How classic was your childhood?

[Rain Man]

Prison Bitch's fishing thread got me wondering. How classic was your childhood? Take the enclosed poll to find out, and then let us know how many you checked off the list.

Rules: Count only things that you did BEFORE the age of 13.

Disclaimer: I'm a guy so I don't know what girls did before the age of 13. However, I suspect there's significant overlap so hopefully this list is reasonable for people of all chromosomes.


You can summarize your childhood score here:

45 or higher - Your childhood was so American that it was actually Australian.
40 to 44 - Your childhood was classic American and not a pansy soft American. You're an American who eats steak.
35 to 39 - Your childhood was classic American, but probably from one of the coastal states
30 to 34 - Your childhood might be classic American, but more likely it was Canadian.
25 to 29 - Your childhood was more European than American, but one of the tougher central Europe states like Germany or Slovakia. Or maybe Iceland.
20 to 24 - Your childhood was probably English.
15 to 19 - Your childhood was probably French.
10 to 14 - Your childhood was probably Japanese or some other place that's fundamentally different.
9 or lower - Your childhood was probably in one of those bubbles due to an immune system failure.

[scho63]

Originally Posted by Fishpicker

what I want to know is how many posters have ever found porn in the woods. if you grew up in the 80's and liked to hang out in the woods, you would occasionally stumble across a grocery bag filled with skin rags.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...m=woods%20porn

I was wondering where the hell I left those!

[scho63]

Originally Posted by Bwana

Ring and run - Ring a doorbell and run and hide to watch the reaction.

Flaming bag of crap - light a bag of crap on fire, ring the doorbell and watch the guy come out and stomp out the flame. We only did this once, some old boy shot rock salt at us for cutting across his field so we evened the score.

Something tells me you were also the kid who knocked over mailboxes with a baseball bat......

[Bwana]

Heh when I was in Jr. High the teachers went on strike at the end of the year. They filled in with substitute teachers and half the school skipped a day or two. I tried to persuade my parents that it would be a good idea to let me avoid school until "the real teachers" got back. They would have none of it and told me to get my tail to class.

This went on for a few days and crazy Mike and I thought we deserved a day off from the substitute teacher grind so we skipped a day. The same big ditch I was talking about earlier that runs through town (the one that's illegal to swim in) was also a great swimming spot. Some college students had strung a rope from a tree over the ditch so we spent the afternoon enjoying the sun and swinging from the rope into the ditch.

After awhile we looked up and there was some dude across the ditch with a camera taking pictures of us, we had no idea who it was and really didn't think much of it at the time.

The next day went like this:

Dad at breakfast: Soooooooo how was your day at school yesterday?
Me: fine
Dad: Really, so what did they go over in class?
Me: I made up some BS story.
Dad: I take it you haven't seen the morning paper yet?
Me: no, why?

Dad goes and grabs the paper and crazy Mike and I are on the front page swinging off of a rope into the ditch.

Me: Uh-Oh

I think I got grounded for a month for that one.

[Bwana]

Originally Posted by scho63

Something tells me you were also the kid who knocked over mailboxes with a baseball bat......

Nope we never did that although there was and incident involving dynamite and a farmers mail box. I won't go into detail much about that one, let's just say the guy deserved it and dynamite was a lot easier to come by in those days.

[Buehler445]

Originally Posted by Bwana

Heh when I was in Jr. High the teachers went on strike at the end of the year. They filled in with substitute teachers and half the school skipped a day or two. I tried to persuade my parents that it would be a good idea to let me avoid school until "the real teachers" got back. They would have none of it and told me to get my tail to class.

This went on for a few days and crazy Mike and I thought we deserved a day off from the substitute teacher grind so we skipped a day. The same big ditch I was talking about earlier that runs through town (the one that's illegal to swim in) was also a great swimming spot. Some college students had strung a rope from a tree over the ditch so we spent the afternoon enjoying the sun and swinging from the rope into the ditch.

After awhile we looked up and there was some dude across the ditch with a camera taking pictures of us, we had no idea who it was and really didn't think much of it at the time.

The next day went like this:

Dad at breakfast: Soooooooo how was your day at school yesterday?
Me: fine
Dad: Really, so what did they go over in class?
Me: I made up some BS story.
Dad: I take it you haven't seen the morning paper yet?
Me: no, why?

Dad goes and grabs the paper and crazy Mike and I are on the front page swinging off of a rope into the ditch.

Me: Uh-Oh

I think I got grounded for a month for that one.

Jesus Christ Bwana, your parents are saints.

[scho63]

Here are a few more I forgot:

-Running or riding your bike behind a "mosquito" truck that was spraying a cloud of DDT and had that wonderful smell

-Siphoned gas from someone else's car

-Toilet papered or soaped up someone's car

-Paid a stranger to buy you alcohol when underage

-Had a fake ID

-Bought books from a bookmobile

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by Bwana

Nope we never did that although there was and incident involving dynamite and a farmers mail box. I won't go into detail much about that one, let's just say the guy deserved it and dynamite was a lot easier to come by in those days.

Heh. I'm sure the statute of limitations has expired by now.

[Bwana]

Originally Posted by Buehler445

Jesus Christ Bwana, your parents are saints.

Yeah they pretty much are. We all laugh about it now but they had to be thinking about sending me off to some kind of military school or something. They didn't know about a lot of the hell we raised, we didn't get caught, thank God!

