Football Right now - how good a high school quarterback would you be? - Page 5

**Rain Man** · 07:03 PM

Here's the scenario. It's Friday night. You go out to get yourself some Popeye's Fried Chicken. As you drive over, you see the local high school stadium lit up, and you see a snow cone stand up in the booster club's booth.

Dang, you think to yourself. I could really go for a snow cone right now. So you pull off and park and walk over to get yourself one. There are only 5 seconds left in the game.

At that moment, the quarterback gets Theismanized on a fluke hit. Most of the team immediately starts vomiting. Their helicopter parents, assuming ebola and regretting their stance against vaccination, immediately descend from the stands and take them home, with plans to move them to the soccer team as soon as possible.

When all is said and done, there are only ten players left on the home team.

The team's not great, but it's not bad. They're a .500 club in Class 4A, with a reasonable line and slightly above average running back. One receiver made all-district last year and the left guard may have a scholarship offer to Montana State. The tight end is all-conference and he's only a sophomore.

But they have no quarterback. After exhausting all other options, they look up into the stands where you're just starting to enjoy your blue raspberry snow cone. You have two years of eligibility left from high school even though you're at your current age. and one of the cheerleaders has a pair of cleats in her car that will fit you.

They need a quarterback to finish out the season. You have a dream. Assume that there are six games left on the schedule, and you can be at every practice. By the end of the year, how would you perform?

Remember, this is happening right now. Your current age, your current weight, your current conditioning.

lcarus · 12-09-2014, 08:58 AM

Shit. Back in the day I could have been a running QB maybe. I was pretty quick. I raced Sproles in practice every day and could keep pretty close for a stretch. Now? Like right this instance? I can barely walk up a flight of stairs without getting tired. I'm way too out of shape. Cigarettes and laziness for 14 years....

Simplicity · 12-09-2014, 09:01 AM

Considering I just finished my high school football season as the starting quarterback... I'd be pretty good.

Dunerdr · 12-09-2014, 09:07 AM

I've got a jacked up shoulder soooo. But at 6'1" 243 I could step in other places. I miss playing 3-4 de in high school.

Dunerdr · 12-09-2014, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simplicity

Considering I just finished my high school football season as the starting quarterback... I'd be pretty good.

Meh jk where's you play

Steron · 12-09-2014, 09:14 AM

Hmmmm....

- 6'0" 265 pounds
- 2 right knee surgeries in 6 years
- Severe Osteopenia which requires daily pain meds, TENS Unit, and shots in my back several times a year to function
- Can throw 50 - 60 yards in the air with a regulation football
- 40 yard dash time can be timed on a calendar
- Lasik corrected vision
- Never played organized football
- Vertical leap? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! White men can't jump!

I'd say I would be a fiasco.

**loochy** · 12-09-2014, 09:15 AM

Is it ok to checkdown every time? If so, I think I can do it.

stumppy · 12-09-2014, 09:20 AM

i would be pretty good for about 4 plays. After that they'd need to wheel out the oxygen bottle for me.

Titty Meat · 12-09-2014, 09:27 AM

I would complete 4 yard passes to the RB and get a scholarship to the University Of Utah

Willie Lanier · 12-09-2014, 09:38 AM

Step one: I'd switch positions to mlb, qb of the defense,
step two: the other teams wouldn't score all season,
step three: they'd give me the nickname contact...
Step four: ????
Step five: canton/profit

**Predarat** · 12-09-2014, 11:06 AM

I would be worster than cAssHole

**Rain Man** · 12-09-2014, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willie Lanier

Step one: I'd switch positions to mlb, qb of the defense,
step two: the other teams wouldn't score all season,
step three: they'd give me the nickname contact...
Step four: ????
Step five: canton/profit

Given your username, I presume this is your actual biography?

raybec 4 · 12-09-2014, 11:28 AM

I'm stunned that more of our CP Heisman trophy finalists haven't chimed in yet.

rico · 12-09-2014, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocolate Hog

I would complete 4 yard passes to the RB and get a scholarship to the University Of Utah

Aries Walker · 12-09-2014, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katipan

When I play Madden I just randomly mash buttons until I win.

AND I WIN.

And reading takes even less physical activity than that. Imagine.

**loochy** · 12-09-2014, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katipan

When I play Madden I just randomly mash buttons until I win.

