Life -- Can I level with you all? - Page 5

Simply Red · 10-27-2014, 12:45 PM

Hey Guys,

I am not a big attention whore - and I realize that it's risky to post threads like this. But I have a big secret that I've kept to myself for quite sometime. I have a bad problem (for maybe the last 2-3 months) with major depression.

Last night wasn't good at all - I literally felt like I could have died. I was having sweats, uncontrolled emotional breakdowns and other things that I'm not quite ready to discuss.

Sometimes I wonder if the fact that I had quit drinking without assistance such as AA is part of it and if it would have been a better transition than simply cold-turkey. There's a term called a 'dry drunk' - where the person who'd kicked the habit still has some of the same issues with personality etc etc... I recently had another bad break up - I've gone through enough women in the last two yrs - where I'm starting to wonder if it's me. Nothing seems to last over a month or two.

I need to find some help - but as a business owner it's so hard to find extra time. My social life COULD be much better - but not drinking puts a damper on any 'normal' social mediums - most others use. As well as it's just not the same attending a bar's happy hour sober or at least not in the same relaxed mind set - others are in.

I really don't want to be alone. Man isn't designed to be alone & I've reached a point I'm ready to love and sex can and will be somewhat secondary - I'm just ready to have something normal in my life, again.

Anyhow - I'd appreciate it if you had some serious input - jokes are fine too - but I'm not joking and I've been seriously struggling.

I have decent looks, I'm responsible and I have a nice job. So I wonder all of the time "WTF?"

It's not meeting women that's hard - but it's keeping them around.

Ty again you all are the best!

TLO · 10-27-2014, 02:30 PM

You don't think you were having a panic attack last night?

TLO · 10-27-2014, 02:40 PM

The only reason I ask....

That sound a lot like what happens to me when I have a panic attack. I get sweaty, my body feels waek, there's an overwhelming sense of "I'm dying". My vision gets all out of wack. It's an absolutely terrible feeling.

Molitoth · 10-27-2014, 02:47 PM

**** meds,... find a hobby... something you LOVE to do. Put a lot of passion into it, and the person who you are looking for will find their way to you.

I use music as my medicine.

BIG_DADDY · 10-27-2014, 02:54 PM

Train for 1 hour every day and watch those blues go away. Just google workouts and depression. It's the single best thing you can do. Don't get on meds.

Dayze · 10-27-2014, 02:56 PM

I was on venlafaxine, alprazolam, and limotrogine for years. Had to get off of them because I was out of a job and couldn't afford it. Holy shit, it was like coming off of heroin or something. For a good 3 weeks. Horrible. I've since seen a counselor and confided in family members who didnt know about my struggles. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I feel "normal". Still hard, but found coping mechanisms and exercises to seal with the anxiety and depression. My wife notices a huge difference. Its hard without the medicine at times, but more often than not I can deal with things better. I'll never take medication again as long as I can help it. My pm box is open if you need to chat (or anyone else for that matter). I've dealt with this for better part of my adult life (37yrs old).

BucEyedPea · 10-27-2014, 02:59 PM

Simply Red, you're an awesomely nice guy. Don't be too nice and that does not mean be an ass. And don't try too hard, women can sense that.

BucEyedPea · 10-27-2014, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BIG_DADDY

Train for 1 hour every day and watch those blues go away. Just google workouts and depression. It's the single best thing you can do. Don't get on meds.

This. I've overcome depression at two different points in my life without meds. Excercise does help.

Dayze · 10-27-2014, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steron

The best way to describe it is that you feel like your brain is being electrocuted. Mine happen about twice a minute.

Yep. ****ing horrible. Worst shit I've ever experienced.

Simply Red · 10-27-2014, 03:03 PM

I appreciate you guys. I really do.

I'll be okay - I'm going to start tomorrow - by going to Sam to meet for the start of my recovery - & let me say - it's not always bad, but lately it's been really bad, and there's more to the story that i just can't disclose to you all right now.

Thank you again.

BIG_DADDY · 10-27-2014, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red

I appreciate you guys. I really do.

I'll be okay - I'm going to start tomorrow - by going to Sam to meet for the start of my recovery - & let me say - it's not always bad, but lately it's been really bad, and there's more to the story that i just can't disclose to you all right now.

Thank you again.

Yea well your track record is 100% for getting through shit so far. Don't forget that.

spanky 52 · 10-27-2014, 03:05 PM

Exercise an diet can go a long way in helping most depression. No shame in taking medications. Wish I could but everything they've tried on me causes terrible side effects. I've had mild to moderate depression and general anxiety disorder for over five years. From reading this thread there are a lot of us that suffer from some form of mental illness. Pyscho-therapy is a must and if you can take them, medications can help a lot. Don't give up.

mr. tegu · 10-27-2014, 03:14 PM

The event you described in the OP is most likely a panic attack. If I had to guess, the intense emotions, sweating, and feeling of death lasted about 10 minutes with high intensity, with the whole event possibly going longer? You may not be aware of how long it was, but that is normal.

