News This Week's Important Florida News! - Page 27

**gblowfish** · 01-15-2013, 05:13 PM

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.

**BigRedChief** · 01-09-2015, 04:13 PM

This happened about 5 minutes from my house.

Dad throws this 5 year old daughter off a bridge. She was alive. She survived for a little while.

http://www.tampabay.com/news/publics...father/2213057

ST. PETERSBURG — Investigators said Friday that 5-year-old Phoebe Jonchuck was alive when her father dropped her 62 feet from a bridge and into Tampa Bay, killing her early Thursday in a crime that stunned the region.

Authorities also called on the public and local clergy to help them reconstruct the week before John Jonchuck Jr. took his daughter to the bridge.
Jonchuck, 25, of Tampa, is accused of first-degree murder in the death of his daughter, Phoebe. An off-duty St. Petersburg police officer saw Jonchuck drop Phoebe from the Dick Misener Bridge, on the southbound approach to the Sunshine Skyway, about 12:09 a.m. Thursday.
Phoebe plummeted 62 feet into the cold, dark waters of Tampa Bay. The officer said he thought he heard her scream and tried unsuccessfully to spot her in the water. Initially, investigators said they were not sure whether she was alive when Jonchuck dropped her.
Rescuers later recovered her body a mile away, and Manatee sheriff's deputies arrested Jonchuck after he fled.
Detectives think Jonchuck may have spoken to members of the local clergy in the days before his daughter's death, according to St. Petersburg police. A former roommate and his lawyer said Jonchuck had ranted to them about God and the Bible this week.
About 11 a.m. Wednesday, Genevieve Torres, who Jonchuck recently hired to represent him in a paternity lawsuit, called 911 because she was concerned about his mental state.
"He's out of his mind, and he has a minor child with him driving to the church now," Torres tearfully told a dispatcher, according to a recording of the call released Thursday.
After leaving the law office, Jonchuck drove to St. Paul's Catholic Church on Dale Mabry Highway, where he met with the Rev. Bill Swengros, the parish's head pastor, to ask about joining the church. At the same time, deputies arrived to assess Jonchuck's well-being.
They spoke with Swengros, who said that Jonchuck had made some odd statements, but nothing to indicate that he might be a danger to himself or others, according to a sheriff's report. He said he often sees people who come into the church seeking advice.
Swengros could not be reached Friday. A parish manager declined to comment.
Deputies determined Jonchuck was healthy, not a threat, and that Phoebe appeared happy, according to the sheriff's report.
Now investigators are trying to piece together what happened between then and midnight, when St. Petersburg police officer William Vickers saw Jonchuck atop the Misener Bridge.
They asked that anyone who may have seen Jonchuck, Phoebe or the PT Cruiser Wednesday afternoon or evening call Detective Kenneth Miller at (727) 892-5916 or text "SPPD" and the information to TIP411.
Authorities also announced Friday that they finished a search of Jonchuck's vehicle and recovered a pink booster seat, cell phone and "religious items." They released a video from a tollbooth near the Misener that shows Jonchuck driving through not long after police say he dropped his daughter into the bay.
Vickers is not available for interviews because he is the primary witness to the murder, investigators said.
Records show that authorities had numerous interactions with Jonchuck in recent years, including a few times in the last two weeks.
At 2:30 a.m. Dec. 30, Tampa police pulled over Jonchuck's PT Cruiser near Highland Avenue and Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard. Officers smelled marijuana in the car, but found nothing, said police spokeswoman Andrea Davis. An unidentifies male passenger was described as being drunk and belligerent.
Officers gave Jonchuck two citations for not carrying a driver's license or proof of insurance, court records show. No report was made.

**Fire Me Boy!** · 01-10-2015, 04:34 AM

That guy has conceivably four first names. John Jonchuck Jr.

Al Bundy · 01-10-2015, 05:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

This happened about 5 minutes from my house.

Dad throws this 5 year old daughter off a bridge. She was alive. She survived for a little while.

http://www.tampabay.com/news/publics...father/2213057

ST. PETERSBURG — Investigators said Friday that 5-year-old Phoebe Jonchuck was alive when her father dropped her 62 feet from a bridge and into Tampa Bay, killing her early Thursday in a crime that stunned the region.

