When a female friend stops talking to you...

[KCrockaholic]

This will be sorta long, but I'm curious at what CP responses will be.

So to preface this, I'm married and I've been taken for 12 years happily. Met my wife when I was 16, she was 14.

The day before this past Superbowl I met an attractive 18 year old girl who was invited out to KC from Manhattan to hang out. Didn't know anything about her until we met at Twin Peaks (because she wanted to check it out). My wife, the friend who introduced us, and another friend all stayed there having a great time talking and getting to know eachother. She came across as very mature for her age. I don't typically like 18 year olds as they tend to be very annoying to me, but we got along pretty well.

So after 3 hours at Twin Peaks we all went back to my apartment for more party time. Played music, danced around, I responsibly allowed the 18 year old to drink a little wine and she was extremely comfortable around us. She ended up with her top off in the apartment dancing around. Great time all around despite staying up until 3AM. I thought she was a cool chick, but didn't think much else of it.

Superbowl Sunday morning she left to watch the game with her grandparents who are big Tom Brady fans, and I didn't really know when or if she'd come back to hang out. But she ended up sending me a Snapchat pic of her "reaction" to the game. I didn't respond to it.

The next day she sends me another Snapchat pic. I think to myself 'well I'm not going to just ignore her forever, I'll respond and say what's up'.

Well from then on, she became obsessed with interacting with me. Every single morning she'd send me a Snapchat pic and we'd just kind of talk throughout the day from there getting to know eachother. About 3 weeks in she'd send something nearly every single hour during the day and if I didn't respond she'd send another asking why I didn't respond yet. She would be sad when I would let her know, I'm home from work and I gotta spend time with my wife, I can't really talk. I'll admit it was nice feeling like I was needed or making a difference in her having a better day.

I was beginning to consider her a good friend, and I enjoyed the conversations. She'd been promising to come back to KC to hang out again, but that hasn't happened yet. That's ok.

So about 2.5 months into this I began to notice she'd send messages less frequently. And she was really slowing down and backing off. Kinda strange, I was wondering if I had said something that she didn't like considering it was very unlike her to NOT be going to me immediately in the mornings each day. She met a boyfriend about a month ago. And although I've met allll of her other friends, her boyfriend she hasn't even let me see or say hi to via Snapchat of course. At one point I asked why she hasn't introduced me yet, and she didn't have much of a reaction and I could tell she had no intentions of wanting me to meet him.

Right now we're down to very minimal interaction over the past 3 weeks. My friend who introduced us said her name the other day so I jokingly responded with "M----, who's that? Never heard of her". At that point he was worried his own friends weren't getting along so he texted her saying exactly what I said (Damn bastard). She responds with "WHY THO WHY THO?" then immediately texts me asking if I'm ok and why I'd say that. I just let her know it was a joke and everything is fine. But that's pretty much the last time we've said anything to eachother.

I'm not chasing her as a friend, I just don't understand why things change the way they do and what makes a female just suddenly stop interacting with a guy friend? I have never played this little chasing game with girls nor ever needed to, but I did enjoy our conversations and company which is why it matters to me.

AMA

[Graystoke]

Originally Posted by KCrockaholic

It’s possible. I’ve seen a POV sex video of them 2 when they first got together. It wasn’t impressive though. She sent it to me on her own will.

Now I am confused.
Did you see his junk but not his face?
Why were you not impressed?

And tell him MILK GOES IN THE FRIDGE DAMIT!

[Bearcat]

Originally Posted by RockChalk

732 posts and still not one single picture of this girl

If it smells like shit, it's pretty likely that it's shit. Just like this fabricated story

I'm guessing it'll keep getting dragged out with every other post being his for a couple more days, then we'll get some random pic off the internet to prove once and for all that it's all real.

[KCrockaholic]

Originally Posted by duncan_idaho

To OP:

Being friends with a single female is really hard when you’re married. It’s practically impossible.

UNLESS you’re in that extremely rare situation where you’ve been friends for most of your life and/or have worked through any sexual tension and attraction on BOTH sides, it’s just not going to work.
It really has to be a brother-sister relationship (and not the Arkansas kind) for it to work.

I think your “friend” was using you as an emotional crutch while she was between relationships. It happens.

I’ll close with this: there are a lot of old and wise dudes on this board. Their advice is generally good.

I posted a few “girl problems” threads towards the end of my college years, and almost all of the advice I got and the warnings I received in those were dead-on. There were a few I should have paid more attention to.

So ... moral of the story... you’re getting good advice here. Take it to heart.

Luckily I do fall under that category I bolded there.

I think what I've realized is that like Luv said, she did have a thing for me as more than a friend, and I knew that's not something that would ever happen because I'm not going to leave my wife for her or something stupid like that.

I enjoyed helping her through issues that I could give her some input on. For example she was pretty disappointed in not getting a promotion at her workplace and she was thinking about quitting. I told her if she quits she'll just be starting all over again somewhere else and that those types of things take time to build up before you can just expect a promotion of some kind. As I've stated her parents suck and hate everything she does, so she needs some guidance from someone who is willing to listen and be understanding of who she wants to be.

But also like you said, I was being used as a crutch in between relationships from the sounds of it. Which people taking advantage of my kindness is my #1 pet peeve, and I've even had that discussion with her as well.

Thanks for the input!

[tooge]

Originally Posted by Nzoner

Personally that depends on the security of your SO,I started getting a small network of female friends when in my 40's that were 1/2 my age.They were either bartenders or waitresses at my favorite watering hole.

