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Old 04-11-2016, 07:15 PM  
Strongside Strongside is offline
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I am moving to the suburbs. What do I need to know?
So my wife and I are urban yuppies and have lived in some sort of urban core / downtown for over 10 years now. We have just purchased a very nice home in Lenexa, KS and are leaving our loft in the River Market for a bigger yard (or just a yard, period), more square footage, and more rare police sirens and gunshots. We are anticipating children in the next few years, which is the main reason for our move.

What do I need to know? How do I make my grass look good? What do I need to do to my wardrobe so that I fit in with all of the other dads? What is the best lawnmower? What's the best brand of pool table? What do I do when I've had too much to drink and can't drive home? What time do I need to stop being loud on my deck and go to bed? Where can I get a legit beard trim and haircut by a real barber? Where is the best place to get a latte? How do I handle my road rage during a long commute?

Thanks in advance, old white dudes.
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Old 04-11-2016, 07:39 PM   #31
Strongside Strongside is offline
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You have to get a dog. Lewdogs are a popular breed.
We have a Boston Terrier. He is semi-psychotic. He will enjoy this more than either my wife or I. The yard will do him wonders. Dogs that full of energy were not made for the strict confines of a loft apartment.
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Old 04-11-2016, 07:41 PM   #32
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Old 04-11-2016, 07:41 PM   #33
Lonewolf Ed Lonewolf Ed is offline
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Old 04-11-2016, 07:42 PM   #34
Meatloaf Meatloaf is offline
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You have to get a dog. Lewdogs are a popular breed.
Yes, but I hear they're a particularly dumb breed.
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Old 04-11-2016, 07:43 PM   #35
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You have to get a dog. Lewdogs are a popular breed.
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Great looking dogs. A bit vicious though. Relatively intelligent. Breeds well.
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Old 04-11-2016, 07:44 PM   #36
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Old 04-11-2016, 07:46 PM   #37
Strongside Strongside is offline
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Sounds like you are a hipster, you may get your ass kicked.
10 years of boxing and Jiu Jitsu hopefully say otherwise. It is Kansas, though, and anyone can carry a gun...so I may get my ass shot.
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Old 04-11-2016, 07:47 PM   #38
Meatloaf Meatloaf is offline
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You have to get a dog. Lewdogs are a popular breed.
Or, you could get a Great Dane. Those damn things know EVERYTHING.
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Old 04-11-2016, 07:48 PM   #39
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10 years of boxing and Jiu Jitsu hopefully say otherwise. It is Kansas, though, and anyone can carry a gun...so I may get my ass shot.
You gotta find out who the biggest neighbor is then kick his ass. In front of everyone. Establish your dominance. And pee on all the trees and hydrants.
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Old 04-11-2016, 07:49 PM   #40
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I think so too. I need the exercise. I'm sure I will immediately double the cul de sac's daily beer intake.
The neighborhood hot moms oodle if you push mow. I got like 4 looks yesterday.

It could have been the cut off sweat pants with my wading boots but either way,....they noticed
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Old 04-11-2016, 07:49 PM   #41
Strongside Strongside is offline
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I told my wife you guys suggested getting a dog.

She said, "I already have 2."

We only have one dog.

This is what I live with.
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Old 04-11-2016, 07:50 PM   #42
Meatloaf Meatloaf is offline
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I told my wife you guys suggested getting a dog.

She said, "I already have 2."

We only have one dog.

This is what I live with.
Sorry to hear that you've got a smart lady. You should ALWAYS marry dumb.
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Old 04-11-2016, 07:53 PM   #43
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Old 04-11-2016, 07:53 PM   #44
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You have to trim in addition to mowing. Also make sure to spray weeds. Don't be the guy that lets the yard go bad and spread to the neighbors.
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Old 04-11-2016, 07:53 PM   #45
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We're revamping our back porch area (fire pit, some other bullshit that the wife wanted to do) but I got to buy a new grill and am putting a tv mount out there.

So that's cool
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