Authorities also called on the public and local clergy to help them reconstruct the week before John Jonchuck Jr. took his daughter to the bridge.
Jonchuck, 25, of Tampa, is accused of first-degree murder in the death of his daughter, Phoebe. An off-duty St. Petersburg police officer saw Jonchuck drop Phoebe from the Dick Misener Bridge, on the southbound approach to the Sunshine Skyway, about 12:09 a.m. Thursday.
Phoebe plummeted 62 feet into the cold, dark waters of Tampa Bay. The officer said he thought he heard her scream and tried unsuccessfully to spot her in the water. Initially, investigators said they were not sure whether she was alive when Jonchuck dropped her.
Rescuers later recovered her body a mile away, and Manatee sheriff's deputies arrested Jonchuck after he fled.
Detectives think Jonchuck may have spoken to members of the local clergy in the days before his daughter's death, according to St. Petersburg police. A former roommate and his lawyer said Jonchuck had ranted to them about God and the Bible this week.
About 11 a.m. Wednesday, Genevieve Torres, who Jonchuck recently hired to represent him in a paternity lawsuit, called 911 because she was concerned about his mental state.
"He's out of his mind, and he has a minor child with him driving to the church now," Torres tearfully told a dispatcher, according to a recording of the call released Thursday.
After leaving the law office, Jonchuck drove to St. Paul's Catholic Church on Dale Mabry Highway, where he met with the Rev. Bill Swengros, the parish's head pastor, to ask about joining the church. At the same time, deputies arrived to assess Jonchuck's well-being.
They spoke with Swengros, who said that Jonchuck had made some odd statements, but nothing to indicate that he might be a danger to himself or others, according to a sheriff's report. He said he often sees people who come into the church seeking advice.
Swengros could not be reached Friday. A parish manager declined to comment.
Deputies determined Jonchuck was healthy, not a threat, and that Phoebe appeared happy, according to the sheriff's report.
Now investigators are trying to piece together what happened between then and midnight, when St. Petersburg police officer William Vickers saw Jonchuck atop the Misener Bridge.
They asked that anyone who may have seen Jonchuck, Phoebe or the PT Cruiser Wednesday afternoon or evening call Detective Kenneth Miller at (727) 892-5916 or text "SPPD" and the information to TIP411.
Authorities also announced Friday that they finished a search of Jonchuck's vehicle and recovered a pink booster seat, cell phone and "religious items." They released a video from a tollbooth near the Misener that shows Jonchuck driving through not long after police say he dropped his daughter into the bay.
Vickers is not available for interviews because he is the primary witness to the murder, investigators said.
Records show that authorities had numerous interactions with Jonchuck in recent years, including a few times in the last two weeks.
At 2:30 a.m. Dec. 30, Tampa police pulled over Jonchuck's PT Cruiser near Highland Avenue and Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard. Officers smelled marijuana in the car, but found nothing, said police spokeswoman Andrea Davis. An unidentifies male passenger was described as being drunk and belligerent.
Officers gave Jonchuck two citations for not carrying a driver's license or proof of insurance, court records show. No report was made.

They should have driven to the Sunshine Skyway and forces his ass over from the center of the span at gun point.

**BigMeatballDave** · 01-10-2015, 06:40 AM

Florida is what happens when you get a bunch of people from New York and New Jersey in one area where it's hot as **** in the summer.

**Bufkin** · 01-10-2015, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!

That guy has conceivably four first names. John Jonchuck Jr.

**notorious** · 01-10-2015, 07:52 AM

Quote:

The officer said he thought he heard her scream and tried unsuccessfully to spot her in the water. Initially, investigators said they were not sure whether she was alive when Jonchuck dropped her.

OMG.

MIAdragon · 01-10-2015, 07:58 AM

That shit makes me sick to my stomach

tmax63 · 01-10-2015, 08:35 AM

Another case where he should of been killed while being arrested and saved the money for a trial and housing for the rest of his life.

**BigRedChief** · 01-10-2015, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tmax63

Another case where he should of been killed while being arrested and saved the money for a trial and housing for the rest of his life.