[Dartgod]

Originally Posted by Bwana

Heh when I was in Jr. High the teachers went on strike at the end of the year. They filled in with substitute teachers and half the school skipped a day or two. I tried to persuade my parents that it would be a good idea to let me avoid school until "the real teachers" got back. They would have none of it and told me to get my tail to class.

This went on for a few days and crazy Mike and I thought we deserved a day off from the substitute teacher grind so we skipped a day. The same big ditch I was talking about earlier that runs through town (the one that's illegal to swim in) was also a great swimming spot. Some college students had strung a rope from a tree over the ditch so we spent the afternoon enjoying the sun and swinging from the rope into the ditch.

After awhile we looked up and there was some dude across the ditch with a camera taking pictures of us, we had no idea who it was and really didn't think much of it at the time.

The next day went like this:

Dad at breakfast: Soooooooo how was your day at school yesterday?
Me: fine
Dad: Really, so what did they go over in class?
Me: I made up some BS story.
Dad: I take it you haven't seen the morning paper yet?
Me: no, why?

Dad goes and grabs the paper and crazy Mike and I are on the front page swinging off of a rope into the ditch.

Me: Uh-Oh

I think I got grounded for a month for that one.

Not quite as good, but in high school you weren't allowed to leave school grounds...like that really stopped anyone.

So a bunch of us go in my car to McDonalds...right across the street from where my dad worked. So I'll give you one guess who pulled up in the drive-thru line behind me.

He wasn't really too pissed at me, just laughed about it mostly.

Another time, same scenario. Except we hit the drive-thru and the vice principal of the school is there outside the building. The girl that was driving thinks fast and gives him some BS story that we were in journalism class and had been to the retirement home nearby to interview residents for a class project. And he totally buys it! We were laughing our asses off on the way back to school.

[Bwana]

Originally Posted by Frazod

Heh. I'm sure the statute of limitations has expired by now.

Yeah I'm sure you're right and I'm sure the old bastard died off 20 years ago.

We were at a party out in the woods with 25-30 people and some farmer comes up and starts ranting how we were on his land while holding a rifle. In theory and from what we were told permission had been granted, but evidently that wasn't the case.

My buddy was trying to explain it to the bastard when out of the blue the farmer hauls off and smacks my buddy with the butt of the rifle in the face. My buddy went down like a sack of rocks. We went back about a month after that and did the complementary redesign of his mail box which also blew a rather large hole in the ground.

I didn't see the "have you ever blown things up with dynamite" in Rainmans pole or I would have checked it.

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by Bwana

Yeah they pretty much are. We all laugh about it now but they had to be thinking about sending me off to some kind of military school or something. They didn't know about a lot of the hell we raised, we didn't get caught, thank God!

I drove the family beater, and after a wild night where I put a ton of miles on the car the parents limited me to 15 miles and checked the odometer. Well, disconnecting the odometer (and speedometer) on a 1971 Ford Maverick is quite easily accomplished by removing two screws from the dash panel, pulling out said dash panel, and disconnecting the cable from the speedometer.

After that, my mileage was unlimited. Hell, one weekend while my parents were out of town I drove three hours to Kansas City and went to a Royals game. The only downside is not having a functional speedometer, which really sucks if you're being tailed by a cop. And drunk (but I digress).

Years later I laughingly told my dad about the odometer thing. He was not amused.

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by Bwana

Yeah I'm sure you're right and I'm sure the old bastard died off 20 years ago.

We were at a party out in the woods with 25-30 people and some farmer comes up and starts ranting how we were on his land while holding a rifle. In theory and from what we were told permission had been granted, but evidently that wasn't the case.

My buddy was trying to explain it to the bastard when out of the blue the farmer hauls off and smacks my buddy with the butt of the rifle in the face. My buddy went down like a sack of rocks. We went back about a month after that and did the complementary redesign of his mail box which also blew a rather large hole in the ground.

I didn't see the "have you ever blown things up with dynamite" in Rainmans pole or I would have checked it.

Sounds like proper revenge to me.

[DaFace]

36

[Bwana]

Originally Posted by Frazod

I drove the family beater, and after a wild night where I put a ton of miles on the car the parents limited me to 15 miles and checked the odometer. Well, disconnecting the odometer (and speedometer) on a 1971 Ford Maverick is quite easily accomplished by removing two screws from the dash panel, pulling out said dash panel, and disconnecting the cable from the speedometer.

After that, my mileage was unlimited. Hell, one weekend while my parents were out of town I drove three hours to Kansas City and went to a Royals game. The only downside is not having a functional speedometer, which really sucks if you're being tailed by a cop. And drunk (but I digress).

Years later I laughingly told my dad about the odometer thing. He was not amused.

Nice

When I was around 12 my parents went golfing and Crazy Mike and I took my parents other car for a joy ride knowing they would be away for hours. It wasn't the first time, so I was an old pro at it.

I came wheeling around the corner by the house doing some kind of power slide that would of made Bo Duke proud. Much to my surprise, there my folks sat in the driveway. They had evidently forgotten something and came back for it. Both of them had just gotten out of the car. I'll never forget the looks on their faces. It was kind of a combo, we can't believe what we're seeing and a you are going to die now look.

Crazy Mike bailed out of the car said "I have to go now!" and ran off up the street. I think he thought he may be part of the impending collateral damage. I don't recall what my punishment was, but that was the 2nd maddest I have ever seen them.

[Buehler445]

Man, I missed out on all the fun stuff. I raised a little hell in high school, but not really much compared to you crazy ****s.