My cunning plan to fix the NFL draft order and why it's a problem

[RealSNR]

EDIT: Here's your new 2014 NFL draft order. Or how it should be under my method:

Spoiler!

20. Ravens (8-8, 10-6, 12-4) 30-18
19. Steelers (8-8, 8-8, 12-4) 28-20
18. Falcons (10-6, 13-3, 4-12) 27-21
17. Bears (8-8, 10-6, 8-8) 26-22
16. Giants (9-7, 9-7, 7-9) 25-23
t-15. Cowboys (8-8, 8-8, 8-8) 24-24
t-14. Houston (2-14, 12-4, 10-6) 24-24
13. Cardinals (8-8, 5-11, 10-6) 23-25
t-12. New York Jets (8-8, 6-10, 8-8) 22-26
t-11. Tennessee (7-9, 6-10, 9-7) 22-26
t-10. Lions (10-6, 4-12, 7-9) 21-27
t-9. Miami (6-10, 7-9, 8-8) 21-27
8. Vikings (3-13, 10-6, 5-10-1) 18-29-1
t-7. Redskins (5-11, 10-6, 3-13) 18-30
t-6. Buffalo (6-10, 6-10, 6-10) 18-30
5. Rams (2-14, 7-8-1, 7-9) 16-31-1
4. Bucs (4-12, 7-9, 4-12) 15-33
3. Browns (4-12, 5-11, 4-12) 13-35
2. Oakland (4-12, 4-12, 4-12) 12-36
1. Jacksonville (4-12, 2-14, 5-11) 11-37

Okay, so this will never ****ing happen, unless Clark Hunt or some big time dickswinger reads Chiefs Planet. I acknowledge that. But just as a thought exercise, I was trying to figure out a way that the NFL might possibly fix its biggest problem-- the fact that Andrew Luck plays for the Indianapolis Colts and why it really is a problem not only for nearly all of the NFL's fans but also for the money-grubbing asshole executives who run the league.

To cut down on space for the TL;DR folks, I'm spoilering my reasoning for why the draft order determining method needs to be changed. I strongly encourage you to read it before ripping my idea to shreds. Otherwise I'll tell you to go fist your sister.

Spoiler!

Parity is great and a huge part of why the NFL has been so successful in the last 20 years. I think the league is at its best when surprise teams make resurgences. Sports fans are average people, and average people are morons, and morons thrive on human interest rags-to-riches-template feel good stories. People eat that shit up. When the Cleveland Browns finally rise out of the muck, they'll be one of the most beloved teams in the league of the average fan, similar to the Arizona Cardinals in 2009 or the 1999 Rams. Yet as it is now, the only way to give bad teams swift kicks in the asses in the right direction is in giving them a whopping TWO favorable games over their opponents (and in a constantly changing environment even THAT'S not guaranteed). The other is the NFL draft, which is hardly a unique phenomenon to sports at all. That's it. That's what the NFL does to help those teams help the NFL. It's missing out on some cash.

Well, here we have the Cleveland ****ing Browns. The Buffalo Bills. The Oakland Raiders. How the **** is it that these teams can suck so hard for so long, yet the team that gets Andrew Luck is the Indianapolis ****ing Colts?

"Just works out that way, I guess. Nothing you can do about it."

"Those teams are shitty because they're run by shitty people. That's why."

"Quit yer bitching, SNR."

Let me respond to #3 first: Go eat a flaming AIDS sandwich with antifreeze sauce.

On point #2: Yes, you're half right. The lack of a true star at ANY position on all those teams (with the exception of Josh Gordon for the Browns in the past season) lends itself to those teams not having a ****ing clue at all how to evaluate talent in the draft. So what? The NFL STILL has to deal with these sad sack franchises sucking dick each and every year with no end in sight. And really, until the Chiefs prove they can win a playoff game or make the playoffs two years in a row or more, they're in the exact same ****ing boat. And this is a problem. It's one thing if a team with a huge fanbase makes this shit happen. It's another if it's the Indianapolis ****ing Colts that do this shit. And from the fan's perspective, who wants to watch the same team in the playoffs year after year when they did absolutely NOTHING to extend that tenure of playoff success for another decade or more?