Rumor is that he killed his daughter to punish the wife. He has a history of mental illness and been admitted before. This ****er better not get off easy.

MIAdragon · 01-10-2015, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

Rumor is that he killed his daughter to punish the wife. He has a history of mental illness and been admitted before. This ****er better not get off easy.

Wish that cop would have filled him with holes before he threw her, that poor little girl.

**BigRedChief** · 01-10-2015, 09:11 AM

To clear the palette with just "regular" weird news. A 2014 recap......

TALLAHASSEE — Florida's year in news included a 90-year-old man arrested for feeding the homeless and a "Catholic Warrior" damaging a Satanic holiday display in the Capitol. But what else would you expect from a state where the two leading candidates for governor held up a live televised debate over a small electric fan?

Florida had the nation laughing for a few days at what was dubbed "Fangate" after Gov. Rick Scott showed up on stage seven minutes late at a debate after a dispute over the fan former Gov. Charlie Crist brought to the event, leaving the moderator perplexed.

Even before the debate, the election had a weird twist when a candidate who received 16,761 votes in the Republican primary against Scott was charged with fabricating $182,080 in donations, or basically all of them, in a scheme to get matching campaigns from the state.

But that's Florida in 2014 (or any other year), a state where people will stick just about anything in their pants — if they're even wearing them at all. Eliot Kleinberg, a Palm Beach Post reporter who is the original weird Florida archivist in what now seems to be a popular trend, says he often issues the challenge to anyone to prove another state is weirder and he's never lost an argument.

"The world has come to acknowledge Florida's weirdness. It is no longer a debate," said Kleinberg, who published Weird Florida in 1998 and Weird Florida II — A State of Shock in 2006. He also created a Weird Florida Facebook page that keeps a running tab on strange news that has more than 227,000 "likes."

"People in Florida have come to accept the weirdness as part of the normal activity," he said. "Justin Bieber could have gotten arrested for drag racing in California, but he came all the way to Miami Beach."

Even Seth Myers used his Late Night show to create a spoof game show called "Fake or Florida" to highlight its strange news.
This is the state where the U.S. Coast Guard had to rescue a man who tried to "run" 1,033 miles from Florida to Bermuda in a giant plastic bubble. He fell about 963 miles short.

It's the state where lottery officials promoted the fact that they gave a sexual predator $3 million — until they realized he was a sexual predator, at which point they quickly removed the photo of him holding a big check from their website.

It's the state where a blind woman sued the nudist community where she lives claiming she was harassed about the size of her service dog.
It's the state where a Tampa Bay area family of four was hospitalized after eating a bottom round roast laced with LSD and came out of the hospital a family of five after the mother gave birth to a boy while being treated for the hallucinogenic.

It's the state where the annual Chumuckla Redneck Christmas Parade was canceled because — big surprise — attendees kept drinking too much in previous years.

And it's the state where a woman wearing a Catholic Warrior shirt was charged with criminal mischief after damaging a Satanic Temple holiday display at the Capitol. A security camera picked up the offense.
Which is different than the tantrum picked up by a Tampa-area McDonald's security camera: a woman walking behind the counter wearing nothing but a thong overturning equipment, throwing food, and eating ice cream and French fries.

Three naked men were caught on a security camera breaking into a Bonita Springs restaurant and stealing 60 hamburgers, three pounds of bacon, three red peppers and a paddleboard.

Even when Floridians kept their pants on, they stuffed odd things in them, especially in DeLand, where a woman was charged with stealing seven frozen lobster tails she stuffed down her pants and a Wal-Mart security guard caught a man with two packages of cow tongue in his pants.
There was also a man in Port St. Lucie who stole a chain saw by sticking it in his pants.

That wasn't the only dangerous thing found in people's pants. A corrections officer reaching for cash at a Fort Lauderdale restaurant accidently fired his gun. The bullet shattered when it hit the floor and fragments hit a dozen people. The restaurant's name? Shooters.

GloryDayz · 01-10-2015, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tmax63

Another case where he should of been killed while being arrested and saved the money for a trial and housing for the rest of his life.

