Life Advice from pet owners....serious question here - Page 2

Mosbonian · 06-06-2016, 12:24 PM

Would love some input from parent on here who have Special Needs children/adults who have pets......we have a male Shitzu-Pekingnese mix that has been a dear member of the family for about 18 years now....we got him when he was just 8 weeks old and he has been the constant companion to my kids when they were young and more of a comfort animal to my Adult Special Needs son over the past 6 or 7 years.

My son and this dog have this bond....the dog has always sensed when my son was having a troubling moment and would sit near him or on his lap. But the last couple of years have been a bit of a struggle......especially this last year. Pepper, his name, is much more feeble, has trouble seeing well, has what one vet called "Doggie Alzheimers" and struggles with incontinence.

Most of the time now he stays outside on the back porch or in the gazebo. My son struggles with seeing him this way and at times refuses to even go outside to see him for fear of what he might find. On the flip side, any discussion we have about "doing the right thing by him" ends up with my son getting upset.

My wife and I struggle with what is the right thing to do.....continue to let a dearly loved member of the family still struggle out of comfort for my son, or end the pain for someone who has brought a great deal of joy to us for the past 18 years. I told myself that i would never let an animal get to this point, but I also know how this would deeply affect my son.

Anyone else ever have to deal with something like this? Any input would be greatly appreciated.

**cdcox** · 06-06-2016, 06:52 PM

A man took his dog to a zoo. The dog was the only animal in the whole zoo. It was a shitzu.

Sorry for your situation. I am in favor of getting a new pet at the proper time. Maybe calling it your dog would be the best choice to ease your son into the situation. Pets are awesome and make life better.

Mosbonian · 06-06-2016, 08:59 PM

Thanks everyone for your input....everyone was solid on views and opinions and I can't thank you enough.

I'll update you as I make my decision.

bobbymitch · 06-06-2016, 09:14 PM

Since your son is a special needs child, what has the doctor/whatever said about the dogs loss and its effect upon you son?

The whole life/death cycle for special needs children can be difficult. Since there is that special bond, can he sense any changes in the dog? Is this something that you can discuss with him.

Man, I don't envy your position one bit.

'Hamas' Jenkins · 06-07-2016, 12:44 AM

If the dog is isolating itself and losing control over its bowel and bladder functions it may be at the point where it doesn't have much quality of life.

With that said, it's obviously a complicated situation. I don't know the extent of your son's disability. I'm inferring that he knows about life and death but that this is more of an issue of letting go.

I have a daughter with special needs, but she is still very young (four), her disabilities are primarily motor-related, and I don't believe that either she or her sister truly understand what it means for someone or something to die.

I'm really very sorry that you and your son have to go through this, but I also believe that if you care enough to solicit advice over an issue like this you will make the right decision.

DaNewGuy · 06-07-2016, 01:24 AM

Damn I'm drunk and caught a feel trip at 3 am. Sorry man I have really nothing to offer here but my good vibes sent your way for
You and your family. I will say 18 years is a hell of a run.

kjwood75nro · 06-07-2016, 01:38 AM

In my experience, the absolute best thing to do when a dog dies is to get another.

Every time, I said I didn't want another, but having that new dog gives you a sense of responsibility and purpose that allows you to recover quickly. The love you had for your old dog quickly transfers to the new one.

It'll be tough, but not nearly as tough as seeing a beloved pet suffer with no chance of recovery.

Demonpenz · 06-07-2016, 01:45 AM

There is some things in life that you never have closure on. I would try to have an open mind that there maybe long term emotional scares from this situation. This sounds like it could be a long drawn out thing. Whatever happens your heart is in the right place even though it hurts like hell. I am sure you will have this story in your back pocket for someone else on the do's and don'ts.

Mosbonian · 06-07-2016, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins

If the dog is isolating itself and losing control over its bowel and bladder functions it may be at the point where it doesn't have much quality of life.

With that said, it's obviously a complicated situation. I don't know the extent of your son's disability. I'm inferring that he knows about life and death but that this is more of an issue of letting go.

I have a daughter with special needs, but she is still very young (four), her disabilities are primarily motor-related, and I don't believe that either she or her sister truly understand what it means for someone or something to die.

I'm really very sorry that you and your son have to go through this, but I also believe that if you care enough to solicit advice over an issue like this you will make the right decision.

My son is 23....and is high functioning Asperger's. There are other emotional and physical issues that he deals with that compound an already tough situation.

