Life -- Can I level with you all? - Page 3

Simply Red · 10-27-2014, 12:45 PM

Hey Guys,

I am not a big attention whore - and I realize that it's risky to post threads like this. But I have a big secret that I've kept to myself for quite sometime. I have a bad problem (for maybe the last 2-3 months) with major depression.

Last night wasn't good at all - I literally felt like I could have died. I was having sweats, uncontrolled emotional breakdowns and other things that I'm not quite ready to discuss.

Sometimes I wonder if the fact that I had quit drinking without assistance such as AA is part of it and if it would have been a better transition than simply cold-turkey. There's a term called a 'dry drunk' - where the person who'd kicked the habit still has some of the same issues with personality etc etc... I recently had another bad break up - I've gone through enough women in the last two yrs - where I'm starting to wonder if it's me. Nothing seems to last over a month or two.

I need to find some help - but as a business owner it's so hard to find extra time. My social life COULD be much better - but not drinking puts a damper on any 'normal' social mediums - most others use. As well as it's just not the same attending a bar's happy hour sober or at least not in the same relaxed mind set - others are in.

I really don't want to be alone. Man isn't designed to be alone & I've reached a point I'm ready to love and sex can and will be somewhat secondary - I'm just ready to have something normal in my life, again.

Anyhow - I'd appreciate it if you had some serious input - jokes are fine too - but I'm not joking and I've been seriously struggling.

I have decent looks, I'm responsible and I have a nice job. So I wonder all of the time "WTF?"

It's not meeting women that's hard - but it's keeping them around.

Ty again you all are the best!

Rasputin · 10-27-2014, 01:27 PM

Got to love yourself before you can love anyone else.

Take yourself out on a date. Out to dinner and a movie. Just enjoy being yourself. Then when you start feeling better about yourself you will be attractive & not have to chase after women they will come to you because they will see the love you have to offer. With out love for yourself you have no love to offer. That's my opinion.

It's hard to love ourselves and that part actually takes work.

I once had to buy myself a bag of cookies just all for myself & I enjoyed every damn one of those things.

BlackHelicopters · 10-27-2014, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steron

Not to derail but do you get the 'brain zaps' if you miss a dose of your Effexor?

What is a 'brain zap'?

Steron · 10-27-2014, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theelusiveeightrop

What is a 'brain zap'?

The best way to describe it is that you feel like your brain is being electrocuted. Mine happen about twice a minute.

Lonewolf Ed · 10-27-2014, 01:30 PM

Depression is not a simple issue. It is good that you reached out. I know virtually nuffin' about women, but what I do know is they can make a guy dive right into the depression deep end. If you need help, then please get it and don't feel like you're weak if you do. I came to terms with being alone a long time ago, and save for a brief yet false glimmer of hope back in 2011 with the midget who dumped me via email for a pirate-wannabe, I've had no prospects for anything resembling a relationship. Yes, being alone can suck and I don't recommend it, but for me, it is how life is and especially now, who wants a bf with cancer? I'm not exactly LTR material these days. Anyway, back to you... you're a good man and I have every confidence that you can get a handle on things and turn it around. Don't give up and try to get this figured out!

Steron · 10-27-2014, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonewolf Ed

Depression is not a simple issue. It is good that you reached out. I know virtually nuffin' about women, but what I do know is they can make a guy dive right into the depression deep end. If you need help, then please get it and don't feel like you're weak if you do. I came to terms with being alone a long time ago, and save for a brief yet false glimmer of hope back in 2011 with the midget who dumped me via email for a pirate-wannabe, I've had no prospects for anything resembling a relationship. Yes, being alone can suck and I don't recommend it, but for me, it is how life is and especially now, who wants a bf with cancer? I'm not exactly LTR material these days. Anyway, back to you... you're a good man and I have every confidence that you can get a handle on things and turn it around. Don't give up and try to get this figured out!

Solid

Simply Red · 10-27-2014, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonewolf Ed

Depression is not a simple issue. It is good that you reached out. I know virtually nuffin' about women, but what I do know is they can make a guy dive right into the depression deep end. If you need help, then please get it and don't feel like you're weak if you do. I came to terms with being alone a long time ago, and save for a brief yet false glimmer of hope back in 2011 with the midget who dumped me via email for a pirate-wannabe, I've had no prospects for anything resembling a relationship. Yes, being alone can suck and I don't recommend it, but for me, it is how life is and especially now, who wants a bf with cancer? I'm not exactly LTR material these days. Anyway, back to you... you're a good man and I have every confidence that you can get a handle on things and turn it around. Don't give up and try to get this figured out!