#Ferguson

DaNewGuy · 01-11-2015, 08:29 AM

http://m.wesh.com/news/pd-couple-arr..._source=Social

**gblowfish** · 01-14-2015, 01:55 PM

Jon Stewart crushes Florida on last night's show:
http://www.dailydot.com/entertainmen...arriage/?fb=dd

**gblowfish** · 01-23-2015, 10:05 AM

Mookie Stinks!

http://www.thefrisky.com/2014-12-29/...scape-attempt/

There are still two and a half more days left in 2014, which is plenty of time to pull some sort of stunt and earn a spot on the Most Amazing Criminals of the Year list. And lookie here, Marisol Toribio of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, has come in just under the wire by shoplifting at a local Macy’s just before Christmas. But it’s not the five-finger discount itself that makes her such a noteworthy lawbreaker. No, it’s the shit smeared all over those five fingers that makes her one-of-a-kind.

According to court documents, when Toribio, 32, was caught stealing from the Macy’s by store employees, she responded by reaching down in her pants, grabbing a handful of poop and smearing it all over their faces before trying to escape. Did she poop before or after she was caught stealing? Why? It’s unclear. I’ll be honest, at this point I would have let the bitch run away, because washing someone’s shit off my face takes priority over recouping goods that, let’s face it, Macy’s could totally afford to lose. You would not ever see me chasing some shoplifter down an escalator with turds smeared on my cheeks. Nope nope nope. Take the cost of those stolen dish towels out of my paycheck if you need to Macy’s, I don’t care. I’ll be in the bathroom drowning myself in hand sanitizer THANK YOU.

Anyway, Toribio did NOT end up getting away and now faces theft charges, plus a charge of tampering with or fabricating physical evidence. What about assault with a fistful of feces?

01-15-2013, 05:13 PM
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $17606178 VARSITY	This Week's Important Florida News! Two Boffo Stories: Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head. Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go. Florida, I love you. You're just so fun! Story #1: Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far. Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports. The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges. On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays. According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him." The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14. Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school. http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392 Story #2: 'A' for effort? Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla. Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police. The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed. The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?" She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts. Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.
Posts: 40,843

01-09-2015, 04:13 PM	#391
BigRedChief Has a particular set of skills Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: On the water Casino cash: $2879627 VARSITY	This happened about 5 minutes from my house. Dad throws this 5 year old daughter off a bridge. She was alive. She survived for a little while. http://www.tampabay.com/news/publics...father/2213057 ST. PETERSBURG — Investigators said Friday that 5-year-old Phoebe Jonchuck was alive when her father dropped her 62 feet from a bridge and into Tampa Bay, killing her early Thursday in a crime that stunned the region. Authorities also called on the public and local clergy to help them reconstruct the week before John Jonchuck Jr. took his daughter to the bridge. Jonchuck, 25, of Tampa, is accused of first-degree murder in the death of his daughter, Phoebe. An off-duty St. Petersburg police officer saw Jonchuck drop Phoebe from the Dick Misener Bridge, on the southbound approach to the Sunshine Skyway, about 12:09 a.m. Thursday. Phoebe plummeted 62 feet into the cold, dark waters of Tampa Bay. The officer said he thought he heard her scream and tried unsuccessfully to spot her in the water. Initially, investigators said they were not sure whether she was alive when Jonchuck dropped her. Rescuers later recovered her body a mile away, and Manatee sheriff's deputies arrested Jonchuck after he fled. Detectives think Jonchuck may have spoken to members of the local clergy in the days before his daughter's death, according to St. Petersburg police. A former roommate and his lawyer said Jonchuck had ranted to them about God and the Bible this week. About 11 a.m. Wednesday, Genevieve Torres, who Jonchuck recently hired to represent him in a paternity lawsuit, called 911 because she was concerned about his mental state. "He's out of his mind, and he has a minor child with him driving to the church now," Torres tearfully told a dispatcher, according to a recording of the call released Thursday. After leaving the law office, Jonchuck drove to St. Paul's Catholic Church on Dale Mabry Highway, where he met with the Rev. Bill Swengros, the parish's head pastor, to ask about joining the church. At the same time, deputies arrived to assess Jonchuck's well-being. They spoke with Swengros, who said that Jonchuck had made some odd statements, but nothing to indicate that he might be a danger to himself or others, according to a sheriff's report. He said he often sees people who come into the church seeking advice. Swengros could not be reached Friday. A parish manager declined to comment. Deputies determined Jonchuck was healthy, not a threat, and that Phoebe appeared happy, according to the sheriff's report. Now investigators are trying to piece together what happened between then and midnight, when St. Petersburg police officer William Vickers saw Jonchuck atop the Misener Bridge. They asked that anyone who may have seen Jonchuck, Phoebe or the PT Cruiser Wednesday afternoon or evening call Detective Kenneth Miller at (727) 892-5916 or text "SPPD" and the information to TIP411. Authorities also announced Friday that they finished a search of Jonchuck's vehicle and recovered a pink booster seat, cell phone and "religious items." They released a video from a tollbooth near the Misener that shows Jonchuck driving through not long after police say he dropped his daughter into the bay. Vickers is not available for interviews because he is the primary witness to the murder, investigators said. Records show that authorities had numerous interactions with Jonchuck in recent years, including a few times in the last two weeks. At 2:30 a.m. Dec. 30, Tampa police pulled over Jonchuck's PT Cruiser near Highland Avenue and Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard. Officers smelled marijuana in the car, but found nothing, said police spokeswoman Andrea Davis. An unidentifies male passenger was described as being drunk and belligerent. Officers gave Jonchuck two citations for not carrying a driver's license or proof of insurance, court records show. No report was made. __________________ Time is worth more than money.
Posts: 79,209

