Funny Stuff Clean jokes can be funny too! - Page 37

Frankie · 05:17 PM

Or at least good for a chuckle. Here's something completely different (for this BB). This thread is dedicated to ONLY CLEAN JOKES. Please post any clean joke that you find funny or at least amusing. We will not call you "dorks." Not in this thread. Let's see what you've got,... and share them.

Don't worry about repeat jokes. Nobody has time to check all posts.

**Bwana** · 07-22-2008, 04:25 PM

Heads Up Scam - Be Careful!!!

[FONT='Calibri','sans-serif']
[FONT='Calibri','sans-serif'][/FONT]
[FONT='Tahoma','sans-serif']Be Careful - A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two very hot 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen May 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th & 24th. Also June 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 24th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful.

P.S. Wal-Mart has wallets on sale 2.99 each[/FONT]

[/FONT]

greg63 · 07-22-2008, 04:41 PM

Subject: Corporate Policy

NEW CORPORATE POLICY

Dear Staff, It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.

If we see you wearing Prada sneakers & carrying a Gucci bad we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

PERSONAL DAYS: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

LUNCH BREAK: Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to get more so that they can look healthy. Average size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Dieting people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a slim fast.

SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offenders” category.

SURGERY: As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a great day!

Rooster · 07-24-2008, 12:26 PM

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"

Frankie · 07-29-2008, 12:06 PM

MARRIAGE, BEFORE AND AFTER

Before marriage.....

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to top.

**gblowfish** · 07-30-2008, 08:50 AM

Horse, A Chicken & A Harley
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.

Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit.

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story?

"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks

greg63 · 07-30-2008, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rooster

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frankie

MARRIAGE, BEFORE AND AFTER

Before marriage.....

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to top.

OUTSTANDING!

Frankie · 08-01-2008, 11:41 AM

Two little old ladies were attending a rather long church service. One leaned over and whispered, "My butt is going to sleep."

"I know," replied her companion, "I heard it snore three times."

Rooster · 08-07-2008, 12:43 PM

A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open one of these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," he said.

Things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and the CEO was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."

The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street -- responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize."

This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.

After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."

Rooster · 08-12-2008, 03:23 PM

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don’t try to fool me because I can tell the difference.”

The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year scotch.

The man takes a sip, scowls and says, “Bartender, this crap is 5-year scotch. I told you I want 12-year scotch.”

The bartender tries once more with 8-year scotch.

The man takes a sip, grimaces and says, “Bartender, I don’t want 8-year scotch like this filth. Give me 12-year scotch!”

Impressed, the bartender gets the 12-year scotch, the man takes a sip and sighs, “Ah, now that’s the real thing.”

A disgusting, grimy, stinking drunk has been watching all this with great interest. He stumbles over and sets a glass down in front of the man and says, “Hey, I think that’s really far out what you can do. Try this one.”

The man takes a sip and immediately spits out the liquid and cries, “Yechhh! This stuff tastes like piss!”

The drunk’s eyes light up and he says, “Yeah, now how old am I?”

Rooster · 09-05-2008, 03:15 PM

A golfer was addressing his ball, getting ready to shoot. Just as he was about ready to hit, a voice came over the PA system: "Will the gentleman on the lady's tee please move back to the men's tee?"

He looked up, looked back down and then resumed addressing the ball again. The voice again boomed, "Will the man on the red tees PLEASE MOVE BACK to the white tees?!"

He looked back at the starters shack and yelled, "Will the IDIOT on the PA shut up so that the man on the lady's tee can hit his second shot"!

Rooster · 09-08-2008, 09:35 AM

There was a Chiefs fan with an upper level seat at Arrowhead Stadium. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste," he made his way down to the empty seat.

When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?"

The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Chiefs fan."

"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss," The other man replied, "May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?"

The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."

Demonpenz · 09-08-2008, 10:02 AM

whats the two sexiest farm animals

brown chicken brown cow

(say like bow chicka wow wow)

cookster50 · 09-08-2008, 12:07 PM

(Jeopardy)
Answer. Herm Edwards
Question. What NFL head coach is also known as "The Offense Killa?"

Oh wait, that's not a joke....

Redrum_69 · 09-08-2008, 12:11 PM

What did Pollard say to Tom Brady after causing the season ending hit?

OH SNAP!

**gblowfish** · 09-10-2008, 10:17 AM

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied. "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would be asking for trouble.

"Oh, no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "and if the damn ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today.

09-25-2005, 09:00 AM
Frankie Banned Join Date: Jul 2001 Casino cash: $10004900	Clean jokes can be funny too! Or at least good for a chuckle. Here's something completely different (for this BB). This thread is dedicated to ONLY CLEAN JOKES. Please post any clean joke that you find funny or at least amusing. We will not call you "dorks." Not in this thread. Let's see what you've got,... and share them. Don't worry about repeat jokes. Nobody has time to check all posts. Last edited by Frankie; 07-10-2011 at 05:17 PM..
Posts: 26,959

07-22-2008, 04:25 PM	#541
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2139223647	Heads Up Scam - Be Careful!!! [FONT='Calibri','sans-serif'] [FONT='Calibri','sans-serif'][/FONT] [FONT='Tahoma','sans-serif']Be Careful - A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works: Two very hot 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen May 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th & 24th. Also June 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 24th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend. So tell your friends to be careful. P.S. Wal-Mart has wallets on sale 2.99 each[/FONT] [/FONT] __________________ Adventure is dangerous....but monotony can kill you.
Posts: 69,789