I don't say this to minimize your feelings of depression either. Panic attacks are significantly comorbid (existing simultaneously) with depression. Obviously the relationship between the emotions you are feeling and describing is quite complicated which is why there is almost never one specific trigger or cause for a panic attack, but is instead a combination of things.

If you experience this again try your best to understand your thoughts and/or surroundings leading to the event. This will help you learn your triggers. Also, a really effective treatment that you can do for yourself is to place a wet wash clothe on your forehead and the back of your neck. This helps with the physiological responses that are so stressful such as the sweating, racing heart, and shortness of breath. In turn this will minimize the length of the attack.

**Rausch** · 10-27-2014, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red

I appreciate you guys. I really do.

I'll be okay - I'm going to start tomorrow - by going to Sam to meet for the start of my recovery - & let me say - it's not always bad, but lately it's been really bad, and there's more to the story that i just can't disclose to you all right now.

Thank you again.

I don't see a damned thing wrong with it. Everyone needs help in life. Might be better off, worse off, or completely different than you but we'll all need help at some point.

Asking for it isn't weak - it's smart. It means fixing the problem is more important to you than how you might feel about it at the moment.

And people give AA way more credit that it deserves. The best thing about it is the support that's provided and regularly being able to vent your feelings as needed. I think these last two are things you should definitely look to find right now...

tooge · 10-27-2014, 03:50 PM

SR, sorry to hear that things are going rough right now. Have you tried a "life coach"? I had a guy that I went to see that helped me with some coping issues back in the day. I was always stressed out, and I was having anxiety because of it. Just talking about coping methods, discussing my stressors, etc., really helped me out.

I want to second a post on the first page of this thread. Finding someone to spend time with to bring some sense of normalcy to your life is not the answer. It's not fair to them, and it isn't confronting the real issue. It's like rebound relationships. They make you feel pretty good for a month or so, and then you realize that it's not THE person that is making you feel better, but just the fact that you are with A person.

You need to get to the root of why you are depressed. Is it chemical? Is there something missing in your self confidence and self esteem, and if so, why? You have to start with you first. Once the feeling of needing someone around in order to feel a sense of "normal" in your life is gone, then, and only then, can you really make an attempt to find a person to share your life with. Anything before that, and essentially, you are using them.

I wish you all the best. Life is generally a bitch. However, there is also so much good in life. You just have to find it. What hobbies do you have? What are your passions?

Sorter · 10-27-2014, 03:51 PM

Best wishes SR.

10-27-2014, 12:45 PM
Simply Red You Sweetie! Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $2021206219 VARSITY	-- Can I level with you all? Hey Guys, I am not a big attention whore - and I realize that it's risky to post threads like this. But I have a big secret that I've kept to myself for quite sometime. I have a bad problem (for maybe the last 2-3 months) with major depression. Last night wasn't good at all - I literally felt like I could have died. I was having sweats, uncontrolled emotional breakdowns and other things that I'm not quite ready to discuss. Sometimes I wonder if the fact that I had quit drinking without assistance such as AA is part of it and if it would have been a better transition than simply cold-turkey. There's a term called a 'dry drunk' - where the person who'd kicked the habit still has some of the same issues with personality etc etc... I recently had another bad break up - I've gone through enough women in the last two yrs - where I'm starting to wonder if it's me. Nothing seems to last over a month or two. I need to find some help - but as a business owner it's so hard to find extra time. My social life COULD be much better - but not drinking puts a damper on any 'normal' social mediums - most others use. As well as it's just not the same attending a bar's happy hour sober or at least not in the same relaxed mind set - others are in. I really don't want to be alone. Man isn't designed to be alone & I've reached a point I'm ready to love and sex can and will be somewhat secondary - I'm just ready to have something normal in my life, again. Anyhow - I'd appreciate it if you had some serious input - jokes are fine too - but I'm not joking and I've been seriously struggling. I have decent looks, I'm responsible and I have a nice job. So I wonder all of the time "WTF?" It's not meeting women that's hard - but it's keeping them around. Ty again you all are the best!
Posts: 71,691

10-27-2014, 02:30 PM	#61
TLO Life is changing.. Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: NW Missouri Casino cash: $-180000	You don't think you were having a panic attack last night?
Posts: 40,404

10-27-2014, 02:40 PM	#62
TLO Life is changing.. Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: NW Missouri Casino cash: $-180000	The only reason I ask.... That sound a lot like what happens to me when I have a panic attack. I get sweaty, my body feels waek, there's an overwhelming sense of "I'm dying". My vision gets all out of wack. It's an absolutely terrible feeling.
Posts: 40,404