AND I WIN.

ill mash YOUR buttons

View Poll Results: By the end of the season, I would be...
Off the charts state-championship scholarship to the U good.	9	13.24%
Much better than the average high school quarterback	3	4.41%
A little better than the average high school quarterback	5	7.35%
Roughly equivalent to the average high school quarterback	3	4.41%
A little worse than the average high school quarterback	6	8.82%
A whole lot worse than the average high school quarterback	22	32.35%
Off the charts George Plimpton Paper Lion bad (or Matt Cassel during a blitz)	14	20.59%
Not applicable. My mother would never sign my permission slip to play.	3	4.41%
I can't tell you. I would take it one week at a time and not look ahead.	3	4.41%
Voters: 68. You may not vote on this poll

12-08-2014, 06:53 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $2828491 VARSITY	Right now - how good a high school quarterback would you be? Here's the scenario. It's Friday night. You go out to get yourself some Popeye's Fried Chicken. As you drive over, you see the local high school stadium lit up, and you see a snow cone stand up in the booster club's booth. Dang, you think to yourself. I could really go for a snow cone right now. So you pull off and park and walk over to get yourself one. There are only 5 seconds left in the game. At that moment, the quarterback gets Theismanized on a fluke hit. Most of the team immediately starts vomiting. Their helicopter parents, assuming ebola and regretting their stance against vaccination, immediately descend from the stands and take them home, with plans to move them to the soccer team as soon as possible. When all is said and done, there are only ten players left on the home team. The team's not great, but it's not bad. They're a .500 club in Class 4A, with a reasonable line and slightly above average running back. One receiver made all-district last year and the left guard may have a scholarship offer to Montana State. The tight end is all-conference and he's only a sophomore. But they have no quarterback. After exhausting all other options, they look up into the stands where you're just starting to enjoy your blue raspberry snow cone. You have two years of eligibility left from high school even though you're at your current age. and one of the cheerleaders has a pair of cleats in her car that will fit you. They need a quarterback to finish out the season. You have a dream. Assume that there are six games left on the schedule, and you can be at every practice. By the end of the year, how would you perform? Remember, this is happening right now. Your current age, your current weight, your current conditioning. Last edited by Rain Man; 12-08-2014 at 07:03 PM..
Posts: 141,828

12-09-2014, 08:58 AM	#61
lcarus Everybody Lies. Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Casino cash: $1399928	Shit. Back in the day I could have been a running QB maybe. I was pretty quick. I raced Sproles in practice every day and could keep pretty close for a stretch. Now? Like right this instance? I can barely walk up a flight of stairs without getting tired. I'm way too out of shape. Cigarettes and laziness for 14 years....
Posts: 17,367

12-09-2014, 09:01 AM	#62
Simplicity Iowa B1G West Champs Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Front Range of Colorado Casino cash: $9580151	Considering I just finished my high school football season as the starting quarterback... I'd be pretty good.
Posts: 3,693

12-09-2014, 09:07 AM	#63
Dunerdr MVP Join Date: Oct 2012 Casino cash: $1949677	I've got a jacked up shoulder soooo. But at 6'1" 243 I could step in other places. I miss playing 3-4 de in high school. __________________ Adopt-A-Chief- Rachel Santschi
Posts: 11,024

12-09-2014, 09:14 AM	#65
Steron Texting Ms. Dobbs Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Virginia Casino cash: $9418246	Hmmmm.... - 6'0" 265 pounds - 2 right knee surgeries in 6 years - Severe Osteopenia which requires daily pain meds, TENS Unit, and shots in my back several times a year to function - Can throw 50 - 60 yards in the air with a regulation football - 40 yard dash time can be timed on a calendar - Lasik corrected vision - Never played organized football - Vertical leap? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! White men can't jump! I'd say I would be a fiasco.
Posts: 1,673

12-09-2014, 09:15 AM	#66
loochy Hey Loochy, I'm hooome! Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: PooPooKaKaPeePeeShire Casino cash: $1650752	Is it ok to checkdown every time? If so, I think I can do it. __________________ Hey Loochy, I'm hoooome!
Posts: 40,682

12-09-2014, 09:20 AM	#67
stumppy New and Improved Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Springfield, Mo. Casino cash: $998590	i would be pretty good for about 4 plays. After that they'd need to wheel out the oxygen bottle for me. __________________ “As a nation, we can endure damaging policies for a four-year term. But we cannot survive a president willing to terminate our Constitution”
Posts: 21,297

12-09-2014, 09:27 AM	#68
Titty Meat Inmem 2.0 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: My house Casino cash: $1787558	I would complete 4 yard passes to the RB and get a scholarship to the University Of Utah
Posts: 75,602

12-09-2014, 09:38 AM	#69
Willie Lanier Veteran Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canton Casino cash: $8817261	Step one: I'd switch positions to mlb, qb of the defense, step two: the other teams wouldn't score all season, step three: they'd give me the nickname contact... Step four: ???? Step five: canton/profit
Posts: 1,981

12-09-2014, 11:06 AM	#70
Predarat Run Chiefs fans, run!! Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Nashville, TN Casino cash: $9973863	I would be worster than cAssHole
Posts: 10,776

12-09-2014, 11:28 AM	#72
raybec 4 MVP Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: East Jabip Casino cash: $4953807	I'm stunned that more of our CP Heisman trophy finalists haven't chimed in yet.
Posts: 10,938