Thank you Ed. Over time and with help - I'll get myself back in order. & I'm always here for you too.

**MahiMike** · 10-27-2014, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red

I appreciate it - feel free to let the thread die - I think I needed to type out how I felt.

sucks today - being sick and then this other thing.

I'll be fine over time - I need to move out of this place too and sort of start over. I hope to be able to afford to break my lease soon. The last girl I dated lives in my building - so It's a pain in the ass to see her, etc...

A change of scenery is a good idea. Start over fresh. Could help the psyche. Sorry to hear about your struggles. I do understand about limiting your options if you're not drinking. But I'm sure you've already found other venues to meet up with folks.

Finding a sweet girl that doesn't drink may require joining a singles club at your local church. My sister once told me that the only relationships that have a chance are ones where both are christians. She may have something there. It's so hard to go thru life with the same partner. Even harder for some to go without anyone.

Hey, how about a dog? They never complain and chicks dig em.

**loochy** · 10-27-2014, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KC Tattoo

I once had to buy myself a bag of cookies just all for myself & I enjoyed every damn one of those things.

I do that all the time and I'm NOT depressed....until I eat the whole bag in one sitting

Lonewolf Ed · 10-27-2014, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 505 Chief

I struggle with irritability.

*poke poke poke* Hey! *poke poke poke*

From stuff like that?

**srvy** · 10-27-2014, 01:38 PM

First thing you need do is Go see your Doctor and tell him or her what you just told us. That will be the start to feeling better. If your religious a talk with your Pastor could be helpful. Dont want be mean or insensitive but this is inter webs nothing we can really do for you if we aren't professionals. Just go open up to the Doc and begin the process of what you need to get better.

**Mr. Flopnuts** · 10-27-2014, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vailpass

See your point but there are a lot of people who function do much better with the right meds...

I think you're both right. In my opinion the best thing one can do is get right with diet and exercise, and if that doesn't work go see a professional. For a lot of people, there comes a chemical imbalance with certain unhealthy foods. It's why some people can eat whatever they want and stay slim while some people become obese by smelling food.

We all react differently to the same things. The best course of action in my mind is that one should get their mind, body, and soul right, and if unable to do so through diet, exercise, and perhaps meditation, then a professional should absolutely be sought out.

The reason I think it should go in that order is if you get the wrong meds, it can set you back big time, and then it can't be fixed until you keep trying a different cocktail of pills until you find a combo that meshes with your system, when in actuality for a lot of people it was never necessary in the first place.

There's a reason they still call it a "practice".

kcfanXIII · 10-27-2014, 01:41 PM

I agree, you should probably hold off on dating for the time being. I was like you and never had anything last more than a month or two. I'm not sure if I was depressed or not, but I do know that I found the girl of my dreams when I wasn't looking. Depression is a MFer, but can be beaten. Try focusing on the positive things in your life, and let that feeling spill into the rest of it.

Also ride as much as you can. If you don't have a motorcycle, buy one, and ride as much as you can. If you are looking for someone to ride with who doesn't drink (that much, anyways) let me know. I'm not a real heavy drinker anymore, and if you need a sober friend, I can go without.

**srvy** · 10-27-2014, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vailpass

I went in for a manscaping this morning. Very relaxing, slowed things down for me. Just a suggestion...

Seriously who is in business to do this? I hope it wasn't a dude yuk.

Rasputin · 10-27-2014, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts

I think you're both right. In my opinion the best thing one can do is get right with diet and exercise, and if that doesn't work go see a professional. For a lot of people, there comes a chemical imbalance with certain unhealthy foods. It's why some people can eat whatever they want and stay slim while some people become obese by smelling food.

We all react differently to the same things. The best course of action in my mind is that one should get their mind, body, and soul right, and if unable to do so through diet, exercise, and perhaps meditation, then a professional should absolutely be sought out.

The reason I think it should go in that order is if you get the wrong meds, it can set you back big time, and then it can't be fixed until you keep trying a different cocktail of pills until you find a combo that meshes with your system, when in actuality for a lot of people it was never necessary in the first place.

There's a reason they still call it a "practice".

I was prescribed Geodon for my depression and that shit ****ed my world. All I needed to take was one more pill of that with my dosage & I would have had serious long term damage to my nervous system.

I don't even trust doctors that prescribe medication. Look at the side effects they have & get second or third opinions from professionals.