"It just works out that way, I guess. Nothing you can do about it."

Wrong. Dead ****ing wrong. It doesn't have to work out that way. The NBA is currently going through a problem known as Shitty League Syndrome when a near guaranteed big-time draft class comes up. Teams tank it. It only makes sense for them to tank given that the sport as it is has a small amount of players per team with positional importance spread out somewhat evenly (i.e. who cares if they're a C or PG? A star is a star-- get more stars, get more wins). The NFL, with a whopping 22 starting players compared to the NBA's 5 has an advantage to prevent teams from tanking. There are just too many positions to go around to worry about tanking it for this or that player. The positions are also widely dispersed in terms of value to the team, with each position having its own pros and cons in the nuances of how to go about investing in talent. It's so complicated, and that's why the NFL draft has become the monster success that it is.

But when you bend the rules as the NFL has done to favor offenses, scoring, and AHEM COUGH COUGH HACCCCK CCKHHHAUGUUUGHH COUGH COUGHUHCH TEAMS WITH QBS WHO RAPE FACES....... *cough*... you're taking away from that nuance. It becomes all about the quarterback. And these rules aren't going to get better. They're going to get worse. That means already brilliant QBs like Andrew Luck are going to have their team value inflated even MORE than it is now.

It's becoming the case that the NFL has to start regulating the flow of these players. Not by hand-picking the teams, but just by setting out to really accomplish the mission of the NFL draft order system, where the worst teams receive the higher picks.

The problem that the NFL has on its hands in the past few years is that it's becoming the case that the REAL worst teams in the league aren't receiving those top picks. A team like the 2011 Colts was bad for one season out of a zillion years of good seasons. They didn't slowly decline. They weren't inconsistent and up-and-down from year to year. They were brilliant under a franchise QB and then they sucked when he got injured. And then they were proclaimed to be the worst team in the league.

And that's not true. Nor is it right. The Cleveland Browns and the St. Louis Rams have been struggling teams for years. It's not right that their marginal improvements (4-12 instead of 2-14) mean they were less deserving of that top pick. It means they are bad because they don't know how to stop losing. That's a worse kind of bad, and a team problem that needs more assistance through player development and the draft.

How the new draft order will work:

1. All tiebreakers from strength of schedule to the coin flip will stay they same. The tiebreakers aren't the issue here, but if you have a more elegant solution, I'd love to hear about it.

2. Seeding for playoff teams (21-32) will stay the same.

3. Seeding for slots 1-20 will be based on the COMBINED W/L record of the past THREE seasons.

4. That's it. The rest stays the same. Rookie contract slotting, trading, everything.

By ranking non-playoff teams in order of combined record over many seasons, you improve the league in so many ways. Here are just a few:

1. You eliminate the possibility of a team that just conveniently got bad in a good draft year for a top QB (or other player, I guess). In this scenario, the Colts would have been still at home ****ing themselves with dildos because they suck. That's the most important reason to do this.

2. There will be fewer exceptionally shitty divisions. And while this problem usually gets solved within a few seasons (See NFC West before 2012, AFC West before 2013), there is still always a lemon division out there that can mess with determining who the real best teams are for the playoffs and who just got a good schedule. Fixing that so shitty teams have a better chance to raise the basement level of the division would go a long way. It would further confirm the Parcells mantra: "You are what your record says you are." And that's what we want, right?

3. Good teams that just get bit in the ass one year (2013 Houston Texans) have no incentive to lose hope and say "**** it." In other words, in this system now teams actually DO play to win the game. Your season might be over, but you're still not gonna get a grand prize for losing, other than the chance to fire your shithead Patriot Way general manager and all his pussydick cronies and henchmen. You gotta be REALLY terrible in order to get that treasure, which isn't worth it to any team. The competition bar would be raised, and even late-season games with terrible teams would have some better entertainment value.