01-10-2015, 04:34 AM	#392
Fire Me Boy! Cast Iron Jedi Join Date: Nov 2004 Casino cash: $9999900 VARSITY	That guy has conceivably four first names. John Jonchuck Jr.
Posts: 35,253

01-10-2015, 06:40 AM	#394
BigMeatballDave GBM 8-12-15 Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Dayton, Oh. Casino cash: $10052154	Florida is what happens when you get a bunch of people from New York and New Jersey in one area where it's hot as **** in the summer.
Posts: 59,997

01-10-2015, 07:58 AM	#397
MIAdragon Someone pass the antifreeze Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Miami (North Cuba) Casino cash: $1337819	That shit makes me sick to my stomach
Posts: 15,776

01-10-2015, 08:35 AM	#398
tmax63 Veteran Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $3090400	Another case where he should of been killed while being arrested and saved the money for a trial and housing for the rest of his life. __________________ An armed member of society is a citizen, an unarmed member is a subject.
Posts: 3,813

01-10-2015, 09:11 AM	#401
BigRedChief Has a particular set of skills Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: On the water Casino cash: $2879627 VARSITY	To clear the palette with just "regular" weird news. A 2014 recap...... TALLAHASSEE — Florida's year in news included a 90-year-old man arrested for feeding the homeless and a "Catholic Warrior" damaging a Satanic holiday display in the Capitol. But what else would you expect from a state where the two leading candidates for governor held up a live televised debate over a small electric fan? Florida had the nation laughing for a few days at what was dubbed "Fangate" after Gov. Rick Scott showed up on stage seven minutes late at a debate after a dispute over the fan former Gov. Charlie Crist brought to the event, leaving the moderator perplexed. Even before the debate, the election had a weird twist when a candidate who received 16,761 votes in the Republican primary against Scott was charged with fabricating $182,080 in donations, or basically all of them, in a scheme to get matching campaigns from the state. But that's Florida in 2014 (or any other year), a state where people will stick just about anything in their pants — if they're even wearing them at all. Eliot Kleinberg, a Palm Beach Post reporter who is the original weird Florida archivist in what now seems to be a popular trend, says he often issues the challenge to anyone to prove another state is weirder and he's never lost an argument. "The world has come to acknowledge Florida's weirdness. It is no longer a debate," said Kleinberg, who published Weird Florida in 1998 and Weird Florida II — A State of Shock in 2006. He also created a Weird Florida Facebook page that keeps a running tab on strange news that has more than 227,000 "likes." "People in Florida have come to accept the weirdness as part of the normal activity," he said. "Justin Bieber could have gotten arrested for drag racing in California, but he came all the way to Miami Beach." Even Seth Myers used his Late Night show to create a spoof game show called "Fake or Florida" to highlight its strange news. This is the state where the U.S. Coast Guard had to rescue a man who tried to "run" 1,033 miles from Florida to Bermuda in a giant plastic bubble. He fell about 963 miles short. It's the state where lottery officials promoted the fact that they gave a sexual predator $3 million — until they realized he was a sexual predator, at which point they quickly removed the photo of him holding a big check from their website. It's the state where a blind woman sued the nudist community where she lives claiming she was harassed about the size of her service dog. It's the state where a Tampa Bay area family of four