Geodon ****ed my world up.

kcfanXIII · 10-27-2014, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by srvy

. Dont want be mean or insensitive but this is inter webs nothing we can really do for you if we aren't professionals.

I don't disagree with your post but this part isn't true. I see a lot of people supporting SR, and giving solid, if not professional, advice. Friends play an important role in recovery. Don't forget that.

10-27-2014, 12:45 PM
Simply Red You Sweetie! Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $2021206219 VARSITY	-- Can I level with you all? Hey Guys, I am not a big attention whore - and I realize that it's risky to post threads like this. But I have a big secret that I've kept to myself for quite sometime. I have a bad problem (for maybe the last 2-3 months) with major depression. Last night wasn't good at all - I literally felt like I could have died. I was having sweats, uncontrolled emotional breakdowns and other things that I'm not quite ready to discuss. Sometimes I wonder if the fact that I had quit drinking without assistance such as AA is part of it and if it would have been a better transition than simply cold-turkey. There's a term called a 'dry drunk' - where the person who'd kicked the habit still has some of the same issues with personality etc etc... I recently had another bad break up - I've gone through enough women in the last two yrs - where I'm starting to wonder if it's me. Nothing seems to last over a month or two. I need to find some help - but as a business owner it's so hard to find extra time. My social life COULD be much better - but not drinking puts a damper on any 'normal' social mediums - most others use. As well as it's just not the same attending a bar's happy hour sober or at least not in the same relaxed mind set - others are in. I really don't want to be alone. Man isn't designed to be alone & I've reached a point I'm ready to love and sex can and will be somewhat secondary - I'm just ready to have something normal in my life, again. Anyhow - I'd appreciate it if you had some serious input - jokes are fine too - but I'm not joking and I've been seriously struggling. I have decent looks, I'm responsible and I have a nice job. So I wonder all of the time "WTF?" It's not meeting women that's hard - but it's keeping them around. Ty again you all are the best!
Posts: 71,691

10-27-2014, 01:27 PM	#31
Rasputin Tip of the hat LIV Champs Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: ks Casino cash: $2995421	Got to love yourself before you can love anyone else. Take yourself out on a date. Out to dinner and a movie. Just enjoy being yourself. Then when you start feeling better about yourself you will be attractive & not have to chase after women they will come to you because they will see the love you have to offer. With out love for yourself you have no love to offer. That's my opinion. It's hard to love ourselves and that part actually takes work. I once had to buy myself a bag of cookies just all for myself & I enjoyed every damn one of those things.
Posts: 55,003

10-27-2014, 01:30 PM	#34
Lonewolf Ed Veteran Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Olathe, KS Casino cash: $10606233	Depression is not a simple issue. It is good that you reached out. I know virtually nuffin' about women, but what I do know is they can make a guy dive right into the depression deep end. If you need help, then please get it and don't feel like you're weak if you do. I came to terms with being alone a long time ago, and save for a brief yet false glimmer of hope back in 2011 with the midget who dumped me via email for a pirate-wannabe, I've had no prospects for anything resembling a relationship. Yes, being alone can suck and I don't recommend it, but for me, it is how life is and especially now, who wants a bf with cancer? I'm not exactly LTR material these days. Anyway, back to you... you're a good man and I have every confidence that you can get a handle on things and turn it around. Don't give up and try to get this figured out!
Posts: 3,774

10-27-2014, 01:38 PM	#40
srvy Fight, build, win! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: KC Casino cash: $1101250	First thing you need do is Go see your Doctor and tell him or her what you just told us. That will be the start to feeling better. If your religious a talk with your Pastor could be helpful. Dont want be mean or insensitive but this is inter webs nothing we can really do for you if we aren't professionals. Just go open up to the Doc and begin the process of what you need to get better.
Posts: 24,699

10-27-2014, 01:41 PM	#42
kcfanXIII Ride on! Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Galaxy far far away Casino cash: $10013172	I agree, you should probably hold off on dating for the time being. I was like you and never had anything last more than a month or two. I'm not sure if I was depressed or not, but I do know that I found the girl of my dreams when I wasn't looking. Depression is a MFer, but can be beaten. Try focusing on the positive things in your life, and let that feeling spill into the rest of it. Also ride as much as you can. If you don't have a motorcycle, buy one, and ride as much as you can. If you are looking for someone to ride with who doesn't drink (that much, anyways) let me know. I'm not a real heavy drinker anymore, and if you need a sober friend, I can go without. __________________ Faster, faster, until the thrill of speed, overcomes the fear of death.
Posts: 5,470