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Old 08-26-2012, 11:39 PM  
RealSNR RealSNR is offline
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I learned some stuff about hippos today
One of my friends is working in Tanzania currently, and for part of his vacation he went on safari. Some of the pictures he brought back are hella cool. He was telling me that the best pictures he took by far are the ones of the hippos, simply because he was lucky and had a cab driver who wasn't afraid to get close to see them. I didn't understand what he meant, but he explained to me that of all human deaths by animals, hippos are the most dangerous. They kill far more people than any other animal. They will eat anything that accidentally wanders onto their territory. Lions, gazelles, birds, humans... ****ing crocodiles sometimes.

The other reason why the hippo picture was so impressive was because the stench of these animals is un****ingbearable. He was saying that these are some of the most disgusting mammalian creatures in existence. The hippos he encountered were all hanging out in their own pool. That's kind of where they spend all of their time. ALL of their time. They shit in there, too. They spend almost all of their time bathing in their own shit. Literally, the pool/pond is low-oxygen. Turbid. It doesn't drain, either, so they just shit in it day in and day out. Only a few species of fish can survive in there.

I'm posting his side of the story from our AIM chat log. Paraphrasing his words probably isn't going to be as effective:


(4:01:00 PM) and i saw one of them do it
(4:01:11 PM) it stood up out of the water and let out this continuous blast
(4:01:21 PM) but then it also spun its fat little tail
(4:01:22 PM) like a propeller
(4:01:25 PM) so shit literally
(4:01:27 PM) hit the fan
(4:01:28 PM) and went every which way
(4:01:37 PM) onto the heads of its fellow hippos
(4:01:42 PM) then it sat down

I'm letting you all know this incase you ever find yourselves in an area of the world where hippos live in the wild. Be warned by the strong stench of stale watery shit. If you are not naturally deterred and foolishly continue investigating, keep your eyes peeled for hippos. For the love of God, watch out. Because they are assholes, and will eat anything and everything. So unless you want to suffer the shittiest fate imaginable, where you get shit on, ripped to shreds, eaten, and pooped out into a pond of year-old hippo diarrhea, WATCH YOURSELF. Beware of hippos.
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:10 PM   #61
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Photographic evidence (this is his picture; you won't find this anywhere else using a google search):

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Old 03-17-2014, 08:11 PM   #62
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I think their closest living relatives are whales, or something crazy like that.
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:14 PM   #63
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:23 PM   #64
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:27 PM   #65
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I learned some stuff about hippos today
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Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
When I was in Africa, we went to an estuary that had a bunch of hippos. The interesting thing that I learned is that they don't swim. When they move in a river, they sink down to the bottom and do a "leap and glide" that seems pretty efficient. When we saw a hippo moving, we could trace its path because every 50 feet or so there would be a small muddy patch in the water where the hippo had kicked off the bottom.

Yeah, I think they call them "water horses".

EDIT: Nope, it was "river horse". Apparently that's what the Greeks called them back in the day.
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:36 PM   #66
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:52 PM   #67
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On "An Idiot Abroad", Ricky Gervais had Karl Pilkington stay in a home where they had a pet hippo. Damned thing walked around the house like a dog.
Love, love, LOVE that show!!!!

It really is a show [2 limited run series as yet, 6-8 episodes each] made for CPers, a homebody with a blunt amusing take on the world, 'forced' by Gervais and Merchant to expand his horizons. They send him all over the world to see the beauty and the squalor in it all.

He strapped as a wing walker on a biplane had me pissing my pants in laughter.

It's probably even better if you're acquainted with Karl through Gervais' podcast, which was turned into an HBO animated series, because his lines of reasoning were just begging for animation
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Old 03-17-2014, 09:29 PM   #68
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Love, love, LOVE that show!!!!

It really is a show [2 limited run series as yet, 6-8 episodes each] made for CPers, a homebody with a blunt amusing take on the world, 'forced' by Gervais and Merchant to expand his horizons. They send him all over the world to see the beauty and the squalor in it all.

He strapped as a wing walker on a biplane had me pissing my pants in laughter.

It's probably even better if you're acquainted with Karl through Gervais' podcast, which was turned into an HBO animated series, because his lines of reasoning were just begging for animation
I still think the very first episode in china was the best. I was in tears.
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Old 03-18-2014, 12:41 AM   #69
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Love, love, LOVE that show!!!!

It really is a show [2 limited run series as yet, 6-8 episodes each] made for CPers, a homebody with a blunt amusing take on the world, 'forced' by Gervais and Merchant to expand his horizons. They send him all over the world to see the beauty and the squalor in it all.

He strapped as a wing walker on a biplane had me pissing my pants in laughter.

It's probably even better if you're acquainted with Karl through Gervais' podcast, which was turned into an HBO animated series, because his lines of reasoning were just begging for animation
It's great. I've seen a few episodes on NetFlix. I'd recommend it.
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