was hospitalized after eating a bottom round roast laced with LSD and came out of the hospital a family of five after the mother gave birth to a boy while being treated for the hallucinogenic. It's the state where the annual Chumuckla Redneck Christmas Parade was canceled because — big surprise — attendees kept drinking too much in previous years. And it's the state where a woman wearing a Catholic Warrior shirt was charged with criminal mischief after damaging a Satanic Temple holiday display at the Capitol. A security camera picked up the offense. Which is different than the tantrum picked up by a Tampa-area McDonald's security camera: a woman walking behind the counter wearing nothing but a thong overturning equipment, throwing food, and eating ice cream and French fries. Three naked men were caught on a security camera breaking into a Bonita Springs restaurant and stealing 60 hamburgers, three pounds of bacon, three red peppers and a paddleboard. Even when Floridians kept their pants on, they stuffed odd things in them, especially in DeLand, where a woman was charged with stealing seven frozen lobster tails she stuffed down her pants and a Wal-Mart security guard caught a man with two packages of cow tongue in his pants. There was also a man in Port St. Lucie who stole a chain saw by sticking it in his pants. That wasn't the only dangerous thing found in people's pants. A corrections officer reaching for cash at a Fort Lauderdale restaurant accidently fired his gun. The bullet shattered when it hit the floor and fragments hit a dozen people. The restaurant's name? Shooters. __________________ Time is worth more than money.
Posts: 79,209

01-11-2015, 08:29 AM	#403
DaNewGuy Trippin' BAWLZ Join Date: Jun 2014 Location: Another dimension Casino cash: $9794749	http://m.wesh.com/news/pd-couple-arr..._source=Social
Posts: 3,648

01-14-2015, 01:55 PM	#404
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $17606178 VARSITY	Jon Stewart crushes Florida on last night's show: http://www.dailydot.com/entertainmen...arriage/?fb=dd
Posts: 40,843

01-23-2015, 10:05 AM	#405
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $17606178 VARSITY	Mookie Stinks! http://www.thefrisky.com/2014-12-29/...scape-attempt/ There are still two and a half more days left in 2014, which is plenty of time to pull some sort of stunt and earn a spot on the Most Amazing Criminals of the Year list. And lookie here, Marisol Toribio of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, has come in just under the wire by shoplifting at a local Macy’s just before Christmas. But it’s not the five-finger discount itself that makes her such a noteworthy lawbreaker. No, it’s the shit smeared all over those five fingers that makes her one-of-a-kind. According to court documents, when Toribio, 32, was caught stealing from the Macy’s by store employees, she responded by reaching down in her pants, grabbing a handful of poop and smearing it all over their faces before trying to escape. Did she poop before or after she was caught stealing? Why? It’s unclear. I’ll be honest, at this point I would have let the bitch run away, because washing someone’s shit off my face takes priority over recouping goods that, let’s face it, Macy’s could totally afford to lose. You would not ever see me chasing some shoplifter down an escalator with turds smeared on my cheeks. Nope nope nope. Take the cost of those stolen dish towels out of my paycheck if you need to Macy’s, I don’t care. I’ll be in the bathroom drowning myself in hand sanitizer THANK YOU. Anyway, Toribio did NOT end up getting away and now faces theft charges, plus a charge of tampering with or fabricating physical evidence. What about assault with a fistful of feces?
Posts: 40,843