He also is very acquainted with life and death....his maternal Grandfather passed away when he was 4 years old and he was very very attached to him. My son struggles with death....even something as little as his beta fish dying set him back emotionally to the point that he will not go into a pet/fish store anymore.

Everyone here has been very supportive and offered some great advice.....I do appreciate it more than you can know.

Mosbonian · 07-09-2016, 06:02 PM

Just an update for everyone.....we all made the decision that it has come to a time that we feel the quality of life for our family friend has gotten to the point where we don't want him to suffer any longer. We had the discuss with our son and even he agrees now that it is time.

So....one day this week my son will come downstairs, hug his best friend, say his goodbyes and hand him over to his mother and myself.

I just want to ask that you say a little prayer or send some positive thoughts for my son as he deals with this.

Demonpenz · 07-09-2016, 06:18 PM

Good job dude. Brighter days will be ahead of you.

Hog's Gone Fishin · 07-09-2016, 06:22 PM

Prayers sent tonight. Getting another pet WILL ease the burden. We just had to put down a cat that my daughter has had her whole life (16) . The cat had stomach cancer. Probably from eating my wifes cooking. The Labrador is turning 9 this year and will be next. You will get through this.

Great Expectations · 07-09-2016, 06:47 PM

Prayers with you, another pet sounds awful until you spend time with a new pup. Then it rejuvenates everyone.

kccrow · 07-09-2016, 06:53 PM

Hope son is taking it ok.

Kman34 · 07-09-2016, 08:34 PM

I know it's hard but you are doing the right thing....... prayers sent to your family....

**Bwana** · 07-09-2016, 08:38 PM

Man sorry to hear it has finally come to this, but way to man up and do what is right for the dog. I have been in the same position several times and it has always been some of the hardest times of my life. Looking back now, as hard as it was at the time, it was the right thing to do. At this point I have two Doberman's and an Aussie. One of my Doberman's is starting to get up there but is still in great health and goes running with me every morning. The day I have to go through that with her is going the be a really really long day.

06-06-2016, 12:24 PM
Mosbonian On Hiatus Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $2189700	Advice from pet owners....serious question here Would love some input from parent on here who have Special Needs children/adults who have pets......we have a male Shitzu-Pekingnese mix that has been a dear member of the family for about 18 years now....we got him when he was just 8 weeks old and he has been the constant companion to my kids when they were young and more of a comfort animal to my Adult Special Needs son over the past 6 or 7 years. My son and this dog have this bond....the dog has always sensed when my son was having a troubling moment and would sit near him or on his lap. But the last couple of years have been a bit of a struggle......especially this last year. Pepper, his name, is much more feeble, has trouble seeing well, has what one vet called "Doggie Alzheimers" and struggles with incontinence. Most of the time now he stays outside on the back porch or in the gazebo. My son struggles with seeing him this way and at times refuses to even go outside to see him for fear of what he might find. On the flip side, any discussion we have about "doing the right thing by him" ends up with my son getting upset. My wife and I struggle with what is the right thing to do.....continue to let a dearly loved member of the family still struggle out of comfort for my son, or end the pain for someone who has brought a great deal of joy to us for the past 18 years. I told myself that i would never let an animal get to this point, but I also know how this would deeply affect my son. Anyone else ever have to deal with something like this? Any input would be greatly appreciated.
Posts: 11,368

06-06-2016, 06:52 PM	#16
cdcox www.nfl-forecast.com Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $2131769	A man took his dog to a zoo. The dog was the only animal in the whole zoo. It was a shitzu. Sorry for your situation. I am in favor of getting a new pet at the proper time. Maybe calling it your dog would be the best choice to ease your son into the situation. Pets are awesome and make life better.
Posts: 45,544

06-06-2016, 08:59 PM	#17
Mosbonian On Hiatus Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $2189700	Thanks everyone for your input....everyone was solid on views and opinions and I can't thank you enough. I'll update you as I make my decision.
Posts: 11,368

06-06-2016, 09:14 PM	#18
bobbymitch Starter Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Midwest coast Casino cash: $9893512	Since your son is a special needs child, what has the doctor/whatever said about the dogs loss and its effect upon you son? The whole life/death cycle for special needs children can be difficult. Since there is that special bond, can he sense any changes in the dog? Is this something that you can discuss with him. Man, I don't envy your position one bit. __________________ This is the place where brilliant minds assemble to willfully pool ignorance with questionable logic in order to reach absurd conclusions.
Posts: 655