At first my mrs was but soon realized they were nothing but friends as the girls would come to our home for parties and the like,they just enjoyed hanging out with the old man as some can testify here my parties are usually very good.

Two of the girls have went on to work for me in my fireworks business and are now married and we still have a great relationship,so it can be done.

To clarify not once have I seen any of the aforementioned girls' tits etc. we have gone on roadtrips together to concerts(even staying in the same room) while the mrs stayed at home and never once has there been any inappropriate sexual behavior.

My mrs has come to have a great relationship with these girls as well.

I'm just going to guess that these girls were not 18 years old.

[KCrockaholic]

Originally Posted by RockChalk

732 posts and still not one single picture of this girl

If it smells like shit, it's pretty likely that it's shit. Just like this fabricated story

I've already told you guys the circumstance regarding this. I've texted pics of the girl and/with myself to Pest in good faith. But I'm not posting them here.

I may be naïve regarding the way females think, but I've seen the shit CP does and it's not pretty.

[SuperBowl4]

Originally Posted by RockChalk

732 posts and still not one single picture of this girl

If it smells like shit, it's pretty likely that it's shit. Just like this fabricated story

Does it remind you of the Mueller investigation?

[DaNewGuy]

Originally Posted by tooge

Dude, you are ****ing 27 years old. You are married, 27 years old, and you had a topless 18 year old dancing around at your house and then started a snapchat relationship with her and you are confused as to why she's not talking much? That about sum it up?

If that was my 18 year old daughter, and you and your wife and much older than her friends were giving her wine and having her dance around topless at your place, you'd be finding me at your door and you'd have some splainin to do.

Let me give you two pieces of advice that you can weave into your everyday life.

1. What would it be like if everyone did ____________ (insert action here). If everyone was having drunk 18 year olds dancing at thier place while they were married and much older, society would have a problem.

2. How would you react if the other party were one of your children?
If thats your daugher and you find out she's in the same situation you allowed this 18 year old to be in, would you approve. If you say yes, you are full of shit.

Stop being a buzz kill

[Nzoner]

Originally Posted by tooge

I'm just going to guess that these girls were not 18 years old.

21-23 and I was 48 at the time

[TambaBerry]

dude i might have to take you up on your offer of going out to the bars sometimes

[NYChiefsFan59]

This is like a train wreck I can’t look away. I’m not sure what you’re looking for? Permission, absolution , how many hail merry to say?

[raybec 4]

Originally Posted by KCrockaholic

Luckily I do fall under that category I bolded there.

I think what I've realized is that like Luv said, she did have a thing for me as more than a friend, and I knew that's not something that would ever happen because I'm not going to leave my wife for her or something stupid like that.

I enjoyed helping her through issues that I could give her some input on. For example she was pretty disappointed in not getting a promotion at her workplace and she was thinking about quitting. I told her if she quits she'll just be starting all over again somewhere else and that those types of things take time to build up before you can just expect a promotion of some kind. As I've stated her parents suck and hate everything she does, so she needs some guidance from someone who is willing to listen and be understanding of who she wants to be.

But also like you said, I was being used as a crutch in between relationships from the sounds of it. Which people taking advantage of my kindness is my #1 pet peeve, and I've even had that discussion with her as well.

Thanks for the input!

Let her know if she wants to move from fries to the register she has to make one of those POV videos with her zit faced manager.

[duncan_idaho]

Originally Posted by patteeu

Storytime!

The one that stands out was me posting about a situation where I was hooking up with two girls who were very good friends (but lived in separate cities).

I was cautioned against many layers of potential fallout, all of which turned out to come true.

My best friend was also a complication with one of the girls (he didn’t know I was also hooking up with her, and neither did I know he was hooking up with her - until she told me), and I was advised to choose him over her. That was good advice.

To be 22 again...

Sorry, Hayley does not appear in this story. She’s in that sister zone, anyway.

Originally Posted by Nzoner

Personally that depends on the security of your SO,I started getting a small network of female friends when in my 40's that were 1/2 my age.They were either bartenders or waitresses at my favorite watering hole.



At first my mrs was but soon realized they were nothing but friends as the girls would come to our home for parties and the like,they just enjoyed hanging out with the old man as some can testify here my parties are usually very good.



Two of the girls have went on to work for me in my fireworks business and are now married and we still have a great relationship,so it can be done.



To clarify not once have I seen any of the aforementioned girls' tits etc. we have gone on roadtrips together to concerts(even staying in the same room) while the mrs stayed at home and never once has there been any inappropriate sexual behavior.



My mrs has come to have a great relationship with these girls as well.

I think that situation makes it a little easier. The age helps put it into that big brother/sister relationship a little easier.

Mutual friends with the SO make it easier, too.

But random young new single girls? That’s tough until any potential sexual tension is squashed.

[stevieray]

"How's your other wife?"

lil bit of truth in all kidding.

[a pp roach]

His hoes don't want him no mo, he's cold product
They moved on to the next schmo who flows
He nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it's old partna, but the beat goes on
Da da dumb da dumb da da

[Rausch]

Originally Posted by KCrockaholic

So to preface this, I'm married and I've been taken for 12 years happily. Met my wife when I was 16, she was 14.

The day before this past Superbowl I met an attractive 18 year old girl who was invited out to KC from Manhattan to hang out. Didn't know anything about her until we met at Twin Peaks (because she wanted to check it out). My wife, the friend who introduced us, and another friend all stayed there having a great time talking and getting to know eachother. She came across as very mature for her age.

Let it go.

You only find her interesting because you don't know her yet...