10-27-2014, 02:47 PM	#63
Molitoth Mahomes Fanboi Join Date: Apr 2004 Casino cash: $1854969	**** meds,... find a hobby... something you LOVE to do. Put a lot of passion into it, and the person who you are looking for will find their way to you. I use music as my medicine.
Posts: 19,758

10-27-2014, 02:54 PM	#64
BIG_DADDY THE RED MENACE Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texas Casino cash: $3948410	Train for 1 hour every day and watch those blues go away. Just google workouts and depression. It's the single best thing you can do. Don't get on meds. __________________ The diabolical genius of Marxism-Socialism is that it provides the emotional and intellectual road map for autocrats to persuade millions of people to support their own enslavement to government. ~Mark Levin April 15, 2019
Posts: 32,438

10-27-2014, 02:56 PM	#65
Dayze Resident Glue Sniffer Join Date: Nov 2003 Casino cash: $3859358	I was on venlafaxine, alprazolam, and limotrogine for years. Had to get off of them because I was out of a job and couldn't afford it. Holy shit, it was like coming off of heroin or something. For a good 3 weeks. Horrible. I've since seen a counselor and confided in family members who didnt know about my struggles. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I feel "normal". Still hard, but found coping mechanisms and exercises to seal with the anxiety and depression. My wife notices a huge difference. Its hard without the medicine at times, but more often than not I can deal with things better. I'll never take medication again as long as I can help it. My pm box is open if you need to chat (or anyone else for that matter). I've dealt with this for better part of my adult life (37yrs old). __________________ Life is 99% inspiration, 1% Perspiration, and 1% Attention to Detial. RIP & Godspeed: Saccoppo Lonewolf Ed Fire Me Boy
Posts: 37,394

10-27-2014, 02:59 PM	#66
BucEyedPea Yum! Buc Marshmellows! Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: None of your business Casino cash: $2029963	Simply Red, you're an awesomely nice guy. Don't be too nice and that does not mean be an ass. And don't try too hard, women can sense that.
Posts: 163,910

10-27-2014, 03:03 PM	#69
Simply Red You Sweetie! Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $2021206219 VARSITY	I appreciate you guys. I really do. I'll be okay - I'm going to start tomorrow - by going to Sam to meet for the start of my recovery - & let me say - it's not always bad, but lately it's been really bad, and there's more to the story that i just can't disclose to you all right now. Thank you again.
Posts: 71,691

10-27-2014, 03:05 PM	#71
spanky 52 Veteran Join Date: Mar 2008 Casino cash: $1255601	Exercise an diet can go a long way in helping most depression. No shame in taking medications. Wish I could but everything they've tried on me causes terrible side effects. I've had mild to moderate depression and general anxiety disorder for over five years. From reading this thread there are a lot of us that suffer from some form of mental illness. Pyscho-therapy is a must and if you can take them, medications can help a lot. Don't give up.
Posts: 1,027

10-27-2014, 03:14 PM	#72
mr. tegu Forever Royal Join Date: Mar 2012 Casino cash: $491300	The event you described in the OP is most likely a panic attack. If I had to guess, the intense emotions, sweating, and feeling of death lasted about 10 minutes with high intensity, with the whole event possibly going longer? You may not be aware of how long it was, but that is normal. I don't say this to minimize your feelings of depression either. Panic attacks are significantly comorbid (existing simultaneously) with depression. Obviously the relationship between the emotions you are feeling and describing is quite complicated which is why there is almost never one specific trigger or cause for a panic attack, but is instead a combination of things. If you experience this again try your best to understand your thoughts and/or surroundings leading to the event. This will help you learn your triggers. Also, a really effective treatment that you can do for yourself is to place a wet wash clothe on your forehead and the back of your neck. This helps with the physiological responses that are so stressful such as the sweating, racing heart, and shortness of breath. In turn this will minimize the length of the attack.
Posts: 24,889

10-27-2014, 03:50 PM	#74
tooge MVP Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Liberty, MO Casino cash: $2624112	SR, sorry to hear that things are going rough right now. Have you tried a "life coach"? I had a guy that I went to see that helped me with some coping issues back in the day. I was always stressed out, and I was having anxiety because of it. Just talking about coping methods, discussing my stressors, etc., really helped me out. I want to second a post on the first page of this thread. Finding someone to spend time with to bring some sense of normalcy to your life is not the answer. It's not fair to them, and it isn't confronting the real issue. It's like rebound relationships. They make you feel pretty good for a month or so, and then you realize that it's not THE person that is making you feel better, but just the fact that you are with A person. You need to get to the root of why you are depressed. Is it chemical? Is there something missing in your self confidence and self esteem, and if so, why? You have to start with you first. Once the feeling of needing someone around in order to feel a sense of "normal" in your life is gone, then, and only then, can you really make an attempt to find a person to share your life with. Anything before that, and essentially, you are using them. I wish you all the best. Life is generally a bitch. However, there is also so much good in life. You just have to find it. What hobbies do you have? What are your passions?
Posts: 16,033