07-22-2008, 04:41 PM	#542
greg63 Homer go crazy!!! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: SE Kansas Casino cash: $9134990	Subject: Corporate Policy NEW CORPORATE POLICY Dear Staff, It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers & carrying a Gucci bad we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. PERSONAL DAYS: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday. LUNCH BREAK: Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to get more so that they can look healthy. Average size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Dieting people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a slim fast. SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offenders” category. SURGERY: As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere. Have a great day! __________________
Posts: 17,619

07-24-2008, 12:26 PM	#543
Rooster Draft a QB Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: JoCo Casino cash: $9961689	John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates." About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner." Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom" __________________ When Reno Hightower was a prick he was the best damn quarterback in the history of Kern County.
Posts: 5,753

07-29-2008, 12:06 PM	#544
Frankie Banned Join Date: Jul 2001 Casino cash: $10004900	MARRIAGE, BEFORE AND AFTER Before marriage..... He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. She: Do you want me to leave? He: No! Don't even think about it. She: Do you love me? He: Of course! Over and over! She: Have you ever cheated on me? He: No! Why are you even asking? She: Will you kiss me? He: Every chance I get. She: Will you hit me? He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person! She: Can I trust you? He: Yes. She: Darling! After marriage.... Simply read from bottom to top.
Posts: 26,959

07-30-2008, 08:50 AM	#545
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $17596178 VARSITY	Horse, A Chicken & A Harley On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life. The moral of the story? "When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks
Posts: 40,843

08-01-2008, 11:41 AM	#547
Frankie Banned Join Date: Jul 2001 Casino cash: $10004900	Two little old ladies were attending a rather long church service. One leaned over and whispered, "My butt is going to sleep." "I know," replied her companion, "I heard it snore three times."
Posts: 26,959

08-07-2008, 12:43 PM	#548
Rooster Draft a QB Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: JoCo Casino cash: $9961689	A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open one of these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," he said. Things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and the CEO was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor." The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street -- responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him. About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded. After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said, "Prepare three envelopes." __________________ When Reno Hightower was a prick he was the best damn quarterback in the history of Kern County.
Posts: 5,753

08-12-2008, 03:23 PM	#549
Rooster Draft a QB Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: JoCo Casino cash: $9961689	A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don’t try to fool me because I can tell the difference.” The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says, “Bartender, this crap is 5-year scotch. I told you I want 12-year scotch.” The bartender tries once more with 8-year scotch. The man takes a sip, grimaces and says, “Bartender, I don’t want 8-year scotch like this filth. Give me 12-year scotch!” Impressed, the bartender gets the 12-year scotch, the man takes a sip and sighs, “Ah, now that’s the real thing.” A disgusting, grimy, stinking drunk has been watching all this with great interest. He stumbles over and sets a glass down in front of the man and says, “Hey, I think that’s really far out what you can do. Try this one.” The man takes a sip and immediately spits out the liquid and cries, “Yechhh! This stuff tastes like piss!” The drunk’s eyes light up and he says, “Yeah, now how old am I?” __________________ When Reno Hightower was a prick he was the best damn quarterback in the history of Kern County.
Posts: 5,753

09-05-2008, 03:15 PM	#550
Rooster Draft a QB Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: JoCo Casino cash: $9961689	A golfer was addressing his ball, getting ready to shoot. Just as he was about ready to hit, a voice came over the PA system: "Will the gentleman on the lady's tee please move back to the men's tee?" He looked up, looked back down and then resumed addressing the ball again. The voice again boomed, "Will the man on the red tees PLEASE MOVE BACK to the white tees?!" He looked back at the starters shack and yelled, "Will the IDIOT on the PA shut up so that the man on the lady's tee can hit his second shot"! __________________ When Reno Hightower was a prick he was the best damn quarterback in the history of Kern County.
Posts: 5,753

09-08-2008, 09:35 AM	#551
Rooster Draft a QB Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: JoCo Casino cash: $9961689	Old but worth a chuckle. There was a Chiefs fan with an upper level seat at Arrowhead Stadium. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste," he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?" The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Chiefs fan." "I'm so sorry to hear of your loss," The other man replied, "May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied, "They're all at the funeral." __________________ When Reno Hightower was a prick he was the best damn quarterback in the history of Kern County.
Posts: 5,753

09-08-2008, 10:02 AM	#552
Demonpenz Woman should only make babies Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $2902136	whats the two sexiest farm animals brown chicken brown cow (say like bow chicka wow wow) __________________
Posts: 54,304

09-08-2008, 12:07 PM	#553
cookster50 Supreme Commander of My House Join Date: Apr 2004 Casino cash: $2953622	(Jeopardy) Answer. Herm Edwards Question. What NFL head coach is also known as "The Offense Killa?" Oh wait, that's not a joke....
Posts: 3,431

09-08-2008, 12:11 PM	#554
Redrum_69 Banned Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: your nightmares Casino cash: $10004900	What did Pollard say to Tom Brady after causing the season ending hit? OH SNAP!
Posts: 6,358

09-10-2008, 10:17 AM	#555
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $17596178 VARSITY	Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied. "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would be asking for trouble. "Oh, no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "and if the damn ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today.
Posts: 40,843