Your affluence vs. your extended family's affluence.

[Rain Man]

The Philip Buchanon thread got me wondering.

What's the income/wealth situation between you and your various family members - parents, in-laws, siblings, etc. Do you share information about finances? Know anything about their finances? Are there notable differences in income or wealth? Does it cause any issues?

My family is really good about everyone minding their own business and being self-supporting. I know a bit about others' finances because I'm the one who is often asked questions about finances, taxes, etc. and I usually come away from those discussions worried.

I think my family thinks I'm affluent, and I'm pretty sure I'm at the top end of the clan in that regard (at least on my side of the family), but I don't share my financial details at all. They all live in low cost of living places and don't quite get life in a big city and things like house prices and the fact that I don't have a pension coming and stuff. The only issue it's caused is that I've been groused at a few times for spending money on travel. But I always make a successful rebuttal that I'm the only one who decided not to have kids, which saves a ton of money. I'm sure everyone is equally annoyed by the time those conversations end, but it doesn't change anything.

I've only been asked for money a couple of times, and I gave it. I pretty much got paid back 20 years later, so I'm good. We also got a small loan from my in-laws for a down payment on our first condo, but paid it back with significant interest within a year. We just needed to come up with some cash fast to buy a particular place that was a steal. I don't remember if my wife asked or if they offered, but it bothered me greatly until we paid it back. We'd only been married a couple of years when it happened, so I didn't want to refuse it.

I do have one distant branch that I would never tell about my finances, because they'll show up on my doorstep, fake a fall, and try to sue me. But they're not an issue because I have little contact with them.

What's your family like?

[Chiefshrink]

Originally Posted by milkman

I consider you all extended family.

Thx Milk !!

[Chiefshrink]

Originally Posted by DA_T_84

My immediate family does fairly well. My brothers both have families they can care and provide for. One is an attorney, another is an insurance sales director.

I had a rough start out of school, graduating with a BA in communications in 2008 - worst year ever. Bartending, Waiting tables, and being an intern, then commission-only online ad sales for small businesses was tough. Parents let me live at home for 2.5 years because I was making nothing, and there was seemingly no way to get out from under. At the same time, dad was let go and was out of work for just under 2 years as well... they pretty much lost all they had saved for retirement, at the age of ~60. It was rough.

Dad ended up getting into a job for 2 years that was paying better than the one that let him go, and ended up providing excellent retirement benefits. Through some strategic work with the market, they are now set up to be comfortable, but not wealthy.

I finally said "**** it" and moved down to Austin for the software industry. I have been blessed to work with 2 great companies, previous and current, and should I snag a promotion in the next 6 months, I would be on par with my bro's, but at a younger age and no house/family to spend it on.

Mom's side of the family has stayed in the lower-middle class, but they get by. Father's side has had a pretty low economic status due to various health issues and life choices.

Way to stay at it man !! Good for you!!

[Hammock Parties]

My dad is loaded, but spends money like he's not. They JUST got a flatscreen TV this year. It's inconceivable, especially considering he owns probably $10,000 in guns.

I'm pretty sure there's a sizable chunk of change coming my way in the next 20 years. Which is good, because neither of my grandparents made shit. Which was also probably good, because it led to me having the cool parents that I do have.

[scho63]

Originally Posted by MahiMike

Families should talk more openly about money. They don't teach it in school. For some reason, it's as hush-hush as politics and sex.

They should toss out all the silly shit they teach in school and focus more on things that help you in life. Money management being a huge one.

[Reaper16]

Grew up lower middle class at best (single-parent household; said parent making a rural school teacher's salary). Both sets of grandparents did OK for themselves - middle class, dollars stretching out because of mostly rural location.

I'm decidedly lower class right now.

One of my aunts is maybe more poor than I am. My uncle (dad's brother) is upper middle class. Dude owns a house construction business & does well for himself.

[BigMeatballDave]

Originally Posted by Numbah One

My dad is loaded, but spends money like he's not. They JUST got a flatscreen TV this year. It's inconceivable, especially considering he owns probably $10,000 in guns.

