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Old 12-22-2015, 12:22 AM  
Rain Man Rain Man is online now
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My own personal horror story.
I came home tonight, and was alone in the house since my wife was out. I reheated some pizza, pulled a chair up to the breakfast bar, and went in search of Monday Night Football.

Then I got distracted. When I turned on the TV, there was some weird scene in a movie where a guy was setting up a system of strings in his yard and I couldn't figure out what was happening. He appeared to be having some trouble with the law, and there was an attractive neighbor next door, and it looked like it could be kind of a quirky dark comedy. I like quirky dark comedies.

So I watched it. I ate my pizza and watched, and the guy is spying on his attractive neighbor and having trouble with the neighbor kids, and at some point decides that his weird creepy neighbor may be behind the disappearance of a woman.

At that point, the comedy part of 'dark comedy' went away and it started getting creepy. It cycled down and down and eventually the guy is trying to find his kidnapped mother in a dark basement full of corpses. You know the drill - flashlight, darkness, turn a corner and there's suddenly a rotting corpse staring you in the face with a big blare of music.

I don't like that type of movie, not at all, but I was already invested by that point and it was clear that the movie was about to end, and the neighbor really was pretty cute. So I'm watching and the creepy murderer is lying in wait upstairs, the guy is downstairs ... the rotting corpses are everywhere ...

And then I glance toward the kitchen door, which is about four feet away and looking out into darkness. My wife had come home and walked through the back yard, and had just silently put her face against the glass to peer in at me.

Holy mother of god.

You hear stories about people having heart attacks when they're surprised, but I never really thought they were true. I now think they may be true. I adrenaline spiked so hard that I think some came out of my ears. It was actually painful and my chest is still tight.

I never want to have that happen again.
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Old 12-22-2015, 12:53 AM   #16
Lonewolf Ed Lonewolf Ed is offline
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Old 12-22-2015, 01:15 AM   #17
ToxSocks ToxSocks is offline
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Originally Posted by Lonewolf Ed View Post
Vengeance is a dish best served cold. The wife should be worried. Very worried! Seriously, she owes you a BJ
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Old 12-22-2015, 01:35 AM   #18
Saccopoo Saccopoo is offline
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You got busted watching porn.
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Old 12-22-2015, 02:19 AM   #19
eDave eDave is offline
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Old 12-22-2015, 03:21 AM   #20
19now11 19now11 is offline
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grow some balls you fkn pansy. i never get scared.
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Old 12-22-2015, 03:25 AM   #21
Saccopoo Saccopoo is offline
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grow some balls you fkn pansy. i never get scared.
Good luck with the incoming ban.
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Old 12-22-2015, 06:59 AM   #22
Kman34 Kman34 is offline
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Maybe your wife planted that movie for you to see.... This sounds like an plot to drive you crazy or give you a heart attack..... Check your basement...Name notify your next of kin.... Take precautions now....
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Old 12-22-2015, 08:08 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
I knew nothing about it, and just started watching. In retrospect, the ending was kind of hokey, but it really drew me in. I had no idea that the plot would move in that direction. I guess it was a good movie in that regard, but ... yeah. Weird.
Sort of a remake of Rear Window.
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Old 12-22-2015, 08:40 AM   #24
beach tribe beach tribe is offline
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And the whole time you didn't know what you should have truly been afraid of.....
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Old 12-22-2015, 09:33 AM   #25
Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan is online now
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So, Rain Man, have you checked for any new life insurance policies on you lately?

"Why, no, Officer. I can't imagine what could have caused that heart attack. Of course, he did fall and bang his head on the ice the other day. Perhaps a blood clot broke loose. Oh, sorry, there's the adjuster with my million-dollar check..."
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Old 12-22-2015, 09:36 AM   #26
Mav Mav is offline
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Good story Rain Man. I cracked up.
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Old 12-22-2015, 09:46 AM   #27
Donger Donger is online now
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I have no idea how she choreographed that.
Do you know if it was choreographed, or was it just a very creepy coincidence?
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Old 12-22-2015, 10:08 AM   #28
The Franchise The Franchise is offline
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Old 12-22-2015, 12:06 PM   #29
KChiefs1 KChiefs1 is offline
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Old 12-22-2015, 12:25 PM   #30
Rain Man Rain Man is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan View Post
So, Rain Man, have you checked for any new life insurance policies on you lately?

"Why, no, Officer. I can't imagine what could have caused that heart attack. Of course, he did fall and bang his head on the ice the other day. Perhaps a blood clot broke loose. Oh, sorry, there's the adjuster with my million-dollar check..."
I'm definitely going to monitor my life insurance as I get older and my remaining career earnings potential declines. You can never be too careful.
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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