Thus, the TRULY terrible teams are guaranteed the top spots. And I think that's what the draft should be all about-- giving the worst teams the best chance to get out of that losing pit.

Comment, rate, subscribe.

[mnchiefsguy]

I like it. It is fair, and would have the benefit of preventing a team from tanking it for the #1 pick (I am looking at you, ****ing cheating Indy). Teams would have to tank three years, and which teams are going to risk alienating their entire fanbase for 3 years?

[Dayze]

"This is an excellent idea. I'm glad I thought of it" / Godell

[ct]

bump, solid take

REP my friend

[Hydrae]

Thanks for the bump. I have seen this mentioned a couple of times but had not seen it before.

Well done, SNR. This would certainly help to even out the spoils of the draft from year to year.

I also liked Sully's point about resigning existing players having a lower cap hit. This would allow homegrown players to stay put and actually put more focus on good drafting.

[Mr. Laz]

So teams will now tank every game to make sure to keep their 3-year average as low as possible.

congrats ... zero wins is now the goal, not just enough to get the 1st pick.

[RealSNR]

Originally Posted by Mr. Laz

So teams will now tank every game to make sure to keep their 3-year average as low as possible.

congrats ... zero wins is now the goal, not just enough to get the 1st pick.

No, you ****ing moron.

Teams tank seasons RIGHT NOW. My plan makes it far more difficult for them to tank, because they have to do it for 3 seasons in a ****ing row.

Your only case against this plan is to say, "But the Browns can just tank every year year after year!", and THAT'S THE ****ING POINT. If the Browns are going to wallow and suck and be bad, then my draft system gives them an extra boost out of that mired shithole they're in. Yes, they can just tank the next season, and their high loss average from previous seasons will still let them stay near the top, but guess what? THAT'S WHAT THEY CAN ****ING DO NOW. Right now the Browns can tank a season and get a high draft pick. What would they do under my system? TANK A SEASON AND GET A HIGH DRAFT PICK. OH THE ****ING HUMANITY.

You're a ****ing idiot. My idea is brilliant. Go the **** away. You're getting stupid germs on my glorious thread.

[In58men]

Originally Posted by SNR

No, you ****ing moron.

Teams tank seasons RIGHT NOW. My plan makes it far more difficult for them to tank, because they have to do it for 3 seasons in a ****ing row.

Your only case against this plan is to say, "But the Browns can just tank every year year after year!", and THAT'S THE ****ING POINT. If the Browns are going to wallow and suck and be bad, then my draft system gives them an extra boost out of that mired shithole they're in. Yes, they can just tank the next season, and their high loss average from previous seasons will still let them stay near the top, but guess what? THAT'S WHAT THEY CAN ****ING DO NOW. Right now the Browns can tank a season and get a high draft pick. What would they do under my system? TANK A SEASON AND GET A HIGH DRAFT PICK. OH THE ****ING HUMANITY.

You're a ****ing idiot. My idea is brilliant. Go the **** away. You're getting stupid germs on my glorious thread.

NSFW

Spoiler!

[King_Chief_Fan]

Wow...all of this because you are butt hurt over Luck playing for the Colts

[Mr. Laz]

Originally Posted by SNR

No, you ****ing moron.

Teams tank seasons RIGHT NOW. My plan makes it far more difficult for them to tank, because they have to do it for 3 seasons in a ****ing row.

Your only case against this plan is to say, "But the Browns can just tank every year year after year!", and THAT'S THE ****ING POINT. If the Browns are going to wallow and suck and be bad, then my draft system gives them an extra boost out of that mired shithole they're in. Yes, they can just tank the next season, and their high loss average from previous seasons will still let them stay near the top, but guess what? THAT'S WHAT THEY CAN ****ING DO NOW. Right now the Browns can tank a season and get a high draft pick. What would they do under my system? TANK A SEASON AND GET A HIGH DRAFT PICK. OH THE ****ING HUMANITY.