06-07-2016, 12:44 AM	#19
'Hamas' Jenkins Now you've pissed me off! Join Date: Jan 2006 Casino cash: $7939572	If the dog is isolating itself and losing control over its bowel and bladder functions it may be at the point where it doesn't have much quality of life. With that said, it's obviously a complicated situation. I don't know the extent of your son's disability. I'm inferring that he knows about life and death but that this is more of an issue of letting go. I have a daughter with special needs, but she is still very young (four), her disabilities are primarily motor-related, and I don't believe that either she or her sister truly understand what it means for someone or something to die. I'm really very sorry that you and your son have to go through this, but I also believe that if you care enough to solicit advice over an issue like this you will make the right decision. __________________ "When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read 'all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics.' When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of loving liberty – to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.”--Abraham Lincoln
Posts: 74,853

06-07-2016, 01:24 AM	#20
DaNewGuy Trippin' BAWLZ Join Date: Jun 2014 Location: Another dimension Casino cash: $9794749	Damn I'm drunk and caught a feel trip at 3 am. Sorry man I have really nothing to offer here but my good vibes sent your way for You and your family. I will say 18 years is a hell of a run. __________________ I'll miss you Albert Wilson
Posts: 3,648

06-07-2016, 01:38 AM	#21
kjwood75nro Veteran Join Date: Jan 2014 Casino cash: $3765150	In my experience, the absolute best thing to do when a dog dies is to get another. Every time, I said I didn't want another, but having that new dog gives you a sense of responsibility and purpose that allows you to recover quickly. The love you had for your old dog quickly transfers to the new one. It'll be tough, but not nearly as tough as seeing a beloved pet suffer with no chance of recovery.
Posts: 4,035

06-07-2016, 01:45 AM	#22
Demonpenz Woman should only make babies Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $2852136	There is some things in life that you never have closure on. I would try to have an open mind that there maybe long term emotional scares from this situation. This sounds like it could be a long drawn out thing. Whatever happens your heart is in the right place even though it hurts like hell. I am sure you will have this story in your back pocket for someone else on the do's and don'ts. __________________
Posts: 54,313

07-09-2016, 06:02 PM	#24
Mosbonian On Hiatus Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $2189700	Just an update for everyone.....we all made the decision that it has come to a time that we feel the quality of life for our family friend has gotten to the point where we don't want him to suffer any longer. We had the discuss with our son and even he agrees now that it is time. So....one day this week my son will come downstairs, hug his best friend, say his goodbyes and hand him over to his mother and myself. I just want to ask that you say a little prayer or send some positive thoughts for my son as he deals with this.
Posts: 11,368

07-09-2016, 06:18 PM	#25
Demonpenz Woman should only make babies Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $2852136	Good job dude. Brighter days will be ahead of you. __________________
Posts: 54,313

07-09-2016, 06:22 PM	#26
Hog's Gone Fishin Fish are scared of me Join Date: Nov 2001 Casino cash: $1340477	Prayers sent tonight. Getting another pet WILL ease the burden. We just had to put down a cat that my daughter has had her whole life (16) . The cat had stomach cancer. Probably from eating my wifes cooking. The Labrador is turning 9 this year and will be next. You will get through this.
Posts: 40,426

07-09-2016, 06:47 PM	#27
Great Expectations MVP Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Joplin, MO Casino cash: $13352338	Prayers with you, another pet sounds awful until you spend time with a new pup. Then it rejuvenates everyone. __________________
Posts: 7,230

07-09-2016, 06:53 PM	#28
kccrow MVP Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Michigan Casino cash: $2947078	Hope son is taking it ok.
Posts: 12,682

07-09-2016, 08:34 PM	#29
Kman34 My Mamma Says Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Glass Cage Of Emotion Casino cash: $1591786 VARSITY	I know it's hard but you are doing the right thing....... prayers sent to your family....
Posts: 13,968

07-09-2016, 08:38 PM	#30
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2139173647	Man sorry to hear it has finally come to this, but way to man up and do what is right for the dog. I have been in the same position several times and it has always been some of the hardest times of my life. Looking back now, as hard as it was at the time, it was the right thing to do. At this point I have two Doberman's and an Aussie. One of my Doberman's is starting to get up there but is still in great health and goes running with me every morning. The day I have to go through that with her is going the be a really really long day. __________________ Adventure is dangerous....but monotony can kill you.
Posts: 69,798