationship. I met her after her ex-husband had been kicked out for being a worthless POS wife beater. I didn't meet her daughter (10 months old) for a couple of months. After I did....I fell in love with the kid. Obviously we got married, had twins and now my step-daughter is 8 years old.

Just remember this....

You're dating the girl....not her kid. There is nothing that says that you have to meet the kid right away. If she's forcing you to meet her kid....then you can always leave. There are single moms that want to have fun and date without bringing their kid into it and there are single moms who are looking for a father for their kid. It's up to you to figure out which one she is.

Bam. Pest nailed it.

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by Pestilence

Everything is going to be baggage, man.

As to my experience. I didn't have any children going into the relationship. I met her after her ex-husband had been kicked out for being a worthless POS wife beater. I didn't meet her daughter (10 months old) for a couple of months. After I did....I fell in love with the kid. Obviously we got married, had twins and now my step-daughter is 8 years old.

Just remember this....

You're dating the girl....not her kid. There is nothing that says that you have to meet the kid right away. If she's forcing you to meet her kid....then you can always leave. There are single moms that want to have fun and date without bringing their kid into it and there are single moms who are looking for a father for their kid. It's up to you to figure out which one she is.

I'll have to keep this post in mind..

I just don't even know what to expect. Am I going to have to deal with "child issues"? Baby daddy drama? Surely a child in the mix could put some extra strain on a relationship, which is already hard enough to keep afloat as is. I'm wondering if I can deal.

Also, pretty ****ed up but just my perception, I had never given serious thought to dating a girl with a kid. I've always thought that I'd meet a girl, without a child, and we'd start a family of our own. Obviously, me and her could still do that down the road, but it just isn't the dream idea that I've always had.

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by TimBone

Most times, if she's a good mother, you won't be around the youngster very often in the beginning.

Yeah, it's been a couple months and I've yet to even meet the kid.

My mom used to do that shit all the time when we were growing up. I didn't give two shits as a kid, but in retrospect, it was pretty trashy.

[The Franchise]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

I'll have to keep this post in mind..

I just don't even know what to expect. Am I going to have to deal with "child issues"? Baby daddy drama? Surely a child in the mix could put some extra strain on a relationship, which is already hard enough to keep afloat as is. I'm wondering if I can deal.

Also, pretty ****ed up but just my perception, I had never given serious thought to dating a girl with a kid. I've always thought that I'd meet a girl, without a child, and we'd start a family of our own. Obviously, me and her could still do that down the road, but it just isn't the dream idea that I've always had.

It's not cut out for everyone, man. And I'm not saying that to make it seem like I'm better than other guys. I'm not.

Every situation is different. My step-daughter's real father isn't really in the picture. He lives in another state and doesn't pay child support. So there really isn't any drama in that aspect. But the girl you're talking about might be different.

Like I said....spend some time with the girl and have fun....get to know her. If she wants you to meet her child....tell her that you are there to date her and not become a father figure. She'll either respect you....or she won't.

How old is her kid? If you don't want to give any specifics here....you can always PM me and I can talk to you through that.

[DiaperBoy27]

Originally Posted by Pestilence

There are single moms that want to have fun and date without bringing their kid into it and there are single moms who are looking for a father for their kid.

Single mothers are all a combination of both, it just depends on where she is on the spectrum. She will want her S/O to do fatherly/family things at some point, which is probably what is making Virus apprehensive, and should if you want no part of that life.

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by Pestilence

It's not cut out for everyone, man. And I'm not saying that to make it seem like I'm better than other guys. I'm not.

Every situation is different. My step-daughter's real father isn't really in the picture. He lives in another state and doesn't pay child support. So there really isn't any drama in that aspect. But the girl you're talking about might be different.

Like I said....spend some time with the girl and have fun....get to know her. If she wants you to meet her child....tell her that you are there to date her and not become a father figure. She'll either respect you....or she won't.

How old is her kid? If you don't want to give any specifics here....you can always PM me and I can talk to you through that.

At this point, it just sounds like you're a better man than me.

Her kid will be 5 at this end of this month. The father is actually very involved. He takes him like 2-3 days a week and pays child support.

Truthfully, there are some other things I've seen from this girl that are making me hesitant about a future. The kid is just the extra cherry that I know I'd have to deal with down the line. For now I think I'll just take your advice and get to know her more and have some fun.

I'm just thinking I need to come to a conclusion asap. I don't want to waste her time. Like I said, it's only been a little less than 2 months, but she constantly makes comments about wasting time dating so I feel I'm fast approaching decision-time.

[The Franchise]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

At this point, it just sounds like you're a better man than me.

Her kid will be 5 at this end of this month. The father is actually very involved. He takes him like 2-3 days a week and pays child support.

Truthfully, there are some other things I've seen from this girl that are making me hesitant about a future. The kid is just the extra cherry that I know I'd have to deal with down the line. For now I think I'll just take your advice and get to know her more and have some fun.

I'm just thinking I need to come to a conclusion asap. I don't want to waste her time. Like I said, it's only been a little less than 2 months, but she constantly makes comments about wasting time dating so I feel I'm fast approaching decision-time.

Just remember man....it's your life. If you don't see a future with her....then just end it and go on about your life. Sticking around and regretting it later isn't going to be good for anyone involved.

If she's making comments like that....then she's obviously going to want to get serious sooner rather than later. You can tell her straight up that you don't want to meet her kid and that you aren't getting serious at this point. That will put the ball in her court....but that decision is up to you.