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Old 08-05-2014, 07:47 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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My boyfriend of 4 years doesn't want to get married because of reddit
http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromoso...t_want_to_get/

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For all of my life I always thought I would get married one day and have children. When I met my boyfriend I was sure that he was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Things between us were great we moved in together after 6 months of dating and things were great. My boyfriend compared to other guys I dated had the best clean up habits, and we never argued about chores or any of that stuff.

We started making wedding plans however, every time we would set a time frame or so he would back off. I talked to my friends and family they told me to just give him space and that things will sort themselves out. I took a more hands off approach however, that didn't work either. I eventually confronted him if we are ever going to get married and he told me it will be a couple months after his younger sister's wedding.

I was ecstatic, and I started making plans on who would be my bridesmaids, where it would be, all the little details. However, when time started to roll around he told me that he is up for getting married he just doesn't want the legal trouble. He told me that he is okay with having a wedding ceremony, but we would not be getting a marriage contract.

I fought with him a lot on this, we argued and basically his fears are that he will end up like spreadsheet husband, or I would divorce him and ruin him financially. I asked him if he would accept getting a prenup, but he told me no, that those can be thrown out. He never had these fears of marriage until reddit. He has read a lot of the men's rights sections and they have convinced him that marriage is horrible.

I don't know what to do now, had I known this was his position earlier I would never have stayed with him. I don't want to be someone's girlfriend when I am 40,50. I want to have the respect of being his wife. I want to know that he will give me and our future family the commitment of marriage. As of now, my options are rather bleak.

a). Go along with his deal, have a wedding but no marriage. and hope for the best.

b). Look to try to find someone new in my 30s and get married and have kids in an extremely short and rushed time line.

c). Try to find someone, end up alone and never get to experience motherhood.

If you ladies have any tips for me please share.
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Old 08-06-2014, 06:49 AM   #61
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Good thoughts and prayers to you Clayton.
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Old 08-06-2014, 07:30 AM   #62
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Old 08-06-2014, 07:32 AM   #63
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The old adage still holds true - why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?
I saw something on Facebook that made me chuckle. The picture used this line as something men have always said. It went on to say that women have become more progressive in their own right, and why would they want to buy the whole pig when all they ever get is a little sausage.
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Old 08-06-2014, 07:33 AM   #64
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This is a serious issue for people. Getting married can be a seriously bad decision for men based on state and federal law and "family court" isn t really fair for men at all.
Just from a tax standpoint, there have been a number of feature stories highlighting some younger couples not getting married simply because the hit on income with their current salaries and outstanding debt like student loans, they are just keeping afloat. So, they don't get married purely for remaining economically above water.
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Old 08-06-2014, 07:59 AM   #65
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Originally Posted by Anyong Bluth View Post
Just from a tax standpoint, there have been a number of feature stories highlighting some younger couples not getting married simply because the hit on income with their current salaries and outstanding debt like student loans, they are just keeping afloat. So, they don't get married purely for remaining economically above water.
On Reddit they call this gen the "lost generation." I think a lot of millennials, myself included, are having trouble in this very down economy and are finding it very hard to really save anything for themselves, nevermind saving and supporting someone else. A lot of people that I personally know in my gen are not getting married pretty much because of this. We are also all mercenaries/free agents in the love scene, and apps like Tinder, dating websites, FB make it too easy to jump in and out of relationships. Marriage is a tricky endeavor when you have all of this uncertainty in your life.
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Old 08-06-2014, 08:17 AM   #66
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Once they start living together for a specific amount of time they become legally married anyway.
This
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Old 08-06-2014, 08:25 AM   #67
Dave Lane Dave Lane is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GordonGekko View Post
On Reddit they call this gen the "lost generation." I think a lot of millennials, myself included, are having trouble in this very down economy and are finding it very hard to really save anything for themselves, nevermind saving and supporting someone else. A lot of people that I personally know in my gen are not getting married pretty much because of this. We are also all mercenaries/free agents in the love scene, and apps like Tinder, dating websites, FB make it too easy to jump in and out of relationships. Marriage is a tricky endeavor when you have all of this uncertainty in your life.
Marriage is a horrible idea unless you are very needy or are planning on having children together.
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Old 08-06-2014, 08:41 AM   #68
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Old 08-06-2014, 09:27 AM   #69
ThaVirus ThaVirus is offline
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My boyfriend of 4 years doesn't want to get married because of reddit
Quote:
Originally Posted by GordonGekko View Post
On Reddit they call this gen the "lost generation." I think a lot of millennials, myself included, are having trouble in this very down economy and are finding it very hard to really save anything for themselves, nevermind saving and supporting someone else. A lot of people that I personally know in my gen are not getting married pretty much because of this. We are also all mercenaries/free agents in the love scene, and apps like Tinder, dating websites, FB make it too easy to jump in and out of relationships. Marriage is a tricky endeavor when you have all of this uncertainty in your life.

I went to the bank yesterday to deposit some money. The bank teller asked me if I'd been saving for a while. I said "Yeah.. Why do you ask?". She said she doesn't see many young people saving these days.

No one wants to hire us fresh out of college. You need experience in these tough times.

.. And totally agree on the dating scene. We're too linked in.
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Old 08-06-2014, 09:50 AM   #70
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This dude did nothing wrong. Nothing. He is willing to compromise and she isn't.
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Old 08-06-2014, 09:52 AM   #71
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Old 08-06-2014, 09:57 AM   #72
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Clay, it's good you two have options in this day and age. Good luck to you both
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Old 08-06-2014, 10:09 AM   #73
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Hang in there Clay, someday he will propose to you....

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Old 08-06-2014, 10:20 AM   #74
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Clay, it's good you two have options in this day and age. Good luck to you both
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Hang in there Clay, someday he will propose to you....

Until then, keep your chin up and throat relaxed... You gots this...


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Old 08-06-2014, 10:27 AM   #75
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