I'm pretty sure there's a sizable chunk of change coming my way in the next 20 years. Which is good, because neither of my grandparents made shit. Which was also probably good, because it led to me having the cool parents that I do have.

Just how much are we talking about?

I'm willing to be the little spoon...

[Discuss Thrower]

Originally Posted by Donger

My relatives in England are all "working class" and not at all affluent. They give us crap about being "rich Americans" all the time, which I find rather sad.
.

Aren't we on like the seventh generation of British class angst or some shit? Isn't it time to let that go....?

[Bearcat]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

But I always make a successful rebuttal that I'm the only one who decided not to have kids, which saves a ton of money.

Having bought a new car recently, I've had a few of these discussions lately where people make little comments about income or whatever, and I mention not having kids, buying a house that's well under the recommended housing expense/income ratio, and saving money for the things I really want.

I have a pretty big family and there's a pretty wide range of income... regardless of who I'm talking to though, I try to keep my own finances to myself. For the rare times when someone comes off like I must be making some crazy amount of money, mentioning no kids usually does the trick. I dunno, when I was making $30k/yr out of college, I bought a ~$27k car and had a $500/month car payment... granted, it wasn't a good financial decision, it was within my budget at the time and never came back to bite me in the ass, so it's not like I had to be swimming in cash to buy something I really wanted... and some of the comments I hear, especially from people who don't have kids, really makes me wonder what people spend their money on and if they realize you don't have to spend all of it every month or buy a house that's 28% of your income because that's what they say you should do, etc...

[Bugeater]

I'm probably the least successful of the siblings. Older brother is a Civil Engineer and does pretty well for himself. Younger brother...ehhh he works for Ameritrade, not really sure what he does there but he has a newer car and home than I do so I'm assuming he makes more than me, although maybe he's in debt up to his eyeballs or maybe his wife makes all the money. Who knows. I never took school seriously and ****ed off and partied through my teens and most of my 20s and I paid the price for it. I do ok now and I guarantee I've had more fun than either of my brothers.

We grew up somewhat poor because my mom didn't make all that much and my dad took off when I was 10 or 11 and was a deadbeat after that. He lives in a mobile home now so I'm guessing his financial situation isn't all that great.

Grandparents on my mom's side were land-rich but cash-poor farmers, my uncle on that side is a retired civil engineer and owns a fair bit of farmland and I'm sure has a nice sum socked away since he never married or had kids.

Wife's side of the family is loaded, her mom is a retired oncologist and her uncles are both pilots for a major airline.

[kccrow]

One uncle is a millionaire former engineer that patented a few soup can labeling machines or some shit. Other than that, pretty much everyone is paycheck to paycheck. Nobody is dirt ****ing poor, but nobody has much to note.

[alnorth]

As far as I can tell, I make the most money in my extended family, but I would not consider myself to be in the upper class at all. My mother is doing fairly well, not very far from my level. One of my two brothers is doing pretty well and may make about as much as I do soon. I also have an uncle and a couple random cousins who are doing OK.

Everyone else in my family on both sides is broke as hell.

[SAUTO]

I grew up dirt poor, I'm the top level of my immediate family. I do all right for myself. I've got a couple uncles who do pretty well too.

My wife's side?


Some of the extended family are on another level than probably 99.9 percent of the people in the world.

[Amnorix]

Originally Posted by MahiMike

Families should talk more openly about money. They don't teach it in school. For some reason, it's as hush-hush as politics and sex.

This. Sooo this. Our local HS has a class on finance which my kids WILL take.

They will also each get thorough lessons in basic economics from us before they leave the house.

[ChiTown]

I've been more fortunate in my career than my siblings. When my Mom passed away a couple of years ago, I gave my share of my inheritance to my brother's and sister. It wasn't F You money, but right around $60K/per sibling. I think they were both surprised and appreciative of the gesture.

We don't necessarily talk about finances - there is really no need to. My Family knows if they need financial help, I will help them however I can. Conversely, they are there for me in other ways that are just as important. None of my siblings have EVER asked for money, I've just known when to extend the offer (as a gift, not a loan).

[Imon Yourside]

I'm literally surrounded my millionaires so we're the poor side of our family, I make around 100k give or take right now. So ya, poor here.