You're a ****ing idiot. My idea is brilliant. Go the **** away. You're getting stupid germs on my glorious thread.

yes, you steaming pile of shit ... it would make it so hard for Cleveland,Jacksonville and oakland to keep tanking.

The shitty teams would just makes sure and lose ALL their games to make sure their 3-year average stays shittier than the other shitty teams. It would just create super-tanking by the crappy teams.

The only thing your dumb ass plan does is keep a really good team from benefiting from a single bad year.

A much simpler and more effective fix:

flip-flip the draft order of the non-playoff teams.

playoff teams still pick #20-32 with the super bowl winner picking last

#1-19 would be reversed from the current order

The last team that didn't make the playoffs gets rewarded with the #1 pick

The team with the worse record picks #19.

Then teams would be fighting to win games late in the year. The teams that almost make the playoffs would get a high picks, helping them take the final and hardest step to the playoffs.

All these shitty teams aren't making good use of the highest picks now anyway. Stop rewarding them with picks they have no idea how to use.

Now that's a real fix.

you suck

[Skyy God]

Originally Posted by MagicHef

Rams would have had the opportunity to draft Luck. Would they have traded the pick like they did for RGIII?

Probably not. The Rams front office loves fatties.

[TimBone]

Originally Posted by Mr. Laz

yes, you steaming pile of shit ... it would make it so hard for Cleveland,Jacksonville and oakland to keep tanking.

The shitty teams would just makes sure and lose ALL their games to make sure their 3-year average stays shittier than the other shitty teams. It would just create super-tanking by the crappy teams.

The only think your dumb ass plan does is keep a really good team from benefiting from a single bad year.

A much simpler and more effective fix:

flip-flip the draft order of the non-playoff teams.

playoff teams still pick #20-32 with the super bowl winner picking last

#1-19 would be reversed from the current order

The last team that didn't make the playoffs gets rewarded with the #1 pick

The team with the worse record picks #19.

Then teams would be fighting to win games late in the year. The teams that almost make the playoffs would get a high picks, helping them take the final and hardest step to the playoffs.

All these shitty teams aren't making good use of the highest picks now anyway. Stop rewarding them with picks they have no idea how to use.

Now that's a real fix.

you suck

It's just as much of an awful idea in this thread as it was in the other thread.

[morphius]

Originally Posted by Buehler445

Weighted average would be better than combined average. If they sucked ass 3 years ago, it shouldn't count for more than the current year. I'd propose:

2013 = 2x
2012 = 1x
2011 = .5x

Could we also throw in some weight for each consecutive year a team doesn't win a playoff game

[kcfanXIII]

I like the idea of flip flopping the worst five records. That way, the shitty teams still get good picks, but it eliminates the incentive to tank for the worst record/top pick. Just my thoughts on it.

[RealSNR]

Originally Posted by Mr. Laz

The only thing your dumb ass plan does is keep a really good team from benefiting from a single bad year.

That is THE WORST ****ING PROBLEM WITH THE DRAFT AS IT IS YOU MOTHER****ING IDIOT

What's your obsession with making sure Cleveland and Jacksonville get ****ed out of high draft picks that they deserve? They're shitty teams. The truly WORST shitty teams. No Houston or Kansas City is going to outsuck them. No team is going to say, "Gosh darn it I wish we could have the top draft pick every now and then. Let's start sucking, but not just for one year. Let's do it for at least 3 consecutive years! That'll show those shitty teams!"

Your reasons for why my plan won't work have been shown to be full of shit. In fact, the only thing more full of shit is YOUR proposal. That's the worst ****ing idea I've ever heard. Want to make sure Cleveland and Jacksonville are never ever good ever again? Implement your plan. That's not the point of the NFL draft. What you're saying is that the NFL draft is some magical thing that teams suckle off of and pre-determine their fates. Newsflash: They don't. There's only one position that can make teams do that, and that's if there's a top QB available in that year. Under my system, teams are PREVENTED from tanking to get that player.

Under your system, the teams that need that QB will never get one, and they'll be mired in suck for a lot longer than if they just had the opportunity to draft the right guy.